Daddy I'd like to Fk
by Your Baby Daddy
Summary: He's older. He's a slut. And he's her dad's best friend. He's everything Bella can't have. But that doesn't stop her from wanting him. Will something special come from this infatuation or is she just a hit-and-quit for Edward? Lemons on lemons on lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**So, this idea just randomly popped into my head. Basically because my dad's best friend is hot as shit and it gives me a way to fantasize about him… I'm bad. Anyways, I really hope you guys enjoy the story. I will be making weekly updates every Sunday! **

**Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are Stephanie Meyer's. I just like making them do some freaky shit.**

"Mom, seriously, why do I have to go with you guys?" I whined, picking my head up from the pillow I had my face stuffed in. Mom rolled her eyes at me from the open doorway to my bedroom.

"Edward is bringing his kids, that's why. Your father hasn't seen his best friend for 3 years and you need to be there to watch over Brody and Gavin. They're just little boys, it will be fun for you. I know how much you love children." I pouted, rolling over on my bed to snatch up my cell phone. "Seriously, Bella." Mom scoffed. "I don't know why you have to act like such a brat. Your father does everything he can for you and now, when he asks you to do one thing for him you repay him with attitude. Next time you want something I'll make sure he says no."

Scoffing, I glowered up at her. "I didn't say I wouldn't do it, Mom. I'm just texting Angela to tell her I can't go to her birthday party, okay?" Mom pursed her lips before nodding.

"Okay honey, I'll let you pack now." I gave her a curt nod and watched as she slowly closed the door to my room and left. With a huff of annoyance, I sprawled myself out on my bed and glared up at the ceiling. It wasn't fair. Angela and I had been planning her birthday party for weeks, and now I can't go.

I threw my arm over my face and groaned. Now I have to spend the weekend babysitting some little brats because my dad wants to hang out with Edward and continue their little bromance. I don't know why Edward doesn't just bring his wife along to watch them instead of trusting a 16-year-old kid to babysit them at a waterpark of all places. I mean isn't that how it usually works with family vacations?

Knowing I didn't have a choice in the matter, I got up and started throwing random articles of clothing into my duffle bag. I made sure I had my favorite bikini before zipping it up and tossing it out into the hallway. I could hear my parent's voices drifting up from downstairs as I made my way to the bathroom.

"I know, Renee. It's just that Edward really needs some time away from that woman." My dad growled and I'm pretty sure he had his signature 'Charlie-is-flustered' face on, judging by the tone of his voice.

"I just don't get it, Charlie. If he knew she was crazy all along why did he bother marrying her in the first place?" I leant up against the wall by the stairwell to continue my eavesdropping.

"You know how Edward was, well _is _still actually. He's always been so shallow when it comes to the women he dates. He married her because she was beautiful." I scoffed quietly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well, that she is." My mother insisted. _Yeah right, _I thought sarcastically. _If you're into gingers with big fake boobs._ "He should have known the whole thing wasn't going to work out when she insisted they slept in separate rooms because of his snoring. Hell! You snore like a chainsaw, but I still sleep in your bed every night!" I could hear my dad's good-natured chuckle in response to her jest.

"Yeah, well we saw the signs. All Edward saw was a pretty face, a nice rack, and the potential for beautiful children. Thank god he's filing for divorce and so he can be free of that psychopath. Honestly, I don't know why he waited so long. I would have left with the kids a long time ago if I were him."

"But I don't blame him for trying to make it work, Charlie. They have two little boys together, and this divorce is going to be extremely messy. I would have toughed it out like him…" Mom trailed off, "but I'm glad that he's finally seeing that nothing is going to make their relationship better. I mean, since there wasn't anything good about it to begin with."

"I feel bad for the next man who falls into that succubus's trap." My dad sighed. My mom giggled in response.

"I would usually defend a woman who is being called that name, but Tanya really is a succubus. Poor Edward. Poor Brody and Gavin. I just hope this little vacation gives Edward the relaxation he needs before all hell breaks loose in that house." I chose this moment to start making my way down the stairs to inquire about dinner. My parents immediately stopped discussing Edward's pending divorce once they saw me wander into the kitchen. Unbeknownst to them, I had heard it all.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

The next morning, dad loaded our luggage into the back of his Tahoe. I emerged from the house wearing gray baggy sweats that I rolled up at the waist and a white tank top with my hair piled up on top of my head in a style I liked to call the 'top knot.'

"Why do we have to leave so early?" I grumbled while buckling my seatbelt. Dad's eyes met mine through the rearview mirror as we waited for mom to lock up the front door.

"Because I said so, that's why." I wrinkled my nose at him.

"You're so combative." I mumbled, crossing my arms over my chest. Dad stuck his tongue out at me through the mirror just as mom opened her car door.

"Ew, Charlie! Don't make that face!" Mom laughed, strapping herself in. Dad chuckled good-naturedly and backed out of our driveway. I quickly popped my headphones into my ears to block out the world. Curling into the door, I quickly fell back asleep for the entire duration of the 5-hour drive from our home in the Florida Keys to the resort we would be staying at in Disney World.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

My head lolled around my shoulders as we pulled to a stop in front of Disney's Beach Club Resort. Mom reached back and jostled my arm in order to wake me up.

"Bella, honey, we're here." I peeled my eyes open slowly and yawned. Seeing that the valet was waiting for me to get out, I struggled with the door and almost fell face first onto the ground as I tripped on my baggy sweats. Dad chucked at my expense and nudged my flaming face with a hairy knuckle.

"Such a klutz, just like your mom." He laughed, swinging a long arm around my shoulders. "Come on Belly, we're in Disney! Try to smile and act like you're happy to be here." I pulled back my lips and gave him a ghastly smile while rolling my eyes.

"Is this good enough for you?" I asked sarcastically while kicking back the foot closest to him to whack him in the butt as we walked into the lobby.

"You just look constipated." Dad laughed, shoving me away from him to wait in the line at the front desk. I blushed as several people turned their heads to watch our childish encounter.

"Real mature." I mumbled at my dad as I passed him, flicking his face. He scrunched his nose and batted my hand away. I busied myself by sitting next to mom in a plush chair in the lobby. Taking out my phone, I scrolled through the newsfeed of my Facebook and liked a few pictures that people had posted recently.

The loud shrieking of an excited child made me glance up from my phone, and then drop it on the floor with a loud clatter. The most gorgeous man I had ever laid eyes on was strolling into the lobby like he owned the place. From the looks of him, he very well could have. My mouth went dry as I surveyed him from head to toe. His light brown hair was a bit longer than I was used to seeing on men and was an unruly mess on top of his head. His face looked like it was chiseled by the gods, and I couldn't help but want to fall to my knees in front of him to worship him. He looked extremely out of place in his charcoal grey colored suit amongst the overweight and sweating tourists. I watched, almost drooling at this point, as he pushed the pair of dark aviator glasses from off of his nose and into his hair.

The only part that didn't fit in this picture of perfection in front of me was the two little boys that were clinging to his pants leg. I watched as he picked the littler of the two up and kissed his rosy cheek while he extended his other hand to the older one to hold as he made his way through the lobby and to the line at the front desk. He was a DILF if I've ever seen one. I licked my lips in appreciation as I watched how his suit pants cupped his perfect ass as he walked by.

I quickly glanced over to my mom to see if she had noticed my drooling and was surprised to see that she was making her way towards the front desk. My mouth fell open as the DILF walked right up to my dad and clapped him on the back, his face morphing into the most gorgeous smile I have ever seen. Mom quickly scooped up the little boy who was standing awkwardly next to his dad and began peppering his ruddy face with kisses.

I couldn't believe my eyes. Was the DILF dad's childhood best friend Edward? Jesus Christ, how can this man be the same age as my father? He looks like he's 25, not 34! Not that 34 was old or anything. My parents are probably the youngest couple at my school. My mother had me when she was 16 and my dad was 18, which is why my parents are so protective over me when it comes to dating. I'm not allowed to date until I'm 18… not that that has really stopped me from doing just that. I'm certainly not a slut, but I am no virgin.

The shrieking of a child brought me out of my confused daze. And then I was unsuspectingly mauled by a drooling child. I almost shoved the kid to the ground when I felt his little hands grab me around the neck and pull my shocked face towards his. Who the fuck lets their kid just molest someone they don't even know? I must have made a horrified face because the DILF was suddenly in front of me, pulling the kid away gently.

"Gav lets not go kissing girls who don't want to be kissed, buddy." I wiped the disgust off my face and traded it with a smile. The DILF glanced down at me quickly and apologetically. "Sorry, he's in his terrible 2s and has no self-preservation when he spots a pretty girl." My heart jumped into my throat at his words and my face flamed.

"No, it's alright." I laughed, shifting in my seat. The DILF's eyes wandered up and down my sitting form, which made my face heat up even more.

"You here on vacation alone?" He asked, shifting the kid onto his other hip. My eyebrows scrunched together; does he not know who I am? I nibbled my bottom lip and his eyes followed the motion unashamedly.

"I'm here… with my, uh, family." The DILF's eyebrows pulled together slightly as he continued to check me out. From over his shoulder I could see my mom making her way over to the three of us with the older of the two boys still in her arms.

"Edward," she laughed, tickling the little boy under his arms, "I see you've met Bella, Charlie and I's daughter. It's been a while since you've seen her." Edward's face paled as his eyes shot up to mine with such intensity. My chest felt hot from embarrassment. Why did I let him flirt with me?

"Your wha—yeah." Edward saved himself, shifting the little kid in his arms again. "Bella and I were just talking. What has it been, 10 years since I've seen her?" Mom smiled and nodded at the two of us.

"Yeah, since your wedding. She's never even met little Brody and Gavin." I tried to paste a smile on my face, but I was too embarrassed to even look up from my hands that were folded in my lap.

"Yeah…" Edward trailed off. I quickly flicked my eyes up to look at him. He was staring off into the lobby with a pained expression on his face.

"Bella, here hold Gavin for Edward. He needs to go help your father with checking in." The small, blond child was thrust into my lap. I glanced up quickly to watch Edward's stiff back retreat towards the front desk. I bounced the little child on my knees, absentmindedly running my fingers through his curly white blond hair. God, why didn't I say something? I just let him eye fuck me like it was perfectly fine for him to do that. He's dad's best friend! Oh my god, what the hell? How could he not know who I am?

I watched dad and DILF interact as little Gavin sucked the collar of his shirt. Looking at them both, I just didn't get how they were even friends. They grew up right next door to each other in the Redlands of Homestead. Edward's parents were extremely rich and had a huge house surrounded by acres of land, while my father's family lived in a small one-story home that made Edward's house look like a castle. Initially, they didn't get along. Edward came off as a spoiled only-child to my father, who was the oldest of 4. But after Edward beat up a couple kids who were bullying my uncle Matt my father and Edward became thick as thieves.

Dad and Edward joined us almost as quickly as they had left us. Edward seemed like a whole other person, his tie was loosened, his jacket was thrown over the crook of his elbow, and his shirtsleeves were rolled up. Other than the physical changes, he appeared to be feeling much happier. His smile was so radiant, and never left his face. It felt so wrong to hold his child and caress Edward's beautiful face with my eyes like I was doing, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. I just hoped my mom didn't notice the way I was drooling over him. She has the infallible ability to see through what is on the surface and look deep within you. I can't hide anything from her.

"Ney, we're living large this weekend!" Dad exclaimed, wrapping an arm around mom's waist as he laid a loud kiss on her cheek. "Edward's upgraded all of us to a 2-bedroom suite. 2 queen beds, 1 king bed, and a day bed. It sleeps 7, isn't that perfect honey?" My mouth dried up as I glanced up at the DILF. He was staring off into the lobby again with his eyebrows pulled together. What was he thinking about right now?

"Oh yes! More time to spend with these little darlings. Edward, why have you been hiding these sweet boys?" Edward quickly snapped out of his haze and his luminous smile spread across his face quickly.

"What sweet boys?" He laughed and picked Gavin up from my lap without even glancing at me, "You can't be talking about my spawns. These boys are demons." My mom rolled her eyes at him and scoffed, hugging little Brody closer in her arms. I just sat there with a goofy smile on my face, watching it all go down. Maybe this weekend won't be so bad after all.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

It felt like my parents spent forever down in the lobby socializing but it probably was only around 5 minutes. Deciding that it was time to head up to the room to change, I got up from my seat and stretched my arms out above my head. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Edward's eyes on me as my tank top rode up and exposed my stomach and pierced bellybutton. My heart hammered in my chest as he licked his bottom lip then slid his teeth across it. I'm guessing he realized what he was doing was wrong because he scrunched his eyes shut and shook his head several times.

I followed them silently to the elevators and up to our room. As the door to our suite swung open I giggled, watching the two little boys scurry into the room. I followed them inside, letting the door slam shut behind me. The main room housed a kitchen and a large seating area in front of a flat screen TV, and then there were 2 rooms off of that. One of them had a giant king sized bed and TV, the other had 2 queen sized beds and a day bed.

After some quarrelling, we settled on my parents staying in the room with the King bed and Edward, the boys, and I staying in the other room. I could hardly control my breathing as I dropped my duffle on the bed closest to the door. I was going to be sleeping in the same room as him.

Edward quickly strode in and deposited his luggage on the floor beside the dresser along with a smaller duffle which I'm guess held the boys' clothes. Brody and Gavin ran in screaming behind him, their faces red with excitement.

"We goin' swimmin' daddy?" Brody asked, struggling to climb up on the other queen bed. Edward grabbed him under his arms and tossed him onto the bed with a chuckle.

"Uh huh, buddy. Where do you wanna go? Typhoon Lagoon or Blizzard Beach?" As he was asking this, he scooped Gavin up in his arms and nuzzled his little chubby cheeks.

"Welllll… Isn't a blizzard cold, daddy?" Edward smiled at the 6 year old and turned to look at me over his shoulder.

"It sure is, buddy. Why don't you ask Bella which park she wants to go to?" Brody looked up at me and blushed; he shook his head quickly as his little lips pressed together tightly. Edward glanced down at his son and laughed. "Come on, Brody. Ask her!" Brody shook his head again and then buried himself in the pillows.

"Oh my gosh!" I cried, smiling wide, "he's so cute!" Brody giggled into the pillow upon hearing what I had said about him.

"You hear that buddy?" Edward laughed, "Bella thinks you're cute." Brody giggled again. "Now stop hiding and lets get ready to go to the park. It's already getting late and the park is going to be packed by the time we get there." I watched as Brody emerged from the pillows, his light brown hair rumpled and looking exactly like his father's. My heart broke for these two kids knowing what they were about to experience.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

We rode one of the resort buses over to the waterpark together. After shameless flirting, I finally got Brody to sit on my lap on the way there. The sweet boy was sitting on my lap playing angry birds on my iPhone, his face a mask of concentration.

"So Edward how is work going for you?" Mom asked from across the isle from us. Edward looked up from his cell phone and shrugged.

"Work is work. I'm making money so I can't complain." Dad smirked at him and crossed his legs.

"So being a sports agent is all you've wanted it to be then, Edward?" Edward shrugged his shoulder and nodded.

"Yeah, it's definitely something I enjoy, Renee. It certainly pays the bills." He glanced down at his phone with finality. Sheesh, he's touchy.

"How are Carlisle and Esme doing?" mom asked again. Is she being real right now? Obviously the DILF doesn't want to be bothered anymore, but here she goes again with all the questions. I glanced up at her and rolled my eyes, hoping she'd take the hint. Unfortunately for Edward, she didn't even notice me.

"They're doing great. My mom finally convinced Carlisle to move out of the Redlands. They just bought a house on Old Cutler, in Palmetto Bay." Mom nodded, pretending to understand where he was talking about. She rarely made the trip up to Miami, preferring to stay cocooned in our little islands. "Carlisle is making a lot of good money right now. The move has been really great for business since he's closer to the office now." Mom nodded again.

"Yeah, I was thinking about getting a little work done actually." Dad glanced at her quickly, frowning.

"When were you going to tell me this, Ney?" Mom shrugged, biting her lip. Edward glanced between the two of them with a faint smile on his lips.

"My dad would definitely prefer it if you used him as your surgeon if you decide to get something done, Renee. Although, I must say you definitely don't need the work." The corners of my lips turned down in a frown. Was he hitting on my mom?

"You hitting on my wife, Ed?" Dad chuckled as the bus came to a stop outside of the waterpark. Brody scurried off of my lap, still attached to my cell phone.

"Of course I am, Charlie." Edward quipped, shooting my dad a cocky smirk and a wink. Then snapping back into daddy-mode, he grabbed Brody's little arm before he could run off with my phone. "Wait, buddy." He laughed, his eyes crinkling in the corners. He pried my phone out from Brody's little fingers and glanced at the screen quickly before handing it back to me. My face drained of all color when I saw what he was looking at. I quickly pressed the lock button and swallowed down my embarrassment. It seemed like the world was adamant on embarrassing me today.

As we were making our way off of the bus, I tried to lag behind our group to wallow in mortification. A shoulder bumped into mine on my way through the isle and I looked up, my cheeks flaming. Edward was staring down at me intently, and he leaned towards me.

"Nice." He murmured, nodding towards my phone. "You better not let your dad see that or he'll have your ass." He gave me a cocky smirk before straightening up and striding away from me. My mouth popped open as I stood there looking at his retreating form in surprise. "You coming?" He laughed over his shoulder, his eyes twinkling with laughter.

_No, _I thought. _But with a little help from you I most definitely will be._

**Thanks for reading! See you next Sunday! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, I said I'd update on Sunday. But I really meant Tuesday. This story is pre-written to an extent so I'm hoping I can keep up with pretty quick updates! **

**Just a forewarning, THIS STORY IS M FOR A REASON. K thanks.**

**Also, I lay no claim on any recognizable characters. Buuuuut Brody and Gavin be mines. **

**K, thanks x2.**

* * *

I moistened my lips as I shifted my body on my lounge chair. From my position, I could see into the huge wave pool that Brody was playing in. Mom, Dad, and Edward were floating around a little bit deeper into the pool. Beside me, Gavin laid sprawled out on a lounge chair taking a nap. I adjusted the towel so that more of his fair skin was covered and pulled the little floppy hat down more firmly on his head in order to distract myself.

But I couldn't keep my eyes off of the sight in front of me. There was only one word that can adequately describe Edward's body: perfection. He was quite tall, around 6'4" with broad shoulders that tapered down to a narrow waist. He looked like an underwear model standing next to my dad whose hairy chicken chest and little poochie belly hardly compared.

Not to mention the tattoos. When Edward shed his shirt to go out into the water, my mouth dropped open at the sight of him. He had four that I could see: cursive script that stretched from shoulder to shoulder underneath his prominent collarbone, an intricately designed compass was etched over his left pectoral, a black and grey lion stretched across his inner right forearm, and some sort of curly black script covered the entire expanse of his left side. I could feel myself drooling, not only from my mouth, as I watched him ruffle his messy hair and throw his head back in laughter at something my dad said. My eyes followed the hard lines and planes of his body, taking in his jacked arms and shoulders, built chest, tight abs, the coveted v-line that ran down his hips… Holy shit, I'm so screwed.

"Miss Bella!' Brody cried from the wave pool, "Come swim with me!" Torn between running to the little boy and staying to watch the sleeping baby, I sat up in my lounge and frowned. Noticing my dilemma, mom hurried over to me to take my spot on the lounge.

"Go ahead and play with Brody. Poor boy, Edward won't let him go on the slides." I smiled at her and ran into the water to swim around with Brody. As we were pretending to be sharks on the prowl in the crowded wave pool, a loud boom garnered our attention. I turned my head in shock as a monstrous wave made its way towards us. Taking action quickly, I scooped up the shouting 6 year old and ran towards shallower water. Panicking slightly, I could tell this wasn't going to end well. I could hardly hold up the soaked child, and the wave was going to take us out.

Just as the wave was about to annihilate us, muscular arms wrapped around my waist and held on tightly as the wave crashed over him and pushed the three of us forward. I wasn't officially sure who had saved us, but I definitely had an idea.

Emerging from underneath my flipped over hair, I looked over my shoulder. My eyes connected with a pair of pale green eyes. A shock of excitement shot through my stomach. I hadn't really seen Edward's face up this close, but now that I had the opportunity I wasn't going to waste it. My eyes took in his face like a starving woman. His brown eyebrows were so thin and shapely that you would think he waxes, but the skin around them lacked that shiny quality one has when they wax. So they were definitely natural. His lashes were long, dark, and clumped together from the water. High and angular cheekbones lead into a perfectly straight nose with a smattering of freckles across the bridge. My mouth ached to kiss his pink pouty lips and the cleft in his chin. I was practically hyperventilating by the time I was done looking at him. And my skin was tightened into a rash of goose bumps.

"Are you cold?" He asked, chafing his hands against my arms. I shook my head and swallowed. My arms tingled where his skin touched mine.

"I-I'm good." Then noticing the little boy in my arms, I pulled him away from my chest to assess the damage. He was beaming at me, showing off his missing tooth. I gasped in surprise and thrust him at Edward.

"He lost a tooth! Oh my god, I'm sorry I knocked his tooth out!" Edward glanced at his son's mouth and chuckled.

"His tooth has been missing for two weeks, Bella. You didn't knock it out." My face flamed in embarrassment.

"Oh… well…" Edward chuckled again.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." I nodded and took Brody back from Edward's arms.

"Miss Bella," Brody asked, his tiny arms wrapped around my neck as his little fingers played with the ties to my bikini top. "Can we please leave this pool? It's scary." I nodded and carried Brody out of the wave pool. It was pretty hard, seeing as I was holding a soaking 6-year-old boy while walking through water crowded with people. The wave's impact had loosened the ties on my bathing suit bottom and by the time we finally emerged I was looking like the Coppertone baby with my bathing suit falling off my ass.

I glanced over my shoulder as I yanked up the material and caught sight of Edward behind me. He had a look on his face like he had just sucked a lemon. What the hell is his problem? Is he not an ass man?

As a group, we decided that the lazy river was our next destination. After I had fixed myself, I grabbed a double float for little Brody and myself as we entered the pool. Edward lumbered in behind us, looking like pure sex. I tried to avoid looking at him as he submerged himself in the lukewarm water, but failed.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"Miss Bella, puuuleaaaseee can we swim faster?" I rolled my eyes at Brody and laughed.

"No, buddy." Edward answered for me from his float next to us. "If you swim away, we might not be able to find you." Brody pouted, but stopped asking to go faster. Settling back into the float, I found myself dazing out. I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if we were family… And when I say we, I mean Edward, the boys, and I. I mean my mom had me when she was 16 and she's totally fine now. And Edward's a man; he's not an 18-year-old kid like my dad was. He could take care of me. I couldn't even believe the direction of my thoughts, but I kept imagining us together anyways.

The low rumbling of Edward's deep voice brought me out of my daze. I jerked my head in his direction to see that he was talking to some blond chick with big fake boobs. I frowned as I watched her trace her finger along the lion on his forearm and smile up at him seductively. My face heated with jealousy. Of course, he's found someone he's allowed to flirt with. My god he's such a slut!

I had to put an end to this. He can't sit there and flirt while he was on a family vacation! His kids are right here!

"Edward?" I asked innocently, "Brody's asleep. I think we should get out." He looked up from the flirting blond and shrugged.

"Yeah I guess so." He said, flipping himself off of his float. I suppressed a smirk as he waded over to us and wrapped his arms around our float to guide us to the next exit. "You're getting out with us, right?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, of course." I replied, smiling at him. He nodded, looking over his shoulder at the chick he left behind. I kept my face blank, but inside I was pouting like a petulant child. Why do I have to be 16? Why can't I be old enough for him?

We exited the pool and waited for my parents to follow us out before we headed back to the lounge area. Mom seemed so happy holding Gavin in her arms. It almost made me question why they never had any more kids after they had me.

When we got back to our chairs, mom took over babysitting duties and insisted we go off and ride the slides. I hesitated before following my dad and Edward.

I quickly learned that while my dad came off intimidating sometimes, he was a chicken shit deep down inside. He refused to go down several slides because they looked "unsafe." Sure, dad. I'm definitely sure he encountered more dangerous situations on the job, seeing as he's the Chief of Police.

So since dad wouldn't go down the slides with us, Edward had become my slide buddy. I almost died when Edward's muscular legs straddled my shoulders as we got ready to ride Crush 'n Gusher, it required us to ride in a double tube with one person sitting in front of the other. I couldn't help but stare at his long, wide feet as they rested on the float next to my waist. For the entirety of the ride I kept feeling his calves flex against my sides. I know I shouldn't have, but I let my pinky finger wander over his calf during the last leg of the ride. I couldn't resist touching him, the temptation was too hard to fight off.

When we flew out of the end of the slide, Edward gripped the handles of the float and flipped us upside down almost immediately. I let out a shriek as I tumbled face-first into the water. Emerging, looking like a drowned cat, I let out a huff and adjusted my bathing suit top and hair.

"That was unnecessarily cruel." I huffed, pushing the float towards the steps that led out of the pool. Edward pushed the hair away from his face, looking so young and carefree as he beamed at me.

"Don't tell me that wasn't fun, Bella!" Edward chuckled, handing our float to the staff member at the stairs. I pouted, trying to tame my crazy hair.

"You messed up my do!" I exclaimed, gesturing to my knotted hair. Edward glanced at the mess and shrugged.

"Your hair was messed up way before I flipped the float. That wave pool really did a number on it. I don't know what you were expecting it to end up looking like, I mean we are at a waterpark…" Edward trailed off, looking at me with his eyebrows raised. I shoved his arm, pouting like the little kid I was. _Real mature move there, Bella. He totally wants to fuck your brains out now that he realizes how juvenile you are._

I fought back a frown as I followed Edward back to my dad, who was waiting by the entrance to the ride. He was tapping his foot impatiently, like he was nervous we wouldn't return.

"I'm alive dad! You can stop worrying a hole in the ground now!" I exclaimed, running towards him to throw my arms around his neck. He chuckled and patted my back.

"Am I that obvious?" He asked, looking to Edward over my shoulder.

"You are, Charlie. When are you going to admit that you're afraid of heights?" My dad dropped his arms from around me and sighed.

"I'm not afraid of heights, Ed." Dad stated, giving Edward an exasperated look. I chuckled and watched them banter back and forth.

"Yes, you are." Edward stated, quirking an eyebrow up. Dad sighed again.

"I won't repeat myself again. I am not afraid of heights." Edward pouted his lips and narrowed his eyes at my dad.

"Char, stop getting so worked up! The first step to accepting that you have a problem is admitting it." I crossed my arms over my chest and took a step back to watch them. I had never seen my dad so riled up before.

"Fear of heights is not a problem, Edward." Dad snapped. I watched as a lazy grin spread across Edward's face. My breath hitched, he was so beautiful.

"So you admit it." Edward stated cockily, "You admit that you're afraid of heights!" Dad's face scrunched up as he huffed again.

"Fine, Ed. I'll admit it. Heights unnerve me." Dad huffed again, "If you weren't 5 years younger than me and yolked up on steroids I'd whoop you for embarrassing me in front of my kid. You better watch your ass when I'm strapped, boy." Dad chuckled good-naturedly. But I was already zoned out of their conversation.

Edward wasn't my dad's age? I didn't realize he was that much younger than my dad. But then again, it makes sense. Now I can see their friendship started out like a sibling bond. Edward was only 13 when I was born… I mean, that's still a huge age gap but at least he's not old enough to be my dad.

But still… that means he was 19 when he got married. I know enough about Tanya and Edward's history to know that they weren't high school sweethearts. They didn't even meet until he started college. I wonder why he decided to settle down so quickly and so early. I mean mom and dad had a reason to get married. Edward didn't start having kids until he was 4 years into his marriage.

I zoned back into the conversation just as my father was getting baited into the bet that Edward had laid out for him. Figures, dad could never resist a bet. Anytime I goad him with a "you won't" he has to do whatever it is that I had challenged him to in order to prove me wrong.

Dad was going to go down the tallest slide in the park, Humunga Kowabunga. As we approached the slide, I knew that there was no way in hell that I was going down it. I could just see myself squirting out of the end of the tube with a giant wedgie and my top completely ripped off. My tiny coral-colored knit bikini, although quite cute, has already proven itself to be very unreliable when faced with any sort of distress.

Promising to be back soon, dad and Edward rushed up the stairs that led to the start of the slide. I sat myself down on a set of bleachers that were placed at the end of the slide for people to watch as water sprayed everywhere and grown men emerged from the water wearing their swimming trunks as thongs.

I waited patiently to see my dad come flying out of the tube, but it seemed like it was taking forever. I could feel the hairs on my arms standing on end, notifying me that someone was staring at me. Letting my wild hair fall in a curtain over my shoulder, I peaked around the wall and spied a kid around my age staring at me from the other end of the bleachers. When he saw that I was looking at him, he slid a little closer to me with a smile.

"Hey." He said with a boyish grin, "I noticed you over here by yourself so I thought I'd keep you company." I gave him a polite smile and nodded. "I'm Colin." He said, extending his hand out to me.

"Hey," I murmured with a smile, "I'm Bella." He ran his thumb over my knuckles before dropping my hand.

"If you don't mind me asking…" Colin murmured slyly, "But exactly how old are you?" I shrugged my shoulder before telling him that I was 16. His eyebrows shot up before he nodded.

"How old are you?" I asked, putting my head in my hand and looking up at him through my lashes. Colin frowned at me before scratching his head and answering.

"20." I smiled and lifted an eyebrow. I was really laying it on thick with this guy. From the corner of my eye I could see Edward's tight and tattooed body emerge from the slide. Knowing that he would see me flirting, I laid it on thicker.

"I don't care if you don't." I murmured while placing my hand on Colin's knee. Colin glanced at my hand and bit his lip.

"Are you here with your parents?" He asked, checking out my boobs. I was about to answer but a pair of strong hands pulled me down from the bleachers and interrupted me before I could say a word. I scoffed as Edward shoved me behind him protectively.

"Yes, she is." He replied in a gruff voice. I huffed and pushed him aside.

"Don't listen to him." I told Colin with a coy smile, "Do you want to hang out?" I asked, taking a step towards him. Edward's hand instantly wrapped around my wrist and stopped me in my tracks.

"Take one more step, Bella, and your dad is going to hear about this. As for you." Edward growled at Colin, "try and talk to her again and I'll send you back to whatever University you attend looking like an eggplant. I am not fucking around." Colin chuckled, putting his hands up in defense.

"Look man, she came onto me. I'm outta here." I watched as he jogged away, and then turned back to Edward. He looked stern with his arms bulging as they crossed over his chest.

"Edward, you're not my dad!" I cried, exasperatedly. Edward's eyebrows rose as he pursed his lips.

"I'm very aware of this." Heat flooded my cheeks as I realized what he was implying. "Look Bella, I really don't know how to say this so I'm just going to come right out with it. First those pictures on your phone and now this… you're well on your way to breaking your father's heart. I don't know you, and I won't pretend to. But I can't see how a daughter of Charlie's would be acting this way. Maybe that's just my opinion, though." I couldn't help but feel scolded.

"I… I don't know what to say." I replied, biting my lip. "Are you going to tell my dad?" I asked expectantly. Edward pursed his lips and uncrossed his arms to scratch the back of his neck.

"I should… but I'm going to let you get away with it this time. Please try to take it easy on Charlie… I wasn't kidding when I said you're on your way to breaking his heart." I nodded and wrapped my arms around my torso, suddenly chilled. I still couldn't believe that he saw those pictures on my phone. I swear I had them saved in a passcode locked folder, but somehow Brody got around that.

"Yeah… thanks Edward. I don't know what came over me." Edward cocked his head to the side and peered at me with narrowed eyes. Was he buying it? I don't know. I hope he did, but then again would it be bad if he thought I was a naughty girl? I mean he did see me all posed in front of the mirror wearing nothing but my underwear.

"Don't mention it." Edward replied, glancing at me warily.

"Don't mention what?" Dad asked from behind Edward. I literally jumped out of my skin in surprise.

* * *

**Ruh roh, will Edward throw her under the bus? Pictures saved in a locked folder, Bella? You sound like me when I was 16 (; heh heh heh**

**XOXO**

**REVIEW FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER TO BE POSTED SOONER! _Eeet is reeaadyyyy. _:***


	3. Chapter 3

******PLEASE DON'T SKIP OVER THE BOLD SHOUTY CAPITALS. I ALWAYS DO WHEN I READ OTHER PEOPLE'S STORIES BUT IT'S IMPORTANT, MKAY? **

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, you da best. Everyone who didn't… I still kind of love you anyways for just reading. Tbh, I never really review either because I usually read FF on my phone and I'm never logged on to my account on there…

**Getting real serious now… **

**IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR YOU CAN'T HANDLE READING GRAPHIC MATERIAL, PLEASE JUST STOP READING NOW. THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR A REASON. SECONDLY, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF EDWARD GETTING IT WITH SOMEONE UNDERAGE, YOU CAN LEAVE NOW TOO.**

*EDIT: IF YOU WOULD PREFER NOT TO READ ANY EXPLICIT ENCOUNTERS BETWEEN UNDERAGE BELLA AND EDWARD SKIP THE BOTTOM OF THIS CHAPTER, MOST OF THE NEXT, AND MOST OF CHAPTER 6. THOSE ARE THE **ONLY** LEMONS WHERE BELLA IS UNDERAGE.

_Let me clear up some confusion. Bella didn't know that Edward wasn't the same age as her dad in the beginning of the story. Edward is only **29.** Charlie is 34. _

**YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

See, not so hard was it? For those of you still here, enjoy! I know I definitely enjoyed writing this chapter… unnnff.

**These characters are the property of Stephanie Meyer. I just like making them fuck.**

* * *

"Don't mention our bet to you." Edward replied casually. Dad looked us over warily. Another bet? Come on Edward, you can do better than that!

"What bet?" Dad asked. Edward smiled coyly. I don't know where he's going with this, but I'm not about to start talking and ruin his plan. This is the second bet Edward has goaded dad with today; hopefully he makes this one convincing.

"Our bet that you won't go down that slide a second time." Dad's face paled. And he put up his hands in a way that screamed: I surrender!

"Enough bets for today, Ed! That slide will be the death of me, I swear." Edward chuckled, but I could see that his eyes kept shooting in my direction.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Dinner at the Yachtsman was uneventful. I wasn't feeling very hungry so I ordered a salad and picked at it as I watched Edward devour his meal. I had to reign myself in a little bit when I let out a whimper as Edward's lips and tongue wrapped around his spoon to suck off the chocolate cake my dad had ordered for desert. Gosh, he even made eating look sexy.

After we were done with dinner, the adults took off for Downtown Disney and left me in the room with the two boys. Gavin was behaving very well and passed out almost immediately in his little pack 'n' play. Brody insisted that we lie down together and watch TV until his dad came home.

After watching Transformers and half of Iron Man 2, Brody was passed out and drooling on my lap. I absentmindedly ran my fingers through his crazy hair while scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook.

About forty minutes later, the door to our suite banged against the wall. I crept out of the room to watch my father heft my drunk ass mom into their room over his shoulder. Edward strolled in behind him, his cheeks ruddy and his eyes sparkly. God, he looked so good in his light blue button down and distressed jeans.

I hurried back into the room and slipped back into bed just as Edward meandered in. He looked surprised to see me awake.

"Still up?" He asked, his words slurring slightly. I shrugged and dropped my phone onto the nightstand.

"What kind of babysitter falls asleep on the job?" I joked, fluffing my pillow.

"Not a very good one." Edward replied as he yanked his shirt over his head. My mouth popped open as I watched him disrobe. Holy shit, drunken Edward has no shame.

I almost choked on my spit as I watched him unbutton his jeans and let them drop to the floor with a muted plop. I tried to look away, I really did, but I just couldn't. He glanced over his shoulder and smirked knowingly at me before turning around. My eyes almost bugged out of my head at the sight of him in his form fitting black boxer briefs. I wanted to lick every surface of his body.

"I thought it was unfair that I had seen you in your underwear and you hadn't seen me in mine. So call us even." I gaped at him as he strode over to my bed and kissed his son on his forehead. His face hovered over mine for a second before he leaned down. His hot breath clouded my senses as his face approached mine. He smelt like alcohol. My eyes squished shut in preparation of the kiss I hoped would happen.

His lips gently brushed my forehead as he whispered a soft goodnight into my ear. Fuck, his lips were so fucking soft. Opening my eyes to slits, I watched as he backed away from me and flipped off the lights. And then I heard the rustling of his sheets as he slid into bed.

5 minutes later his soft snores filled the room. God, he even made snoring sound sexy.

I'm so fucked.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

The next morning I woke up with little arms wrapped around my arm and a tiny face pressed into my neck. Disoriented, I sat up and looked around the room. My eyes landed on Edward. He was propped up in bed with his laptop sat across his thighs, still in his underwear.

"Brody's a clinger." He laughed, looking up at me from over his black-framed glasses. I could literally feel my ovaries aching. I involuntarily let out a whimper. Oh my god, I want him so much. "Your dad bought donuts." He said, seemingly unaffected by my lustful looks and sounds. "They're in the other room." I nodded, hardly able to take my eyes off of him as I disentangled myself from his clingy child to head to the bathroom.

I whipped down my pants and shook my head, seeing that my light blue panties were soaked all the way through in the crotch. God I'm a sick fuck. Not 30 seconds ago, I was lying in bed and cuddling with a 6 year old with this slip 'n' slide going on in my shorts.

After I had relieved myself, I headed to the kitchen to get myself a donut. I almost burst out laughing when my mom dragged herself out of her room. She looked awful. Her usual flawless shiny hair was in a lopsided, ratty bun and her make up looked like it was melting down her face.

"Morning mom." I chirped. She just grunted back in response and started making herself a cup of coffee. I watched as Edward made his way into the room, noticing that he was wearing long pajama bottoms and a gray v-neck shirt instead of his boxer-brief get-up from last night and this morning. A huge smile spread across his face as he took in the state of my mom.

"Well well well…" Edward chuckled, "look what the cat dragged in! I can't say I've ever seen Miss Renee Azevedo look this stunning." Mom grumbled again and flipped him off over her shoulder.

"It's Renee Swan now, asshole. And if it wasn't for your enabling ass I wouldn't be feeling and looking like this right now." I busied myself with eating my donut, trying to stay out of their little argument.

"Whatever you say, Ney." Edward laughed, stalking over to where I was standing to grab a donut. He regarded me quietly before turning back to face my mom. "I'm really having some serious déjà vu right now. Bella looks exactly like you did when you were her age. Did Charlie supply any genetics or did your superhuman Brazilian genes just over power his?" Mom rolled her eyes at him and sipped her coffee.

I could see why he would say that. A lot of people tended to point it out to us. My mom was short and petite with fair skin and long curly chestnut brown hair. Next to her, I was only an inch taller than her 5'1" stature and lacked the exaggerated womanly curves she possessed. While her hair was in springy curls, mine was pin-straight and refused to curl no matter how hard I tried to. It was also a few shades lighter than her hair, leaning more to the blond side than brunette. I had also inherited her facial features: peculiar dark cat-like shaped eyes, a button nose, and big pouty lips. The only thing I had that my mom didn't were the deep dimples in my cheeks. Those I definitely got from my dad.

"She has his teeth, his dimples, and his hair." Mom replied over the rim of her coffee. "The rest is all me." Edward glanced over his shoulder at me and smiled.

"Yeah, I can see that." I gave him a tight-lipped smile before heading off towards our room.

"Isabella!" Mom called after me, "where are you going?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at me.

"I'm gonna go take a shower… is that alright with you?" I asked sarcastically. The corners of Edward's lips quirked up in a smile in reaction to the tone I was taking with my mom. Mom raised her eyebrows at me threateningly but nodded for me to leave anyways.

Sheesh, Hispanic moms… they're so domineering.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

We spent the rest of the day at Epcot. Brody was so amazed by the different countries that we must have circled the entire thing about 6 times. He was too short to ride most of the rides, so we ended up just running around pretending we were explorers in these strange lands.

We spent the entire day there, the parents getting drunk off the alcohol they served. And at night, I cuddled up with Brody on the steps of a store in Italy to watch the fireworks go off. By the time we were leaving, he was passed out with his limbs curled around me so tightly that I felt strangled.

Edward chuckled, taking in the sight of his sleeping child in my arms. With a tight-lipped smile, he took Brody from my arms. "I'm sure he's too heavy for you to carry all the way back to the hotel." He murmured, his eyes twinkling in the waning light. I shrugged and wrapped my jacked around myself tighter.

"He's not that heavy." I responded as I watched my mom stumble along with Gavin in her arms, drunk for the second night in a row. Jesus, she has no self-control. "Someone should take him from her." I laughed, watching as mom shifted the little boy in her arms sloppily. Edward smirked down at me and shrugged.

"He'll be fine." He replied with a smile, "If it was his mother holding him in that state _then _we would have something to worry about." I watched as his eyes darkened after he mentioned his soon-to-be ex-wife. It was the first time he had mentioned her all weekend.

"I… um… I'm sorry about that." I whispered, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder and squishing my lips to the side. Edward glanced down at me warily and shrugged, lifting his shoulder up and then letting it fall down. I watched as his fingers combed through his son's hair thoughtfully as he chewed on his bottom lip.

"It's life, you know?" He replied, in a dream-like state. Then his eyes shot down to mine, almost apologetically. "Well, actually you wouldn't know would you?" He laughed bitterly, giving me a small sad smile. "You're just a little girl, you have no idea what I'm going through."

I looked him over warily, my forehead wrinkling in thought. I guess I really didn't know what he was going through. I haven't experienced anything like it before. He's breaking up with someone he promised to be with forever, the mother of his children. I have never even had a boyfriend to break up with.

"Just promise me something, Bella." His pained voice brought me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him, worrying my bottom lip with my teeth.

"Yeah?" I asked, wetting my lips with my tongue.

Edward's forehead crinkled as he spoke, making him look so sad. "Just promise me that when you make that commitment to spend the rest of your life with someone… make sure that you do it for the right reasons… and that its with someone worthy of your love." My mouth popped open at his words as I struggled to find my voice to answer him. My dad had just swiped open the back door of the hotel and was holding it open for us as we made our way towards him, several paces behind.

Edward passed through the door and took it from my dad to hold it open for me. I passed through the doorway and looked up the hallway to see that my dad was preoccupied with helping my mom who had gotten progressively drunker on our walk home. Feeling emboldened, I leaned towards the sad man in front of me and laid my hand on his tight stomach. It clenched underneath my fingers.

As his mouth opened to say something, I pressed my finger to his lips to silence him. My heart hammered in my chest as I leant up on my tippy toes and pulled his head down so I could reach him. He was helpless, unable to stop me because of the burden of his son in his arms.

My lips ghosted along the shell of his ear as I whispered, "I promise" against it. Then I let my lips press a soft kiss to the smooth skin of his cheek before releasing him with a timid smile.

I could feel my face heating up and my heart pounding in my chest as I hurried down the hallway to catch up with my parents. I accepted Gavin into my arms and followed my dad to the bank of elevators down the hall. As the door dinged open, I shot a glance over my shoulder. Edward was standing a bit behind me with his hand cupping the cheek I had kissed. I swallowed and looked away, my cheeks tinting pink.

The ride up was silent except for my mom's groans against the mirrored walls of the elevator. When we arrived on our floor, dad threw mom over his shoulder and made his way to our suite. I trailed behind them, feeling the skin on the back of my neck prickling. Edward was staring at me.

When we got to our suite, dad called a quick goodnight over his shoulder and carried mom into their room. The door shut behind them, and I could hear the lock slide into place effectively locking us out. Edward strode past me into our room and laid his sleeping son on his bed. I followed behind him, carrying little snoring Gavin in my arms.

I watched as Edward rifled through the clothes in the small duffle and pulled out two pairs of pajamas. He stripped Brody down to his underwear and wiggled his body into the pajamas before tucking him into bed.

Wordlessly, he turned to me and held out his arms for Gavin. I handed him the child and turned to my duffle to get out my pajamas. With the clothes in hand, I scurried to the bathroom to change.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror after I had slipped on the form-fitting white tank top and the little flannel sleep shorts. Pursing my lips, I slipped the hair band off of my wrist and knotted my hair up on the top of my head before heading back out into the room.

My breath caught in my throat when I spied Edward sitting on the edge of his bed, his head captured between his hands. Suddenly, his head snapped up, green eyes blazing with some unknown emotion. Without saying a word, he stood up.

I watched, paralyzed, as he stalked towards me. His face looked feral. I couldn't tell whether he was pissed at me or really fucking turned on. But either way, the way he was looking at me made my stomach clench with excitement.

Without stopping his prowl, his hands picked me up by the shoulders and pushed me into the wall behind me. And then his body was crushed to mine. My mouth opened with a gasp just as his lips claimed mine. The kiss was so intense and almost painful. I had never been kissed like this before. My feet dangled helplessly as my hands desperately scrambled up his arms and into his messy hair.

What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck! I kept shouting in my head as Edward consumed my mouth. Despite my confused thoughts, my body was sure of what it was doing. My lips kissed, sucked, bit, and licked at his soft pink lips and his deft and smooth tongue. His mouth tasted like beer.

Edward's hands drifted from my shoulders. One cushioned my head against the wall and the other propped up my ass, encouraging my legs to wrap around his waist. Our kisses never slowed or became any less intense. They just kept going, wet and needy.

This was quickly getting out of hand. What the fuck spurred this on? Whatever it was, I had to do it more often if I was going to be rewarded like this.

The hand on my ass kneaded the flesh there as his teeth scraped across my bottom lip. _Not an ass man, my ass. _

A low moan sounded from the back of his throat as I undulated my hips, rubbing my hot center against the bulge in his sleep pants. I refused to let up the pace of our kissing or let his mouth leave mine, hoping that if we kept making out like this that he wouldn't realize who I was and stop.

The hand around my neck dropped down to my ass as he pulled me against him more urgently. My lungs were stinging from lack of oxygen and all of this exertion. Edward pulled his lips from mine, his breaths just as ragged as mine. He stared at me, his lids heavy over his eyes and his pink lips swollen from kissing. I trembled in his arms, biting my lower lip.

Edward slowly removed us from the wall and then tossed me onto my bed. I bounced across the surface of it, landing on my back in the middle of the bed. I stared up at him, looming over the edge of my bed. He placed a knee on the end of it and reached back to whip his shirt off in one smooth motion. My breathing picked up as he crawled towards me. His warm hands skimmed up my legs, his lips occasionally dropping a kiss on my skin on his way up my body.

I was gasping for air as his hands slid up my stomach, rolling my tank top up my belly. His tongue dipped into my bellybutton and his teeth tugged on the jewelry that adorned it. Warm fingers caressed the bottom curve of my breasts as my chest heaved up and down.

"You should tell me to stop." Edward groaned against the skin of my belly. I stared down at him and weaved my fingers into his soft hair.

"I don't want you to." I replied, my voice raspy with desire. Edward's head snapped up to look at me. I bit my lip as I watched and felt his hands crawl up my shirt. My boobs fit perfectly in his hands.

My heart was pounding as I watched him pull himself up my body a little more, his hands flexing around my boobs. I just lay there, staring at my chest, where I could see the outline of his hands underneath the cotton. I watched with my mouth open and eyes glazed over in desire, as Edward's mouth descended on one of my cloth-covered breasts. He kissed my nipple softly, his hands still holding my breasts under my shirt. I squirmed underneath the weight of his body and my center tingled with desire.

Edward's hips pinned mine down as his tongue darted out and circled around the peak that he had kissed. I suppressed a groan as his warm mouth pulled the fabric of my tank top into his mouth along with my hardened peak, all while staring up at me through his thick lashes.

I let out a strangled moan as he sucked me hard through the shirt, and then scraped his teeth over the sensitive flesh. His hands never left my shirt or moved to pull it off over my head.

I bit the knuckles of my right hand and anchored Edwards's head to my chest with my left, unable to look away from those eyes. His tongue was now flicking over my tightened nipple. My thighs clenched together tightly at the sight of what he was doing to me.

"Oh god, Edward" I sighed, my lips parted with desire as my breaths left me in short pants.

I gasped as Edward switched his attention from my left breast to my right. As his mouth wrapped around my right nipple, his thumb slid from underneath left my boob and circled my puckered nipple underneath the saturated cotton of my tank top. Letting out a whimper, I wrapped my legs around his waist and started rocking my pelvis into his. The only sounds in the room were my soft, gasping breaths and the sounds Edward's mouth made as he licked, sucked, and nibbled on my cloth-covered chest.

Oh god, it felt so fucking good. I glanced down at my chest to watch Edward's teeth rake over my erect nipple and shuddered. My body tingled and warmed as my orgasm approached.

_Not yet, _I kept thinking. _Oh god, I don't want this to ever end. _Edward met my eyes as he flipped my soaked shirt up and glanced down at my naked boobs quickly. My stomach convulsed and my toes curled as he ground his hips into mine and sucked my naked flesh into his mouth, his tongue lapping and swirling around my captured nipple and his fingers furiously rubbing the other.

I watched as he switched back and forth between my two breasts quickly, lapping his tongue over the taught flesh before his fingers took over, twisting and tweaking, as he buried his face between my breasts. My back arched off the bed with the force of my orgasm, warmth spreading in my stomach as it twitched and convulsed with spasms of pleasure.

Roughly, Edward sat up and away from me. Gasping for breath, I reached for him. "N-no…" I whined as I reached my hand out and desperately grasped the front of his jeans. He looked down at me through the slits of his eyes, his bottom lip clamped between his teeth.

"I'm going to hell," he sighed as he moved to get off of the bed.

* * *

**Holy tits, t****hat escalated quickly. (; heh heh heh, see what I did there? Tits… and he just… **

**Yeah, I'm sorry about that… lol**

**Anywayyyssss, see you Sunday. For real this time.**

**XOXO**


	4. Chapter 4

**Are you ready for this? Naaaa naaa naaaa, na na na, na na na na, na na na, na na na na. **

Okay, sorry about that. I'm here, and its sunday like I promised. I'm really enjoying this "update when I said I would" thing. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I can see you all were as horny as I was after that last chapter. Sorry I'm not sorry for cutting it where I did. Can't give everything away all at once.

Anywayssss….

**WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS SEXUAL THEMES AND ACTS. **

**Stephanie Meyer owns all recognizable Twilight series characters. **

* * *

I watched as he quickly jumped off the bed and hurried to the door. I swallowed as the door clicked shut, my hands coming up to cover my tingling boobs in shame. But then my heart jumped as the lock slid into place. My breathing sped up as Edward sauntered over to me, his dick straining against his jeans.

I almost shrieked when he grabbed my ankles and pulled my body down to the end of the bed. Rough hands pried my fingers away from my boobs and then whipped my shorts and underwear off me in one smooth motion.

My knees fell open, exposing my bare center. Wetness from my orgasm seeped down my ass crack and pooled onto the sheets. I watched, completely exposed, as Edward palmed his dick before falling to his knees. I sat up on my elbows and observed as he licked his lips before kissing my inner thigh. My legs tried to clamp shut around his head, but his hands shot up and yanked them apart roughly.

"So wet…" he murmured, his tongue teasing the pink skin between my legs and coming away with a string of moisture attached to it. I laid back and covered my face in embarrassment.

"God Edward, I've already..." I mumbled from under my hands, too embarrassed to finish the sentence.

"I know." Edward stated before his tongue licked me from slit to clit. My legs flinched underneath his hands as I let out a soft sigh. "Has anyone kissed you here?" Edward asked, sucking one of my outer lips into his mouth. My hips wiggled, trying to get him to focus his mouth on my clit.

"No." I sighed, sitting up to look down at his head between my legs. His eyes met mine as he frowned, but then a cocky smile spread across his face.

"Well, then I'll just have to show you how it's done." His teeth caught the soft skin of my inner thigh in his mouth and I sighed, my hips wiggling with need.

"Why are you teasing me?" I asked, my face crinkling with exasperation and impatience. Edward's smile widened before he lowered his head to the place between my thighs. His tongue slowly slipped between my lower lips and flicked against the spot throbbing with need. I gasped and fell onto my back as his strong tongue lapped at my clit. He tightened his hold on my legs and pressed my thighs up and apart, crushing my knees to my chest, pulling my lips apart so he could explore me easier with his talented tongue.

His tongue switched from lapping at me to twisting and twirling around my clit, his head bobbing around between my legs. I could feel his chin bumping into my butt with how furiously he was eating me. My breath left me in pants as my hand shot down to hold his head, my fingers twisting in his soft hair. His teeth clamped down on my clit softly before he sucked it into his mouth and fluttered his tongue against it. My hand slapped over my mouth to muffle my moans, desperately trying to keep quiet.

Edward relinquished his hold on one of my legs and slid his pointer finger around the edges of my center. "Mmmmm…" Edward rumbled against my soaking wet flesh, "taste so fucking good."

"Unnff, fuck, Edward." I answered as my arms hooked around the backs of my knees to keep myself in position as his other hand left the back of my thigh to spread my lips open wider.

My pelvis titled as Edward's wandering digit circled my entrance before sliding in a little and retreating. I dropped my head back on the mattress and rocked back and forth on his face as he pushed his finger in a little bit more, then pulled it out. All the while he pulled up on the hood of my clit and softly tongued the exposed nub of nerves.

I lifted my head and glared down at him when his face left my center, but quickly let it fall back again when he blew against my heated sex. I let an involuntary groan leave my lips as his finger finally entered me all the way and started rubbing against a place that simultaneously made me want to clamp my legs shut around his hand and jerk away from him. I thrashed my head from side to side on the bed, my hips rocking back and forth on his single digit.

Nobody had ever made me feel this fucking good.

Cracking an eye open, I watched as Edward watched himself finger me through hooded eyes. The tensing of his other arm made my eyes shoot down to where he was pumping himself, his pants halfway down his thighs. I sat up with a gasp and grabbed the back of his head to pull him towards me. Our lips crashed together as he tumbled on top of me.

"Bella, what—" I shut him up with my lips and wrapped my legs around his hips. His dick throbbed against the heated and tingling skin of my pussy. Edward let out a groan and dropped his forehead to my shoulder to watch as he guided the length of his dick up and down my pussy. I bit his shoulder as he pressed the head of his dick against my clit.

"Please, Edward." I whined, running my feet over the back of his thighs and raising my hips. My nipples tightened when the air expelled from Edward's sigh hit my skin.

"You _really _should tell me to stop now." I shook my head and raised my hips again.

"I'm not a virgin." I whispered against his neck as I peppered his skin with kisses and sucked it into my mouth. Edward groaned and flexed his hips into me, putting pressure on my clit. My hand dropped down to where he was gripping the base of his dick and pulled his fingers away. Taking his shaft in my hand, I guided it to where I wanted it. My feet crawled up his legs and wrapped around his ass, urging his hips forward. The head of his dick slowly slipped into me, and my head fell back as I let out a low groan. Putting more pressure on his ass with my legs, his dick sunk into me achingly slow as his hips tried to resist the pressure I was putting on them.

When he was fully sheathed in me, I opened my eyes to stare at his face. His eyes were smashed shut and his bottom lip was captured in between his teeth. I leaned up to kiss the cleft of his chin and lifted my hips off the bed to rub my pelvis into his. Sighing dramatically, Edward snapped his eyes open and stared down at me intensely. My stomach fluttered as I watched him lick his lips and felt his hips stir.

"Fine," he grunted, "but you asked for it." My head fell back as Edward roughly yanked my legs over his shoulders and ground himself into me. "Do we need a condom?" He asked, his forehead wrinkled with concentration. My head lulled back as he eased out slightly and then pushed forward into me really hard.

"N-no. I'm on the shot." Edward groaned before his hips started rocking back and forth into me, his dick sliding in and out with ease. My hands struggled to find purchase on his shoulders, but Edward's hands caught them and pinned them over my head. I bit my lip as I watched Edward's face contort in pleasure from under my lashes. His eyes were focused on my boobs that were smashed together under my thighs.

This position usually felt amazing, but right now all I wanted to do was get as close as possible to this man. And my legs were making it impossible for us to be chest to chest. I let my head fall back as Edward's mouth licked and sucked my neck, and then eased my legs off of his shoulders. I deftly flipped him onto his back, never letting him slip out of me. I gathered his thick wrists in my hands and pressed them down over his head, my hips swiveling. Edward's head fell back as he let out a soft moan and my mouth descended on his exposed skin. He was by no means restrained, but I'm definitely sure he found my taking control hot.

I pressed my boobs into his chest, my skin slick with sweat as I rolled my hips and rode his dick. I was no expert, but I had been with one other guy several times. And he was much more experienced than I— a senior—so he had taught me a thing or two.

I sat up quickly, bracing my hands on Edward's chest as I slid off his dick until only the tip was inside me, situated my feet so they were flat on the bed, and then slid down it again. Edward's hands immediately gripped my waist to guide me. Edward lifted his knees a little so I could reach back to use them as leverage. My boobs jiggled as I bounced on Edward's lap, my mouth open and panting. Edward sat up suddenly, driving his dick in deeper, and tangled his hands in my hair as his mouth attached itself to mine. Our teeth knocked as Edward thrust his hips upwards and guided mine down, hitting a spot deep inside me over and over again.

I gasped into his mouth as our breaths mingled, our faces nose to nose. Our tongues tangled as my hands scratched down his back, and then scratched back up and into his hair.

Edward's hands gripped my hips as he pounded me at a punishing pace, making my stomach clench as my orgasm approached. Gasping, I let my head fall back and tightened my hands in his hair as my eyes rolled back in my head and my toes curled. Heat spread in my stomach as my body convulsed with my release.

Edward flipped me onto my back, got off the bed, and then yanked me down to the edge. His hands roughly pulled my twitching legs apart as he slammed into me. My head fell back as he pounded into me using my legs as leverage to push his dick in and out of me. My mouth fell open as his hand wandered down my leg, along my inner thigh, over my clit, and up the center of my chest to grab ahold of my boob. I opened my eyes to stare up at him, hoping I didn't look like a blow up doll with my eyes and mouth wide open.

Edward's face was scrunched in concentration as he stared down at where we were joined. I watched breathlessly as a bead of sweat slid down his nose and fell onto my pelvis. Jesus, he's so fucking hot. I just want to worship his body all night.

Biting my lip, I used my foot to push him away from me. Edward's eyes snapped up to mine as I scrambled to get off the bed.

"What? Did you hear something?" I shook my head as I slowly stood up in front of him, "Did you change your mi—" I cut him off as I fell to my knees in front of him and took his dick in my mouth. "Mmmm." He grumbled, his hand lifting to scratch the back of his head. "Bella, you don't have to…" He whispered, running the fingers of his other hand through my sweaty hair. I moaned around his dick and watched as his head fell back with a groan. That shut him up.

Taking in the taste of our mixed sex on his dick, I swallowed him down my throat and pumped the part that wouldn't fit with my fist. _This _I knew how to do _well. _Edward's head fell forward to watch me as I sucked, lapped, and slid my lips along his dick. I took this time to admire how fucking gorgeous he was. His dick was probably the biggest I've ever seen, most likely because he was a man, and not a little boy like I was used to.

I could feel his balls tightening as I watched his abs clench and unclench. His dick got impossibly hard just as his hips started jerking forward and backward wildly. I looked up through my lashes to watch Edward's face scrunch up as he came, his hot seed shooting down the back of my throat. I tried not to gag as a little came into contact with my tongue, but it was impossible. Cum is probably the worst thing I had ever tasted, and I had tasted plenty of nasty things… my father's cooking for one.

I let Edward's softening dick slip out of my mouth as I swallowed repeatedly, trying not to gag.

_Well… _I thought smugly, _that got out of hard real fast._

Edward's hands caressed my face softly before he yanked me up from under my arms and pressed his lips to mine. I was startled when his tongue pressed into my mouth and probed around, softly twining with mine before he set me down on my feet.

"Wow…" He sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "That was… wow." I smirked up at him and wrapped my arms around his waist, kissing his ribs softly.

"It was." I sighed, feathering my fingers down his spine. Edward pulled his swollen bottom lip between his teeth as he looked down at me, his fingers combing through my messy hair.

"We should really go to sleep now." He said softly, "We've already pushed our luck enough." I nodded, pressing another kiss into his ribs. Edward chuckled as he watched me push my tank top down over my boobs and then gave my ass a little swat as I bent over the bed to search for my sleep shorts.

My breath caught in my throat as he pressed his naked pelvis against my ass and bent over me, his hand cupping my throat and turning my face towards his.

"Next time I take you." He whispered against my cheek, "I'll have you in this position so I can bounce that sexy ass against my pelvis." I shuddered as I felt his fingers slip inside me. And then I was flat on my back again with his face buried between my legs.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

The next morning I woke up fully clothed and tucked into my bed. Sitting up, I saw that Brody was sprawled out on Edward's bed and the sheets next to him were rumpled and empty.

I crept out of bed quietly and into the bathroom to take a shower before anyone saw me. Glancing in the mirror, I gasped at my reflection. My hair was snarled and greasy, my lips were tingling and swollen, and my nipples were bright red and sore from abuse.

It was confirmed. Fuckfest 2011 wasn't just a wet dream. I scrambled into the shower and lathered myself up, my face almost split in half by my monstrous smile. Holy fuck! Wait until Angela hears about this! I fucked my dad's best friend… twice!

A knock on the bathroom door startled me, and then it was swung open. I covered my chest and crotch as the shower curtain was flung open. Edward stood outside the shower, his eyes scanning up and down my body.

"Fuck, you look good." He groaned, his hands finding my slippery hips. "C'mere." He said, pulling me forward for a kiss. Our lips crashed together as his hand grabbed ahold of my boob and his other slid down my body and cupped my crotch.

He yanked me out of the shower quickly and sat my ass on the counter, soaking wet. I panted as he pried my legs open and started sucking on my clit. His tongue made quick work of me as I came apart on his mouth, cumming faster than I ever have before.

Edward wiped his mouth and took a step back, smirking. "I just wanted one for the road." And then he left me sitting there on the counter, legs trembling. At least now I know that I didn't take advantage of him last night.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

We all waited downstairs together for the valets to pull up with our cars. I watched as the valet drove up in a silver Range Rover and handed Edward the keys. I could see the scratch marks I had made on his back as his shoulders shifted in the tank top he was wearing.

Our black Tahoe pulled up right behind his truck and dad accepted the keys from the valet.

I bit my lip as I watched dad help Edward heft his luggage into the back of his truck. He's leaving. The realization that I wasn't going to be seeing him for a while filled my stomach with dread.

I hugged Brody goodbye and helped him strap himself into his seatbelt, then went around the other side of the car to kiss Gavin's head after Edward finished strapping him into his car seat. As my lips brushed Gavin's sweet-smelling head, a hand reached out and squeezed my ass. Trying not to react, I turned around and fixed Edward with a glare.

"My parents are on the other side of the car." I growled quietly. Edward shrugged unapologetically and looked down my shirt. My lips quirked into a smirk, and my arms extended towards him for a hug. His arms slowly slid around my body, pressing and rubbing my boobs into his chest.

I stood up on my tiptoes, trying to make this less-than-innocent hug look casual. My lips touched his ear as I whispered into it.

"I won't be 16 forever…" I sighed, my hands quickly combing through the hair at the nape of his neck. "Tell me you'll come for me when I turn 18."

Edward quickly pulled away from me, his eyebrows raised. Clearly this was just a one-time thing for him. He didn't expect anything else other than a quick fuck from his best friend's underage daughter. He shook his head at me and wordlessly walked away to say goodbye to my parents.

My face crumpled as I hurried to the Tahoe. I threw the door open and scrambled into my seat, holding in the sobs I so desperately wanted to let out. I furiously wiped the tears that fell from my eyes as I watched Edward embrace my dad with the arms that had held me as I bounced on his dick, then kiss my mom's cheek with the lips that sucked and licked at my clit. My stomach tightened at the memory.

I watched as he glanced back at our car quickly before hopping into the driver's seat of his truck. His engine started, and then he pulled away. I watched his taillights as he drove off back to Atlanta… back to his wife.

How could I have let this happen?

How did I let myself fall in love with the one guy I could never have?

* * *

**Dawww poor slutty Bella. At least she knows he doesn't regret tapping that ass… and she also knows that he really likes going down. That's a good characteristic to have.**

**Anywaysss, thanks everyone for reading, I hope you all have a fun Father's Day and really get to appreciating DILFs like Bella just did! Question: what did you guys get/do for your dad for Father's day?**

**See you Tuesday!**

**XOXO**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hayyyyy.**

Happy Tuesday! See, the wait wasn't that bad was it? I know it's like 12 am Eastern time right now and it still seems like Monday… but it's technically Tuesday. Sorry, I'm a little eager. Again, thanks to everyone who reviewed! I had a super fun time responding to all of them! I hope you guys don't think I'm crazy based off of how I come off in my messages! XD

Anyways, enjoy!

**Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight series characters. But the plot is mine.**

* * *

"So then you guys just had sex?" Angela asked, her elbows resting on the cafeteria table casually. But I knew she was anything but casual. She was pissed.

"Well, yeah." I sighed, picking the sandwich my dad had packed me for lunch to pieces. "I don't even know where it came from… He just kind of attacked me, really…" Angela scowled at me. "But it was so intense, Ang. It didn't even compare to Riley." Angela rolled her eyes and pressed her lips into a hard line.

"Of course it didn't compare to Riley. This dude is 29! Tweeennty-niiiiiiine, Bella. I'm sure he's been with a ton of women, especially going off what your dad said about him." I shrugged, looking down at my decimated sandwich.

"His age doesn't bother me, really. Plus he like, got married at 19 so he couldn't have gone through that many girls…" Angela let out a huff at that.

"Don't even, we all know college boys are sluts. Especially _hot _college boys. And his age doesn't bother you? Really? He's way too old to even be looking at you, Bella! Let alone having sex with you! He's a creep! And don't even get me started on the fact that he had sex with you with his sleeping kids in the same room! What if they woke up and saw?" I bit my lip and shrugged again.

"They didn't, so..." Angela lifted her eyebrow and leaned back against the wall beside our lunch table with a grumble. "Honestly, it really doesn't matter anymore. He's not interested in pursuing anything with me. It was just sex, and its never happening again. So we can stop talking about this now."

"Stop talking about what?" Jessica asked as she dropped her tray next to mine and sat down next to me. My eyes watered as the sickly sweet scented cloud that always seemed to follow her around overwhelmed my senses. My god, she wears too fucking much perfume.

"Oh, just about my new crush." Angela said, pulling a tight smile. Sheesh, she's a saint for taking the bullet for me. If Jess heard the real story it would be spread around the school by the end of the day. Now everyone's going to know all about Ang's new crush.

"Oooo!" Lauren exclaimed, sitting so close to Angela that their shoulders brushed. "Spill! I want the deets!" I suppressed a smile as Angela scooted over a little bit. Lauren had a habit of invading personal space; sometimes I felt like she was sitting in my lap she was that close to me.

Angela, Lauren, Jessica, and I had been friends since elementary school. We had deemed ourselves the fearsome foursome and did everything together. Even though the twins— Jess and Laur—had their quirks, I didn't hold it against them. They were like sisters to me, so I saw past the haze of intense perfume and personal space issues.

While Angela dished on her fake crush, I glanced around the cafeteria and smiled at the few guys who caught my eye and waved. I certainly wasn't lacking suitors… its just that they were no longer what I wanted.

I wanted almost thirty covered in tattoos. I can just picture him now…

Jessica's elbow nudging me brought me out of my trance. I glanced over at her and muttered "what?"

"I was just asking you how your trip to Disney went." She laughed, popping a goldfish into her mouth.

"It went okay." I replied dismissively. Jess made a face at me like what I said to her wasn't enough, so I continued. "Obviously I would have rather been here with you guys. I'm so sad to have missed Ang's party. We'll have to make up for it this weekend." Lauren smiled at me from across the table. I always became alarmed when she did that. I don't know why people get those clear braces; it just makes them look like they have weird bumpy teeth.

"Vanessa told me that Emmett's throwing a huge party at his uncle's house after the football game Friday. You know, that house on Old Road. His uncle is loaded and is buying us kegs!" I raised my eyebrows and nodded. "But you can't talk about it to anyone, they don't want the cops to find out…" Jessica trailed off at the end of her sentence like she was just realizing whom she was talking to. "I'm sorry Bella… I didn't mean to, um, like offend you."

"Its okay, Jess." I laughed, patting her back. "I'm not upset. I'll make sure my dad doesn't know about the party. And if they do break it up, he'll make sure we don't get in trouble." Jessica gave me a hesitant smile.

"Wow, okay, yeah. That'd be so cool of you. I mean, cops down here… well like they have hardly anything to do… no offense. But like, I've heard of them giving out citations at parties and I wouldn't want to get in trouble."

"Shut up, Jess." Lauren laughed, throwing a piece of popcorn at her. "Its just Bella. She knows you have a big mouth with no filter. You're killing me over here with all your nervous ramblings."

"You shut up, horse mouth. You're the one who has the big fucking mouth… LITERALLY." Jessica bit back. She was so red she looked like a tomato.

I watched the two of them bicker back and forth like I was watching a tennis match. I don't know what it is about twins, but they really have no patience for each other. It makes me glad that I don't have any siblings. I don't even know how these two live in the same house, let alone share the same fucking room. Sheesh.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Later that week, I found myself eavesdropping on my parents again. I don't know whether it was because I was actually interested in what they had to say or because I was hoping to find something out about Edward.

"Fuck, Ney. You gotta stop wearing those yoga pants. You know what they do to me, babe." Dad groaned, and I heard the distinctive sound of him smacking mom's ass. Ew, fucking nasty!

"Ahhh! Charlie, stop! You're such a caveman! Bella's home, you know?" Yeah, tell him to fucking stop. I'm about to throw up out here hearing all of this shit.

"This is my house. Let Bella walk in, I don't care." Jesus, what the hell am I listening to? If I don't hear anything about Edward in the next minute I'm going back upstairs.

"Save all of this passion for tonight, baby." Ew, I don't want to hear this shit. I'm out. I need to beat the memory of this conversation out of my brain. This is almost as bad as the time I walked in on my grandparents making out in the kitchen.

"By the way, have you heard from Edward, honey?" Mom asked. I stopped retreating and immediately turned around. Never mind looks like I'm staying.

"I actually just got off the phone with him." Dad replied, "His divorce should be finalized in a few months or so. Tanya really hasn't put up much of a fight. They just argued a little bit about a few custody issues and the ownership of one of the cars." Mom hummed in response.

"Interesting." She said, "I wonder what the bitch has planned." Dad laughed and I could hear the clanking of dishes as they cleaned the kitchen together.

"Who knows, Ney. I'm just glad he's going to be free of her. Maybe we'll see more of him after she's no longer playing mind games with him and keeping him away from his friends and family."

"I still can't believe that." Mom sighed, "I don't know how someone can be so manipulative."

"Tell me about it." Dad grumbled. "You know, he mentioned moving down to Miami quite a few times to me on the phone earlier. I really think he's considering it." My heart sped up. Oh my god… he'd be so much closer to me now.

"Oh that's great, honey! I'm sure Carlisle and Esme would love that!" She paused for a second, "But who knows how Tanya will take that. Passing two kids back and forth between two states is going to be difficult."

"They'll make it work. I have faith in Edward…" Dad trailed off. After a pregnant pause he started talking again, very excitedly. "You know, I almost forgot. He's planning to come down this weekend for a boys fishing trip. Just him, Tanya will have the kids." My mouth dried up. Holy fucking shit.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier!" Mom cried, "The house is a mess and now I have to clean all of it before he gets here!"

"Relax Renee, its just Edward. He doesn't care."

"Well he might not care, but I do! I wont have my house looking like a pig sty while we have a guest over!" I chuckled and hurried up the stairs.

When I was locked up in my room, I flung myself across my bed and grabbed my cell phone.

_Omg, Ang. He's going to be down here this wknd!_

Angela's response was instantaneous.

_**DILF?**_

I chuckled and typed back.

_Yes! OMG._

_**Where is he going to stay?**_

_My house!_

_**Brown chicken, brown cow!**_

_Wtf? What do farm animals have to do with this?_

_**Just say it out loud, dork.**_

_LOLOLOLOL. I just died._

_**(; (:**_

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * * **

Before I knew it, it was Friday. I could hardly stand to just chill at school knowing that at any moment Edward would be arriving at my house. Why the hell did I commit to going to this stupid party tonight?

"Bella, what's wrong?" Lauren's voice startled me… mostly because she was so fucking close to me so suddenly and partially because she spoke really loudly in my ear.

"What? Nothing!" I replied reflexively. Lauren squinted her eyes at me, appearing to be trying to figure me out.

"You just seem really distracted lately. What gives? Is something going on that I don't know about?" I bit my lip and considered letting her in on what was going on. She definitely wasn't as big of a gossip as Jessica… But in all honestly I trusted her with my secrets as far as I could throw her. And I couldn't throw her very far at all… Her and Jess were the tallest girls at our school and are jacked from years of Volleyball and track.

"No, I'm just thinking about the test I have next period." Lauren frowned but seemed to accept my answer… for now.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

When the bell rang, dismissing us from school, I practically ran from where I was waiting in the pod and out into the out door hallway. I took the stairs two at a time as I hurried to beat the rush of students leaving the parking lot. I nearly took out Mrs. Rivers as she was leaving her post—a little school desk that she manned during first period, lunch hours, and last period—by the front office. Serves her right, she's a cranky old bitch and she was in my way.

Thankfully my car wasn't very far back in the parking lot, so I was able to leave before everyone else even got to their cars. I pulled onto US1 and gunned it, trying to make it home as quick as possible.

Northbound traffic wasn't too bad, so I made it home in about 10 minutes. But still, despite my efforts I had definitely not made it in record time.

Letting out a huff of distress, I slammed my hands on my steering wheel and threw my car in reverse. Edward's stupid Range Rover was parked in my spot. I parked on the street to avoid being blocked in by mom when she got home from work.

"Bella, is that you?" Dad called from upstairs as I walked through the front door. My heart jumped to my throat as I spied Edward reclined on the couch with his arms covering his face. His shirt was slightly pulled up, exposing a strip of taught skin in between the shirt's hem and the top of his shorts. I want to run my tongue over that skin.

"No!" I called back, "It's Mila Kunis!" Dad quickly descended the stairs with a smile on his face.

"Well, you could have fooled me." He laughed, wrapping me up in a hug and kissing my forehead. "How was school, Belly?" I glanced at Edward from over his shoulder; he was sitting up on the couch now looking very disheveled.

"So fun." I replied sarcastically, "I learned so much." Dad just laughed and shoved me towards the stairs.

"You going to the football game tonight?" He asked, scratching the back of his head.

"Uhh, yeah. I'm picking up Ang and the twins. Why?" Dad just nodded and glanced down at Edward quickly.

"Just wondering. I think Edward and I are going to check it out." I nodded, trying to appear casual.

"Cool." I responded, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. "I'm just gonna…" I motioned towards the stairs before turning to make my way to my room.

"Bella…" Dad called out, making me pause. "Can I just… can I just talk to you for a sec?" My eyes snapped to Edward quickly. Did he tell him? Oh fuck, this could end up being really awkward.

"Yeah sure…" I sighed, my hand tightening on the bannister. Dad nodded, and waved me off dismissively.

"I'll be up in a minute, baby." Fuck. Fuckity fuck. What the hell does he want to talk to me about that it needs to be said in private? I really hope Edward didn't get all guilty and confess his sins, or whatever. He's still alive, so that's a good sign, yeah?

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Alone in my room, I found myself pacing back and forth impatiently. If dad's going to come up here and punish me he needs to stop taking his sweet ass time delaying it.

On what had to be my 12th pass, dad pushed open my bedroom door gently and swaggered in. I frowned at the way he was walking and stopped my pacing to sit down at my desk. Swiveling my chair to face him, I prepared for the worst.

"Baby girl." Dad sighed, "Do you have anything to tell me?" My heart jumped into my throat. Oh fuck, he knows. Better play it innocent, though… I'm not about to admit to it too quick.

"What do you mean, Daddy?" I asked, twisting my fingers together on my lap. Dad leveled me with a look that said: fess up already.

"You know what I'm talking about, Bella. I know you know about it. Jess and Lauren's parents were the ones who called me to tip me off about it." That's when it dawned on me. Oh shit! He's talking about the party!

"Um, well… I was planning to go and not drink, daddy. I just wanted to go with my friends, you know that I'm responsible." Dad's eyebrows squished together.

"I know, baby girl. But… I just don't feel comfortable with you going to some keg party that I know for a fact is being raided. Please, just stay home tonight. This party isn't worth getting in trouble for." I fixed dad with a look of undisguised hatred.

"Why do you guys have to ruin my fun?" I cried, "It's not fair! Jess is _so _right! Cops down here don't have anything better to do than raid our parties and _ruin our lives_!" Dad groaned and covered his ears.

"How did I know you were going to react like this? I miss it when you were a little girl who was content to play Barbie's all day." I scoffed at him and stood up.

"You can leave now." I stated, gesturing to my door. Dad stood and pinched his lips together. He didn't look happy.

"I swear, Isabella. If you go to that party I won't do anything to help you and your friends. I'll let you; hell I'll _make sure _you get a citation. Don't push me, young lady, I'm not joking with you. Your car better be in the driveway a half an hour after that game ends or you're grounded." I pouted, feeling scolded. Dad never raised his voice at me or threatened me. It was usually mom who did all of that.

"Fine." I huffed, "But don't expect me to be happy about it." Dad rolled his eyes and headed out my bedroom door grumbling something about me being ungrateful.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"Hey!" Lauren yelled, "Down in front! Stupid fuck!" I laughed from my spot next to her on the bleachers as the freshman boy in front of us quickly sat back down on the bleachers. Stupid kid.

"You don't have to be so vulgar all the time, Laur." Angela sighed, looking up from the book in her hands. She wasn't a sports fan at all. She just came to the games because we enjoyed them.

"They don't listen unless you insult them." Lauren replied with a shrug. "I had no choice."

"God." Jess sighed, looking off in the direction of the concession stand with a weird look on her face. "Rosalie Hale is honestly unreal. How did she get so perfect?" I looked off in the direction that Jess was staring and saw Rosalie leaning up against a chain-link fence with her younger brother Jasper, watching the game. They were probably the most beautiful people at our school. I had never really had a conversation with either of them since they moved here, she was a senior and although Jasper was a junior, like me and my friends, he hung out with all of the older kids.

"They're just regular people." Angela replied, "I talk to Rose all the time in my pottery class. She's actually really nice. She invited me to dinner at her house one time." Jess's eyes snapped towards Angela in disbelief, and although Lauren was completely entranced by the game she tilted her head to signal that she was listening.

"It was no big deal." Angela sighed, putting down her book. "I just met her parents and Jay. We had homemade sushi, watched the Bachelorette with her mom, and then I went home."

"Jay?" Jess asked, alarmed. "Jay?" She repeated.

"Yes…" Angela trailed off.

"You mean Jasper? Jasper Hale?" Angela nodded. "What the fuck? Why didn't you tell us?" Angela just shrugged.

"It wasn't a big deal! Rose and I text all the time, I honestly thought you guys knew we were friends!" Jess scoffed and Lauren actually tore her eyes away from the game and laughed.

"If we knew you guys were friends, heffer over here wouldn't be flipping her shit right now!" Lauren exclaimed.

"Sorry." Angela sighed, "I didn't know I had to tell you guys who I talked to. I'll keep that in mind next time I meet someone new."

"FUCK." Jess exclaimed, squirming in her seat. "Fuck, do I look good? Fuck!" I gave her a startled look and followed her gaze, right to my dad… and Edward.

"You look like a fat whore." Lauren responded dryly, "As per usual." Jess slapped the back of Lauren's head before pulling out her phone to check her appearance through the front camera.

"Bella?" Jess asked, worked up. "Who the fuck is that guy with your dad? He's fucking HOT." Both Angela and Lauren sat up to watch my dad pass by with Edward hot on his heels. He looked so fucking hot in his gray v-neck t-shirt and distressed jeans that hugged his ass just right.

"That's Edward." I replied, my mouth dry. "He's my dad's best friend."

"What the hell? Why haven't we seen him before?" Jess asked, all huffy. _Back off bitch, he's mine._

"He lives in Atlanta." I replied reflexively as I watched him ascend the bleachers a ways away from us. His long, lean body folded up as he sat himself next to my dad. I want to be that bleacher, just so I can hold up that ass.

I'm a pervert.

"He kind of looks like Ben Affleck." Angela said, running her fingers through her hair.

"He does!" Jess cried. Lauren glanced over at him and shrugged.

"He's hotter than Ben Affleck, Jess." Lauren said casually, looking back at the field. "Especially if he has a southern accent."

"Nope." I laughed, trying to pretend that I wasn't bothered by them checking Edward out. "No southern accent, sorry." Jess shrugged and glanced back at him wistfully.

"Who cares?" She laughed, "Is he single?"

"He's getting divorced." I responded, looking towards the field to distract myself.

"You think he'll be interested in me, Bella? I think I'm gonna go say hi to the Chief and introduce myself." I watched as Jess stood up and adjusted her shorts. Being almost 6 foot tall, she had long legs and the shorts she was wearing only enhanced them.

I shrugged, Edward would definitely _look._ But I wasn't about to tell her that.

"I don't think so. He's 29, he's not interested in a high school girlfriend." Jess just shrugged and bounded down the bleachers. I watched, with a frown on my face, as Jess approached Edward and my dad. My fists clenched as Jess extended her hand and Edward grasped it and shook it.

My eyes shot to Angela's when her elbow nudged me in the ribs. She shook her head at me, her brow wrinkled. I was acting like a freak.

"Sorry." I mouthed to her, lifting my shoulder apologetically as I turned back to look at the field. We were losing. I flicked my eyes over in Edward's direction and saw that Jess was gone.

Hmmm, where did she go?

Not 5 minutes later she was ascending the bleachers with a smile on her face. Huffing, with pink cheeks, she sat down in front of me and collapsed backwards onto my legs.

"Uhhngg, Bella." Jess groaned, "Your dad's bestie is a DILF. You gotta hook it up for me!"

"Ha ha." I responded. But I really wanted to say: Over my dead body.

* * *

**If you don't think Ben Affleck's hot… then fuck you.**

…

Sorry about that. I went a little Ricky Bobby on you guys there.

You don't have to think Ben's hot… or chew Big Red. But still, _my _DILF Edward looks like Ben Affleck… But without the veneers. He has perfect teeth without any sort of dental surgery. Because perfect Edward is perfect.

**Question: **who is watching the Bachelorette? And which guy is your favorite?

Anyways, I'll be posting the next chapter on Friday! See you then!

xoxo


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! TGIF, right?**

So, sorry about how long it took me to post this. I know Friday is nearly over! But I've been swamped with all these stupid, time-consuming tasks at my internship and I needed a nap once I got home.

Anyways, onwards!

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR A REASON!**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight series characters. I own the plot. **

* * *

"Bella!" Jess whined. "Are you sure I can't spend the night? I mean, _come on!_" She gave me a look like I should know what she was talking about. I could definitely read the subtext underneath all the pleading, but the fuck if I was going to let her roam around my house with Edward sleeping just down the hall.

"I'm sorry Jess. But my dad said that nobody was allowed to stay over tonight." Jess pouted and stomped her foot.

"But _Bella!_" Jess cried, motioning over my shoulder with her chin. My dad and Edward stood a ways behind us, socializing with a few of the parents.

"I know, Jess. But I can't change my dad's mind." Jess sighed dramatically and stormed off. Whatever. She'll get over herself eventually.

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked out towards the field. I could see Angela standing out there with Rosalie as they chatted with Emmett and Ben. I know for a fact that Ang is obsessed with Ben Cheney, so if being friends with Rosalie gets her what she wants then I'm all for the friendship. I don't understand why Jess and Lauren are all freaked out by it all. Rosalie seems normal enough to me.

"What was that about?" came a deep voice from behind me. He was standing so close to me that when I jerked in surprise, my ass bumped into his thighs.

Spinning around, I glared up into Edward's pale green eyes. "Warn me that you're there next time! I almost peed my pants! And what was what about?" Edward crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged.

"That little altercation between you and Thing 1." My eyebrows shot up into my hairline. Thing 1, huh? So I guess she didn't make too much of an impression on him since he couldn't even remember her name.

"Thing 1?" I asked, digging to see if my theory was right. Edward frowned at me and scratched the back of his head.

"You know, one of the twins you hang out with? Jennifer or whatever her name is." I smiled internally. I love being right.

"Oh, it was nothing…" just her wanting to molest you in your sleep. Edward squinted his eyes at me thoughtfully.

"It didn't looking like nothing." He responded, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"Okay… it was something that she will get over quickly." I quipped. "Why do you care anyways?" Edward bit his lip and looked away, his eyes scanning over the football field behind me.

"I don't." He responded, shrugging. "We should get going. Your dad doesn't want to linger around here too long." I frowned at him and followed him as he headed out to the parking lot.

"Where is he, anyways?" I asked, practically running beside him to keep up with his long strides.

"He's waiting in my truck." Owch, he's so cold.

"Hey." I said, grabbing ahold of his forearm. Edward stopped walking to look down at me. "What's wrong?" Edward just huffed and yanked his arm out of my hand. Fuck, cold _and _rude.

"I don't know what's wrong with you," I called after him, "but you really need to get laid or something." Edward's head snapped around to glare at me before he jogged over to his truck.

Well. It was worth a shot.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

I lay awake in bed, just listening. The guest room was at the end of the hallway, just a door down from my room.

I heard his heavy footsteps come up the stairs and take him down the hallway to his room around a half an hour ago. I wonder what he's doing in there?

I almost jumped out of my skin as I heard the water start up. Well then, he's taking a shower.

Leaning back in my bed, I could just imagine what he looked like in that shower. His face upturned into the spray… water running in rivulets down his perfect torso.

Fuck. I'm so fucking horny right now.

I wonder if he's in there… touching himself…? That would be the hottest thing to ever happen under this roof. I bet he is. Don't most guys masturbate in the shower?

The need to go check was becoming more and more urgent. He doesn't need to masturbate in this house when I'm perfectly willing to help him out.

I quickly got out of bed and turned on my lights. I need to make sure I look good before I attempt this. Just as I was finishing fixing my hair, the water turned off. I pouted as I heard the shower curtain sliding against the rod. There goes my plan.

I threw myself across my bed with a groan. How am I going to get a repeat performance? What the hell did I do to get him to fuck me the first time?

I lay back on my bed and stared at my ceiling. Listening to the creeks and groans of my old house. I could hear Edward rustling around in the guest room. The walls between us were so thin.

Sitting up straight, I ran my fingers through my hair nervously. If I can hear him… he must be able to hear me. I quickly shut off the lights and unlocked my door. I really hope this works.

Lying back in my bed, I closed my eyes and placed my hands on top of my chest. My mind immediately conjured up the images of Edward leaning over me, his hands stuffed up my tank top. God that was hot.

I whipped my shirt over my head quickly and palmed my boobs as I lay back down. God this isn't going to work. It doesn't even feel all that good. I licked my fingers and then brought them back to my nipples. Mmmm, that feels much better.

With my eyes closed, I remembered how sexy Edward's eyes looked as he stared up at me while his mouth devoured my nipples. My stomach clenched as I let out a soft moan. What I wouldn't do to have him here, doing that to me again.

Every stroke of my finger over my nipple was a swipe of his tongue. Every pinch was the bite of his teeth. Every pull was the suck of his mouth. I crossed my legs as my back arched off the bed, my room filled with the sounds of my panting.

I rubbed my legs together, seeking some sort of friction. My core felt heated and was aching for release. But I refused to touch my pussy. I wanted Edward to come and do it for me.

I couldn't hear anything from the room next door. He wasn't coming. Feeling disappointed, I dropped my hands from my chest and turned onto my side. Clenching my eyes shut tightly, I focused on willing myself to go to sleep. But the throbbing of my clit kept me up.

"Fuck!" I growled, flipping onto my back and throwing my arm over my face. Why did I get myself so worked up? Seeing no other solution, I yanked my sleep pants off and spread my legs. My middle finger immediately found my clit and started rubbing in the routine way that I masturbate.

As my eyes shut, the image of Edward's face buried between my legs flashed behind my lids. I threw my head back and moaned, knowing my parents couldn't hear me from their room downstairs. My finger didn't stop its rubbing as I rocked my pelvis into my hand; biting my lip so hard I tasted blood. In the back of my mind I acknowledged the sound of someone letting out a loud groan from the other room, but I was too gone to even let it bother me.

Sweat was building on my chest, forearms, and my back so I threw my thick duvet off of me and lay back against the pillows. Clenching my eyes shut, I turned my face into the pillows and let out a muffled moan as my fingers continued their rubbing. God, I'm so fucking turned on. I just want to go in there and fuck him already.

That thought made me stop my rubbing. Why not just go in there and fuck him? Emboldened, I scrambled off of my bed and hurried to the door. I threw it open and then fell back onto my ass in surprise.

Edward was standing on the other side. His posture was stiff as he leaned against the doorframe. The way his pale green eyes scrutinized me made me realize that I was naked. My hands quickly went to cover myself.

Edward chuckled at that as he strode into the room and shut the door behind him. "Now you're shy." He laughed while pushing in the lock.

I gulped as I watched him pull his shirt over his head. God he's so fucking hot. And he's here. Finally, he's here.

I had to spin around and face the other way to continue watching him as he strode towards my bed. My mouth popped open as he slid his sleep pants off and revealed that he was going commando underneath.

My forehead wrinkled in confusion as he lay back on the bed, his dick hard against his stomach. He crossed his ankles casually and put his hands behind his neck. What the fuck is he doing?

"Well?" He asked, cockily, "isn't this what you wanted?" I frowned at his tone. "Come get me, Bella." Edward laughed; wiggling his hips and making his dick bounce around. God he is such an asshole! If I weren't so desperately horny I'd throw him out of my room. But that wasn't an option right now.

I could see that he expected me to go right up to him and sit on his dick. But I wasn't about to give in so quickly to his desires. He had to please me first.

I stood up quickly and crawled onto the bed. Edward's hands reached out for me as my legs straddled his waist but I slapped them away. He seemed confused as I continued crawling up his body.

My hands reached out to grab onto the headboard as I settled myself over him. Gripping the wood tightly, I lowered myself onto his face.

"Mmmphh." Edward said into my pussy as his hands lifted up to hold onto my hips. He pushed me up a little and I shot my eyes down to look at him. He was smiling up at me, his lips glistening with my arousal.

"I see." He laughed, flitting his tongue out to taste his lips. "You want a kiss." My mouth fell open as Edward dragged his tongue over my heated flesh.

"Yessss." I hissed out, staring down at him with hooded eyes.

"You've been a bad girl, Bella." Edward murmured, sucking the skin of my inner thigh into his mouth.

"Edward, please." I groaned, my legs shaking desperately.

"I should punish you. I should just leave you here, wanting me." I gasped as Edward's tongue flicked out and swirled around my clit before retreating. "But your pretty little pussy tastes so good, I just can't resist."

I was then flipped onto my back. God, he's good at that.

"As much as I liked the sight of you sitting on my face." Edward murmured as he kissed the skin of my stomach, "I'd rather spread you open like this and feast on you."

My eyes slammed shut as Edward manhandled my legs until they were spread and resting over his shoulders. His lips didn't tease me with kisses this time; they went straight to where I wanted them to go.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed as he sucked my clit into his mouth, "I've been— unnfff— thinking about this—mmmm— since you last did this." Edward hummed against my clit and sucked on it hard before releasing it slowly.

"Do you like it, Bella?" Edward murmured, reaching his tongue out to tickle my clit teasingly. "Do you like it when I eat your pussy?" I sat up to look down at him, my bottom lip pinched between my teeth.

"You must." He said, thoughtfully. "Because you're so wet right now." I let out a whimper as Edward's finger entered me slowly. "Is this all for me?" Edward asked, licking his lips as he watched his finger pump in and out of me slowly.

I just stared down at him, my mouth open and my eyes hooded. How the fuck am I supposed to fuck anyone else after him? He's ruined me. Even his fingering is better than any sex I had with Riley.

"Is it?" Edward asked again, "Is this all for me, Bella? Is this pussy mine?" I opened my eyes and stared down at him intensely. He wants me to answer him? I don't think I can even speak right now.

"Mmmmm." I moaned as he pulled his finger out, turned his wrist over, and then pressed his finger back in. "Unnnnfff, yessss. It's yoursss."

"That's right." Edward replied sharply. "Now what do you want, Bella?" Isn't it fucking obvious? I was just sitting on your face!

"A kiss." I bit out, too embarrassed to tell him to eat me out.

"Alright." Edward said, chuckling to himself, as he started moving up my body. No! What the fuck! I released my grip on the sheets and pressed my hand into his chest to push him back down. "No?" Edward laughed, smiling down at me.

"Not on the mouth." I groaned, lifting my hips to rub myself into the hand that he still had buried inside me.

I could feel Edward shifting down my body again as his finger continued to pump in and out of me. God I just want to cum. I need to cum.

"You want a kiss here?" Edward asked, kissing my right hipbone.

"No…" I sighed, lifting my hips and bumping him in the neck with my pelvic bone. Take the hint! I know that you understand what I want.

"Then you want a kiss here." Edward murmured, his lips pressing down on the skin of my inner thigh.

"Unnnf, no, Edward. Quit teasing." Edward chuckled and rearranged my legs so they were spread open as wide as they would go and laying flat on the mattress. I could feel his breath hitting me with every exhale.

"Look at me, Bella." Edward murmured. I peeled my eyes open and sat up on my elbows to look down at him. "Do you want me to kiss you, Bella?" I nodded, biting down on my bottom lip. "Do you want me to eat that pretty pussy?" I let out a soft moan. Fuck, he has such a dirty mouth. It's so fucking hot.

"Yesssss." I breathed, my chest heaving. Edward laid the side of his face on my thigh and looked up at me through his dark lashes as he slowly extended his tongue. My breath hitched as ran the flat of his tongue up the entire expanse of my pussy. My legs quivered as he did it again and again, the strength and speed of his licks increasing steadily.

"Oh god!" I cried out, as Edward switched from lapping at me to flicking my clit up and down and then from side to side rapidly. I forced my eyes open and watched as Edward moved his head around, his eyes closed. Oh my god, that's so fucking hot.

"Hmmm." He hummed as his mouth opened around my clit and applied a little suction while his tongue continued to flutter against it wildly. My knees flinched, wanting so badly to clamp shut around his head to keep him there forever. Edward sat up a little as he pressed his finger into me and curled it upwards.

"Fuck!" I groaned, falling back onto the bed as he flicked against a spot inside me that made me feel so good and like I had to pee really bad simultaneously. Edward kept making these grumbling sounds as he sucked and licked at me, like he was some sort of animal. If I weren't so blissed out I would have made fun of him.

Heat started building inside of me as I rocked my pelvis against his face and hand. My body jerked with need as Edward's mouth left me, but then tightened up again as his thumb replaced his tongue. All I could hear was the erratic pounding of my heart, my harsh panting, and the wet noises my body made as Edward played with me.

Edward was so quiet.

I cracked my eyes open and watched as he stared down intensely at what he was doing between my legs. But, like he could feel my gaze on him, his eyes shot up to my face. He bit his lip as he crawled up my body and laid at my side, his hand still flicking and rubbing me. My eyes rolled back as he pumped his finger in and out of me a few more times before he pushed in another finger and curled them upwards to flick at that delicious spot.

Edward's face nuzzled the side of mine as he slipped his other arm under my head, cushioning my neck with his bicep. I turned my face towards him, my lips blindly seeking out his. Our open mouths met, his still wet with my juices. My legs clamped around his hand as his thumb pressed down hard on my clit, making me moan into his mouth.

"Open up, baby." Edward murmured against my lips. "Let me play with that pretty pussy." My legs fell open again as I gasped for breath against his soft lips. He called me baby.

Edward nuzzled my cheek with his nose and pressed a wet kiss against my jaw. His lips trailed down my neck, sucked at my collarbone, and then attached themselves to my hard nipple. I let out a gasp as he sucked one, and then leaned over my body to flick his tongue over the other.

"Mmmm," Edward mumbled, swirling his tongue around my areola. "You have perfect tits." My stomach clenched at his words, and I could feel my orgasm quickly approaching. Edward increased the speed of his thumb and fingers inside me.

"Does that feel good?" He whispered, his nose back to nuzzling my cheek and wet lips pressing against my jaw.

"Mmmm, yeah! So good! Unnf, so good!" I cried, rocking my hips against his hand as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over me. _I'm gonna pee myself, _I kept thinking as the need to pee started to become overwhelming. But Edward kept flicking his fingers over that spot and it felt _so_ good.

"Come on, baby. Squirt for me." Edward moaned, leaning down to flick his tongue against my nipples again.

"Oh fuck!" Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck! I'm about to cum, but I need to pee! Right as I was about to fall over the edge, Edward's fingers pressed down hard on that spot inside me, pushing me over the edge. He then pulled his fingers out of me quickly and pressed the wet digits down on my clit, rubbing vigorously as I came harder than I ever had before.

My hips fell back down onto the bed as my orgasm finished, my body still shaking with pleasure. I opened my eyes to see Edward leaning over me with a huge, cocky smile on his face.

"I made you squirt." He stated, licking his lips as his eyes glanced down at my crotch.

"What?" I replied, still breathless. My legs shifted on the bed and then recoiled when they encountered a huge wet spot.

"EW!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around my knees. "I peed!" Edward chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my shoulder softly.

"No. I made you squirt. It's not pee, its some other fluid." I wrinkled my nose and turned my face towards his. "I made you cum so hard, Bella." He groaned, biting his lip. "And now I want to fuck you until you can't walk straight."

"Please." I gasped against his lips, wrapping my arms around his neck as I smashed my lips to his. Edward's tongue invaded my mouth, pumping in and out quickly as he laid me back on the bed. His hips separated my legs as he settled over me. He didn't need any encouragement as he pushed his dick into me with one smooth thrust.

"Unnnhh." I moaned, my head hitting the headboard with the force of his thrust. Edward sat up a little and grabbed onto the wood, using it for leverage as he thrust into me hard and fast. My hands released their hold on the sheets and slapped down on his back, gripping tightly. Edward's eyes scrunched shut tightly and his mouth fell slack as my nails dug into the back of his ribs, likely leaving little red crescents on his skin.

"Fuck!" He rasped from between clenched teeth as he pounded his hips into me, his face tight with concentration.

"Edward…" I breathed, my legs wrapping around his hips, "Mmmm, yeah. Right there." Edward bit his lip as he thrust into me harder, hitting that spot again.

"Right there, baby?" He asked, his voice gruff. Mid-fuck Edward sounds _so _sexy.

"Mmmm, yesss!" I cried out, reaching my hand out to cup his gorgeous face. He can't be real. This is too fucking good.

Edward pulled out of me quickly, and then laid down at my side. He turned me so I was resting on my left butt cheek and my left elbow, and pushed my knees up so that my left one was bent and resting on my bed, and my right was up in the air with my calf and foot dangling. His arm slid underneath my head to support me, and the other slid underneath my right leg to keep it up as he thrust his dick inside me.

My stomach clenched as he slid in and out of me quickly, the fingers of his hand supporting my leg finding my clit. I let myself fall back against his chest as he pounded into me, my toes curling painfully.

"Mmmm…" Edward moaned as his lips pressed a wet kiss behind my ear. Fuck, this feels so good. I turned my face and scraped my teeth over the stubble on Edward's cleft chin, making him let out another rumbling moan. So fucking sexy. Our lips found each other, open and wet as our tongues touched. His mouth tasted like toothpaste.

"I'm not going to last much longer" Edward groaned, his lips pressing a kiss into my temple.

"Cum for me, then. Cum inside me." I moaned, tilting my head awkwardly to kiss his tight jaw.

"No." He panted out, his fingers working my clit harder. "Not until you do." I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip as my head fell back onto the cushion of his muscular shoulder.

"I'm close." I sighed. Edward's fingers played with my clit harder and faster. I peeled my eyes open and flicked them down to watch what he was doing between my legs. My stomach clenched at the sight of Edward's dick disappearing inside of me and then reappearing seconds later, glistening with our shared juices. That's so fucking hot.

Heat spread along my body and all of my senses focused on one spot, the spot throbbing underneath Edward's fingers. My stomach convulsed as a shock of intense pleasure shot through me.

"Unfff, fuck Edward!" I cried, turning my face into his neck to muffle myself. Edward's hips thrust into me wildly as my walls clenched around him. He let out a string of unintelligible words, his dick becoming impossibly harder as he came inside of me.

Almost immediately after he came, he dropped my leg and rolled away from me onto his back. I lay on my side, facing away from him, as I tried to catch my breath.

"That can't happen again." Edward murmured into the darkness. My chest tightened and my eyes stung with tears. Will he ever stop hurting me? We just fucked and now he's rejecting me.

"Can't you just… let me enjoy this for a second? Can't this wait until tomorrow?" I asked, my voice trembling with emotion. I glanced over my shoulder and met his gaze, my bottom lip jutting out.

"Okay." Edward sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face. "C'mere." He whispered, a soft smile pulling on his swollen pink lips. I quickly flipped around and snuggled into his chest, a content smile spreading across my face.

I'm going to milk this for as long as I can.

* * *

**Heh heh… Bella's a squirter… Heh heh...**

**God, I sounded like Beavis and Butthead there. **

**Anywayyysss, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It's basically one giant lemon for all of you perves out there. Someone asked for EPOV, and I'm sorry to disappoint you but that isn't going to happen. This is Bella's story, and to be honest I'm not all that great at writing a guy's POV. I know his mood swings are giving you all whiplash, but ****Edward's a very complex guy! He has feelings and urges and shit. But it alllll** will be cleared up in time! 

**Expect an update on either Sunday or Monday!**

**xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey gang!**

Well, I said I was going to update on either Sunday or Monday. I was hoping to do it earlier on Sunday, but I got distracted. So you're getting it now. **IMPORTANT:** I won't be updating until next Wednesday, July 3rd, because I'm going on vacation! I hope you all don't give up on me while I'm away! I know I'll be thinking of you guys and wanting to post chapters while I'm chilling with my family in LA.

Anyways, enjoy!

**Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight series characters. I own the plot!**

* * *

"Mmmm…" I mumbled, running my nose along the skin of his sternum. I inhaled his scent, trying to commit it to memory. Who knows if he'll ever let me be this close to him again?

"What are you doing?" Edward's deep voice rumbled from underneath my cheek. I glanced up, my eyes meeting his.

"I'm smelling you." I giggled. He rolled his eyes and put his hands behind his neck, not encouraging me… but not pushing me away either.

Deciding to humor myself, I laid my body fully on top of his. Edward's eyes opened as he watched me settle myself down on him. I rested my chin in my hands that were folded on his upper stomach and wiggled my hips until they were situated between his legs. I could feel his hard dick against my stomach, captured between us, but I decided to ignore it.

"Comfortable?" Edward asked, raising one of his perfect eyebrows at me. I smiled and nodded, dropping a kiss onto his ribs. He closed his eyes at the contact, and then just kept them closed. Appearing to be resting. I let my eyes wander across his body, squinting them as I tried to read the elaborate script across the top of his chest.

With a trembling hand, I glided my fingertip over the beautifully etched script… tracing the words. _Can't put your arms around a memory._ My chest tightened with the threat of tears. How can something so beautiful seem so sad?

"Don't." Edward mumbled, peering at me through a squinted eye. My hand quickly retreated and slid underneath its resting spot beneath my chin. I watched his chest rise and fall with his steady breaths as his eyes closed. He looked so serene.

_Who are you? _I thought as my eyes drifted across the words on his chest, and then fell on the black and gray compass etched over his heart. _What made you feel so lost that you had to remind yourself to follow your heart? _What are the stories behind his tattoos? There has to be some. I'm certain that Edward isn't the type of guy to tattoo himself _just _to have a tattoo. He isn't Justin Bieber.

Curiosity getting the best of me, I peeked at his side to try and decipher the curling script that covered him from about where his shoulder blade ended to the top of his hipbone. I focused on following the twists of the letters—without actually touching him—as I recognized a name. Even through the darkness of my room it was apparent what the curling letters spelt out. _Esme_… his mother's name.

That is about the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

"What has you smiling like that?" Edward asked, peering up at me through the slits of his eyes.

"This." I sighed, placing a kiss to his marked skin. "They're so beautiful—you're so beautiful." Edward's face softened as he reached out his hand and cupped the back of my neck, bringing my lips to his. The kiss was short, soft, and sweet.

"Its you that's beautiful, Bella." He whispered against my lips, holding me against his chest. I could hear his heart pounding underneath my head. "You need to forget about me, Bella." He sighed, his hands gently stroking down the length of my hair. "Forget about this infatuation. Focus on school and—fuck—be a kid while you still can. Fall for a guy your own age..."

I sat up and wrapped my arms around myself, looking down at him desperately. He was giving me a strange look.

"You don't want me." I rasped, pulling my sheets up to cover my chest. Edward's face looked pained as he sat up and ripped his hands through his hair.

"Fuck, Bella… Of course I want you! But you deserve so much more than me. I'm a dirty old man… I'd take your… your youth away from you." He sighed, looking down at his hands that were clasped in his lap. "You deserve to be a teenager, and grow up experiencing everything without me looming over you and cramping your style."

"But Edward… I _want _you." I gasped out, pinching my bottom lip between my teeth.

"I get that, I really do." Edward responded, exasperated. "But I have _kids _Bella. And you're _sixteen_! If I decided to pursue this, it would _never _work out! I can't be complicating your life with all of the chaos that surrounds mine." Edward scrubbed his face with his hands and looked up at me. A cold look consumed his face as he noticed the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"No." He bit out. "Don't be sad. I'm doing you a favor. You'll get over this soon enough and move on. You'll be glad I did this, trust me."

I wiped the tears from my face harshly and stood up on shaking legs. With one arm wrapped tightly around myself, I gestured towards the door with the other.

"Get out." I said, my voice devoid of emotion. Edward's head bobbed with a curt nod before he unfolded his body and gathered up his clothes. I watched—still naked—as he dressed quickly and then walked stiffly out of my room.

Trembling with restrained emotion, I hurried over to my door to shut it and pressed in the lock. Then I slipped on one of my dad's big baggy shirts and stripped the sheets off of my bed. I redressed it in the spare sheets I kept in my closet and stored the old sheets in my hamper.

Feeling like I had all of the life drained out of me, I climbed into bed and snuggled up under the blankets. Struggling to keep my tears at bay, I scrambled around in my bed to find the one thing that would make me feel better. Just as I was about to panic, my fingers brushed the old, fuzzy pelt of my stuffed bunny. A feeling of relief washed over me as I clutched Thumper to my chest. And as if her little plush body contained some sort of calming agent, I quickly fell asleep.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

By the time I had risen from bed, dad and Edward were already gone. Mom was nowhere to be found in the house, so I took the opportunity to put my sheets on to wash.

After a half an hour of pacing around and cleaning up random things, I decided to just call in a lunch order from one of my favorite restaurants—Chad's Deli. After I hung up the call with Mrs. McCarty—Emmett's grandma—I jumped in the shower to freshen up and headed out to pick up my sandwich.

The drive south to Tavernier helped clear my head as I focused on weaving my car around the slow moving vehicles in front of me. It didn't take long for me to drive from my home in Key Largo to Chad's.

The bell on the door jingled as I pushed it open, making Mrs. McCarty look up at me with a smile. "Bella!" She cried, "Your sandwich is almost ready."

I smiled at her and leant up against the counter to gossip with her. Joanie McCarty is probably the biggest gossip in town, aside from Jess's mom Lisa. But unlike Lisa Stanley, Joanie McCarty is very well liked by almost everyone in the community. Her family is really well off money wise—so well off that she doesn't even need to work. But she chooses to help out here and there at different places whenever they need an extra hand. And she does it without being paid.

She's a saint.

"Oh Bella, were you one of those unfortunate teens who attended my grandson's party?" Joanie asked, storing the cash I gave her in the cash register.

"Nope." I laughed, "Dad made sure I wasn't." Joanie looked up from what she was doing with a blank face.

"Oh, did he now? Well that's nice of him to keep you safe while my son and grandson get the shaft, huh? A little warning would have been nice!" Joanie muttered bitterly.

My mouth fell open in shock. I have never seen sweet, southern belle Joanie McCarty raise her voice to anyone let alone get frustrated. But here she stood, hands on her hips with a bright red face. Nobody messes with Mama Joanie.

"Mrs. McCarty… I'm really sorry—"

"Sorry isn't going to cut it, Miss Bella. My son, Jackson, and Emmett are in a world of trouble now because _your _father refuses to let these kids have a bit of fun now and then! Jack's going to loose his job as the Head Coach for the Varsity Lacrosse team and Emmett! Emmett may loose his scholarship! Now I ought to—"

"ORDER UP!" Mama Joanie paused her tirade and collected herself as the cook called out the order. With her back turned towards me she tucked the wisps of hair that had fallen out of her bun during her sassy scolding, picked up the big brown paper bag that contained my sandwich, and then turned around with a watery smile on her face.

"Oh dear." She sighed, placing the bag in front of me. "I'm sorry I believe I've just lost my temper with you, child. I apologize." I nodded at her, completely thrown off by what just went down. "Enjoy your lunch, sweetheart." She sighed, patting my hand as she settled back into her seat behind the register.

What the fuck just happened?

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Needless to say, dinner that night was awkward. I refused to look at Edward at all. Which was easier said than done. He had gotten a little bit sunburnt out on the boat, so his cheeks were the most delicious shade of pink. Not to mention the fact that he had forgone shaving this morning so he was rocking the hottest stubble I have ever seen on a man.

But somehow I kept my eyes off of him.

Mom and dad didn't seem to notice anything, which I was thankful for. I know if mom had suspected anything she would have cornered me and addressed the issue. And this was definitely not something I was willing to discuss with her.

After dinner, I retreated to my room and locked myself inside. Hoping to avoid any sort of company, I powered on my TV and flipped open my laptop. As I was trolling Facebook, my phone buzzed on my nightstand.

It was a text from Angela.

_**Hey.**_

_Hey is for horses._

_**That's hay, stupid.**_

_Whatever._

_**Anyways, I have to ask you something! But you can't go blabbing it to L and J.**_

Interesting. I let her sit on it for a minute before I responded.

_Shoot._

_**So tomorrow is Sunday. And everyone usually goes to the sandbar, right?**_

_Correct._

_**Well, Rose and Jay have a boat. And they wanted me to see if you'd be interested in coming out with us tomorrow! **_

…_?_

_**Isn't that exciting!?**_

_And I can't tell L and J, why?_

_**Well… Rose and Jay know it was Lisa Stanley who told Charlie about Em's party. So they don't want them to come out with us.**_

_Yikes. Wellllll, I don't know how I feel about letting L and J get shunned like that. It's not fair to them._

_**They're going out anyways with Mike and Tyler, Bella! Just come with us! It'll be so much fun!**_

_Fine. _

_**GREAT! I'll pick you up at 8!**_

_See ya then._

Well… It looks like I have plans tomorrow.

I wonder why it is that Rosalie and Jasper have suddenly taken an interest in me? They haven't tried to hang out with me before… Maybe Joanie told Emmett about her little episode and now he's feeling guilty.

I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Sleep found me quickly and before I knew it, it was time for me to wake up. I scrambled out of bed and tumbled into my shower to wash the sleep off of my body.

Toweling off, I selected a cute blue and green tie-dye bikini, slipped it on, and then threw a pair of jean shorts and a crop top over it.

As I thundered down the stairs, I almost tripped over the duffle sitting at the bottom.

"Fuck!" I yelled, grabbing onto my throbbing ankle. I hopped over to the living room and toppled onto the couch.

"LANGUAGE!" Mom yelled from the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and attempted to rub the soreness away.

"MOM!" I cried, sitting up so she didn't yell at me for putting my sandals on the couch when she came in.

"What, Bella?" Mom asked, a dishtowel thrown over her left shoulder. How domestic of her. She almost looked like the perfect little housewife.

"I'm going out on the boat with Angela and the Hales." Mom cocked her hip and pursed her lips thoughtfully.

"The Hales? I didn't know you were friends with Lillian's kids." I raised my eyebrows at her and slumped back into the couch with a sigh.

"I'm not. But Rosalie and Jasper told Ang to invite me to come out on the boat with them… and they seem cool so why not, you know?"

"É mesmo?*****" Mom asked, crossing her arms over her chest. I find it amusing when she reverts back to speaking Portuguese when she's shocked or angry. It always surprises my friends when she starts yelling what they think is gibberish and throwing shit around. I'm not even close to fluent, but over the years I've picked up on a few of her little sayings.

"Yeah mom, they _really_ did ask me to come." I shrugged, watching as she frowned and then nodded.

"Well, that was nice of them to ask you to join them! Just make sure to tell your father where you're going and say goodbye to Edward!" Mom sang as she sauntered out of the room. I watched her go with a smile and then hurried to the closet across the hall from the downstairs half bath that we kept the towels in. I stuffed a beach towel into a tote bag and then grabbed some of the sunscreen off of the top shelf.

"Bella?" dad hollered from the direction of the front door, "Edward's leaving! Come say bye!"

My hands froze in place as I took a shaky breath. Here goes nothing. I dropped my tote by the couch before I made my way out to our front yard. Edward was standing in the driveway, his hands combing through his crazy hair.

He looked up as I walked out, and the right side of his mouth twitched up in a lopsided smile. Fuck, he looks good.

"Dad." I chirped, wrapping my arms around his waist. "I'm going out on the boat with Angela and the Hales."

"Okay, sweetie." He sighed, patting my hands that were resting on his stomach. "Bring your phone and call me when you get off the water later. I'll come pick you up." I nodded against his back and kissed his shoulder blade.

"Thanks dad. Ang should be here soon." Dad nodded and ambled over to Edward to help him carry the food mom was sending home with him into the car.

I watched Edward's shirt lift as he reached up to shut his trunk. I had to swallow and look away from the sight of his tight abs. The crunch of pea rock made me turn my head back, and my eyes met a set of pale green ones.

"Hey…" Edward sighed, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Yeah… Um… Well drive safely." I grumbled, gritting my teeth as I struggled to be polite.

"Thanks. You be safe too." I nodded at him, my eyes hopping around nervously as I tried to avoid staring at his face. Edward sighed heavily before stepping forward and wrapping my stiff body up in a hug.

Despite the fact that my body was now tingling from the contact, I was livid. I wanted to shove him away and yell at him to not touch me, but I didn't want to make a scene in front of my dad. So instead I gave him a cold, one-arm hug and clapped his back a couple times. _There you go, _I thought bitterly, _you got the fucking brotap._

Edward stepped away awkwardly and ripped his fingers through his hair. "See ya." I muttered, just as Angela's powder blue VW Beetle pulled into the driveway.

Edward glanced over his shoulder and sighed. "Yeah." He grumbled, "bye."

Without a backwards glance, I hurried into the house and grabbed my tote. Yelling a quick goodbye to my mom and giving dad a kiss on the cheek, I burst into Angela's car.

"Awesome timing!" I exclaimed, wild eyed and breathless.

"Thanks." Angela replied with a smirk.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"Well hello, Bella! I've heard such good things about you! So nice to finally have you at our home!" Lillian Hale exclaimed as she held me against her rock hard set of boobs.

"Thanks, Mrs. Hale. What a lovely home you have." I replied, trying to be polite.

"You can call me Lilly, sweetie. Rosie is just upstairs primping and Jay is outside packing up the boat." I nodded and then shot Angela a panicked look.

"We'll just go up and see Rose, Lil." Angela chirped, slipping her hand into mine. "C'mon Bella, the stairs are this way." I followed behind her, feeling extremely awkward.

Angela pulled me up the stairs quickly, and I almost broke my neck trying to look at the pictures hanging on the walls as we passed them. At the landing, Angela pulled me through an archway that opened up into a huge game room complete with an old school pinball machine and a fancy pool table.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed, my eyes widening as I took it all in.

"Yeah." Came an unfamiliar voice from down the hall. "My dad went a little overboard with our game room." I watched as Rosalie flounced into the room. She was wearing a coral colored strapless jumper and her long white blond hair fell around her shoulders in a combination of lazy messy curls and a few strands of snarled almost-dreadlocks. She made beauty look effortless.

"You ready to head out?" Ang asked Rosalie, her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, I think Jay is outside packing up the boat. Why don't we head down there?" Rosalie replied as she slipped her feet into a pair of flip-flops that were lying by the couch. "I'm glad you decided to come with us." Rosalie said, throwing a bright smile my way.

"Thanks for inviting me." I replied, smiling back genuinely.

"No problem. From what Ang has told me, you seem like a chill girl. I figured it was time we become friends." I chuckled, following them down the stairs.

"Well I hope that I live up to my reputation. Ang has a habit of sugarcoating things." Rosalie looked back at me with a smirk.

"She does. But if you're the person Ang considers her best friend, you've got to be just as chill and sweet as her."

"Too true!" I laughed as I bumped Ang with my hip and winked at her. Ang just blushed and wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

"What took you so long?!" Now that voice I recognized. I watched as Jasper hopped out of their boat and onto the dock, his crazy white blond curls sticking to his forehead.

"Shut up, Drama Queen." Rosalie laughed, descending the stairs that led down to their dock. "Are we all packed up?" She asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Yup." Jasper replied as he pushed his sweat soaked hair away from his face. "We ready to head out, ladies?" He asked, turning his attention to Angela and I.

"We are!" Angela cried, smiling in barely contained excitement. I shifted my bag up my arm and nodded at Jasper. I couldn't help but notice how his eyes strayed on me as he told us to hop on board.

_He's cute,_ I told myself as I watched him navigate the boat out of the canal from my seat next to him on the bench. The wind whipped his wild hair around as he accelerated once we were beyond the no wake zone and I found that my eyes were continuously drawn to him.

Why hadn't I noticed how gorgeous he was before?

My eyes traced his profile appreciatively. His naturally tan skin made his hair seem almost silver in the light. A ruddy stripe ran vertically down both of his cheeks—probably a product of working up a sweat while he was loading up the boat. His eyes were the strangest almost violet colored blue I had ever seen, and they were framed with long blond lashes. He was beautiful in an almost supernatural way.

The boat slowed to a crawl as we entered a channel, and Jasper turned his head to look at me. "Hey." He drawled, a smile pulling on his lips.

"Hi." I responded, suddenly shy.

I swallowed as Jasper's pink tongue darted out to moisten his lips. "This your first time going to Sandbar Sunday?" He asked, his eyes darting back and forth between me and the channel ahead of us. I pursed my lips and combed my fingers through my hair.

"I've been with my family a couple of times." Jasper nodded, securing a Miami Heat snapback onto his head–backwards of course.

"Yeah, Rose and I come every Sunday. Emmett usually goes with us, but he's grounded so…" He trailed off, frowning.

"Umm… yeah that sucks." I muttered, adjusting my top awkwardly. Fuck, I'm really bombing talking to this guy.

"Bella…" Jasper sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't want to come off weird… And I'm not really sure how to say this, so I'm just gonna give it to you straight. I think you're really pretty and I'd really like to spend more time with you… and like get to know you. Maybe even take you out sometime."

I gaped up at him in surprise. I _so _wasn't expecting that. "But I thought you were dating someone from back in California?" Jasper's eyebrows pulled together as he navigated through the channel.

"Maria and I broke up a few months ago. Long distance just wasn't working out… and I was starting to like someone else." I bit my lip and looked away.

Is this what I wanted? I know there was no possible way Edward and I were going to be together, so there really was no point in holding out for him. This is exactly what he told me to do.

Jasper's a normal, gorgeous guy. And he's my age. I should just move on, and forget about Edward.

And Jasper just gave me the perfect opportunity to do just that.

* * *

*** **É mesmo = really?

**Don't be angry with me! This is still an E/B story, they just can't be together right now! I mean, honestly, did you expect Edward to date a 16 year old?**

**Anyways, thanks for reading, you guys! **

**I'll see you July 3rd! **

**xoxo**


	8. AN

**Hey guys!**

**This isn't an update, sowwy. I just wanted you all to know that I just made a twitter account! And if you're interested in asking me any questions and/or stalking me while I'm in LA go ahead and follow me! I'll follow back, I promise!**

**My handle is** _urbbyddyffn_

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Shout out to **Mz-Star** you're the bomb for pimping me and my story out! Also, shout out to **Vanilla19 **and **Ela Marelica**! You guys are by far my favorite readers! Thanks for always giving me feedback and being so cute (:**

**To everyone else: you guys are the tits and I love you to bits! **

**xoxo**


	9. Chapter 8

**STOP!**

**Open a new tab. Pull up youtube. Type in Geico Camel Commercial.**

**You're welcome.**

_**Anyways.**_

**It's July 3rd… And it's also hump day!I won't delay this any longer, so I'll talk about my vacation at the bottom of this update! Thanks everyone for waiting so long for this! You all are rockstars! **

**Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight series characters. I own the plot.**

* * *

The sandbar was packed by the time we arrived. My eyes widened and darted around, trying to take in all of it as Jasper slowed the boat down to navigate around everyone.

"I see Riley's boat over there!" Rosalie shouted from her perch on the bow, indicating to the left. Jasper's eyes squinted as he turned his head to look at me accusingly.

"Nah." He yelled up to Rosalie, "Look for Mike's boat. We'll park near them." I looked away sullenly. I didn't realize my little tryst with Riley was common knowledge. That's what I get for telling Jess.

"Hey!" Mike hollered as we pulled the Hale's beautiful Grady White alongside Mike's little Bonefish. I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized Lauren and Jess weren't hanging out with Mike and Tyler at the moment. But the matching pairs of bright pink flip-flops sitting on the bow of the boat notified me that they were around here somewhere.

"Where did the twins go?" Angela asked as she helped Rosalie toss out the anchor.

"They went over to Riley's boat. They've got that alcoholic whipped cream or whatever and some jello shots I think." Jasper made a face and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You can go on over there if you want, Bella." He said, not even looking at me. The tone of his voice combined with his facial expression had my heart breaking. Nobody so beautiful should look so sad.

I was suddenly consumed by an overwhelming need to comfort him.

"Hey." I said, laying my hand on top of his warm bicep. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be than here with you guys." _Liar. _There's only one other place I'd rather be. But I couldn't think about _him _right now. I need to focus on being normal. And Jasper is normal. Being with Jasper is the right thing to do.

Jasper peered at me through squinted eyes. "Really? Because I know you and Riley have… history…" I wrinkled my nose and rubbed my arm uncomfortably.

"Uh, yeah… we do… but that's just what it is now—history." Jasper rubbed his fingers together thoughtfully, his face scrunched as he looked down at them.

"Okay." He murmured, giving me a small smile. "I believe you."

"Good!" I exclaimed, patting his knee. "Now lets have some fun!" Jasper looked a little stunned by my enthusiasm—to be honest, I was too—but he recovered quickly… by throwing me over the side of the boat.

My scream was cut off when my body landed in the murky water with a splash. I broke the surface of the water with a gasp and with my hair flipped over my face like a helmet. _Fucking Jasper._ I righted my hair before shooting him the bitch brow.

"What did I do to deserve that?" I asked, floating along on my back.

"You were just looking a little hot, right Jasper?" Mike laughed, wiggling his eyebrows at me suggestively. Jasper just laughed and shook his head at Mike as he rummaged through the cooler.

He came out with a beer in his hand and threw me a wink. This just got _very _interesting.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

I'm drunk.

I don't know how it happened. Scratch that. Obviously I _do _know how it happened. It was the_ beer_ Rose kept feeding me. Beer in a can... Beer in a bottle... Beer in a pitcher... Beer through a _funnel. _

I can't remember how many beers I have consumed. But I know that it's been a lot.

Everyone else seemed to be just as drunk as I was as we stumbled through the water towards Riley's little boat party. We weren't planning on joining the party, but Angela heard that Ben was there so we had to go take a look.

Rose held my hand firmly as she dragged me along, chanting something about getting fucked up as she waved her funnel around over her head. I glanced over my shoulder a smiled lazily at Jasper as he trailed behind us. He smiled back at me and extended his hand out towards me in invitation. I immediately dropped Rose's hand and waited for Jasper to catch up so I could wrap myself around him. My fingers slid against his wet abs as I wrapped my arms around him. He's so warm.

I'm _so_ glad he isn't freaking out about hanging out around Riley. Riley doesn't even compare to Jasper. _Nobody_ compares to Jasper. Nobody… except… _Him. _But he isn't here. He'll _never _be here. So I need to stop thinking about him. Like he told me to.

Loud music brought me out of my thoughts. I peeled my eyes away from the water swishing around my legs to look up the scene in front of us.

We had arrived at cluster of boats that were overflowing with a hoard of my classmates. Riley's little red speedboat was in the center of all the chaos. And standing on top of it—topless— was Jess.

My mouth fell open in surprise as I watched her dance around and shake her boobs suggestively. Mike immediately took off in her direction, probably to take advantage of her highly inebriated state. He and Jess have had a thing going for some time, but Jess was really hesitant to let it develop into anything more. Apparently Mike wasn't good enough for her.

Jasper guided me along, following his sister as she jumped up onto a pontoon boat parked next to Riley's boat. I was immediately offered a jello shot, which I took. God those things are hard to eat. Especially out of those mini paper cups they come in. They make a huge fucking mess and get your fingers all sticky.

I wiped my sticky fingers on the upholstery of a lounge chair that one of my classmates was standing on and dumped the paper cup onto the floor. Whatever. Everyone else threw them onto the floor too, so why not?

I watched as Jasper pinched his paper cup and expertly slid the jello shot into his mouth without making a mess. Jeez, he's perfect. Is there anything he _can't _do?

_Can he make you pee yourself? _

Doubtful… But who knows? Maybe he can!

"Look who it is!" The sound of his voice made the hairs on the back of my neck raise in alarm. _Riley. _"It's little Isabella Swan!" I scowled as I turned to face him, my arms crossed over my chest. Jasper seemed totally at ease next to me as he lazily slung his arm around my waist.

"Oh!" Riley exclaimed, smiling in a way that came off more creepy than happy. "You hittin' that Hale?" I stiffened at his words and clenched my hands into fists. How I found this guy even remotely attractive was beyond me.

"Chill out, Biers. Bella and I are just hanging out— not that it's any of your business anyways." I ground my teeth together as Riley's eyes scanned over my body suggestively.

"Oh yeah? Well you're gonna love tappin' that ass. You think it looks nice in a bikini now… wait until you see it in a thong." Riley wiggled his eyebrows at Jasper and winked, biting his lip suggestively. Jasper's fingers tightened around my side. I could tell his patience was wearing thin.

"Although I'm sure Bella appreciates the compliment, I think you're really overstepping here man…" Riley waved his hand at him dismissively and laughed.

"Yeah, yeah. I see what you're doing mister high-and-mighty. Just thank me later for warming her up for you." Jasper's hand clenched into a fist at my side as Riley walked away from us.

"Jasper, I'm so sorry…" I sighed, trying to wrap my arms around his waist. Jasper pushed my hands away gently and shook his head.

"Bella, I can't right now. I'm really pissed, and I don't want to take it out on you. Give me some space, okay?" I nodded and bit my trembling bottom lip as I watched him hurry off of the boat and towards where Mike and Tyler were hanging out.

Fuck. I'm fucking up left and right here.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

If I was drunk before, I'm wasted right now. There's a point where you go from happy and rowdy to sloppy and nonsensical… I was there. I couldn't even string words together, my brain was all fuzzy, and my mouth tasted of beer and tangerine jello. All I was capable of doing was smiling and stumbling around.

"We'll make out!" Rose exclaimed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "If you'll make out!" She cried gesturing to the two senior boys standing in front of us.

"No way! I'm not gay!" Lucas Conrad exclaimed, shoving Rose's shoulder lightly.

"Alright, then if you two kiss! Just like… a pop kiss!" Rose laughed, pinching Lucas' stomach. Lucas gasped and rubbed at the spot as he swatted her hand away.

"C'mon man…" CJ Porter said seriously, "I wanna see this. Two hot chicks making out, it's so worth it." Lucas scowled at CJ and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fuck that, dude." Lucas bit out, pushing CJ's shoulder with a little force.

"It's just a fucking kiss. Like what you'd give your mom! They're gonna like… grab each other's tits and shit. Fuck, I want to see that shit." Lucas glanced between us, his eyes shining with interest and drink.

"Fuck it." He sighed, leaning in to smack a kiss on CJ's lips. Rose burst into a fit of laughter and I just grinned like a fool. I hope I can remember seeing that tomorrow. I wish I had taken a picture!

"Now you guys have to kiss." CJ said, his voice very serious as he wiped his mouth. I guess he thinks Lucas has cooties or something.

Rose shrugged and turned me to face her. I grinned stupidly as she cupped my face and brought her lips down on mine. She kissed me feverishly, her tongue sliding against mine. I giggled into her mouth as she reached down and grabbed a handful of my ass.

We were generating a crowd. Feeling like I needed to contribute more to this show, I palmed Rose's boobs with both hands and smushed them together. Rose giggled into my mouth as she flexed her hands around the flesh of my ass. Hoots, whistles, and catcalls filled the air as Rose fisted my hair and yanked my head back to kiss my neck.

And then my top was untied.

I jerked away from Rose to cover my now exposed boobs in alarm. Rose immediately hurried to retie the top as I glared at the person in front of me. The culprit.

Riley smirked and put his hands on his hips cockily. "Thought I'd spice up the show a little, baby." He laughed, wiggling his eyebrows. "You know everyone was waiting to see some tits."

Fuck, I've about had it with this guy. Sobering up almost immediately, I waded towards him. I approached him with a smile, pretending to still be drunk out of my mind. Riley's smirk widened. He thought he had me.

When I was about an arms distance away from him, I leaned up on my toes and puckered my lips as to ask for a kiss. Riley pursed his lips and leant down to kiss me… just as I junk punched him.

"FUCK!" He yelled, crumpling into a ball in the water. "YOU LITTLE BITCH!" I laughed as I watched him cup himself in agony.

"You deserve it, you sick fuck." I laughed, crossing my arms over my chest. A hard yank on my shoulder had me turning around with my fists raised, ready for a fight. My hands immediately dropped to my sides when I saw it was Jasper.

"C'mon. We should leave." He sighed. But his eyes danced with laughter.

Looking over my shoulder, I slid my hand into Jasper's hand and smirked at Riley as I allowed Jasper to lead me away. That's right, I'm with him now.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"Sooooo…" Jasper laughed as we sat cross-legged on the bow of his boat. "Do you do that often?"

I wrinkled my forehead in confusion. "Do what often?" Jasper licked his lips and fiddled with the ties to his swim trunks.

"Kiss girls." He replied, his cheeks tinting pink. So freaking cute.

"Nahh." I laughed, "That was just your sister being a flirt." Jasper chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah. She does that a lot." I bit my lip and squinted up at him as he combed his hands through his wild hair before he secured his hat back onto his head. "Is it bad… that I thought it was kind of hot?" He asked, biting his bottom lip.

"Thought it was hot that I kissed another girl? Or that I kissed your sister?" I asked jokingly, knocking his foot with mine. Jasper pulled a face and shook his head, his cheeks darkening even more.

"Shut up! You're gross!" He laughed, "You know what I mean!" I chuckled and lay back on the bow cushion, my hair fanned out underneath me.

"Yeah, yeah. I know what you mean. I'm just messing with you." Jasper huffed and crossed his arms. "Don't get your panties in a twist." I laughed, flipping over onto my stomach to stare up at him.

"Whatever." He sighed, leaning up against the side of the boat. I watched as his eyes drifted down the line of my spine and settled on my ass. He was creeping. I covered my mouth to try and stifle my giggles, but instead it just made my body shake instead.

"Hey!" Jasper cried, "Are you laughing at me?" I pulled my hands away from my mouth and let out the laughter I was trying to stop.

"Yes!" I laughed, smiling up at him. "Were you just checking me out?" Jasper shrugged and let his eyes wander again.

"Riley's right. You do have a nice ass." I pinched my lips together and wrinkled my nose.

"Very subtle." I laughed, rolling my eyes. Jasper just winkled at me and extended his arms out to his sides to casually lean against the boat.

"Whatever. You already know you're hot." I shrugged my shoulder and looked away.

"I'm alright." I sighed, twining my fingers together. Jasper huffed and leaned towards me, his face very serious.

I watched, my lips parting in surprise, as he crawled towards me and pulled me up into a sitting position. His soft lips immediately claimed mine in a hard kiss that left me breathless. Wow, that was unexpected.

"You're more than alright, Bella. You're beautiful." He sighed against my mouth, pressing another soft peck against my lips. His long eyelashes fanned open as he pulled away from me slightly to look me in the eyes. "Bella…" He sighed, licking his lips. "Will you go to the movies with me on Friday?"

I chewed my bottom lip as I thought it through. I could definitely do worse than Jasper. And the way that he kissed me promised more. I definitely didn't feel the all-consuming need that I felt when kissing Edward… But it certainly didn't feel like kissing a relative.

"Yes." I replied, my face breaking out in a genuine smile. "Yes, I will."

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"You look fine, Bella." Mom sighed from the doorway to my room. I looked up from my reflection and frowned.

"Is this proper first date attire?" I asked, gesturing to my navy blue floral baby-doll blouse and dark wash skinny jeans. Mom rolled her eyes and laughed at me.

"Yes, Isabella! The last five outfits you've put on were all good, baby!" I pouted and picked at the seam of my jeans.

"Yeah, but… I want to look perfect for my first date!" Mom sighed and started towards me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pecked me on the cheek.

"You'd look perfect wearing a paper bag, baby girl. Stop worrying, you'll drive yourself crazy." I shrugged and combed my fingers through my hair self-consciously. "You must like this boy." Mom laughed, patting my back.

"BELLA!" Dad yelled from downstairs. "A YOUNG MAN IS HERE TO SEE YOU!" I bit my lip and met Mom's eyes through the mirror.

"Looks like your boy is here, baby doll." Mom said with a smirk, "Get your butt downstairs before Charlie starts cleaning his gun…" I chuckled humorlessly at her before gathering my belongings. Fuck, why am I so nervous?

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"What do you want to see, Bella?" Jasper asked from behind me as we pursued the movie schedule posted above the ticket booth.

"Fuck if I know…" I mumbled, rubbing my sweaty palms against my jeans. "Nothing scary. I don't want to pee myself in front of you."

Jasper chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. "You don't have to be scared." He murmured, his lips brushing against my neck. "I'll keep you safe from the big bad movie." I frowned at him and nudged his arm playfully.

"Don't make fun of me! At least I can fess up to my fears." Jasper chuckled and ran his nose along the skin behind my ear. Well, I can see that he has a thing for PDA… He can't keep his hands off of me.

"Alright." He sighed as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "We'll watch Crazy, Stupid, Love. It's the least threatening of all of the movies out right now." I smirked and turned in his arms, wrapping mine around his waist.

"You're taking me to a Ryan Gosling movie?" I asked, smiling up at him. "Either you're trying to get me all heated or you don't realize what you're about to inflict on yourself." Jasper lifted the corner of his mouth in a lazy smile and pulled me to the ticket booth.

"I may have an idea or two." He murmured as he laced his fingers with mine.

Oh, okay Casanova. You do you.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Jasper certainly had an idea or two. One or both of which involved making out furiously in the darkest corner of the theater. All it took was the sight of Ryan Gosling shirtless, and our innocent handholding turned into something not so innocent.

"Bella." Jasper murmured against my lips as his hands tangled in my hair. I hummed back in response, too into the kissing to pull my lips from his.

Jasper had thrown up the cup holder in between us, and was now practically laying across three seats with me pinned underneath him. I thought his PDA issues were bad before…

"Fuck!" I gasped quietly as my tailbone bumped into the little metal bits sticking out from between the seats. "Ow, Jasper my butt!" I gasped, shifting my hips to get more comfortable. My mouth fell open in surprise as my stomach brushed what felt like a fucking flashlight.

"Unff." Jasper moaned, pressing his extremely hard dick down against my stomach. I guess he liked that. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and wrapped my leg around the back of his calf to pull him into me harder. Jasper gasped in surprise and then let out a breathy moan. Wow, he's so vocal and responsive.

But then a chorus of shushing made us realize our behavior was completely inappropriate considering our location. And being the gentleman that he was, Jasper righted himself and offered me some popcorn.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"So what did you think of the movie?" I asked Jasper as we exited the theater holding hands. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye as his lips quirked up in a smile.

"Honestly?" He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I wasn't even paying attention to it." I smirked at him and ran my thumb over his knuckles.

"Me either…" I replied, leading the way towards his truck.

"Bella." Jasper sighed, stopping so abruptly that I was jerked back by his arm. I glanced over my shoulder, my eyes darting over him quickly to see what was wrong.

"What is it?" I asked, feeling panic well up in my chest. Jasper scuffed his shoe against the ground, and then looked up at me from under his lashes.

"I was wondering—well more like hoping—that you'd say yes… to being my girlfriend." My mouth dried up and my cheeks flushed as I realized what he was asking. This certainly wasn't the first time I've been asked out. But it was the first time I'll ever be saying yes.

"Of course, Jasper." I replied, with a smile. "I'd love to be your girlfriend."

I've never seen anyone look happier than him in that moment.

_Normal._

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

**Bella Swan **and **Jasper Hale **are now in a relationship.

_**Edward Cullen **__and 37 others like this._

…

…

…

What the fuck?

* * *

**Apparently it's hump day for Jasper as well. Oh okay, Casanova. You do you.**

**Some important notes and shit:**

Right now it's 2011, and it's the Fall semester of Bella's Junior year of High School.

Edward is 29, in case you all missed that. You'll find out later why she didn't know his real age…

**What else… what else? If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask me. I'll message you like always and answer as best as I can without giving shit away. Sorry guests, I can't message you answers but I'll post them on the next update. **

**Now, on to my vacation.**

Of course, being me, I have to break my phone the first night we're in LA. Picture this: I'm in laying down in my aunt's bed and my phone is plugged in next to me. It falls, I pick it up, the top part of the charger is BROKEN OFF and stuck inside my iPhone. **BROKEN OFF. **How the fuck? Apple shouldn't have made iPhone 5 chargers so flimsy! And of course, Verizon doesn't know how to fix it. The Apple store doesn't know how to fix it. But the Jeweler kiosk guy in the mall does… so random.

Anyways, I did toursity shit. Saw the Sequoias, saw the Chinese theater, saw Venice Beach and Malibu, went to Laguna Beach, took pictures in front of the Rose Bowl and Dodgers Stadium, and ate bratwurst at some dark little German Tavern… That last part is random as fuck.

If you're still reading, I love you and I'd like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.

_Excuse me?_

The… party. With the… with the pants. Party with pants?

_Are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?_

That's it!

_Did Edward tell you to say this?_

No. Yes. He did.

_Okay. No. I don't want to go to a party in your pants. But I'll go to one in his._

All right. Lets go!

**Reviewing gets you an invitation to a party in Edward's pants.**

**Thanks everyone for reading, I'll be updating again on Friday!**

**xoxo**


	10. Chapter 9

**Thank you all for your reviews! They honestly make my day. I literally sit at work and check them lol I think my coworkers think I'm crazy because I'm always smiling and laughing while I obsessively check my phone. (;**

**Anyways, I hope you all had a fantastic Fourth of July! Sorry I said I'd update Friday. I didn't finish this chapter on time, and then I went to visit my friend for her birthday. Don't be mad at me. I was feeling awful about not following through with what I told you guys the whole weekend :( **

**A few things:**

1.** I like to keep my updates around 3k words so I can update more than once a week. I'll try and make them a little longer if it'll please you guys.**

2.** I've also been thinking about doing a DILF Outtakes with EPOVs. I'm going to take requests as to which scenes you all want in EPOV. I definitely have a few in mind, but I'd like your input.**

3. **I know the time jumps are going to seem like they take forever but it feels weird if I skip over too much of Bella's life. We have to see her grow up a little before she jumps back into it with Edward.**

4. **I love Jasper and all… but Jasper is Alice's man. He's just dating Bella because he hasn't met Alice yet. And I will never, EVER write any lemons that are not E/B. Never. Yuck ew never…. I think I made that pretty clear. So if J/B fuck, y'all won't have to cringe through the whole thing. I pinky swear.**

**Stephanie Meyer owns the characters. I own the plot.**

* * *

The repetitive flash of mom's camera nearly blinded me as I posed next to Jasper. He looked dapper in his suit; with a tie the exact same color red as the red in my chiffon banded dress.

I pursed my lips and slid my hand under Jasper's silky prom court sash. "Baby, if we don't leave soon we'll be late meeting up with everyone at Emmett's."

"Just one more picture, baby doll?" Mom asked; a pout firmly placed on her face. "It's not every day that my little girl goes to her first junior prom!" I rolled my eyes at mom's theatrics and smiled for her final picture. The night has barely begun and my face is already sore from smiling.

"Lets get out of here before the limo leaves without us." Jasper murmured, a smile spreading across his face. He's so happy that I decided to go to prom. Honestly, the whole school dance thing really isn't that appealing to me. But Jasper's on prom court and I wasn't about to let my boyfriend go dateless—or worse—with another girl "as a friend" to the prom. So I conceded and bought the dress, shoes, and jewelry. But only on the condition that Jasper gets us a hotel room for the night…

I've been so good about waiting to have sex with him. We've been dating for seven months and we still haven't had sex. It's honestly so refreshing to connect with someone on a mental and emotional level before you let yourself get physical with them.

Plus Jasper's a virgin and he wants to make our first time together special. And as cliché as the whole "lose your v-card at prom" thing is I'm totally game to let it play out that way.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Pulling up at the McCarty mansion, I noticed the absence of the white stretch Hummer limo that was supposed to be our ride to prom. Jasper parked his truck behind Emmett's tricked out Jeep and then flipped down his mirror to make sure his hair hadn't moved from its place. Ever since he got his hair cut shorter he's been so fussy with it.

I don't know whether it's him being self-conscious or narcissistic. Either way, I think he looks good no matter how he wears his hair. And right now, he looks extra good. His new haircut is extremely flattering. He got the sides cut closer to his head and the top left a little longer. And with the way his hair almost lazily curls, it gives him the most adorable wavy and cowlicked do.

The front door swung open almost immediately after Jasper rang the doorbell and Dawn McCarty, Emmett's mom, handed us a flute of champagne as we entered. She looked immaculate in her white wrap dress, turquoise jewelry, and gold wedge sandals.

"Hello Jasper, hello Miss Bella! The other kids are just in the sitting room. That limo driver has gotten himself a little lost, so it'll just be a bit before you kids can head on over to the prom." Dawn rattled off as she guided us to the sitting room. She was so small, maybe about an inch shorter than me, even while wearing her massive wedges. I'm not even sure how such a small woman gave birth to a beast like Emmett.

"Rosie will be so glad to see that y'all have finally arrived. She was spitting nails when she saw that you two were the only ones missing from the group." She smiled up at us with her signature Dawn McCarty smile complete with the bright red lipstick, the deep dimples, and the small gap between her two front teeth that she made look extremely attractive.

"Don't exaggerate, Mama!" Emmett boomed as we finally arrived in the McCarty's elaborate sitting room. Dawn flapped her hand at him and stuck her tongue out.

"Pffft, Emy. You know Mama never exaggerates." Her laughter sounded like tinkling bells as she danced over to her son and smacked his huge chest with her tiny hand. "Stop trying to embarrass me in front of your friends. You don't want me to tell Daddy, do you?"

Emmett rolled his eyes and leaned down to kiss his mom on her teased-up honey blond hair. "I'm just playing Mama. You don't have to bring him up as a threat every time I embarrass you." Dawn just shrugged and rubbed Emmett's stomach. I watched him smile as he watched his mother flutter out of the room, her wedges daintly clopping on the wood flooring.

I accepted Jasper's parting kiss and busied myself with fixing the corsage of bright red roses on my wrist as he left me standing next to the couch to go talk to his sister. She did seem a little agitated. But it wasn't like the limo was here yet, so I don't know what her deal is. Shrieking in surprise, my body was lifted into the air and pressed back into a massive chest.

"Hey twin!" Emmett laughed and smushed me to his chest harder. I allowed myself to get swallowed up in his bear hug, and rolled my eyes at his nickname. Ever since elementary school, everyone would ask whether Emmett and I were related. We both had brown eyes, light brown hair, and extremely pronounced dimples. But that was the extent of our similarities. Where he was a comically fat child, I resembled a stick figure with knobby knees. And despite my vehement denials of being his little sister, the little funny fat still tried to claim we were related. And now that we've become closer friends because of my relationship with Jasper, Emmett has taken to calling me his twin.

"Hey Bear." I laughed, patting his huge back. He chuckled and put me down, wrinkling his nose as he pinched my cheeks playfully.

"Who knew my little twinny-pooh could clean up so nice!" He exclaimed obnoxiously, grabbing me up in another bear hug. I sighed in exasperation and held still with my arms at my sides as Emmett rocked me back and forth.

"What the hell, Emmett?" Jasper exclaimed playfully, "Are you molesting my girlfriend right in front of me?" Emmett chuckled and set me on my feet. I huffed and straightened out my dress as Emmett bumped me with his hip.

"You're a child." I gasped as his hip check sent me careening into the couch. Emmett just shrugged and wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

"I may act like a child sometimes. But I'm definitely all man in certain places, right Rosie?" Emmett said in quite possibly the creepiest voice I've ever heard.

"Ew!" I exclaimed just as Jasper snorted his sip of champagne through his nose. Rose's cheeks immediately turned red as she looked away quickly. Huh. Rose was Emmett's prom date, but I always thought they were more of friends than anything. Emmett always tried to come on to Rose, but she always seemed to casually defuse the whole thing.

Maybe their relationship isn't as innocent as I thought…

"If you're talking about your hairy back, then yeah. I know all about that disaster." Rose responded coolly as she took a sip from her flute of champagne. Emmett's smile twitched minutely as he tried to control his reaction to her rebuttal. Huh. Odd. I've never noticed that before.

"You're such an Ice Queen, Rose. One day I'll get you to admit that you like me." He laughed, making his serious statement come off playful. Interesting. Rose just raised her eyebrow and pursed her lips.

"Good luck with that." She laughed, raising her glass at him before she tossed it all back. Well that was rude and totally out of character for Rose. I wonder what happened…

"As much as I'm enjoying this little show…" Angela laughed drunkenly from the couch; "I'd really like to make it to prom before it's over." Ben nodded stoically from behind her, his huge hands sliding from the couch back to rest on her slender shoulders. Gah, they're such a cute couple!

"Well wait no longer." Greg McCarty—Emmett's dad— said from the doorway to the sitting room. Emmett looked exactly like him, except Greg doesn't have dimples and has blue eyes and a mustache to Emmett's brown and clean-shaven face. "I don't know what Limo Company Lilly used, but I'd rethink using them again. I don't think the driver can even speak English… along with being old as the hills and blind as a bat." The ex-Marine said in his southern twang.

I watched as Greg walked up to Emmett and ruffled his hair. Greg's 6'8" frame completely dwarfed Emmett's 6'6" one. I don't even know how Greg and Dawn have sex… he'd _break _her. She probably can't even wrap her legs around his waist… he's that big.

"Lets get going, baby." Jasper murmured into my ear before softly kissing my neck. Right, prom. Lets go.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

May 21st. The Saturday after prom, also known as my 17th birthday.

Droplets of warm water sprayed my face as Jasper's boat cut the through the water. I smiled happily as I looked back at him as he manned the helm. He always looked happier when he was on the water.

I wonder if it's a California boy thing or a Hale thing?

I think it's a combination of both.

The definition of a Hale celebration is a Yacht party. Even Lilly—who originally gave me the selfish, vapid, and doting rich mom vibe—was extremely passionate about her boating and water sports. Although I'm not sure how she wakeskates without popping one of her fake boobs. That's right, Lilly fucking _wakeskates_. She even has her own pair of bright pink wakeskating shoes.

Rose was sprawled out on the bow cushion next to me, while Emmett sat on the bench up front and Ang and Ben sat on the bench at the stern. Mike, Jess, Tyler, and Lauren followed closely behind us on the Hales' two jet skis. I kept waiting for Mike to throw Jess off, but they seemed to be getting along for once.

Slowing to a stop near the marina that housed a few of the popular touristy restaurants, Emmett and Ben threw out the anchor. Rose pulled a bunch of floats from the bow storage and tied them all up to the cleats on the sides of the boat before throwing them out into the water.

I shed Jasper's tank top that I wore as a bathing suit cover up and hopped into the water. I needed to claim the huge inflatable killer whale before Emmett did. It was his favorite and I lived for messing with him. I mean we are siblings… twins really. It's my job to fuck with him, plus he's just too easy to rile up.

"HEY!" Emmett yelled as he scowled down at me. "You know Free Willy is my favorite! You do this to me _every time_!" Emmett whined, pouting as I straddled the float and wrapped my arms around it.

"You snooze, you loose." I sighed, relaxing against the whale. Emmett narrowed his eyes at me and crossed his arms over his huge chest.

"Well. History has a habit of repeating itself. And I'm sure you remember what happened last time you stole Willy. Or do you need a reminder?" Emmett asked aggressively. He knew I was baiting him for a fight, and he usually tries harder to resist, but stealing Willy is like the ultimate betrayal in Emmett's book. This was just too fun.

"You would never." I gasped as I watched him stand on the side of the boat, preparing to jump onto me to reclaim his float.

"Never say never!" Emmett yelled as he leaped through the air.

"FUCK!" I exclaimed as I tried, in vain, to escape his attack. The wheezing sound of the float popping was almost worth the sharp blow to the thigh I received upon Emmett's impact.

"Noooooo!" Emmett cried, sounding like a keening cat as he gathered his quickly deflating float in his arms. "You killed Willy! _I _killed Willy!"

"Yeah." Rose laughed from her spot on her float. "With your fat ass, you idiot." Emmett shot her a glare and hefted the dead whale onto the boat.

"I'll never forgive you, Bella." He sighed dejectedly, pouting like the little baby he was.

"Oh come on!" I cried as I settled into my usual float. "We can get you another whale." Emmett glared at me over his massive shoulder.

"But it will never be the same. It won't be _Willy._" He whined.

"Man, you're such a pussy." Mike laughed as he pulled up next to the boat on the jet ski.

"Whatever man. Willy and I had a connection no one will ever understand." Emmett said with a smirk, recovering from his little tantrum quickly.

"Hey, Emmett. What's happening with your scholarship?" Tyler asked as he tied the other jet ski up alongside Jasper's boat. Emmett chewed his lip and smoothed his palms over his swim trunks.

"Well… Mama doesn't want me to tell anyone until I sign my LOI…" He trailed off, smiling when he saw my confused expression. "Letter of Intent, Bella. I can't believe you don't know what that is." I frowned at him and motioned for him to continue. But he just stood there, dragging out the silence dramatically.

"Okay, stop Emmett. Just tell us already." Rose snapped from her float, her face looked almost _nervous? _There's definitely something going on there…

"I'm going to be committing to play football at the University of Miami. They didn't pull their offer after the whole party fiasco, and I've always wanted to stay close to home for college. So it's a perfect fit." He said, his eyes nervously flicking over to Rose who lay—stunned—in her float.

"That's great, Emmett!" Mike exclaimed, climbing into the boat to clap him on the back. "That's probably the coolest thing I've ever heard! Someone from our high school is gonna be playing at the U!"

Emmett and the guys continued with their sports talk, but every once and a while he would glance over at Rose's still form. I guided my float in her direction and spun her around to face me. My mouth fell open the moment I laid eyes on her. She was sniffling with quiet tears.

"Rose." I gasped, trying to keep quiet in order to avoid drawing attention to her. "Are those sad tears or happy tears?" I asked, pulling myself closer to her.

She glanced up at me through her wet, clumped lashes. "Happy." She gasped in a raspy voice, her lips pulling up in a small smile. "So, _so _happy." Her red-rimmed eyes slid back over to where Emmett was standing. He was laughed boisterously at something Tyler had said.

I was right. There was something going on here. Rose was crying… because she was happy Emmett would be attending the same University as her.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Jasper surprised me with a huge dinner at Outback that night. I had intended to go out to eat with my parents, but he insisted on taking me out instead. I was kind of hesitant to be alone with him… especially after prom…

He's been super clingy and emotional after we finally had sex. While I've felt weird and withdrawn. I liked Jasper, I really did. But I'm pretty sure what he did that night—what we did—meant more to him than it did to me. If I'm going to be completely honest, I didn't feel anything as he made love to me for the first time. I didn't even orgasm… even when he used his mouth.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I should be jumping with joy that a guy as beautiful as Jasper has feelings for me. I was definitely excited about it at first… but now. After what we shared… what he gave me. His _virginity. _I felt numb.

That's why I was so relieved to see that he wasn't taking me out on an intimate date. Instead, we were met by a huge group of my friends. I wouldn't have to fake anything tonight. Caring for Jasper came easy to me. He inspired an overwhelming need to comfort him in me. But being affectionate with him… it felt false, forced. I found that I was trying too hard to fake it in order to avoid hurting him, because that's what I do. I can't stomach the thought of hurting Jasper.

After our meal, the song, and my desert Jasper helped gather my gifts and ushered me to his truck. My body tensed as he wrapped his arms around me from behind and spun me around to face him. His face descended and his eyes slowly closed as he pressed his lips to mine. I kept mine open, with my eyes awkwardly crossed as I stared at the space between his eyes. What am I doing?

"Mmmm" Jasper sighed as he pulled his lips away from mine, licking them as he gave me a slow smile. "You taste like chocolate cake." I smiled back at him and turned to get into the truck, but his hand on my wrist stopped me. He pulled me back to him and tucked me under his chin. His heart hammered away underneath my head. I licked my lips and forced my arms to wrap around his waist as Jasper combed his fingers through my hair.

"Bella…" He sighed, pulling away a little to slide the back of his fingers down my cheek. He dipped his head to softly press his lips to mine. "Baby…" He nuzzled my cheek. "I've been… I've wanted to tell you… this… for some time. I just—I just couldn't find the right time to… say it." He murmured nervously as his hands glided down my back. "Bella." He repeated, kissing my jaw softly. "I've never felt this way about _anyone._ You're beautiful… sweet… intelligent… sexy as hell… and well… that's why—that's why I love you."

My eyes clenched shut at his admission, and I turned my head to lay it against his chest. His heart was beating rapidly. "Baby," he sighed against my ear, "I love you." He repeated, sliding his fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck.

What did I do to deserve this? This beautiful boy shouldn't feel this way about me… not when I couldn't reciprocate his feelings. I pulled my head away from his chest, with the intent to come clean. But when my eyes took in the sight of his deeply saddened eyes I knew I couldn't do it. I could see that if I said the words, it would break his heart. And I can't handle seeing him cry. So I did what I always did. I put the band-aid on his boo-boo and kissed it better, because I love Jasper… but I'm not _in _love with Jasper.

"I love you too, baby." I sighed, clenching the fabric of his shirt in my hands. The words left a bitter taste in my mouth. They were the right words, said to the wrong person.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"Oh!" Mom exclaimed as she walked into my room. Her smile stretched across her face when she spotted my yearbook open on the bed in front of me. "You're reading your yearbook signatures?" She asked, her eyes twinkling with interest.

"Yeah." I replied, motioning her over. "A lot of them are the lame H.A.G.S and phone numbers, but there are a few cute ones from my friends." I told her, pointing to the full page Rose took up with her illegible half-cursive half-print handwriting.

"Hags?" Mom asked, sprawling across my bed.

"Not like actual hags, mom." I laughed, turning the book so she could read the page easier. "It stands for Have a great summer." Mom looked up at me with her nose wrinkled.

"You kids have to abbreviate everything now days." She replied, almost in disgust. "I had some good quality signatures in my yearbooks! _Actually, _I think I have a few downstairs!" She exclaimed, scurrying off of my bed to retrieve them. I rolled my eyes at her and turned to the page that Jasper had claimed.

_Bella,_

_Words cannot describe how thankful I am to have you in my life. You've made the time spent in this little town unforgettable. I'm not even sure I lived before I met you. You are the most perfect girlfriend a guy could ask for. All of my favorite memories from this year have involved and surrounded you. I hope we can make more unforgettable memories this summer and next year together. _

_I love you so much, baby._

_Jasper_

My heart hurt looking at those words and I had to wipe the tears that escaped from my eyes quickly in order to avoid blotching the ink on the paper. _What am I doing?_ I asked myself again.

"I could only find my senior year…" Mom muttered as she carried a dusty looking book into my room and tossed it onto my bed. "Maybe I threw the others away…" She sighed distractedly. I watched as she leafed through her South Dade High yearbook excitedly.

"Your father wasn't in school then, obviously. But he wrote a little something in the back… riiiiiiight, here!" She exclaimed, her eyes dancing with excitement as she turned the book so I could see the fading writing on the inside of the back cover.

_Renee,_

_Will you marry me?_

_Charlie_

"Mom!" I exclaimed, my eyes widening as I reread the words a few times. "He proposed through your _yearbook?_" Mom shrugged and ran her thumb over my father's proposal.

"Yearbooks were my thing… He knew how much I loved having everyone write me a little something. So he surprised me with a proposal… I was so shocked… so happy." I frowned and shook my head.

"_So _lame." I relied with a laugh. Mom elbowed me and grinned.

"Come on, what else do you expect from your father?" She asked, chucking as she stared at the proposal again wistfully. "Oh crap." She sighed as the sound of her phone ringing carried up the stairs. "I'm expecting a call. I have to got take this." Mom grumbled as she got up from the bed. She hurried out of the room, leaving me with her yearbook.

I flipped through the pages, examining the various signatures. I paused as my eyes stumbled onto the most beautiful handwriting I've ever seen. The name at the bottom of the inscription had me sitting up and turning on my lamp to read the words better.

_Renee,_

_I know you didn't want me to sign this year… But I saw Trish with your book, and I convinced her to give it to me. Don't be mad at her, it's not her fault. _

_I know you made your choice… Well, I know there was never any other option for you... But I wanted to let you know that I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry for the things I said and did. I meant them all. I know I'm two years younger than you… but I saw you first. I don't care that I lost a friend because of what I said. To me, you're worth it. I don't care that you had his baby. I don't care that he's like an older brother to me. All I care about is you. _

_I love you Renee. I've always loved you. I loved you the moment I saw you when you first moved here in the 4th grade. When you spoke English in that funny accent and said things all backwards… especially then. I think I'll always love you, no matter what happens. _

_There's no one else out there that I'll ever love more than you. I know I'm only 16… and I haven't even lived half of my life, but I know. You're it for me. And if I can't have you then I don't want anybody else._

_I'll be thinking about you, and waiting for you. Whether you choose to be with me or not. I love you Renee Azevedo, you are perfection in the flesh._

_Love always, _

_Edward Cullen_

I felt panicked as I read this little proclamation of love over and over. No. This can't be… this isn't real… This is some kind of joke. Edward can't…

"Bella!" Mom sang as she threw herself across my bed once again, her phone in her hand. I looked up from the yearbook, my eyes wide and panicked. Her smile dropped as she yanked the book towards her to see what I was looking at. Her eyes scanned the first couple lines before she snapped the book closed and the dropped her head against the cover.

"I wish you hadn't seen that." She murmured, her voice muffled.

"What…" I said breathlessly, feeling like I was about to have an anxiety attack. I pressed my palm flat against my rapidly rising and falling chest and willed myself to calm down. "What the hell?" I finished, taking deep breaths.

Mom lifted her head, her face creased with sadness. "I don't…" She started, but then looked away as a frown marred her features. "I can't…" She said, shaking her head.

"You can't just leave this… Like this… I want to understand… I _need _to understand." I gasped out. Mom curled into herself and huffed. Her hands crawled into her hair and pulled on the dark curls.

"It doesn't matter now…" She sighed, palming her face.

I gnawed on my lip and knotted my shaking hands together. "If—If you don't explain… I'm just going to assume…" Mom's eyes met mine sharply, hers seething.

"Assume what?" She asked in a clipped tone. I recoiled and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Assume that _something _happened between you two." Mom gritted her teeth together and yanked her fingers through her hair again.

"You're just like me, it's almost scary." Mom murmured, rubbing at her forehead like she had a headache. _I know. _I thought bitterly, _believe me, I know. _"Long story short, your father and Edward were like Batman and Robin. Inseparable really. Edward had a huge crush on me. Your father pursued me regardless. I got pregnant, and had you. At the end of my senior year, Edward had enough of keeping his feelings inside and snapped. He went crazy and beat the shit out of your dad, then came to my doorstep covered in your dad's blood. He tried to convince me to _run away_ with him. I told him he was psycho and that he needed to leave me alone or else I'd slap him with a restraining order. Your dad refused to press charges against him. So Edward's father—Carlisle—sent Edward to military school in North Florida as punishment for his actions."

I gaped at her. "So then why are dad and Edward friends now?" I asked, finding this entire story to be completely unbelievable. This shit just doesn't happen in real life.

Mom sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, her eyes glazed over like she was transported back in time. Back to when it all happened. "We didn't hear from him for a while. I could tell it really killed your dad that they weren't talking… Edward was his sidekick. Then 3 years later, we get a wedding invitation." She paused and shook her head in disbelief. "_You are cordially invited to Edward Anthony Cullen and Tanya Michelle Denali's wedding beneath the stars._" She scoffed and rolled her eyes, "The whole thing was pretentious. Tanya's father was Edward's best man, and Edward was drunk the entire time. During the reception, he approached your father. I thought he was going to start another fight… but he just hugged your dad instead." She looked up at me, her eyes wet with tears. "After that day… it was like you father found the piece of him that was missing."

I gulped and looked away. I didn't realize dad was _that_ attached to Edward… If dad found out about… about what happened. It would kill him.

I felt like I was going to cry.

I felt like I was going to throw up.

Mom left me alone soon after. Telling me not to think about it. That it didn't matter anymore. But really, it did. I snapped my yearbook shut and put it away on my bookshelf, feeling numb.

_You're just like me, it's almost scary._

Was he imagining _her _the whole time he was with _me_?

_I'm really having some serious déjà vu right now. Bella looks exactly like you did when you were her age…_

I grabbed mom's yearbook and flipped to the section that held the school pictures. My eyes zeroed in on her senior picture. Top row, second to the left. _Renee Azevedo. _The face that smiled up at me looked exactly like mine… Same hair, same eyes, same smile. I was a carbon copy of her with my dad's dimples as a bonus.

He fucked me because he wants my mom. He fucked me and thought of my fucking mom.

This is fucking sick. I'm in a _love triangle_ with the man of my dreams… and my fucking _mother_.

* * *

**I bet nobody saw that coming… Don't kill me plz. **

Edward has some 'splaining to dooooo.

Expect the next update on Friday. I mean it this time!

**If you didn't read my bullet points up top, just go back up there and read number 2! (: **

**xoxo**


	11. Chapter 10

**To everyone who is still reading: Thanks for giving E a chance to explain himself. I know he seems like a sick bastard after what he wrote in Renee's yearbook **_**over 10 years ago**_** but I assure you, this chapter will clear everything up. **

**Also, to those of you who have reviewed: I love you! Even if you don't love me back right now, I still do! **

**A few things:**

1. **This will be the only EPOV in DILF. I never intended to write one until the entire thing was over but after all the reviews I got telling me E was sick and that my story was disgusting I NEEDED to clear the air before I lost all of my readers.**

2. **I'm pretty sure I'll be writing an **_**entire **_**EPOV story after DILF is finished for those of you who want to see what he's thinking the whole time.**

3. **I want to make a banner for this, but I'm not sure whether I want to make it myself or not. If anyone's interested in doing it for me please PM me, tweet me at **urbbyddyffn**, or add me on Facebook at **Urbabydaddy FanFic

4. **Even if you're not going to make me a banner, feel free to contact me through any of the above-mentioned forms of social media! I'm probably going to start posting teasers… and I love talking to people as well! I promise I will respond, even if it's a flame… and if it is a flame I can't promise that it will be a nice response… I kind of have some temper issues.**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight series characters. I own the plot.**

* * *

_Bonus Chapter: "Let me explain" EPOV  
_

I fucking hate my wife.

"But Edward I promised Daddy—" I raised my hand to cut off her complaining. Her mouth snapped shut immediately, but the arms she crossed over her chest told me she wasn't going to give up so easy. No of course not… I push, she pushes back harder. That's how it works in this house.

"I made plans with Charlie 3 weeks ago. You can go alone to your father's little barbeque, you don't need the kids and I there." Tanya pursed her lips and fixed me with a lethal glare.

"Edward." She warned, clenching her jaw. I don't have time for this. I turned to leave the room with a scowl, my duffle in hand. Her feet slapped against the wood floor as she followed me out of our room. "Don't you dare walk out on me, Edward! I told you that you couldn't go, so you _can't go!_" I ground my teeth together, trying really hard not to loose my temper. Instead I just kept walking, hoping that I'd make it to the boys' room before she pushed me past my breaking point.

"This _little barbeque_ is really important for business. There's a lot of networking and stuff you need to be doing. So you can't skip it for some trip to _Disney World._" She spat out the last word like it was the most despicable place on the planet.

I took a deep breath before turning around to face her. I tried to keep my voice calm and even-tempered as I addressed her, speaking slowly so she could understand _every singe word._ "I don't know whether you've realized this yet, Tanya, but I served you divorce papers 3 days ago. I'm leaving you and your asshat father's agency. I don't need to be…" I paused; trying to remember what phrase she used in her little rant. "_Networking and stuff"_ I mocked her, imitating her annoying high-pitched voice "with your father's colleagues. Get a fucking clue you vapid cow." With that I spun back around and continued to head down the hall to my kids' rooms.

"You're making a huge mistake." Tanya said through clenched teeth.

"No, staying with you would be making a huge mistake." I stated over my shoulder with a smirk. Angry red blotches spread down her face, neck, and chest. If real life was like one of those cartoons Brody watches there would be smoke coming out of her ears, followed by her head exploding… Now that I think about it, that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.

"YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET SAYING THAT!" Tanya screeched, throwing what I assumed to be her phone at my back. She completely missed me, and it hit the wall with a bang and fell to the floor. I chuckled and shook my head, should have known she was going to make a scene. "_You_ don't get to divorce _me_!" She screeched, "That's not how _this _works!" This rant was too good to miss, so I turned around again to face her. Leaning against the wall with my arms folded over my chest and my legs crossed casually over one another, I sat back and watched the show. _If only I had some popcorn right now… _

"You'll be fired!" She yelled, slapping a finger against her palm. "You'll loose all your clients!" Another finger against her palm. "All your money!" Three fingers now. "I'll take _all_ of it!" She waved her hands in the air dramatically. I tilted my head to the side and smirked, it looked more like spirit fingers than hand emphasis. "The _house!" _She was back to ticking things off, should have been number five but she was back to number one. She always claimed to be shit at math and here's the proof._ "_The _kids_!" A second finger. This one had my jaw twitching in anger. "EVERYTHING!" She threw something else—a throw pillow from the couch—hitting me square in the chest.

I jokingly put a hand over the spot she hit me and gasped at her, but then had to duck as she flung a vase at me. It slammed against the wall, knocking one of our wedding pictures down. Both of the items fell to the floor and shattered. _How symbolic,_ I thought as I stepped over the ruined frame.

"I don't give a shit about the job, the clients, the money, or the house. Take it all, I won't fucking fight you. But the kids…" I seethed, stalking menacingly in her direction. She stood her ground as I towered over her, my face twitching in anger. "You will _never _take my sons away from me. You are an incompetent mother. You are selfish and abusive. If you try to take my children from me, I won't hesitate to bring all of this to light." Tanya's face turned an even darker red as she lunged towards me. She shoved me back with both of her hands then lifted her hand to slap me. I easily captured her wrist in my right hand, stopping her slap mid-swing.

"Don't you fucking hit me." I hissed, pushing her back into the wall by her arm. Fucking psycho. She gasped as her back hit the wall and wrapped her arms around her torso. Her face scrunched up and she immediately started crying. _Oh, now she's playing the victim._

I shook my head in disgust and stormed off down the hallway towards my kids. Hopefully they didn't hear this little screaming match.

"Edward!" She called, her voice thick with tears. "Don't leave me…"

I just ignored her and kept walking. The glass from the broken picture frame crunched under my dress shoes as I stepped directly onto our wedding picture. "You better clean up the mess you made." I called over my shoulder, stomping on the picture for good measure.

_Fuck this marriage. I didn't even want to marry this bitch in the first place._

*** * * ~DILF~ * * ***

Arriving at the resort, I was a little hesitant to hand over my keys to the valet. The youth eyed my Rover like he'd hit the jack pot… certainly he's handled much nicer cars working at a Disney resort…

Gav immediately squirmed out of my arms once I freed him from his car seat and bolted through the doors of the lobby screaming like a little hellion. I stormed into the lobby behind him, dragging Brody behind me by his hand.

The front doors slid open as entered the lobby. Tourists in various shapes and sizes cluttered the otherwise immaculate room. My eyes immediately found Charlie standing alone in line. He looked like he was struggling to control his temper as some woman repeatedly sneezed directly onto his arm.

_Better that than your face._ I thought as I pushed my shades up into my hair. "No no no no no!" I laughed, picking Gav up before he could wrap himself around my leg completely. Once he engages sticky monkey its next to impossible to pry him off of your leg. I instinctively pressed my nose into his hair, taking in its sweet scent, before I pressed a kiss to his chubby cheek. Taking Brody's hand in mine, I made my way across the lobby towards where Charlie was standing.

As I got closer, the severity of Charlie's annoyance became very clear. He was jiggling his leg with his arms folded over his chest, his thumbs tapping impatiently against his forearms. Smirking to myself, I shifted Gav to my other arm and dropped Brody's hand in order to clap Charlie on the shoulder. He nearly toppled over from the force of the hit. How such a thin man made it as a successful cop was beyond me.

"You little shit!" Charlie cried, punching my shoulder in his standard greeting.

"Still can't take a hit, I see!" I laughed, winking at Charlie as he squinted his eyes at me and shook his head good-naturedly.

"Try jumping me now you little punk, see what happens!" Charlie laughed, crossing his arms over his chest. I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

"Yeah sure, what do you weigh, 160?" I said, gesturing to his thin frame.

"Not everyone can be 6'4", 220 Ed." Charlie chuckled, shaking his head. "And I never said I wouldn't fight dirty. One zap from my taser and all that muscle won't mean shit."

"245." I sniffed, giving him a cheeky grin.

"Fat ass." Charlie grumbled, his eyes darting as he glanced at something over my shoulder.

"Jealous." I sung as I turned to look at what had caught his attention. My smile and stomach dropped with unease as I realized who was standing behind me—my typical reaction to seeing Renee. Even after all these years, seeing her still made me uncomfortable. In a perfect world, you'd never have to see the woman who broke your heart again. But the world isn't perfect.

Once I got over my initial reaction, a smile spread across my face as I took in the sight before me. Renee had Brody wrapped up in a hug and was peppering kisses over his freckled cheeks. _Now that's what a mother looks like._ My heart ached as I watched Brody's hands scrunch in the fabric of Ney's shirt as she blew raspberries against his neck. It was going to be hard to bring him home to his mother after this weekend is over.

My phone vibrated in my back pocket, pulling me out of my depressed thoughts. With a sigh, I gently put Gav down and pulled my phone out to see a text from Tanya lighting up my screen.

_**Call me when you're settled in, baby.**_

Baby? Fuuuuuuuuck that. I pressed the lock button without responding. Delusional fucking bitch.

"And he's off…" Charlie said with a laugh, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. "I sure don't miss that." I peered up at him as I slid my phone back into my pocket, my forehead wrinkling in confusion. Then I heard it. The scream.

Without a second thought, I hurried off after my son. He was about 10 seconds away from grabbing some poor unsuspecting girl's face for a kiss. It felt like time was moving in slow motion as I quickened my stride in order to reach them in time. It only took me a few seconds to reach them, but the damage was done. Gav had succeeded in pulling her head toward his, but—thankfully—had yet to slobber on her face. A face that was not only staring down at my son with a mixture of shock and disgust, but also strikingly beautiful in an otherworldly way.

"Gav lets not go kissing girls who don't want to be kissed, buddy." I murmured gently as I pried his hands from around the girl's neck. My eyes flitted over her face with a hint of apology and a whole lot of interest. My stomach jolted as I met her strikingly familiar cat-like eyes complete with irises so dark they appeared to be one with her pupil. _Where have I seen those before? _"Sorry." I murmured, not even recognizing my voice as my own. "He's in his terrible 2s and has no self-preservation when he spots a pretty girl."

Blossoms of bright pink kissed her cheeks as her eyes flicked away momentarily. Pretty? Try gorgeous. Stunning. Beautiful. Breath-taking… She's embarrassed, modest and humble. Traits I'm not used to encountering. "No, it's alright." A soft, melodic voice murmured back as the girl uncrossed and crossed her legs. My eyes, captured by the movement, wandered slowly up her sitting form almost involuntarily. Long shapely legs… tiny hips and an even tinier waist… round, perky tits that peaked out of the top of her tank top invitingly… long, beautiful neck… plump red lips… and those eyes that pulled me in like a magnet and left me breathless. Her pink cheeks darkened at my obvious perusal of her body while her lips pulled into a small, shy smile. A smile complete with dimples.

_Fuuuuck me. _I want to fall to my knees and worship this beautiful creature. Over and over. With my body. With my hands. With my _mouth._ I bet she tastes fucking fantastic.

"You here on vacation alone?" I pried like the nosy bastard I was. I had certainly noticed she was sitting alone, but I wasn't about to get my hopes up. If this girl didn't have a boyfriend, then I didn't have a wife.

Her shapely eyebrows pulled together in thought and my eyes were drawn down to her mouth as she ran her teeth over her plump bottom lip. "I'm here… with my, uhh, family?" She said shyly, her eyes darting around nervously. Family? Is she married? I don't see a ring on her finger. If she were _my_ wife I'd weigh her down with a giant diamond and force her to wear it everywhere we went just so everyone would know she's _mine._

"Edward!" Renee's laughing voice came from behind me. My teeth ground together as I took in the girl's panicked expression. I bet she thinks Renee's my wife, seeing as she's carrying my son. Little does she know Ney's the bane of my existence at the moment. _Fucking cock block._ "I see you've met Bella, Charlie and I's daughter. It's been a while since you've seen her." Renee murmured happily, completely unaware of what she just stopped from happening. Her hand landed on my lower back as she smiled up at me, Brody still in her arms. My spine straightened at the contact, my body wanting to recoil immediately.

I couldn't hide the way I flinched at the contact, which caused Renee to drop her hand immediately. My eyes flicked back to where Charlie's daughter was sitting. How did I not see it before? She looks just like Renee did as a teenager, minus the dark curly hair. It's been so long since I pictured Renee looking that way, no wonder I didn't recognize her daughter… _Bella._

Despite looking almost exactly like her mother, I could immediately tell—just by her demeanor—that they were complete opposites. If I were fourteen years old right now, I would be saying: Renee who?

Bella's completely different than sixteen year-old Renee. Hell, Renee is completely different than sixteen year-old Renee.

She wasn't the older girl who flattered me with her attention and affection in order to gain my confidence. She wasn't the girl who blindsided me by becoming my faux older brother's girlfriend a week after I introduced them. She wasn't the girl who led me on for months on end after she started dating my best friend. Who told me she loved me. Who gave me my first kiss and then broke my heart by confessing to being pregnant.

And she _most definitely_ wasn't the scared girl who selfishly attempted to kill her baby with a self-induced abortion…

She's kind now; I can see it in her eyes. The love she feels for her daughter and husband radiates from her pores. Despite my body's reaction to her touch, I forgive her. I forgive her for everything she put my teenage self through. I haven't spoken the words to her yet… but I could easily see myself saying them to the woman standing next to me.

I hadn't realized I was speaking. I was unconsciously trying to save my ass and nervously hoping Bella didn't blow my story. She was peering up at me innocently with those fathomless black eyes, her lashes long, dark and sexy in that innocent kind of way. Innocent because she was just a little girl… only sixteen… practically a baby.

"Yeah, since your wedding. She's never even met little Brody and Gavin." Right. Since my wedding… My memory of that night is shit. It's a mess of blackness and blurred images. All I can remember is Charlie and I's heartfelt hug and a little girl in a pink dress clinging to Renee's neck.

"Yeah…" I replied breathlessly… remembering how it felt to see him there. For him to witness what a mess I made of myself in his absence. I was only 19… unknowingly signing my life away to the devil and his succubus daughter.

"Bella, here hold Gavin for Edward. He needs to go help your father with checking in." I hadn't even noticed I was holding my son. He was back to being his normal quiet self, staring at me with a pensive expression that made him look intelligent beyond his years. I dropped my kid onto Bella's lap and ruffled his curly blond hair—the only feature Tanya contributed.

The lobby seemed a mile long as I strode over to the front desk. I tried to blink back the black spots that clouded my vision. Tried to fight back the panic. I didn't like to be alone with my thoughts… and this lobby felt like a vortex of empty space. An empty space where all I could hear were my inner dialogue.

_You're nothing but a weak little bitch._

_You let women control your life._

_You let yourself get manipulated by one controlling bitch, and then fell right into the clutches of another._

_Spineless bastard. _

I wanted to beat my head against the wall to stop the truthful thoughts that haunted me.

I finally made it over to where Charlie was standing. He was next in line. He looked up at me and said something, but I couldn't hear him over the ringing in my ears.

"Hey." Charlie repeated, shaking my shoulder. "You okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost." I slammed my eyes shut and shook my head a couple times. My chest expanded as I inhaled deeply. I peered down at Charlie's worried face, exhaling slowly.

"Yeah man, I'm fine." I replied, forcing a smile. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, frowning at the 3 missed calls notification. All from Tanya. Huh, I didn't even feel it vibrating.

"Oh, I see." Charlie huffed, glaring at the lit up screen of my phone. "Bitch doesn't know how to take a hint." I shrugged and slipped the phone back in my pocket.

"I've got our kids—" Charlie cut me off with a huff.

"Like she fucking cares about the kids." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

"You stole the words right out of my mouth… But I'm not alone, so she has to put up a front for everyone. She has to pretend like she gives a fuck." Charlie huffed again and shook his head.

"How you got mixed up with that crazy is beyond me…" I pursed my lips and palmed the back of my head.

"I was trying to do the right thing… take responsibility for my actions." Charlie bit his lip and cracked his knuckles, mannerisms he passed on to his daughter.

"Pfffft! Take responsibility for what? Her fake pregnancy?" Charlie laughed, rolling his eyes. "Probably the most unoriginal way to lock in a man, yet you fell for it." I gave him a playful shove and shook my head.

"Better watch out, you know I won't hesitate to kick your ass!" Charlie grinned at me, shaking his head.

"You caught me off guard once _years _ago and you still won't let me live it down!" Charlie replied with a laugh. I'm so glad we can joke about it now. If I created a list of the things I regret the most, beating up my best friend over a girl would be my number one. Teenaged boys will do stupid things for love. No, not for love… for obsession.

The receptionist motioned us forward, but I stopped Charlie with a hand on his arm before he could make it to the desk.

"Let me get this…" I said, "It's the least I can do." Charlie looked like he was going to fight me, but I just gave him a hard look and walked up to the front desk.

Lets see if I can hook us up with a suite.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

I absolutely loathe public transportation. It makes me feel like a peasant, riding on one of these Disney buses. Not that I'm anywhere near filthy rich, but my family never wants for anything and I own and drive several luxury vehicles. One of which I had parked at the hotel, which is why I offered to drive us all to the park. But Charlie insisted on taking the bus.

So here I am sitting on the uncomfortable plastic seat, desperately trying to avoid touching any of the surfaces. All of which were smeared with fingerprints and warm to the touch like someone had been sitting there not too long ago.

"So Edward how is work going for you?" Renee asked, looking genuinely interested.

"Work is work. I'm making money so I can't complain." I'm about to loose my job since the only thing keeping me there was my marriage.

"So being a sports agent is all you've wanted it to be then, Edward?" Renee inquired, leaning into Charlie's side.

"Yeah, it's definitely something I enjoy, Renee. It certainly pays the bills." I'd like it even more if I wasn't forced into being my boss's lap dog. I glanced back down at my phone. Tanya had sent me a picture of all my shit sitting by our front door, stuffed into black garbage bags.

_**Fuck you, asshole. **_Was the attached message. She needs to be tested for a personality disorder.

"How are Carlisle and Esme doing?" Finally a question I can answer without cringing.

"They're doing great. My mom finally convinced Carlisle to move out of the Redlands. They just bought a house on Old Cutler, in Palmetto Bay. Carlisle is making a lot of good money right now. The move has been really great for business since he's closer to the office now." Renee nodded along, a faint smile on her face.

"Yeah, I was thinking about getting a little work done actually." Renee said cheerily, patting Charlie's hand that lay against her thigh.

Charlie's face scrunched up in confusion as he stared at his wife's profile. "When were you going to tell me this, Ney?" I smirked, glancing between the two of them. She's totally fucking with him, which is typical Renee behavior. I made the snap decision to help her stir the pot a little.

"My dad would definitely prefer it if you used him as your surgeon if you decide to get something done, Renee. Although, I must say you definitely don't need the work." I threw in a cheeky wink for good measure, which made Charlie's shoulders relax. He knows we're messing around now. He's still so slow to catch onto his wife's little jokes.

"You hitting on my wife, Ed?" Charlie laughed, squeezing Renee into his side. Renee pursed her lips and shook her head at her husband, but at the same time shot me a wary look. The look said it all. She's worried I still have feelings for her.

I wanted to tell her to relax. That over ten years have passed since then. That my wounded ego and broken heart led me right into the arms of a girl more sinister and cruel than she ever was.

"Of course I am, Charlie." I said instead, shooting Charlie a wink before pinning Renee with a pointed stare that said _relax. _

"Wait buddy." I said, as I instinctively grabbed ahold of Brody before he could run off. I pulled Bella's phone out of his hands before he dropped it, and turned it over to get a better look at the game he was so engrossed in. _Fuck. _My mouth popped open and my pants tightened as my eyes took in the image that filled the screen.

Bella was topless, only wearing a pair of red lace cheeky underwear and taking a picture of her reflection in the mirror. She was turned so all you could see was the delicious line of her spine, her round ass, and a tease of the underside of her perky tit.

I swiped my thumb across the screen quickly, trying to avoid the awkward situation that was surely going to be the result of me handing her phone back. Another image, just as revealing as the one before it, filled the screen. I ground my teeth together as I took it her topless again, accept it was taken with her facing forward with her forearm covering her chest. _Fuck me._

I handed the phone back to her quickly, trying to avoid eye contact. Fuck, her body was perfection. What I wouldn't do to see it in the flesh, spread out underneath me.

I wanted to smack myself in the face for thinking such lewd thoughts about a minor. But when I looked down at her, she didn't look like a minor. Her unique shaped black eyes were peering up at me so innocently, but with so much maturity.

Her cheeks were tinged pink as she made her way through the isle. I nudged her shoulder with mine, causing her to look up at me. "Nice." I murmured, the image of her arched back and firm ass feeding a fantasy I didn't even know I had. Flashes of Bella on all fours flitted behind my eyelids. Her long dirty blond hair cascading down her back as she glanced at me over her shoulder. My big hands dwarfing her little hips. Red lace panties pushed aside and the soft heat of her flesh surrounding me. _Fuuuuuuck._

My eyes blinked back into focus as I realized where I was and whom I was fanaticizing about. "You better not let your dad see that or he'll have your ass." He'll have your ass. _Have _your _ass. _Let _me _have _your_ ass.

Fuck, I need to stop thinking about her like this.

I glanced over my shoulder and chuckled at the sight of her standing in the isle, completely stunned. "You coming?" I called to her, not really fighting the laughter that built up in my chest.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * * **

The wave is going to drown them.

I pushed myself forward as fast as I could, hoping to get there before the wave knocks Bella's tiny body over. I scooped her up quickly and held her back against my chest as I shielded her and my son from the wave. It feels so natural to slide my arms around her tiny body, my palms laying flat against her taught stomach.

I resisted the urge to duck my head down and run my nose along the long line of her neck. Her eyes met mine over her shoulder. Black on green. She pinched her bottom lip between her teeth. Her skin bunched into gooseflesh.

"Are you cold?" I asked, discreetly spying her hard nipples as they poked through the fabric of her tiny bikini top. I chafed my hands up and down her arms in an effort to warm her.

"I-I'm good." She replies, her stutter giving away her nerves. "He lost a tooth! Oh my god, I'm sorry I knocked his tooth out!" I caught my slippery son in my arms and dropped my eyes down to assess his beaming mouth. The gap there is two weeks old.

"His tooth has been missing for two weeks, Bella. You didn't knock it out." Her face flames in embarrassment, the blush travels down her chest. Beautiful.

"Oh… well…" She murmurs, shifting her stance and causing her ass to brush against my crotch.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." I find myself saying, my eyes still locked on her tits. She takes my son back and wades out of the pool. I'm following her, my eyes refusing to look away from her round ass and the deep dimples that adorn her lower back.

Her bikini bottom was sliding down her ass, exposing the top of her left butt cheek. My swim trunks are fitting so tight. A water park isn't the best place to sport a boner. My deflation reel flashed behind my eyelids: dead cats, compound fracture, my parent's sex noises, Charlie's mom in her underwear…

Problem solved.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

My eyes found her immediately. She was sitting on the bleachers, talking to some frat boy douche bag. _Of fucking course she finds someone to flirt with the moment Charlie and I disappear._

I calmly make my way towards them, hoping the lifeguard manning the slide takes her sweet ass time trying to talk Charlie out of his fear. He froze the moment he set eyes on the start of the slide, and refused to go down it. The little blond lifeguard had been eyeing him the whole time and seized her opportunity to talk to him when she saw he was on the cusp of having a full-blown panic attack. Being the good friend that I am, I ditched his ass.

"Are you here with your parents?" He asks Bella, his eyes trained on her tits. It takes all the strength I have not to deck the kid. Instead I haul a resistant Bella down from the bleachers and shove her behind me defensively.

"Yes, she is." I bite out, raising my eyebrow at the kid in a way that speaks: what are you going to do about it?

"Don't listen to him. Do you want to hang out?" Bella says in a sultry voice as she ducks underneath my arm. _Over my dead body. _Her wrist is captured in my hand instantly, stopping her in her tracks.

"Take one more step, Bella, and your dad is going to hear about this. As for you." I growl, glaring at the shocked frat boy. "Try and talk to her again and I'll send you back to whatever University you attend looking like an eggplant. I am not fucking around." The kid raises his hands and backs away.

"Look man, she came onto me. I'm outta here." Right, she did. And she made _your_ eyes look at _her_ boobs. Get the fuck out of here.

"Edward, you're not my dad!" Bella cries, her face making the exact same expression Charlie's does when he's exasperated.

"I'm very aware of this." I state flatly, my eyes dropping down to check out her chest again. "Look Bella, I really don't know how to say this so I'm just going to come right out with it. First those pictures on your phone and now this… you're well on your way to breaking your father's heart. I don't know you, and I won't pretend to. But I can't see how a daughter of Charlie's would be acting this way. Maybe that's just my opinion, though."

"I… I don't know what to say." She replies in a small voice, her teeth gnawing on her lower lip. "Are you going to tell my dad?" Her voice trembled, like she was afraid of what her father will think of her. I lifted my hand and threaded my fingers through the hair on the back of my neck… feeling conflicted. On one hand I should tell Charlie because he has the right to know. On the other, I liked the thought of her being indebted to me for keeping her secret… it made me feel… in control.

"I should… but I'm going to let you get away with it this time. Please try to take it easy on Charlie… I wasn't kidding when I said you're on your way to breaking his heart." I'm so bad… is it impossible for me to make the right decisions or something?

"Yeah… thanks Edward. I don't know what came over me." What came over me… _Came _over her… I'd like to _come _over her… on her… in her… _Fuuuuck. _

What the fuck's wrong with me?

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

I fucking hate being the third wheel. Renee and Charlie are all wrapped up in each other, dancing the night away, while I'm sitting here at the bar drowning myself in Tequila.

"Hey handsome, can I buy you a drink?" A raspy voice says from beside me.

"Fuck off." I murmur, staring down at the empty shot glass in my hands.

"Hey! That's no way to talk to a lady!" The woman says in anger. I peer up at her through heavy lids, letting my eyes take in her form. She's trashy as fuck and wearing ratty white blond hair extensions.

"I don't see a lady." I mutter, motioning to the bartender for another shot. The woman storms off with a huff and I'm yet again left to my own devices.

"Hey Edward." Renee sighs, slumping into the barstool next to me. I nod my head at her in acknowledgement and throw back my shot. "Drinking alone?" She laughs. I shrug my shoulder and motion for another shot. "We'll take two." Renee says to the bartender.

"Not anymore." I sigh, drumming my fingers against the bar.

"Look Edward—"

"Renee I—" we say at the same time as each other.

"You go first." She laughs, crossing her legs.

"I was just going to say that I'm so thankful for you guys…" I trailed off, rubbing the back of my neck. I fought the urge to flinch away from her touch as her hand squeezed my bicep reassuringly. "You know, after all we've been through… I'm just glad that we all managed to stay friends."

"Oh Edward…" She sighs, giving me a sad smile. "I'm so sorry… for everything." My eyes flash up to hers, she looks like she's about to cry.

"You don't have anything to apologize for. I'm the one that should be sorry." I reply, breathless because of her apology. Because she finally recognized the fact that she did something wrong.

"No, please, Edward." Renee sighed, her face crumpling with sadness. "What I did to you… I shouldn't have… I'm such a bad person. Not a day goes by—" I hold up my hand to silence her.

"It's okay, Renee. I forgive you." There I said it.

"Edward, I just… I feel like I'm drowning in my guilt every day. The things you saw… you shouldn't have—" I pressed my fingers against her lips to physically silence her.

"Enough, Renee. I said I forgive you." She tilted her head and peered at me, like she was trying to figure me out. "A toast." I sighed, picking up my shot glass with tired fingers. "To forgiveness and resolved issues."

Renee squished her lips together and shook her head at me, but still clanked her glass against mine.

To forgiveness and resolved issues.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"I'm sure he's too heavy for you to carry all the way back to the hotel." I murmured, staring down at the beautiful girl who stole my son's heart. Brody had taken to her immediately, just like I had…

"He's not that heavy." She insisted, her eyes narrowing as she watched her mother carry Gavin. She was so drunk she looked pigeon-toed. "Someone should take him from her." I rolled my eyes as I watched Renee shift Gav up higher on her hip, knowing full well that he turned into what felt like a cumbersome sack of potatoes when asleep. Flitting my eyes back to Bella, I smirked down at her and shrugged.

"He'll be fine." I laughed, "If it was his mother holding him in that state _then _we would have something to worry about." His mother. She shouldn't even be able to call herself the mother of my children.

"I… um… I'm sorry about that." She whispered, placing her hand on my shoulder. So she knows about the divorce. I thought Charlie said he wasn't going to tell her…

I could feel the heat of her flesh, even through my shirt. I peered down at her and shrugged, absentmindedly running my fingers through Brody's hair. "It's life, you know?" Life. What a fucking life I'm living. Bound forever to a fucking bitch by the two most important things in my life.

But she wouldn't know anything about that. "Well, actually you wouldn't know would you?" I laughed bitterly, smiling for the sake of smiling. "You're just a little girl, you have no idea what I'm going through." It's true. She really doesn't.

It was quiet for a while. I could see that she was watching me thoughtfully through my peripherals. What is she thinking?

"Just promise me something, Bella." I asked, watching her teeth capture her bottom lip.

"Yeah?" She sighed, dragging her tongue across the flesh she was just abusing.

"Just promise me that when you make that commitment to spend the rest of your life with someone… make sure that you do it for the right reasons… and that its with someone worthy of your love." Don't make the same mistake as me.

She stared up at me, her eyes portraying her confusion. I passed through the door Charlie just opened and took it to hold it open for Bella. She followed me inside, and then surprised me by laying her hand on my stomach and pushing me back against the wall. My mouth opened to ask her what the fuck she thought she was doing, but the finger she pressed against my lips stopped me.

Her little fingers wove into the hair at the back of my neck as she pulled my face down to hers. Is she going to kiss me? Surely she wouldn't do that where everyone can see us. Her lips ghosted along the shell of my ear, sending shivers down my spine and causing my pants to tighten. Fuck, what is it about this girl that gets me so fucking worked up?

"I promise." She whispered against my ear. Then her soft lips pressed a lingering kiss to my cheek before she released me with a shy smile. That was my fucking undoing. There she is, everything I want and like in a woman, standing in front of me.

She's beautiful, but she doesn't flaunt it. She's kind and compassionate. And she wants me. That little stunt confirmed it.

The ride up to the room seemed to drag on. Renee was moaning against the wall of the elevator and Bella kept stealing glances at me through those sexy lashes.

I went through the motions of putting my kids asleep on autopilot. My body and mind hypersensitive to everything Bella was doing. With Gavin safely tucked into his pack n play, I found myself slumped over on the bed.

My mind kept replaying that kiss over and over again. Her lips are so fucking soft and plump. They made me wonder about how they'd feel… wrapped around my cock. Fuck I can't be thinking about her like this. She's only a teenager.

But then she walked in wearing that translucent tank top, with no bra on underneath. As my eyes took in the faint outline of her nipples I knew I was completely fucked. She's doing this on purpose. The way she looked the first day I saw her, the pictures on her phone, the skimpy bikini, the cheek kiss. She's trying to fucking tease me into giving in.

She's a temptress. A siren. It would be so easy to just give in… And it would feel so good. I can just tell already that she'd be the best sex of my life. Imagine how tight she is… how warm… how wet… how sweet…

Fuck me… I'm only human and I can't fucking resist any more.

I felt like a predator as I stalked across the room towards her. My hands gripped her arms tightly as I pushed her back against the wall. Effectively trapping her. My lips didn't hesitate to claim what was mine. The kiss was demanding, my tongue entered her mouth without permission and roamed around. I wanted to taste every inch of her. Her hands scrambled up my arms and immediately went into my hair, fisting it in her tiny hands.

We kissed passionately, my hands moving to cushion her head and support her ass. Her shapely legs swung up and wrapped around my waist, trapping my massive erection between the two of us. I cupped her ass in my hand, kneading the ample flesh there. Fuck, her ass is perfect. Her hips shifted against my erection, drawing a low moan from the back of my throat.

I dropped my other hand down to her ass, pulling her against me more urgently. Fuck, I want to fuck her now. I _need_ to fuck her now. I pulled my lips from hers, searching her face for any signs indicating she didn't want this as much as I did. All I saw was raw lust.

Without even thinking, I pulled away from the wall and tossed her onto the bed. She bounced along the surface, her tits hopping up and down unrestrained under her shirt. I yanked my shirt over my head and crawled up the bed towards her. Greedy fingers skimmed up her smooth legs, leaving a wake of gooseflesh. I couldn't help but drop a few kisses here and there. On a freckle, on the inside of her knee, on her protruding hipbone.

Her tank top rolled up her stomach with the motion of my hands. My tongue found her bellybutton, and my teeth yanked on the little barbell pierced through it. I sucked on the skin of her soft belly as my fingers crept up her shirt, the tips of them encountering the soft underside of her breasts.

"You should tell me to stop." I groaned, not really meaning it. Her fingers wove through my hair as she sighed.

"I don't want you to." She replied, her voice raspy with desire. I lifted my head and maintained eye contact as my hands crawled up her shirt and cupped her perfect boobs in my hands. They were so warm and _soft. _Unlike the beach balls my wife sports.

I pulled myself up her body, making my face level with her heaving chest. My mouth watered at the sight of her little nipples showing through her top. Fuck, her shirt really is see-through. Like a magnet, my mouth was drawn to her chest.

My lips kissed her nipple softly, causing her hips to lift up off the bed seeking friction. I pressed my hips down on hers firmly and darted my tongue out to tease her flesh through the cotton of her shirt. I stared up at her, watching her reaction, as I sucked her peak into my mouth. Her lips parted as she let out a strangled moan, her eyes rolling back into her head.

I maintained eye contact as I scraped my teeth against the tightened flesh, and then proceeded to rapidly flick my tongue over the hardened peak.

"Oh god, Edward." She sighed through her panting breaths as I switched my attentions to her right breast. , I moved my thumb up to toy with her left nipple as my lips sucked her right one. A soft whimper left her lips as her legs wrapped around my waist, her pelvis rocking against mine forcefully.

I glanced up at her quickly before flipping her now completely see-through shirt up over her chest. I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth as my eyes quickly scanned over her chest. Round and perky with small dusky nipples. Fucking perfect.

I rubbed my dick into her furiously as my lips, tongue, and teeth attacked her naked flesh. Worked into a fucking frenzy, I switched between both of her tits rapidly, and then buried my face between them as my fingers twisted and tweaked her hard nipples. Bella's back arched off the bed as her stomach clenched and twitched with her orgasm.

I sat back on my haunches almost immediately after, trying to put some distance between us. _It's okay_, I kept telling myself, _you can stop at any time. You're in control. _

"N-no…" Bella whined, grasping the front of my sleep pants in order to prevent me from retreating any farther. I stared down at her, my eyes clouded with arousal. There's no way I'm going to be able to resist her.

"I'm going to hell…" I murmured as I got up off the bed to lock the door. That would be just great if Charlie walked in on me having my way with his kid.

I made my way back to the bed and grasped Bella around the ankle. Her body easily slid down the bed with one yank. I roughly pried her hands away from her tits, exposing them to me again, and then yanked her shorts and panties off in one go. Her knees immediately separated, gifting me with the sight of glistening pink flesh. I couldn't help but palm my dick as I fell to my knees before her, intending to worship her.

I pressed a kiss against the soft skin of her inner thigh and had to wrench her legs open again as they tried to clamp shut around my head. "So wet…" I murmured before teasing her tight opening with my tongue. A string of moisture followed my tongue as I pulled it away from her center.

"God Edward, I've already…" Came her muffled voice from underneath her hands.

"I know." I replied cockily, still in awe that I had made her cum just by sucking her nipples and dry humping. I wonder how easy it will be to accomplish that with my mouth?

Her legs flinched underneath my hands as I lapped my tongue through her folds from her small opening to her tiny swollen clit. "Has anyone kissed you here?" I pried, taking a moment to suck one of her bare outer lips into my mouth. Her hips wiggled around, trying to find that friction she desperately needed.

"No." She sighed as she propped herself up on her elbows. Her eyes looked almost wistful as I glanced up at her with a frown. Why hasn't anyone thought of her pleasure? Certainly boys her age know oral sex is important for girls as well…

"Well, then I'll just have to show you how it's done." I stated, pinching the skin of her inner thigh between my teeth.

"Why are you teasing me?" She begged, lifting her hips. Your wish is my command, baby. I teased her little clit softly before diving in completely. I lapped at the hardened nub with the flat of my tongue and pressed her knees up into her chest. I was right, she tastes delicious.

I switched from hard laps to twists and twirls of the tip of tongue around her clit, pushing and nudging it as I furiously ate her out. Her chest was heaving with her panting breaths as her hands fisted in my hair and held me in place. With a final lick, I clamped down on her clit with my teeth, and then sucked the little nub into my mouth.

I dropped her leg in order to tease her wet entrance with a single finger. Circling it slowly before easing just the first knuckle in and out. With the hood of her little clit pulled back, I lapped my tongue against the exposed nerves and worked my finger deeper inside of her.

Teasing her some more, I blew on her wet flesh before slipping my single digit all the way inside her. Her slippery walls tensed and gripped my finger tightly, making it almost impossible not to whip my dick out as I finger fucked her. I curled my finger upwards and rubbed against her g-spot, making her hips lift off the mattress and her head thrash from side to side.

My other hand struggled to pull my pants partway down my hips, and immediately started pumping my dick in time with the pounding of my fingers.

Bella suddenly sat up with a gasp and wrapped me up in her arms, kissing me fiercely. "Bella what—" I tried to say, but she forced my lips shut with her own and wrapped her legs around my waist.

My dick throbbed against the warm skin of her pussy. It felt so fucking good. I let out a groan and dropped my forehead to her shoulder to watch as I guided the length of my dick up and down her pussy. Bella's teeth sank into my shoulder as I pressed the head of my dick against her clit. "Please, Edward." She whined, running her feet over the back of my thighs and raising her hips. I let out a sigh. _I'm in control. I can stop any time that I want. _

"You _really _should tell me to stop now." I forced out, not wanting to stop but needing to give her the option. She shook her head and raised her hips again, rubbing the hot flesh of her pussy against the head of my dick.

"I'm not a virgin." She whispered against my neck as she peppered my skin with kisses and sucked it into her warm mouth. She's really testing my control. I groaned and flexed my hips into her, putting pressure on her throbbing clit.

Her hand dropped down to where I was gripping the base of my dick, trying to make sure it didn't slip inside of her. She was being so persistent, and I'm still on the fucking wall about fucking her. Her fingers pried mine away and took my shaft in hand. She guided it to her sopping entrance and used her feet to push my ass forward. I tried to resist, I really did. But as the head of my dick slowly slipped inside her, the fight in me sort of drained out.

With my hips flush against hers and her silky walls gripping me tightly, she leant up and pressed a kiss against my chin and lifted her hips up to undulate against me. Sighing in defeat, I looked down at her almost afraid of what she was capable of doing to me. Of convincing me to do.

I was right to be worried about control. With her legs wrapped around my hips and my dick buried inside her, I had none.

"Fine." I snapped, pissed that she pushed me to this point. "But you asked for it." I gripped her thighs tightly and pulled them over my shoulders. I'm going to fuck her until she can't remember her name. And then I'm going to fuck her again. "Do we need a condom?" I asked through clenched teeth. I slid out of her a little, and then pushed back in with some force. Better late than never.

"N-no. I'm on the shot." She groaned, her eyes rolling back into her head. I immediately started grinding and rocking my hips into hers, taking her hands and pinning them above her head. I dropped my head down against her shoulder and just relished in the feeling of her warm pussy sucking my dick.

I was surprised when Bella shifted me onto my back, then pinned _my _hands over my head. She swiveled her hips against me, making me throw my head back and moan at the sensation of her walls tightening around my cock. Her chest was pressed against mine briefly, our sweat mingling, before she sat up and placed her hands against my chest. She adjusted her legs before sitting on my dick again. Loving the feeling of her sliding up and down my length, I gripped her hips in my hands and guided her as she bounced up and down on my cock.

Wanting to adjust the angle, I sat up and tangled my hands in her hair. Our breaths were mingling as we kissed each other frantically, my hips slamming against her ass with each thrust. Bella's nails bit into my back as her orgasm crashed over her, her pussy clenching and unclenching with each wave of pleasure.

Needing to switch positions again, I flipped her onto her back and scrambled off the bed. Pulling her leg until her ass was almost hanging off the bed, I pushed inside of her and gripped her raised legs for some leverage. Looking down at the angel spread out before me, I couldn't help but wonder how I got so lucky. This beautiful girl wants me just as much as I want her.

Her foot took me by surprise as it nudged me backwards. Bella quickly scrambled off the bed and stood before me, her lip captured between her teeth.

"What? Did you hear something?" I asked, shooting my eyes towards the locked door and then towards my sleeping kids. She shook her head as she sauntered towards me, her hips swaying softly.

"Did you change your mi—" She cut me off as she fell to her knees in front of me and took my dick into her warm mouth. "Mmmm." I grumbled, my hand lifting to scratch the back of my head.

"Bella, you don't have to…" I whispered, running the fingers of my other hand through her soft hair. She moaned around my dick and the feel of it made my head fall back and my lips let out a soft groan. My dick hit the back of her throat repeatedly as she sucked me in and out of her mouth, her soft hands pumping the part that wouldn't fit.

My head fell forward to watch her lips slide up and down my dick, my balls tightening when she tickled her tongue on the underside of the head. My hands fisted her hair as I jerked my hips, fucking her face wildly. Bella's dark eyes met mine causing my abs to tighten and my dick to twitch against her tongue.

My orgasm completely fucking blindsided me and I was a little bit embarrassed that I came in a matter of minutes. She was just that good. I felt extremely guilty as I watched her face contort as she forced herself to swallow my cum.

I dropped my hands to her face and slid my fingers over her soft cheeks before yanking her up by her armpits. My lips claimed hers almost immediately, my tongue slipping into her mouth and twining with hers.

"Wow…" I sighed after we had separated. "That was… wow." It was. I knew she would be the best sex of my life. And I wasn't wrong. She smirked up at me and wrapped her arms around my waist, kissing my ribs softly.

"It was." She sighed, feathering her fingers down my spine. A shiver passed through my body as I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and looked down at her, my fingers combing through her messy hair.

"We should really go to sleep now." I said softly, "We've already pushed our luck enough." She nodded, pressing another kiss into my ribs.

I chuckled as I watched her push her tank top down over her boobs and then gave her ass a little swat as she bent over the bed to search for something. The view she gave me was spectacular. I couldn't help but press my naked pelvis against her ass and reach around to cup her throat and turn her face towards mine.

"Next time I take you." I whispered against her cheek, my dick stirring against her ass. "I'll have you in this position so I can bounce that sexy ass against my pelvis." She shuddered as I slipped my fingers inside her warm, wet pussy.

I just couldn't resist flipping her over and burying my face between those shapely thighs.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

I fucked her last night. And then I ate her out this morning. I'm out of fucking control.

Now she's testing me again, and I'm failing. My hands just couldn't resist squeezing her ass as she kissed my son goodbye. Her perfect round ass. I just want to smack it and then grind my hard dick against it.

"My parents are on the other side of the car." Bella growled quietly. I just shrugged unapologetically and looked down her shirt. Her tits looked fantastic in the v-neck she was wearing.

Bella's lips quirked into a smirk, before she wrapped me up in a hug. My arms slowly slid around her little body, pressing and rubbing her perky boobs against my chest. She stood up on her tiptoes, and her lips touched my ear as she whispered into it.

"I won't be 16 forever…" her sultry voice stated, her fingers combing through the hair at the nape of my neck. "Tell me you'll come for me when I turn 18."

I pulled away from her quickly, my eyebrows rising at her request. How can she ask me to do that? Who knows if she'll even want me in two years! I shook my head at her dismissively and made my way over to Renee and Charlie to say my goodbyes.

Charlie promised me a men's fishing trip while Renee asked me not to be a stranger. I hugged Charlie and kissed Renee's cheek, feeling guilty about just dismissing their daughter like I did.

Its best not to let her get her hopes up. That's what destroyed me after all.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

The drive home was terrible. Brody and Gavin whined the entire ride home, neither of them getting any sleep. All I wanted to do was fall face first into my bed and take a nap.

I pulled into the driveway and cut the engine, noting that Tanya's BMW wasn't in the driveway. Thank god for small favors.

The front door swung open and the putrid smell of alcohol and pestilence hit me in the face like an invisible wall. I stepped through the threshold and flipped on the foyer lights, my eyes taking in the mess that she made of our house.

Furniture was overturned. Our TV had a growth in the form of a fire poker sticking out of the screen. Bottles of alcohol were strewn all over the floor, some in pieces. And right by the front door sat 7 big, black garbage bags.

I strode towards them, shaking my head in dismay. Pulling one closer to me, I peered inside of it and my mouth fell open in shock. Feeling completely devoid of emotion, I scooped up the miniature chucks. They were so small that both of them fit on my palm. These were most definitely not mine.

Tanya wasn't just kicking _me _out. She was kicking the kids out too.

* * *

**Woah, that was a lot of material. I was listening to a lot of Lana Del Rey while writing this… can you tell?**

To those who complained about short chapters: satisfied?

To those who called E creepy: still creepy?

How about Tanya, what do you think? And Renee?

I'm too tired to be writing anything funny in this A/N. I hope you guys liked it! I'm going to start updating once a week every wednesday. So you'll get more Bella on Wednesday.

Thanks for reading.

**xoxo**


	12. Chapter 11

**Hey guys**!

**Now that you've had your look into DILFward's head we can just jump right back in where we left off! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I tried to answer any questions or comments anyone had. **

**Also, special thanks to my girl Rachel for reading this over for me before I posted it. You da best. **

**Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight series character. I own the plot. **

* * *

High school seemed to pass by like a blur of constant activity. Before I knew it, it was time for me to graduate.

"Just one more picture, baby doll!" Mom begs as I storm towards the cafeteria where all of my classmates are gathered. "It's not every day that my little girl graduates high school!" No, but it is every day that I want to punch you in the face for being so fucking annoying.

"One more… and then I really need to go inside, Mom." Mom just continues vibrating with excitement and snaps several pictures, completely disregarding the fact that I told her to just take one.

"That's enough, Renee." Dad says with a chuckle. He gently pries the camera away from her white-knuckle grip and motions for me to move along. I give them a quick wave and promise to meet them by one of the planters in the courtyard after this whole debacle is over.

As I open the doors to the cafeteria, I'm almost knocked back onto my ass by some kid I've never even met before as he makes a speedy exit. After taking a second to get my wits about me, I step uncertainly into the cafeteria. The room is swarming with students and is deafeningly loud. A gun could go off and nobody would even notice.

Forcing a smile, even though I feel panicked by the sheer amount of people, I make my way to the back of the line. We're all arranged alphabetically, and I'm supposed to be sitting next to the Stanley twins during the ceremony.

"BELLA!" Jess cries as soon as I take my spot behind her and Lauren. "OH MY GOD WE MADE IT!" My lips pull up into a sad smile as I slip my arms around both of them for a group hug.

"I still can't believe we're going to different schools in the fall! What am I going to do with out you guys?" I cry with a pout firmly placed on my face, my arms squeezing them to me tighter. I really don't know what I'm going to do without them… We've been inseparable for so long. I'm not even sure I know how to make new friends.

"I don't know." Lauren murmurs sourly, "Spend time with Rosalie and Emmett." I jerk away from her with a scowl firmly placed on my face.

"Hey!" I cry, batting at her arm so she'll look at me. "Don't get all testy with me! You both got offers to play for Miami but you turned them down to go to Florida State!" Jess pouts her lips while Lauren just shrugs.

"I don't want to be so close to home." Lauren offers up as an explanation.

"Well then stop being so rude to me about all of this. We could all be going to the same school, but instead you chose to go to the one that's 8 hours away from me!" Lauren shrugs again, her eyes focusing on a spot above my head.

"Hey! At least we're staying in Florida! Not like Angela and Ben… and your boyfriend." Jess says in a chipper voice. "I still can't believe Jay is leaving you. Stanford is just so far away… I don't know how it's going to work." It's not. I'm surprised its worked out for this long…

"It'll be okay." I mutter, avoiding eye contact as I adjust my cap. Jasper and I have been fighting about what to do for the past month. He insists on trying to make the long-distance relationship thing work. I think we need to break up. There is going to be so much distance between us and staying together will cause more harm than good. He shouldn't be spending his first year of college worrying about what I'm doing.

"How can you be so casual about this whole thing? You and Jay are perfect together! I'm surprised you guys aren't married yet!" Jess exclaims, her hands flapping around exaggeratedly. I roll my eyes and lean down to adjust the strap on my nude wedges. Married… to Jasper? No fucking way. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life being suffocated by his sweetness and understanding. We don't even fight. Every time I try to disagree with something he says, he immediately backs down and agrees with me. Its like he doesn't even have his own opinions!

"Surprised who isn't married yet?" Jasper asks from behind me. His arms slide around my waist and his head drops to my shoulder. "Hey baby." He murmurs, dropping a kiss on my neck.

"Us." I reply simply, patting his hands that are folded over my belly. Jasper chuckles against my temple and drops his arms to his sides.

"No wedding yet. At least not that I know of." I meet Lauren's eyes, silent communication passing between the two of us. Ever since Angela and Ben started dating, Laur has become my confidant. She even knows about Edward and my suspicions concerning his unpleasant motives for having sex with me.

"Lets not get too ahead of ourselves, Jess." Lauren says, patting Jess's head like she's her little pet. Jess ducks out from under her sister's hand and glares at it menacingly before turning around with a huff.

"Great, look what you did now!" Jasper exclaims with a laugh. "Jess—if it makes you feel better I'll propose to Bella right here, right now!" I grit my teeth and match Laur's hot stare with a panicked look of my own.

"That won't be necessary, Jay." Laur says as she tugs on one of Jess's springy curls. "Jess's feelings get hurt so easily. That means she gets over things faster than a normal person would. It's one of her many talents." Jess looks over her shoulder with a small smile.

"Are you saying I'm talented?" Jess whispers, her face not hiding the glee she's feeling from receiving a compliment from her usually critical twin sister.

"See." Laur says to Jasper before she beams at Jess. "Of course you're talented! If I'm talented, then you are too. You _are _my clone after all." Jess pauses, seeming to be trying to process whether or not to be offended or flattered.

"Mr. Hale." Mr. Banner bites out, his arms crossed over his chest. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I swear during rehearsal you were standing behind Kevin Greene." Jasper's face hardens as he takes a step away from me.

"Yes, sir. I was just about to head over there." Mr. Banner nods at him and motions for him to move along. I would be cranky about how Mr. Banner just treated Jasper, but I'm sort of grateful. Now that I'm no longer in Jasper's presence, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

"What is _up_ with you guys?" Jess asks haughtily, glancing over my shoulder to watch Jasper walk away.

"Nothing, why?" I reply a little too quickly. Jess fixes me with her signature 'I'm not buying it' stare that usually results in people spilling their guts to her. "What?" I say, barely containing my amusement. She's just too much when she wants to know something.

"Are you guys fighting?" Jess prods, crossing her arms over her chest.

"We never fight." I reply truthfully, rolling my eyes. Laur snorts and adjusts her stance. She's now standing in a way that immediately tells me she's just watching this all go down. Traitor.

"Well that's good." Jess says hesitantly, looking between Laur and I with a confused expression.

"Yeah, if you want a doormat for a boyfriend." Lauren says with a shrug. I gape at Laur, pissed that she just blurted out the problem. Now everyone is going to know about our relationship problems! Jess's eyes snap to mine, her stare is probing.

"Is that how you feel, Bella?" Jess asks. I turn my face away and straighten my robes.

Don't confirm. Don't confirm. She'll tell everyone about all of this and it'll just break Jasper's heart.

"I promise I won't say anything." Jess pleads, "You're my best friend, Bella! You can trust me."

Of course, she had to pull the best friend card. Now I'm feeling guilty because I don't trust her. I'd rather tell her this than any of the other secrets I've kept from her. I can't imagine how she'd react if I told her about Edward.

"Yes." I sigh, refusing to meet Jess's eyes.

That's exactly how I feel.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"Bella, just loosen up! It's the last party before we all leave for school! Your dad won't crash it." Jess assures me as we park a ways down the street from the party. There are cars parked all down the street, and only one car parked in the driveway.

"I don't have a good feeling about this." I mutter, unbuckling my seatbelt.

"Nobody ever goes into a party feeling good. They only start feeling good when they're drunk, Bella." Jess laughs, hopping out of the car. I step out after her hesitantly and watch as she adjusts her boobs until they're spilling out of her top.

"I don't know why you have to dress like that." Jess laughs, nodding her head in my direction. I scrunch my brows together and glance down at what I'm wearing. A white bodycon tank top, studded and frayed black jean high-waisted shorts, gray thigh-high stockings held up by a black garter belt, and black combat boots. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" I huff, straightening the garters that are exposed on my thighs.

Jess sucks her teeth and looks me over, her eyebrows raised. "Nothing… If you want people to think that you're a hipster." I scoff at Jess and gesture to my outfit.

"What about this outfit screams hipster?" Jess snickers and shakes her head.

"_Everything_ about that outfit screams hipster." I roll my eyes at her and start off towards the house. The yard is pristine and the blinds are shut. If I didn't already know a party was going on, I wouldn't suspect anything.

"She's got a point. Who wears tights and boots during the summer, Bella?" Laur says with a laugh. I huff and flip my hair over my shoulder.

"I'm not a hipster! I listen to Y100 and Power 96! They play Top 40, not stupid Indie shit!" I exclaim, fussing at them haughtily.

"Chill!" Jess laughs, "We're just fucking with you." I roll my eyes at her and step onto the porch. "Ever since you got a tumblr you've been so moody… but you've become way more fashionable. I like your watch by the way." I glanced down at my watch before smiling up at her.

"Thanks, it's Michael Kors!" Jess reaches out for my arm but Laur smacks her hand away.

"This isn't fucking Style Network! Get your asses inside!" Jess glares at Laur, but I shrug it off and open the door. Despite it's quiet façade, the party is extremely rowdy inside.

Laur ushers us to the back of the room, where we dig cheap canned beer out of a cooler. I don't know why they didn't just use a fridge like normal people do… but I'm not going to complain. My beer is cold and goes down as easy as a Natty Light can.

"Hey Bella!" Some girl yells, wrapping me up in a hug.

I pat her back awkwardly and mouth to Jess "Who the fuck is this girl?" over the girl's shoulder.

"Jay's been looking for you! He's out back." I nod at her and tip my beer in her direction as she backs away from me slowly before turning and joining a group of younger kids on the other side of the room.

"Who was that?" Laur asks. Her pale eyebrows are pulled together over her amused baby blue eyes.

"I don't even know…" I murmur before taking another sip of my beer.

"That's Cammie. She's on the cheerleading team. Sophomore I think?" I pull my beer can away from my face and gape at Jess.

"Sophomore? The fuck is she doing here!" Jess just shrugs and squishes her lips to the side.

"Tyler must have invited her…" I shoot Laur a disapproving look, which she counters with a glare. Lauren and Tyler have been hooking up on and off secretly for a few months now. They aren't dating, but when they're on they're faithful to each other. Judging by Laur's blasé reaction, they're on an off period.

"I'm gonna go find Jasper." I say, patting Laur's back before weaving through the groups of kids to the sliding door. The back yard is a decent size considering this house is a land lot. There's an in-ground pool, a patio set, and a tall wooden privacy fence that blocks all of us from their neighbor's view. I find Jasper on the patio, rolling up a joint with Tyler, Mike, and CJ.

"Hey babe." Jasper smirks at me lazily, running his finger underneath the garter on my left thigh. "You look sexy as hell." His eyes lift to mine, and I can immediately tell that he's stoned out of his mind.

"What're you doin' out here?" I ask, combing my fingers through his hair. He's been growing it out longer and it's so damn soft. I can't deny that my boyfriend is gorgeous, despite his aggravating pushover personality.

"Just chilling, babe." Jasper sighs, leaning his head into my hand. Then—as an after thought—he adds: "They're smoking… but not me." Right, and I'm not drinking this beer.

It's not that I hate when people smoke, I just hate when _Jasper_ smokes. Weed makes him clingy one minute, then frightened and paranoid the next. Plus he's a lightweight and when he smokes too much he starts hallucinating. It's just not a good idea.

"Yeah right. You're fucked up, I can tell." I laugh bitterly, shaking my head.

"No, I'm just drunk. That's all baby!" I roll my eyes at him and cross my arms across my chest.

"You're high as fuck. Go to the bathroom and check in the mirror! Your eyes are bloodshot!" Jasper's chin falls to his chest and his hands come up to tangle in his hair. He lets out a sigh before he picks up his head and scrubs his hands over his face.

"You're right baby. I'm high." And like that he gives in, yet again. He doesn't even try to fight me back. He doesn't even try the _I'm jus tired babe_ excuse or the _I was swimming in a chlorinated pool_ excuse or the _I have pink eye_ excuse. He just fucking gives up. "I'm sorry… Just… sit please." Jasper pleads, gripping my thigh. I've had enough of this. I can't stand another minute of his pleading and whining. We're all leaving for school tomorrow. This is my last chance to end this. I need to do this the right way—in person—not over the phone. I know if I don't do this now, I'll end up breaking up with him that way.

Jasper deserves more than an over-the-phone break up.

"Jasper, no." I sigh, pushing his hand away from my leg. "Can we… can we talk?" I ask, peering down at his forlorn face.

"I thought we were talking?" Jasper whimpers, a frown marring his pretty features. I sigh and work my fingers through my hair in frustration.

"We are… I just meant… like alone. In private." Jasper dips his head and stands up.

"Yeah… baby, okay." I bite my lip and follow him as he leads me around the other side of the house. He finds a dark, secluded spot and leans up against the side of the house. "What did you want to talk about?" He asks, propping a foot up on the wall behind him and crossing his arms across his chest.

"I just… maybe this isn't the best time to discuss this… never mind." I start to walk off but Jasper yanks me back by my wrist.

"What is it?" Jasper pleads. He hates it when I tell him never mind. He thinks its me not communicating with him. But honestly, his form of "communication" is worse. Me voicing my opinion, him saying half of his opinion, me telling him he's wrong, and then him admitting he's wrong even if there's a chance that he is—in fact—right. So frustrating.

"Jasper… this isn't… I can't do this anymore." Jasper stares down at me with a blank look on his face.

"Do what?" He asks, wanting me to spell it out for him.

"This." I say, gesturing between the two of us. The way his face falls makes me want to take it all back. But I can't because I really need this. I've been forcing myself to stay with him for a year just because I couldn't stand hurting him. He needs to be free so he can find someone who actually appreciates how sweet he is.

"What?" Jasper whimpers, pushing off the wall to cup my face. "I thought we were good? I thought that… I thought… fuck." I force my eyes away from his hurt face and take a deep breath. "Tell me that I heard you wrong, baby. Tell me, please." This is so hard. Why didn't I just wait until later to do this?

"You didn't hear me wrong, Jasper." I say after a pregnant pause. Jasper drops his hands from my face and takes a step back into the wall.

"But…" He sniffles, "But I love you!" I squeeze my eyes shut and palm my face. This was such a bad idea. Why did I have to do this now? He's fucking _crying_ at a party! I knew he would cry. I fucking _knew _it.

"I love you too." I hear myself say, "But I'm not _in love_ with you."

"That's a load of crap!" Jasper suddenly explodes off the wall, his chest rising and falling rapidly in ragged pants. His face is inches from mine and I can see the tears still wet on his cheeks and glistening in his eyelashes. "It's always the same! _It's not you, it's me!_" He imitates a high-pitched voice. "_You're so sweet and nice, you'll find the right girl in no time._" He finger quotes. "_I'm so stupid for letting you go. I know I'll regret it later._" He finishes with his arms crossed over his chest. "Are you going to say those to me too?" He asks, dipping his head so he can make eye contact with me.

"No." I sigh, "No, I'm not. You deserve to hear the truth from me." Jasper nods and motions with his hand for me to continue. "There's no passion here for me. I just… haven't been feeling it for a long time now. I just can't keep either of us locked down in this relationship when I know that if I don't end it now, I will want to in the near future. I'd rather do it face-to-face so I can make sure you hear me out and understand my reasoning." Jasper's jaw tightens and his eyes flick away quickly. He lets out a deep breath before meeting my eyes again, his filling up with tears.

"Is there someone else?" He asks in a weak voice. I sigh and wrap my arms around him.

"No, Jasper. There's no one else." His shirt smells so good and his hands feel comfortable as they settle on my shoulder blades.

"Okay." He sighs against my hair. "Alright, it's okay." I nod into his chest and squeeze him to me tighter. "Can we just… stay friends please?" His voice is barely over a whisper.

"Yeah, of course." I mumble into his chest. "You're one of my best friends, Jasper. I can't just stop talking to you."

"Alright, just… I know we're not dating anymore, and sometimes it ends up being weird for girls… to stay friends and all… I just can't stand losing you any more than I've already lost you…"

I pull my head away from his chest and flash him a small smile. "Jasper, you're never going to be able to get rid of me."

Jasper's lips pull up into a smirk as he nudges my face with his shoulder. "Good."

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"What was your room number again?" Mom asks from around the pillow she's holding for me.

"Umm… 626." Mom huffs and stops in the middle of the hall. "What are you doing?" I sigh, shuffling the box I have in my arm so I can stand comfortably.

"We're going the wrong way! These hallways are so damn confusing!" I roll my eyes at mom and shove in front of her to lead the way.

"Excuse me!" Comes a voice from behind me. I turn my head to look at the strikingly attractive man who has just called out to me. "My daughter, Alice, is in 626… it's just down this way." He gestures to the hallway that he's standing by. Mom gives the man a quick once-over and quirks an eyebrow at me. I roll my eyes at her and follow behind dad, who has already struck up a conversation with him.

"This is it!" The man says, gesturing to the door in front of him. "Oh I'm Leo Brandon, by the way!" We all nod at him—seeing as our hands are full of my stuff—and he knocks on the door.

It swings open to reveal a tiny girl who doesn't even look old enough to be in high school, let alone college. "Alice, your roommate's here!" The girl yells and beckons us into the dorm. "Hi, I'm Fin." She says with a shy smile.

I smile back at her and lug my shit into the room. The left side is already overflowing with all of Alice's shit, so I just throw the box in my arms onto the bed on the right side of the room and motion for my parents to do the same. Alice's back is turned to me as she attaches a photo board onto the wall. She appears to be just as small as Fin is, with straight shoulder-length black hair that has been dyed to do the ombre effect on the ends.

"Sorry!" She laughs, turning around to face me with an apologetic smile. "We're not allowed to put nails in the walls so I've had to rig all of these picture boards with puffy tape! I'm Alice! You must be Isabella!" She hops down from her bed and envelopes me in a huge hug.

"It's alright." I laugh, patting her back uncomfortably. She pulls away and licks her lips before making the introductions.

"So, that's my little sister Finley and my dad Leo. And my little brother Griffin—Fin's twin—and my dad's partner Baxter are downstairs with the car." She smiles gleefully and motions to my parents over my shoulder. "Are those your parents?"

"Oh, yeah." I nod. "This is my mom Renee and my dad Charlie. I'm an only child… so it's just us!" Alice smiles at them and wraps them both up in hugs.

"It's so nice to meet you!" She exclaims, practically vibrating with excitement.

"It's nice to meet you too, sweetheart. Where abouts are you all from?" Dad aims his question at Leo as he helps me situate my lamp on my desk.

"We're from Laguna Beach, California." Leo replies as he stocks water bottles into our mini fridge. "How about you guys?"

"Wow! That's so nice! Remember that show you were obsessed with on Mtv, Bella?" I roll my eyes at my mom and nod.

"We're from the Florida Keys. Key Largo to be more specific." Leo widens his eyes and smiles.

"Oh, I absolutely _adore_ the Keys! Baxter and I try to make a trip down to Key West at least once every few years. That place is just _insane_." Dad worries his bottom lip and nods.

"Yeah, Alice mentioned you have a partner. What sort of business are you guys in?" Leo pauses and shoots Alice a worried look, which she immediately wipes away with a wave of her hand.

"Oh, not like that, Charlie. Partner… as in Life Partner." Dad's face flames with his embarrassment. I should have known that he was going to misinterpret that.

"Oh. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. That's great!" Dad recovers quickly. Alice and I make eye contact and smile knowingly. My poor ol' embarrassed dad making a fool out of himself, yet again!

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

After we got everything settled in, mom and dad propose going to dinner with Alice's family. They all agree, except for Griffin. He's acting like a typical sullen preteen.

We end up going to Cheesecake factory, because Baxter insists on celebrating with a delicious dessert. Dad doesn't object, even though I know he isn't a fan of cheesecake.

After we all share two cheesecakes among us, our parents drop both Alice and I off at the dorms and head out to give us time alone.

"So, do you have a boyfriend?" Alice asks from her spot on her bed. I bite my thumbnail and frown.

"I did. I just broke up with him, though." Alice pouts and opens her arms up, offering a hug. "It's alright. I'm not too beat up about it. What about you?"

"Nahh." She sighs, "I'm not really the dating type. I like the freedom of being single way too much to settle down with anyone right now." I nod at her and flop back on my bed. "Did you play any sports in high school?"

"Nope. I used to dance and play soccer when I was little, but I gave all of that up in third grade." Alice hums and shifts on her bed. "What about you?"

"I was on the cheerleading team and on an All-Star team for a local gym. Nothing too impressive. Just a few competitions here and there, plus the whole football thing."

"Are you going to try out for our cheerleading team?" I asked, shifting onto my side to face her. Alice peers up at me through her long lashes and shrugs.

"I figured I'd go without this year, just to see if I'd rather be a spectator in the stands rather than cheering on the sidelines. I'd like to experience the whole tailgate and go to the game piss drunk for at least one football season." I smirk at her and nod. Football season is definitely something I'm looking forward to.

"Yeah, I feel ya."

"Do you have any friends that are going here?" Alice asks nervously. Her fingers anxiously pick at the material of the blanket thrown across her lap.

"Yeah. My ex-boyfriend's sister Rose and her boyfriend Emmett are sophomores this year. That's about it, though." Alice nods and glances down at where her hands are picking. "Anybody from Laguna follow you down here?"

"Nope." She sighs, looking up at me. "You're my only friend." Oh, that's why she's so nervous. She's scared I'm going to ditch her and go off with my friends.

"Don't worry, you'll love Rose and Em. Especially Em… he's on the football team." I say with a wink. Alice's face immediately lights up.

"Oh my god! Do you think he could introduce me to Peter O'Donnell? He's so fucking HOT!" I throw my head back and laugh along with her.

I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.

* * *

**Hey look, it's Alice! Man, her siblings have weird names.**

**I wish I had something funny to say here… Um… I made the cover for this story myself. So don't bother messaging me if you want to make me a banner or something because, yeah, I did it already. Unless you want to make me one that's better than the one I have. But if you do, it has to be with Ben Affleck as Edward and Emily Ratajkowski as Bella. **

**Oh, and thanks to whoever tipped me off about her. She's fucking gorgeous and has enormous boobies. EVERYONE! Google search that bitch. Most of the pics are of her naked so it'll show you what Bella looks like naked in this story.**

* * *

**Now without further ado… "_Edward's Pants Party: Your Baby Daddy's Juicy Lemisodes"_**

**Lemisode One (This is meant to be E fucking you btw, just to be clear)**

"Hey you!" Edward says as he moves across the room towards you. "What are you doing here?"

"I-I have an invitation… to the pants party." You say, thrusting the invitation towards him. He snatches the card from your hand and his eyes scan it hungrily. His face goes from alarmed to furious in seconds.

"Who sent you this?" He yells, balling the card up in his fist.

"J-Jackie did… she said… that it was cool." Edward's face twitches in anger.

"Jackie? Why would she send you an invitation? I'm not even throwing a party tonight!"

* * *

**...**

**UNTIL NEXT TIME! **

**xoxo**

**(PS: Sorry if you're a dude.)**

**(PPS: Sorry I'm not sorry for leaving you hanging...)**


	13. Chapter 12

**Hey all! Thanks to everyone for their wonderful reviews. I really appreciate all of the love! Also, thanks **OcSickGirl **for prereading for me. You're the best!**

**To all the ladies hating on Ben Affleck: you suck :P Ben Affleck is tall, dark, and handsome. And that's exactly how I described DILFward. I know most of you are picturing Rob Pattinson while reading this but that isn't doing DILFward any justice. He is 6'4", 245 lbs in this fic. RPattz is 6'1", 165 lbs. If you aren't into Ben then Armie Hammer is a perfectly acceptable alternative to what E would look like. Actually, I prefer him to Ben. Anyone seen him in The Lone Ranger? He's SMOKING FUCKING HOT in that. Like unf, dem lips. And that voice. Just google him… and then listen to his voice through like a youtube clip. THAT IS WHAT DILFWARD SOUNDS LIKE.**

**** **EDIT: Before everyone else murders me for being mean to Rob, I relent. If it bothers you so much that I'm trying to describe what I see DILFward looking like, picture whoever TF you want. But I won't apologize for not thinking Rob is attractive. Sorry for trying to give y'all a visual aide. I won't do it again… At least I know now that people read my A/Ns.

**Okay… enough of that.**

**Anyways, I decided to post a day early because I was a day late last chapter… e********njoy and leave me some love… or hate… or whatever… **

**Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight series characters. The plot is mine.**

* * *

"What're you laughing at?" Alice asks from her spot on her bed across the room from me.

"Your face." I reply back, not even looking up as I tap out a response to Jasper's picture. He took an old picture of him and Rose and used the face swap app on it. The resulting image is hilarious and horrifying all at once.

_**Your theory is correct. I would make one sexy chick.**_

I snort in laughter and tap back my response.

**Wow. You're so humble. But really tho… you'd make a fugly chick.**

"Bella!" Alice whines, curling up by my feet on my bed. I place my foot against the side of her face and she jerks away violently, her small fist punching me on the sole of my foot.

"You're such a child!" I laugh, tickling the back of her hands with my toes as she attempts to block her face from my assault.

"Just get your feet away from me!" Comes her muffled voice from behind her hands. I smirk and tuck my legs underneath me.

"I was laughing at a picture Jasper sent me." I say with a sigh, turning my phone so she can see it. Alice's lips pull up into a smirk as she taps her finger on the screen to zoom in on the badly misplaced faces.

"Rose makes a very awkward man." She says, barely containing her laughter. I smirk at her and take my phone back. "You never told me Jasper was so gorgeous." She states in an accusing tone.

"I figured you already knew. I have so many pictures with him on Facebook and I know for a fact that you're a Facebook stalker." Alice rolls her eyes at me then rolls off of my bed.

"Doesn't mean I stalk you." She quips at me over her shoulder.

Touché.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"What's the theme again?" I ask Alice as I peruse my little closet.

"Luau!" Alice shouts from where she's curled up in a little ball on her bed. I purse my lips and cross my arms across my chest.

"So then does that mean I should wear my bathing suit?" I ask, looking over my shoulder just in time to catch Alice's shrug. "What are you wearing?"

"I'm not going, remember? I need to write this paper." She sighs, throwing her arm across her face. I roll my eyes and run over to her bed. She grumbles and tries to push me off when I throw myself onto her. "No, Bella! I'm not going to some stupid lacrosse party!"

"Come on, Alice!" I whine, "A bunch of Em's teammates are having a pregame at Red Road Commons and he invited us to come along! It'll be fun! You can write your paper tomorrow!" Alice huffs and shoves at my shoulder.

"No." She says, but it's not as convincing as her previous no.

"Alllllice." I sing, "It's Friday night! And Peter will be there." Alice huffs again before sitting up.

"Alright. I'll go. But first sign of Peter being interested in another girl and I'm out, okay? I don't like to waste my time." I roll my eyes at her and shove her off the bed. She squeaks in surprise and then glares up at me from her spot on the floor. "You're real mature, you know? How old are you again?" She says as she rights herself.

"Eighteen." I state, hopping out of her bed with a smile. "Now help me pick out my outfit, you slore."

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"HEY BITCH!" Em yells, his face upturned and looking towards the balcony in front of us. "THROW ME DOWN THE KEYS!"

"FUCK YOU, EM! YOU CAN STAY DOWN THERE!" One of the really tall, buff guys yells back from his spot on the balcony. He is one of three guys who are huddled together— sitting on those cheap white plastic chairs— in the small space.

"ALRIGHT!" Em screams, "I'LL JUST STAY DOWN HERE WITH THESE FINE LADIES. THE THREE TO ONE RATIO IS MUCH BETTER THAN THE SAUSAGE FEST UP THERE ANYWAYS!"

The tall guy throws us down his keys.

"Well." Rose laughs, shaking her head in amusement. Em just shrugs and unlocks the front door of the building.

"Who was that?" I ask, following them inside the apartment building. Em heads straight to the bank of elevators and presses the up button.

"That's Damian." Rose replies, her face pinching in displeasure. I guess she doesn't like him… We all step onto the elevator and Em presses the button for the third floor.

"Is Peter here yet?" I ask, flitting my eyes over to where Alice is standing. She's got her arms crossed over her coconut bra clad chest and does not look the least bit amused by my inquiry-and-sly-look combination.

"I dunno." Em laughs, "Why? You sweet on Petey?" He asks, flashing me a dimply smile.

"Nope." I reply coolly. "But I know someone who is." Em smirks at me and then leans around Rose to wink at Alice.

"He has a thing for brunettes with nice asses." Rose slaps Em on the back of his head and gives Alice an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry Alice, Em has no manners." Em just rolls his eyes and mumbles "manners smanners" under his breath.

Alice just smirks at Em casually and runs her tongue over her lips. "Then he'll really love Bella." I grin at her cheekily and blow a kiss in her direction. She smirks back, catches my kiss, and smacks it down onto her ass. I stick my tongue out at her and give her the finger. Little bitch.

The doors of the elevator slide open and Em immediately lopes down the hall. Alice, Rose, and I follow behind him hesitantly, sharing a look between the three of us. It seems like he's become even more immature over the years.

"THE PARTY'S HERE!" Em yells as he throws the apartment door open. Rose follows behind him immediately, a smile painted across her pretty face. Alice and I hesitate in the hallway before we cross the threshold together. Nothing could have prepared us for the mess inside.

Immediately to our left there is what looks like a breakfast nook underneath a mess of crunched up cans, bottles, and pizza boxes. To our right is the kitchen. The sink is piled high with dishes and the counter is cluttered with alcohol bottles and mixers. Hanging from the ceiling is a bright green beer bong with six spouts. The floor underneath it is covered with plastic trash bags, I guess to keep the floor safe from spillage?

Beyond the kitchen and nook is the living room. It's cluttered with various athletic gear and clothes. There's a huge, worn, brown leather couch parked against the wall in front of the tv, which is blasting lesbian porn. Beyond the couch and tv are French doors that lead out to the balcony where three massive guys sit, drinking beers and yelling obscenities down at passerbys.

"Go ahead and grab a beer or something." Em mumbles, making his way to the balcony to give Damian back his keys. Rose leads us into the kitchen, which stinks of beer and pizza.

"I'm not really sure what they have…" Rose says, glancing down at her feet in alarm when they stick to the garbage bags on the floor.

"Just make me whatever you're having." Alice replies with a panicked edge to her voice.

"What about you, Bella?" Rose asks, picking up bottles and inspecting their labels.

"I'll just get myself a beer." I say as I wrench the heavy fridge door open. It almost comes off in my hand as I open it. "What the fuck!" I exclaim in surprise. The fridge door just hangs limply by one hinge and swings and groans under the pressure of all the strange condiments they have stored inside it. I hastily push a bottle of orange soda aside and grab a Bud Light before hefting the door back into place.

"This place is a mess…" Alice laughs, coming to my side to help me lift the heavy door up.

"How the hell did they break this?" I gasp, wiping the sweat up off my brow after we finally put the door back in place.

"The guys that live here are brutes." Comes a deep voice from the other side of the kitchen.

"Oh, hey Peter." Rose says distractedly as she mixes up a drink for Alice and herself. "These are my friends Bella and Alice."

"Nice to meet you." Peter says, nodding his head in our direction.

"It's _so _nice to meet you too." Alice murmurs, her hips swaying hypnotically as she sashays over to where Rose put her drink down. "You don't live here?" She asks, taking a sip out of the red solo cup.

"No." Peter starts, his eyes trailing over Alice's almost completely exposed body before they jump to me as I crack open the top of my beer.

"Sorry." I mumble, my cheeks tinting pink. Peter just waves his hand at me dismissively and gives me a sweet smile. I give him a curt nod and a smile before putting the can to my lips to slurp the excess beer that floats on the top of it.

"It's okay... But, no. I don't live here. This is Damian, James, and Laurent's place."

"That's what Papi's name is?" Rose laughs. "What is it again? Laurence?"

"Laurent." Peter repeats, shaking his head. "Yeah, that's Papi's name."

"Who is Papi?" I ask.

"I'm Papi." A voice booms from the living room. Peter just smirks and motions for us to follow him out into the living room. Alice slinks after him and I wrap my arm around Rose's bicep and drag her behind me as I follow them.

The giant man reclining on the couch nods at us before taking a huge swig out of his beer. "Sup?" He belches out, a big paw reaching up to push his dreadlocks over his shoulder.

"We call him Papi because all the little Spanish girls he dates call him Big Papi." A tall, lanky guy laughs as he emerges from one of the rooms.

"And we call him Butterfingers because he can't seem to catch the ball whenever Petey throws it to him." Papi mumbles, his voice a deep baritone. Butterfingers gives Papi a hateful look and stalks off towards the kitchen.

"Oh hi, James. So nice of you to introduce yourself to my friends!" Rose calls back at Butterfingers over her shoulder.

"Hi, Rose and friends." James yells back grumpily.

"He's got his period." Papi grumbles from his spot on the couch.

"Where's Em?" I ask as I settle myself down next to Papi. The old couch lets out a puff of air as I settle my butt down on it.

"Outside with D and Goose." Papi responds distractedly as he watches the two girls on the tv 69 each other. The wet noises of tongues on clits fill the silence that follows his statement.

"Who is Goose?" I ask no one in particular as Rose heads out the French doors that lead to the balcony.

"My brother." Peter laughs, perching on the arm of the couch next to me. Alice flops down onto my lap and I wrap my arms around her skinny waist. As I settle my chin onto her shoulder I notice Papi giving us the side eye and shake my head.

"Don't even think about it, big guy." I laugh and he smirks before lounging back onto the couch to continue watching the porn.

"Well! I hope I'm not interrupting anything!" A giant man yells as he swings open the French doors and strolls into the room.

"That. Is Goose." Papi mutters, straining his neck so he can see around Goose's robust body.

"Best Friends Forever 3? Such a good flick!" Goose booms, turning so he's blocking the tv with his ass.

"Alright, Garrett. That's enough. You're gonna piss Laurent off and nobody's going to be able to break up any sorta fight you two get into." Peter sighs, running a calloused hand through the golden blond strands of his hair.

"Oh sorry, Papi. Didn't realize I was blockin' your view." Goose laughs unapologetically as he lumbers over to stand next to Peter. My eyes follow his every move. Never before had I seen someone of his size and stature. I always thought Em was huge… but Goose… he's literally a giant. He's probably around the same height as Em, but where Em is all thick, tight muscle Goose is muscle covered in a protective padding of flab.

"What? You've never seen anyone as sexy as I am, sweetie?" Goose laughs, blowing a kiss in my direction. Startling out of my trance, I realize that I've been staring at the shadow of Goose's deep belly button through his white t-shirt.

"Sorry." I murmur, my face filling with blood as I hide it in between Alice's tiny shoulder blades.

"It's 11:30." Em booms as he enters the apartment. "Let's get going!"

"Finish your beer, Bella." Peter murmurs, giving me a flirty smile. Alice huffs and dismounts my lap. "You too, Alice." He adds, winking in her direction. Alice smirks at him and tips her glass in his direction before heading over towards where Rose and Em are standing.

"Go on." Peter says, licking his lips. "Chug it." I meet his glittering blue eyes and lift one side of my mouth before downing the warming beer. Peter's eyes watch my mouth as I lick the few drops that escape onto my lips, his own mouth mimicking the motions of mine.

"You're so sexy." He breathes out, his bottom lip captured between his teeth.

Fuck. He isn't supposed to like me. He's supposed to like _Alice!_

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

The lacrosse party is literally like something out of a movie. Project X to be exact.

When Damian—who grumpily agrees to be the DD—parks his car on the side of the road and leads us all down a long, winding driveway I am instantly confused. But as we get closer to the house, my mouth drops open in surprise. The party is being held at a mansion, with a huge expanse of green grass as a yard and a giant pool out back. Drunken people clutter in the yard, are making out and dry-humping against trees, and are jumping from the roof of the pool house and into the pool. The first floor of the house is packed with sweaty and half-naked gyrating bodies that are moving to the beats produced by a DJ that is positioned on top of a raised platform.

Papi is immediately surrounded by a harem of girls and breaks off from our group to socialize with all of them. James sulks off towards where there is a game of beer pong being played. And Em and Rose disappear into the house. Which left Alice, Peter, Goose, Damian and I outside by the pool.

After thwarting Peter's advances all night, he finally decides it's time to settle for Alice who looks displeased that she's his second choice. But she follows him into the house anyways.

With all of my friends gone, I literally cling to Goose and Damian. D seems a little peeved that I'm all over them and messing with his game. But Goose eats up the attention and sweet talks me into being his beer pong partner.

By the end of the night Goose is sweaty and shirtless and is deeming me his "boo-thang".

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Halloween at the Grove is probably the most frightening yet fun thing I've ever experienced. Frightening because I don't have a fake ID and I'm relying on Em, Peter, and Goose to get me into a bar. Fun because everyone is dressed up in costumes.

"NOBODY CAN SEPARATE A GARDENER FROM HIS HOE!" Em yells, dragging a scantily clad Rose behind him as he skips the entire line waiting to get into Mr. Moe's. "Sup?" He says to the bouncer, slapping hands with him before motioning to all of us behind him. "They're with me." The big man just nods and motions for all of us to head inside.

"Don't you run off, my little playboy bunny." Goose says, honking the fluffy bunny tail I have pinned to my ass. "I'm gonna go get us some drinks." I smile at him and wave him off. Alice and Peter are already leaned up against one of the posts, making out like savages.

"They're sickening." Rose laughs into my ear as she wraps her arm around my shoulder. "Goose is obsessed with you… I never thought you'd go for a fat fuck like him."

"I'm not going for him, Rose." I laugh, jabbing her in the ribs with my elbow. "We're just friends."

"I got you Moose juice, boo-thang. The Goose juice will _come_ later." Goose says with a wink, handing me a huge cup filled with pink liquid.

"What's in it?" I ask, yelling over the music.

"No fucking idea, but it's good!" Goose laughs, taking a huge gulp of his own drink. I shoot a cautionary glance in Rose's direction and she just shrugs back in response.

Fuck it; I'm gonna get wasted tonight.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Emerging from the bathroom for about the millionth time, I adjust the bunny ears on my head and fluff my hair before heading back to where I left Rose, Em, and Goose. Scanning the crowd, I almost trip over myself when my eyes land on the last person I ever thought I'd see in a bar in Miami on Halloween. And he's not alone.

I can feel my already hot cheeks heating up in rage as I storm in his direction. What is he fucking doing here? And what the fuck does he think he's doing talking to Peter?

As I get closer, I can hear snippets of their conversation. They're talking about the Miami Heat and South Beach.

"HEY!" I shout, my face shoulder height to him with the added boost of my tall heels. He turns his face towards me in alarm, his eyes wide with shock.

"Bella. I was just talking to Edward about how much I like Miami better than Tampa." I wave my hand at Peter dismissively, my eyes angrily fixed on Edward's infuriatingly handsome face.

"Yeah, Bella." Edward murmurs sexily. No, not fucking sexily. Aggravatingly. Annoyingly. Rudely. Cockily… Cock… Edward's cock. _NO!_

"Pete. Go find Alice." I bite out, letting my eyes leave Edward's face briefly as I address Peter. Peter just gives me a confused look and saunters off into the crowd.

I let my eyes slide back to Edward's form, taking in his blue button down shirt and dark wash jeans. He looks fuck hot.

"You're not old enough to be here." Edward states as his arms cross over his chest. "Does your dad know about your fake ID?"

"I don't have a fake ID." I growl, trying to tear my eyes away from the light dusting of chest hair and the curly black letters of his tattoo that peek out from the opening at the top of his shirt.

"Sneaky little bunny." Edward laughs, tweaking the tip of my bunny ears affectionately. I immediately jerk away from his touch and fix him with a lethal glare. _If only looks could kill…_

"Don't touch me." I grind out, wrinkling my nose at him in distaste. I bet he's thinking about mom right now. I bet he's going to try and seduce me again so he can get his rocks off while imagining her in my place.

"Um. Okay." Edward laughs uncomfortably, laying his palm back down onto the bar. He lifts his other hand and places the opening of a beer bottle to his lips. I watch—hating myself the whole time—as his Adam's apple sensuously bobs with every gulp he takes.

"You can't talk to him." I spit out, folding my arms across my chest. Edward pulls the beer bottle away from his lips and licks them. His eyes slide over my body slowly, taking in my tight black leotard, thigh-high baby pink silky tights, and black Mary Jane heels before settling back onto my face.

"Talk to who?" He asks, setting the beer bottle back onto the bar.

"Peter." I bite out, shifting my weight so that my hip is leaning against the bar. God I'm so drunk. When did I get so drunk?

"What? Is he your boyfriend?" Edward asks, his lips quirking up into an infuriating smile.

"No." I growl. "But it's a NCAA violation. You're a fucking agent. You can't talk to any college athletes until they've declared for the draft." Edward's smile widens as he picks up his beer again and tosses the rest of it back.

"Oh really?" He says, "Well who is going to tell on me? You? You'll get _Peter_ in trouble, not _me_." I purse my lips at him and huff in aggravation.

"What are you even doing here?" I ask haughtily, pushing away the shot he nudges towards me. I don't need a shot. I've already drank my weight in Moose Juice.

"Just take it, Bella. It's not drugged." I roll my eyes at him and toss back the shot. It's strong and makes my eyes tear up and my mouth tingle. "I live here." Edward responds after a beat as he hands me a lemon. I snatch it out of his hand and bite into it. He watches me pensively as I suck the juice from the lemon before dropping it into my shot glass.

"No you don't. You live in Atlanta." I slur, eyeing him exasperatedly.

"No." He says back. "I moved to Miami. I live on Brickell..." My mouth drops open in surprise.

"What?" I gasp out. "Why did you move here?"

"Because of work." Edward says, motioning to the bartender to get him another beer.

"You were working in Atlanta! You don't need to be in Miami!" I yell over the music. Edward looks surprised and hurt at my outburst.

"Bella… I don't know what this is about… I thought you asked me to come back for you." My blood boils under my skin. Come back? He came back for me? _Right._ He came back for _her._

My fists clench against my thighs, painfully driving my nails into the soft skin of my palms. I have an overwhelming urge to punch him right in his pretty face.

"I may have asked you to come back for me… but that was before I found out that you are a sick fucking bastard." Edward's face morphs into a look of surprise. "How did it feel?" I ask him, unsteady on my feet. I brace my arm against the bar and glare up at him.

"How did what feel?" He shoots back, crossing his arms over his chest after taking a swig of his beer.

"How did it feel when you imagined my mom while you were _fucking_ me?" I spit out, the words leaving a bitter taste on the back of my tongue. Edward's mouth drops open in surprise. "Yeah, I know about that. You're a fucking sick bastard. You make me physically ill. I can't even think about you without wanting to throw up."

Edward's face twists in pain as he drops his beer onto the bar and fists his hands in his hair. "Bella. You've got it all wrong. Let me explain."

"_Bella you've got it all wrong let me explain!_" I drunkenly mock back, flapping my hands around. "Shut up! You don't have ANYTHING to explain to me! _I saw her YEARBOOK!_ I _know_, Edward. I fucking _know_, okay!"

"Bella, stop it. You're making a scene." Alice's voice says calmly from behind me. I jerk away from the arms that wrap around my waist, but then relax back into her chest when I realize they belong to Alice.

"Let's just go." I whine, palming my face. My head's spinning and my knees immediately give out as I realize how fucking drunk I am.

"Peter, help!" Alice gasps as my dead weight falls back into her body. My body is jerked forward and then scooped into strong arms. My face is pressed against a hard and familiar smelling chest. I crack my eyes open and can barely make out the blurry perfection that is Edward's face.

"No!" I cry as my limp hands try to push him away from me.

"Calm down." He murmurs against my temple. I let out a sob and wiggle in his grasp, trying to get as far away from him as possible. My head feels heavy and my neck can hardly keep it upright. It lulls back against Edward's shoulder as my warm tears slide down my temples and into my hair.

"Go away." I slur. "Leave me alone." Edward's hands just tighten around me.

I let out a sigh of relief when I'm placed into the backseat of taxi and away from Edward grasp. "Make sure she gets home alright." He says to whoever is standing outside next to him before he ducks his head back into the cab. "I'll call you tomorrow." He whispers into my ear, his lips dropping a soft kiss on the apple of my cheek.

"No…" I mumble, pushing his face away from me. He doesn't get to do that anymore. He's gross. He's a sicko. He _used me._

"Take us to Stanford Residential College." Alice chirps beside me as she slides into the cab. "Bella, come here." She sighs, pulling my head so it's resting against her shoulder.

"I love you, Alice." I slur out, trying to focus my eyes on her smiling face. I curl my body around her and bury my face between her shoulder and the leather seat her back is resting against.

"I love you too, Bella. You crazy, crazy girl." Alice laughs.

"Just don't throw up in the cab." Peter says from the other side of Alice.

"I won't." I mumble, closing my eyes and letting the alcohol pull me into a deep slumber.

His words bounce around and echo inside my head. _I'll call you tomorrow._ I'll _call _you _tomorrow. I'll call you tomorrow._

And if I remember this tomorrow… I won't fucking answer.

* * *

**Oh hey… didn't see ya there, Edward. **

**Angry Bella is angry. **

**Don't you hate it when you've drank way too much and it suddenly catches up to you? **

**Funny story. I once passed out on my friend's bed with a cup of water resting on the bed between my legs. (And when I say I once… I mean like 3 weeks ago) She woke up in the middle of the night thinking I peed in her bed and tried to get me to tell her whether I did. I was too incoherent to even explain the situation and we just ended up putting a towel down and I slept on that. I woke up the next morning soaking wet and confused cuddling with the empty cup. **

**I actually have more stories like that… too many actually… so embarrassing XD**

* * *

**Now for your weekly installment of "**_**Edward's Pants Party: Your Baby Daddy's Juicy Lemisodes"**_

**Lemisode Two**

"I'm sorry! I can leave if you want!" You say and turn to leave. You didn't realize Jackie's invitation was a huge scam. Edward wasn't throwing a party in his pants and you certainly weren't invited if he was.

"Wait." Edward murmurs, gripping your wrist tightly so you won't leave. "I may not be having a party… but that doesn't mean you have to leave… Jackie sent you here for a reason… why not take advantage of this opportunity." You turn around slowly to face him. He's slowly scanning his eyes up and down your body, fucking looking and liking based off the feral expression he's wearing.

"Was there more invitations sent out like this one?" Edward asks, ghosting his fingers along your arm. You shake your head slowly, not exactly comprehending what he's saying.

"I don't know… what?" Edward smirks and drops his hand from your arm. He takes a step back so he's no longer crowding you.

"Better lock up so no one interrupts our private… party." He says as he walks over to the door and slides the lock in place. "Just to be safe." He adds with a smirk.

* * *

**Private party? Now I'm fucking jealous. I should have gone over to E's place myself instead of sending you all that fake invitation…**

**That's what I get for trying too hard to be funny. :/**

**Until next time (Next Wednesday)**

**xoxo**


	14. Chapter 13

**Happy Hump Day everyone! **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I appreciate the love… and the hate. I like that you all comfortable enough to express your opinions to me freely. I'm totally open to having discussions and taking any suggestions from anyone who wants to talk!**

**Thanks to Rachel and Ocsickgirl for prereading! You guys are the fucking tits!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight series characters. I own the plot.**

* * *

"_Unnf, yeah." Edward pants above me, his sweet breath fanning across my damp face and neck. I lift my hips to meet his thrusts, my fingers twining in the soft hair at the nape of his neck._

"_Mmmm, baby." I moan. I lift my head and cover his neck with hot, open-mouthed kisses. His skin is slick with a sheen of salty sweat. I dart my tongue out to taste it. His Adam's apple bobs underneath my tongue as he swallows and lets out a groan._

"_Oh fuck yeah! You like it when I fuck you deep and hard, baby?" Edward grunts, his voice raspy with pleasure. My eyes roll back into my head as he rocks his hips against mine, his pelvis bumping against my clit with every thrust. _

"_Unngg, yeah Edward. Just like that! Just like that!" I chant, my back arching with pleasure as my hands clench in the bed sheets._

_He is relentless. He slams into me hard and fast, hitting the spot inside me that makes me see stars every time. I stare up into his pale green eyes as my mouth falls open. A cry of pleasure escapes my lips as my walls clench and spasm around his cock. My legs jerk up and capture his rocking hips between them, my voice is hoarse as I call out his name. _

"_Unnhhh, EDWARD!" _

_His hips never stop their thrusting. His eyebrows pull together in concentration; his bottom lip is sucked into his mouth. I clutch at his back, my hands splayed over the defined muscles as they bunch and release with his furious thrusts._

"_Come on, baby." I gasp out, pulling my chest upwards so our skin sticks together. His chest hair tickles and rasps my sensitive nipples. "Fuck me harder." I say because I know he likes it when I'm vocal._

_His hands clench into fists beside my head and his hips jerk wildly. His jaw goes slack and his eyes slide shut. A shuddering breath leaves his lips as he fills me with his come. He buries his face in my sweaty hair and neck and lets out a whimper. _

"_Unnhh, Renee."_

I jolt awake and immediately slap a hand over my mouth to muffle the sounds of my sobs. Why am I crying?

I angrily wipe at the tears that dampen my cheeks and fall back into my bed. My head is pounding and my stomach turns with nausea. I lick my dry lips and wipe at the corner of my mouth. It's crusted over with dried up drool. My dry tongue sticks to my lips and then to the roof of my mouth. I fucking hate cottonmouth. My tongue feels grouchy and tastes like ass. And my spit is thick and slimy at the back of my throat from crying.

"Good morning." Alice chirps as she flounces back into the room wearing a hot pink towel and a smile.

"Not so loud, Alice." I grumble, rubbing at my eyes with the heels of my hands. My head won't stop pounding.

"Sorry." She whispers, dropping her towel to the floor as she changes into her skimpy underwear and pulls on a pair of shorts and a flowy floral print shirt over them.

"What are you getting all dressed up for?" I moan, turning onto my stomach to bury my face into my pillow. The light is so bright… it's bothering my head and eyes.

"We're going out to lunch. My treat." She states as she pulls a brush through her wet hair.

"When did we plan this?" I groan, pulling the pillow over my head. "I don't wanna get up."

"Come on, Bella." Alice sighs, the bed dipping as she sits down next to me. "A little bit of food will set you right." I glare up at her as she pulls the pillow away from my face, but then my eyes snap down to stare at my phone as it vibrates across my bed. A number I don't recognize lights up the screen.

"404? What area code is that?" I ask Alice, sitting up and cradling the vibrating phone in my palms.

"Atlanta." Alice sighs, giving me a look that says _just answer the damn phone_.

Who do I know that lives in Atlanta? And why would they be calling me right now?

Flashes of last night flit across my eyes. They're interspersed with the images of my dream, making it impossible for me to differentiate between dream and reality. The only thing I know for certain is that _Edward _is calling_. _

My thumb can't press the decline button fast enough.

"Bel-la!" Alice groans, flopping back onto my bed. "He just wants to talk!"

"HE!" I yell. The sound of my own voice makes me flinch in pain and rub at my temples. In a calmer manner, I address her again. "How do you know it's a _he _that is calling?"

Alice opens one eye to peer up at me. The lone, blue-gray eye tells me everything I need to know. "You gave him my number didn't you?"

"Yes, but—" I hold my hand up to interrupt her excuse.

"No buts! You gave _him_ my number, Alice!" Her eyes drop down to inspect the ruby red nail polish that adorns her perfectly shaped nails. "You don't even know who he is, Alice!"

"But you do!" She cries. "You know him! It's not like he's a total stranger!"

"If I wanted him to have my number he would have had it already, ALICE!" I yell, struggling to extract myself from my tangled bed sheets. Hangover be damned, I _will_ fight this out with her.

"I'm sorry!" Alice cries, getting up from my bed gracefully to take me on. "But we really need to talk about this!" She sighs. Her eyes flit down towards where my phone lies. I glance down at it as it obnoxiously buzzes, his number lighting up the screen. I huff angrily and press down the lock button, my thumb swiping roughly over the screen to turn it off.

"What does he even _want?_" I gasp out, clutching the knotted and snarled hay sack that is posing as my hair.

"Well if you would have answered you'd know." I fix Alice with a lethal glare and gather up my shower caddy and towel.

"We're going to lunch. Your treat." I grumble as I stalk towards the door.

"Your problems aren't going to go away if you keep ignoring them, Bella!" Alice calls out after me.

"I know this." I hiss back over my shoulder, "If that were the case you would have disappeared a long time ago."

Alice blows me a kiss as I slam the door in her face. Pesky Pixie.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"I can't believe you left your phone at home. Don't you feel like a piece of you is missing?" Alice asks between mouthfuls of soup. I roll my eyes at her and pick at my sandwich. "We're going to have to talk about it sometime." She sighs, tapping her spoon against the ceramic bowl in front of her until I look up. She implores me with the widening of her eyes and motions for me to talk with a flick of her wrist.

"Why do you even care? It's not like it's your problem or anything." I grumble, stuffing a piece of grilled cheese sandwich into my mouth.

"Because I'm your friend and your roommate. I have to live with you while you're in this mood. I want to get down to the bottom of this… whatever it is." I huff in exasperation and run my fingers through my wet hair.

I don't know why she won't drop it. It really is none of her business. If I don't want to talk about it, I don't have to.

But when I think about it… maybe she has a point. With Laur and Ang gone, I'm literally emotionally isolated. I could always call or text them about it, but I feel like I'm being annoying. We put this issue to rest back when I first found the yearbook entry, and now all of it is dredged up again. I don't want to burden them with my drama… Alice is here and she's willing to talk about it. A fresh set of ears won't hurt, will they?

"Okay." I sigh, roughly rubbing my palms over my face. Where do I even start? "Edward is my dad's childhood best friend… and when I was 16 we had sex." Alice's mouth drops open in surprise.

"Wow." She sputters. "I wasn't expecting that… continue?"

I bite my lip and push the ice around in my cup with my straw, refusing to make eye contact as I continue. "At the time I wasn't aware of… any kind of alternative motives he may have other than the fact that he wanted me and I wanted him. But at the end of my junior year… I found this entry in my mom's yearbook. Edward literally proclaimed his undying love to her. Apparently he asked her to run away with him after he and my dad got into this huge fight. The fight was so bad that they had to hospitalize my dad."

"Are you saying…?" Alice trails off, "That you think he slept with you to get back at your mom?"

"Not exactly." I sigh, "I'm saying he slept with me because I look _exactly_ like my mom did at my age. Like he was fulfilling some little sick fantasy of his… My mom was sixteen when she had me, and according to Edward's little proclamation he's been in love with her since the fourth grade."

"Okay, so when did he write this little love note?" Alice asks, pushing her bowl away so she can rest her arms against the table comfortably.

"It was my mom's senior yearbook." I tell her, stuffing a piece of sandwich into my mouth.

"That was a long time ago, Bella." Alice says, her left eyebrow twitching up.

"That doesn't mean his feelings have changed, Alice!" I exclaim, slamming my hands down on the table. I pause and take a look around me, realizing that I've made a scene in public yet again. I take a deep breath and take a bite of my sandwich. "Whose side are you on, anyways?" I ask around a mouthful of food.

"Yours, obviously. I'm just trying to make you see the errors in your thought process." I pinch my lips together and motion for her to continue. "It's been… like fourteen years. He's had to have moved on and dated someone else in that span of time. Like think about it… Who was your first love?"

"Riley." I state. "Well at least I thought so at the time… I was so obsessed with him."

"How long ago was it?"

I glower at Alice and pick at the crust of my sandwich. "Spring semester of my sophomore year of high school."

"Okay, so like a little over two years ago." I nod. "Do you still have feelings for him?"

"No!" I exclaim. "He's such a fucking douchebag. I practically hate the kid."

"So then you can sympathize with Edward." Alice says with a smirk. I open my mouth to interrupt her but she holds up a hand to stop me. "No. Listen to me. Your mom broke the guy's heart. It seems to me that Riley did the same to you… to an extent. Two years later, you hate the kid... Imagine how you'll feel in fourteen years."

"I probably won't even think about him… I'll have moved on by then." I say with a shrug, taking a sip of water from my cup.

"Exactly." Alice says, a huge grin spreading across her face. "Do you know whether he's had any girlfriends since the whole Renee fiasco?"

"He's recently divorced with two kids." I grumble, knowing I'm just proving her point.

"_Bella!_" Alice sighs, "Don't you see it? He can't have been harboring those feelings for that long! Not when he made a lifetime commitment to another woman and had kids with her. I don't know what you're so worried about. It seems to me like your whole situation was a case of forbidden love with some serious drama on the side." I roll my eyes at her and mutter _forbidden love_ _my ass_ under my breath.

"But how do you know, Alice?" I sigh, resting my face in my palm.

"Well, first of all: did he pay your mom any attention at all?" I chew my lip and mull over her question. He'd said a few things to her… but nothing that raised any suspicions. At least not while I was around.

"He talked to her… but he didn't like shower her in attention or anything… But he didn't outright ignore her either." Alice let out a little hum and tapped her nails against her bowl.

"Then he was acting like a normal human being… Did he call out her name when he came?" I gape at her in surprise and narrow my eyes at her. With the memory of my dream still fresh in my mind, I'm tempted to say yes… But that wouldn't be the truth.

"No… but he didn't call out my name either." Alice's lips quirk up into a smirk… she's feeling confident. I'm just feeding into her theory with every word I say.

"Were his eyes closed or open?" She asks, nibbling on her bottom lip.

"Alice I don't feel comfortable…" I sigh, shaking my head. She's really getting out of control with her questioning.

"Just answer the question, Bella." She snaps. I glare at her and pull my fingers through my hair.

"Fine." I huff. "They were open."

"Well then, he must not have been imagining anything Bella. Guys are visual beings. I mean, how could he conjure up the image of some other chick when he's balls deep in a hot as fuck teenage girl who is writhing in pleasure underneath him." I roll my eyes at her wording and flick her hand.

"I look just like my mom did when she was younger." I say with a shrug, "It's not even like he's got to think very hard to picture her."

"Come on!" Alice huffs, slapping her hands down on the table. "I've seen your mom! You don't look _that _much alike. It's just the shape of your eyes and lips that are similar to hers. You're much prettier than her. You've got lighter hair, fairer skin, dimples, and bigger tits."

"Okay." I sigh, beginning to feel mentally exhausted by this conversation. "So what do you think I should do?"

"Isn't it obvious? Give the man a chance to explain himself! But once he's convinced you, because I know he will! I mean have you fucking seen him? He's gorgeous!" I give Alice an incredulous look to which she just shrugs at innocently. "Anyways, once he's convinced you that he's not in the wrong, you need to not give yourself up so easily! Don't go jumping right back into his bed!"

"That's _if _he convinces me." I murmur, picking up my empty plate. "Come on, let's head back."

"Someone's eager!" Alice laughs, following me to the trashcan.

More like wanting to get this shit over with. I have a feeling that if I don't give him a chance to explain himself it won't be just Alice who is bugging the shit out of me.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

I turn on my phone to find four missed calls and one voicemail. I open my mailbox and make sure it's on speaker before letting it play.

"_Bella…"_ Edward sighs, _"When you get this, please call me back. I need to know that you're not dead. We need to talk about this…" _The line goes dead.

"Short and sweet." Alice chirps from her bed, hardly looking up from her laptop as she surfs the Internet. Knowing Alice and her creepy stalker tendencies, she's probably poking around on Edward's Facebook profile. "What are you waiting for? Call him back!"

"Now look who is eager." I retort, tossing my phone from hand to hand. She just shrugs, clicks her nail against the track pad, and pulls the laptop screen closer to her face.

"Huh." She says, looking up at me. "It's strange how neither of Edward's kids ended up being gingers like their mom. I always thought the ginger hair gene was super dominant."

"Her hair color isn't natural." I sigh, combing my fingers through my hair. I'm totally giving myself props right now. I knew she was stalking him.

Just then, my phone starts vibrating in my hand. I immediately drop it like it's burning my skin and it bounces across my bed and lands face-up on the floor. The now-familiar number flashes across the screen.

"Go on, answer it!" Alice urges, giving me a reassuring smile.

With my throat constricting in panic, I reach down and scoop the phone up off the floor. I slide my trembling thumb across the screen and gingerly place the phone against my ear.

"H-hello?" I gasp, coughing slightly to get the frog out of my throat.

"Bella…" Edward sighs. I flick my eyes over in Alice's direction. She's pretending like she's not listening. "How are you feeling? Why didn't you answer when I called before?"

"Uhh, I'm feeling much better than I was this morning." I reply, playing with the frayed ends of my shorts. I opt not to address his second question.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that…" He sighs. We're both quiet for a moment, the sounds of our breathing the only thing being transferred between our respective phones.

"Bella… we need to talk about what was said last night." I chew my lip and nod, not realizing that he can't see me. "Are you still there?" He asks after a beat.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was off in my own little world for a minute there." The sound of Edward's chuckle makes my skin tighten with goosebumps.

"It's okay. Did you hear what I said?" He asks, sounding tired.

"Yeah, okay. We can talk. But I really… don't remember what was said last night." I sigh, rubbing the heel of my palm into my eye.

"That's fine. But we need to talk…" He trails off. "In person," he adds after a beat. "I'd like to have this conversation face to face." I worry my lip and glance over at Alice. She's abandoned all efforts in trying to make it seem like she isn't listening. Her laptop is closed and she's propped up on her stomach with her chin cupped in her hands.

"Yeah, where d'you wanna meet up?" I ask, ripping the sock off my foot. I bunch it into a ball before I beam it at Alice's face. She squeals and throws her arms over her head to shield herself.

"I can pick you up. Which dorm are you staying in?" He asks sounding energized all of the sudden.

"I'm in Stanford." I murmur, peeling off my other sock. I bunch it into a ball and heft myself off of my bed. Alice screams when I shove it down the back of her pants. She'll have no choice but to touch the fabric that my feet have been sweating into.

"Oh-kay." Edward says, drawing out the word and chuckling. "Sounds like you're busy… I can come get you at like… seven?" I pull my phone away from my ear to check the time. It's 4:30 p.m.

"Yeah, that sounds good." I say, snapping at Alice and motioning for her to head over to my closet. She sighs dramatically and rolls off of the bed, my sock still stuck down her pants.

"Alright Bella, I'll see you then." Edward sighs.

"Bye." I mutter before ending the call. "Alice, I need your help!" I cry, throwing myself across my bed.

"When do you not need my help?" She says confidently, strolling over to where I'm laying with some serious swagger.

"You da best?" I say, giving her a timid smile. I know I'm not forgiven for the sock incident. Alice loathes feet—well, more like other people's feet—and anything associated with feet. She'll spend hours manicuring and moisturizing her own feet, but a slight brush of someone else's foot and she's recoiling in disgust. Don't even try borrowing her shoes. The answer will always be a firm no, and if you use them without her permission the shoes will promptly be thrown into the trash.

"Hmmm, we'll see." She sings, turning around and sticking her ass in my face. "Take it out or else."

I let out a snicker and fish the sock out of her pants. She sighs in relief once the undesirable fabric is extracted from her person.

"Okay, let's get down to business." She chirps, bouncing around on the balls of her feet as she flounces over to my closet.

Where does she get all of this energy?

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

By 6:30 p.m. I'm primped, prodded, and deemed acceptably dressed by Alice. Even though she detests my "bum-ish" minimalistic style, she relents and allows me to wear my favorite distressed low-rise jeans with a white, textured crop-top tank that leaves my lower abs and hips exposed.

"See, Bella. You can pair a nice top with your holey jeans and still look cute! You don't have to wear those ratty muscle shirts all the time…" I roll my eyes at her and flop back onto my bed. "You have spectacular side boob, but it's not always appropriate."

"You're just jealous." I tell her as I slip my feet into a pair of gold sandals. "You wish you could look as good putting forth little to no effort like I do. Why try hard when you can just not try at all?"

"I am jealous!" Alice laughs, handing me one of my many tubes chapstick. "You rock the grungy bum look better than anyone I've met. By the way, you should totally keep your hair up like that."

"You think so?" I ask, slicking a layer of chapstick onto my lips.

"Yeah, you work a messy bun better than anyone I know." I smile at her and start throwing a bunch of my shit into one of my oversized purses.

"What is with all these compliments? You tryna kiss my ass or something?" I joke, shaking my ass in her face as I pass by her to grab my water bottle off my desk.

"Nope!" Alice laughs, "But that is a nice ass." She adds, giving my butt a playful swat.

"Oh you know it." I laugh, blowing her a kiss over my shoulder. Alice grabs the kiss out of the air, cups it in her hands, and places it on the seam of her shorts… right onto her crotch.

"Gross!" I exclaim, pulling a face. "You're so raunchy sometimes." Alice wiggles her eyebrows and flexes her hips at me. "You need to get laid or something. Call Peter up when I'm gone, dude."

"Speaking of laid…" Alice hums, pointing at my vibrating phone. My stomach drops, my palms clam up, and my pulse races in my ears.

Why the fuck am I so nervous?

"It's just a text." Alice says, picking my phone up for me. She types in my password and reads the text aloud as I pretend to reapply mascara. "_Hey Bella, I'm downstairs in the Wellness Center parking lot._" She rattles off, "He's here." She repeats.

"Thanks for the clarification, Alice." I say sarcastically as I close up my make up bag and place it in the top drawer of my desk. "How do I look?" I ask, dragging my hands over my jeans in an attempt to dry them.

"Fuck hawt." Alice says, smiling at me cheekily.

"Good." I sigh, picking up my purse. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck!" She cries as I close the door behind me. "Make good choices!" I hear her muffled voice through the door. I chuckle at her and make my way down the hallway to the bank of elevators.

The white walls of the hallway seem to press down on me. Panic immediately swells inside of me and I have to stop and lean against the wall in order to calm myself down.

After a minute of deep breathing, I gather the courage to get myself to the elevators and out of my dorm. My heart pounds and my fingers tap impatiently against my leg as I wait for the elevator car to descend to the first floor. When the car finally stops and the doors open, I hesitate a second before stepping out into the lobby.

My sandals clack against the tile as I make my way to the front door. My fingers nervously adjust my bag on my shoulder before I reach out and push the door open. I let out a deep, shuddering breath before making my way towards where Edward is parked.

My feet stumble over each other as I follow the narrow path that leads around my dorm. The sight of the Wellness Center ahead of me makes my stomach turn uneasily. My steps falter and I stop walking. Taking a deep breath, I look over my shoulder. The lake behind me glitters in the retreating sun.

_Do I want to do this? Do I even want to hear what he has to say?_

My phone vibrates in my front pocket. With my bottom lip firmly caught between my teeth, I pull it out of my pocket and check the message. It's a text from Alice.

_**You can do this.**_

She's right. I _can _do this. I slip my phone back into my pocket and keep walking. I emerge from around the side of my dorm and out into the side of the Wellness Center parking lot. I step onto the sidewalk and palm the back of my neck as I search the parking lot for Edward's silver Range Rover. I don't see it anywhere.

Worrying my lip, I pull my phone out to text Edward just as a sleek black Jaguar XJ pulls to a stop right in front of me. The heavily tinted passenger side window rolls down and Edward's head ducks down to look up at me. "Get in" he says, his voice soft, yet commanding.

I swallow and reach for the handle delicately, afraid to leave my fingerprints on the spotless car. I pull the door open slowly and drop down into the passenger seat. The buttery leather of the seat is soft against the skin of my shoulders and lower back and the car smells amazing. Like musky man and expensive cologne.

"What happened to the Rover?" I ask as I buckle my seatbelt. I glance over at Edward just in time to see his Adam's apple bob as he gulps.

"Uhh…" He says, putting the car into drive. His eyes flick over to me quickly before he purses his lips and whips the car around. "Tanya broke it." He sighs, running his fingers through his hair as he navigates out of the parking lot.

"She broke it? How?" I ask, fidgeting in my seat. Edward's thumbs tap against the steering wheel as his eyes scan the road ahead of him. He chews on the inside of his cheek, seeming to be mulling over what he's going to say next.

"She… uhh…" He starts, his eyes flicking back and forth between the road and my face. "She beat the shit out of it with a tire iron."

My mouth falls open in shock. Holy shit! I didn't realize Tanya was _that _crazy! "Wow…" I laugh, "That's just…"

"Psychotic?" Edward finishes for me, his pink lips pulling up into a smile.

"Yeah." I say, rubbing my sweaty hands down my jeans. "Psychotic." Edward dips his head in a nod and guides his car down the street. I lick my lips and glance out of the window. "Where are we going?"

"Whisk." He says, glancing at me as he pulls up to a stoplight. "Ever been there?"

"No…" I reply, picking at a hole in my jeans. "But I've heard it's good." Edward gives me a little smile and starts driving again.

"Good." He replies, taking a left onto Red Road and driving down a little ways before taking another left onto a side street. He pulls into the parking lot in front of a little restaurant and squeezes his little car between two trucks. "This is it." He says, turning off the car.

I open my door and slide out, closing it behind me. Edward stands at the back of the car, his hands stuffed into his pockets. My eyes involuntarily rake over him; taking in his charcoal colored long sleeved Henley with a front pocket, dark wash jeans, white boat shoes, and shiny silver watch. My god, he looks good.

He locks the car and motions for me to follow him as he heads towards the restaurant. "After you." He says as he opens the door for me. I give him a tight smile and enter the restaurant. My tight smile changes to a genuine one as I take in the interior of the restaurant.

It's quaint and cute, with a small hostess stand up front. A bar adorns the left wall of the divided dining area and high top tables are pushed against the back wall, where the kitchen is opened up by a window pass-through.

"Oh, Edward. This place is adorable!" I gasp, turning to him with a huge smile spread across my face.

"I thought you'd like it." He says with a chuckle, passing by me to talk to the hostess. They talk for a minute and then he turns around and motions for me to follow him as the hostess shows us to our table. I settle into my seat and pick up the menu after the girl drops it onto the table in front of me.

"So…" Edward says from over his menu. "About last night…"

"About last night…" I repeat, gnawing on my lower lip. Edward's mouth opens like he's about to say something but snaps shut once the waitress comes to take our order. We both order our drinks and Edward asks for some cornbread for a starter before the waitress leaves us again.

"About last night…" He says again. "You said some things that really disturbed me." Edward murmurs, tapping his thumbs against the table. "Do you really think that I… that I slept with you because I want to fuck your mother, Bella?"

I flinch at the way he phrases it and look down at my menu. "Yes." I sigh, looking up at him from beneath heavy brows.

"How could you even think that?" He says, his expression one of bewilderment.

"I saw what you wrote in her yearbook, Edward. And she told me about your and Charlie's fight. How could I _not _think that?" Edward's face scrunches up and his fingers yank through his hair.

"Bella…" He sighs, a chuckle escaping his lips. "I'm fucked up… but I'm not _that_ fucked up!"

* * *

**Oops. Kind of left ya hanging there, didn't I? ****Sorry I'm not sorry. **

**Expect an update by the end of this week. The next chapter is literally almost finished and I want to put it out there for you guys as soon as it is presentable! Because I lurv you guys _sooooo_ much.**

**So, how was your weekend? **

**Mine was pretty fucking awesome. I went to visit my friend in Massachusetts! She just had a baby! I got super drunk and made a fool of myself in typical Jackie fashion. I also discovered that although the thought of being choked and having your hair pulled may seem very attractive in theory… it's actually frightening when it goes down IRL. Practice safe hooking up, everyone!**

* * *

**Now for your weekly installment of "**_**Edward's Pants Party: Your Baby Daddy's Juicy Lemisodes" **_**where Edward completely ravishes the readers… **

**Lemisode Three **

"Uhh… of course." You reply, your eyelids fluttering… trying to take in all of his perfect features at once.

"Why don't you make yourself more comfortable?" He says, pushing you back to sit on the bed you didn't even realize was behind you. "That's it. Let me take your coat off for you, you look warm." He pulls your coat from your shoulders and your hands fall limply into your lap. "Or do you want it back?" He asks with a laugh, nudging his head in the direction of your hard nipples.

"No!" You squeak, reaching your hands up to cup your boobs in embarrassment. "I'm fine."

"Oh yes, you are." He says with a nod, lips pursed and eyebrow quirked. "You look tense, how about a massage?"

Finding it hard to produce words, you just nod your head and lay down amongst the fluffy pillows on his bed. "You don't mind if I take this off, do you?" He asks, fingering the straps of your dress.**  
**

* * *

**Okay, thanks for reading boo thangs! I'll see you soon!**

**xoxo**


	15. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! It's Saturday night and the wait is finally over! **

**Thanks to OcSickGirl for prereading. You da best. I lurv you. Shout out to my 2nd prereader Rachel, hope you're feeling better booski!**

**To my reviewers: OMG you guys are amazing! I'm still surprised when I get over 20 reviews for each chapter! The praise and desperation for more makes my freaking day. I literally stalk my reviews obsessively just to read what you guys say after I update. **

**Alright enough of this fluffy shit. It's time to buckle your seatbelts because this about to be one hell of a bumpy ride. Catch ya on the flip side, betches.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight series characters. I own the plot… and lets be real here. Do you even wanna steal this plot from me? It's all kinds of cray cray.**

* * *

"_Bella…" He sighs, a chuckle escaping his lips. "I'm fucked up but not _that _fucked up."_

"So you say…" I murmur, giving the waitress a weak smile as she drops off our drinks. Edward and I place our dinner orders and hand over our menus. A tense silence settles over us after the waitress briskly walks away. I avoid his penetrating gaze, waiting out his explanation.

When it doesn't come I let out a huff and start talking. "You wanted to a chance to explain, so explain away." I grumble as I tap my straw against the mason jar my drink came in. I raise my eyes and watch as he wrinkles his brow before speaking.

"I'm not even sure where to begin… I don't even know what Renee told you." He says, scrubbing his knuckles against the stubble that adorns his flawless jaw.

"Honestly, I don't really care about what you have to say. I'm just hearing you out to get my roommate off my back." I snap back, his stalling is making me fucking cranky. I just want to get this over with. The less time I spend in his presence the better.

_Yeah right, Bella. Keep up telling yourself that. You're not fooling anyone._

"Wow! Then this is a monumental waste of time." Edward laughs bitterly, thrusting a long-fingered hand through his hair.

_Apparently I'm fooling him._

"I don't even know why I'm doing this. Maybe to save what little semblance of friendship Charlie and I have left. I've lost a lot of people over the years, Bella… It would kill me if your father were one of them. He is like a brother to me."

I narrow my eyes at him and slick my fingers over the condensation gathering on my glass. What is he saying? Is he implying I'm going to try and ruin their friendship? "I don't know what opinion you have of me… but telling Charlie about this is the last thing I want to do…"

"Well since we're being honest here…" Edward murmurs, taking a second to take a sip of his drink. "I'll tell you this… I don't even know what to think about you." He pauses and tilts his head curiously while he narrows his eyes at me. "You're an enigma. I can't figure out what angle you're working here… What is it you want? You ask me to come back for you when you're legal and then throw this trivial yearbook entry—which I don't even remember, by the way—in my face like some little declaration I made when I was in high school still resonates with me. I thought you were a smart girl… but I guess I was mistaken."

I gape up at him, my heart thudding in my throat. Holy fuck, I didn't expect that. I blink my eyes rapidly, trying to formulate a response.

Maybe Alice is right… maybe I _am_ reading too much into this whole yearbook shit… I mean people wrote all kinds of dumb stuff—some of which I'm sure they didn't even mean—in my yearbook. Hell, Marina Miller wrote that we should hang out this summer and I know for a fact that she hates my guts!

But paired with the story mom told me… the evidence is still highly incriminating.

"I-I am smart!" I exclaim as the waitress sets the steaming platter of cornbread down in the center of the table. She looks between the two of us, bites her lip, and then hurries away. I flush in embarrassment and hide my face behind my hands.

_Real smooth, Bella. You totally rock at presenting a valid argument._

"What I meant to say…" I murmur, dropping my hands and biting my lip. "Was that I'm usually very good at discerning whether or not things are consequential… But paired with the explanation my mom gave me it was impossible to come to any other conclusion other than the one that I did…" Edward nods and takes a bite out of the cornbread. He parts his lips and blows out a little steam, making me wonder how he would look if it were cigarette smoke he was blowing out instead. I can almost see it now… Edward would totally rock the bad boy look.

"And what explanation did she offer up?" He murmurs, sucking a bit of melted butter off of his thumb. Try as I might to ignore the feelings his actions stir within me, I just can't seem to stop my body's natural reaction to him. My stomach muscles clench as my eyes zero in on his mouth as his pink tongue slides out and swipes over the pad of his thumb before his full lips suck the digit inside. He is so sinfully hot. It should be illegal to look this good.

"Ummm…" I mutter, trying to gather my thoughts so they don't come tumbling out like a jumbled mess. "She told me that you had a huge crush on her, but my dad pursued her regardless. She got pregnant and had me, then at the end of her senior year you went psycho, proclaimed your undying love and beat the shit out of my dad. Then you showed up on her doorstep and asked her to run away with you… She threatened you with a restraining order and sent you away… Then your dad shipped you off to military school."

Edward blinks at me and his hands curl up into fists on top of the table. He's not even trying to hide his anger. "Well… that is a really warped version of the story, Bella… Are sure that's what she told you?" He says through clenched teeth. I don't even bother nodding my confirmation at him. He takes a deep breath, holds it in, scrubs his hands over his face roughly, and then exhales. I watch as his eyelashes flutter open, revealing calm sea foam green eyes. "That's all she told you?"

"She mentioned something about you getting married randomly three years later… and how drunk and miserable you seemed during the whole thing." Edward dips his chin and runs his tongue across his lips thoughtfully.

"Interesting." He says with a sigh, his hands splaying against his side of the table. "She left me a huge mess to clean up… I have a lot of holes to fill in and rearranging of events to do…" He mutters while chuckling to himself like the whole thing is a huge joke.

"Rearranging?" I ask, pulling a piece of cornbread onto my appetizer plate. It just looks too damn good to resist. "What are you saying? That my mom manipulated the whole story?"

"Yes." Edward says simply. "Which isn't surprising, knowing Renee. She's a master at twisting things so that they're in her favor." My stomach turns uneasily at his words. Regardless of the fact that my mom annoys the hell out of me at times… she's still my mom. And someone talking badly about her really fucking bothers me.

"Watch your mouth. That's my mother you're talking about!" I snap, fixing Edward with an icy glare. Edward narrows his eyes, his lashes lowering over them… they dip so low they appear to be resting against his high cheekbones. God… how can he piss me off and then turn me on within the same minute? Fuck him and his beautiful face.

"If I'm going to get any sort of explaining done, you're going to have to hold _your_ tongue and let me speak, Bella." Edward snaps back, crossing his arms across his muscular chest.

I bite my lip and look away, refusing to meet his intense stare. Do I want to let him sit there and bad mouth my mom? Do I even want to hear what he has to say? All of the things Alice and I discussed earlier seem moot. I can't even fucking remember what she said to me.

All I know is that Edward is here… and he's willing to take the time out of his busy day to explain this convoluted situation I've found myself in.

_Am I willing to listen?_ I'll have to keep my mouth shut and endure whatever he has to say… Which is going to be pretty hard. Especially since I can't seem to keep my mouth shut around him. He really inspires my combative side…

_Can I do it?_ With a little effort on my part… I think I can.

"Okay." I sigh, "If you're willing to talk, I'm willing to listen. As to where to start… how about at the beginning?" Edward purses his lips, his eyes roaming over my face thoughtfully. I guess trying to analyze whether or not I'm serious about this.

After a minute he licks his lips and begins to speak. I guess he liked what he saw in my face. "I'm going to explain this to you, but under the condition that you understand that—to me—this topic is extremely petty. This happened when I was high school. When everyone's hormones were going wild. At the time—when I wrote whatever yearbook entry that's got you all upset—all of this appeared to be the most important thing in my life, but now I could give a shit about it… It plays no role in my life whatsoever. I'm only getting into this because it seems to be really bothering you." I nod at him. He pauses and looks me over again.

"Do you understand, Bella?" He asks firmly. I nod again. "I want to hear you say that you understand. Tell me."

I clear my throat before I speak. "Yeah, Edward. I understand what you're saying."

He smiles at me and leans back in his chair, his arms casually folded over his chest. "Good." I mimic his position and watch him as he swipes his tongue over his bottom lip before dragging his teeth over it. "Renee and I became friends when I was in sixth grade. She was an eighth grader—unattainable to little boys like myself—but she seemed so different compared to the other girls…" Edward pauses to take a sip of his drink, clearing his throat before he continues. "We rode the same bus. I sat in the back with my friends. She sat in the front, always alone with her nose buried in a book. I thought she was the prettiest girl I'd ever seen—most of the guys did back then. One day I finally mustered up the courage to talk to her. I wrote a note on a piece of paper…." He pauses, scrubbing his hands over his face and sitting up a little in his chair. "_What's your favorite color?_ I'd asked. And then I dropped it in her lap as I passed by her to get off at my stop. I thought I was so suave…" He finishes that statement off with a wink. I roll my eyes at him and sink lower into my chair.

"I was surprised when she slipped me her reply as I got back on the bus the next morning. We communicated that way for weeks. And then we progressed from notes to phone calls. Phone calls turned into sitting together at lunch and on the bus. And then we started hanging out after school. We became just as inseparable as Charlie and I were. I was completely whipped and obsessed with her and it was so obvious. Charlie ragged on me constantly... He would get so pissed every time I blew off our fishing trips to hang out with her…

She always seemed curious about my _older brother_—that's what she would call Charlie. And after she graduated from eighth grade she all but begged me to introduce them. She claimed to want to have a friend for when she started high school that upcoming year. After a few weeks of her begging, I finally relented and introduced them. Renee transformed into a completely different person around Charlie. She was different from the Renee I knew, all girly and flirty and dainty. She didn't discuss comics and cartoons and music. She stroked Charlie's ego constantly and would bat her lashes at him and smile sweetly like he was the most gorgeous guy she'd ever seen. A week later they were officially a couple."

Edward nods at the waitress as she sets down our food and thanks her graciously before taking a bite out of his steak. "I confronted her about it—of course—because I was _so_ fucking jealous. I'd asked her out countless of times before they started dating and she always told me her father didn't want her to have a boyfriend. As far as I was concerned their budding relationship was bullshit… It was during this confrontation that I confessed my love for her for the first time. _NOT _through a yearbook entry and _not _through some dramatic fight with Charlie." Edward stops to tuck into his dinner. I watch him curiously, trying to process all the information he's given me.

So far, mom and Edward's stories match up… to an extent. Mom never even mentioned being friends with Edward first or him asking her out several times. But when you take a step back and look at the big picture, does it even matter?

Not to me, it doesn't.

At least I don't _think _it does… Does it?

I dig into my fried rice, trying not to stare at Edward as he devours his steak like he hasn't eaten anything in months. God, he eats like a beast. It doesn't even seem like he chews the food very much before he stuffs in another bite and swallows.

After a few minutes, Edward has completely cleared off his plate. I'm half expecting him to lick it clean and a little disappointed when he doesn't. He just pushes it to the side and rests his elbows on the table, his pale eyes looking me over pensively.

"Want me to continue?" He asks, rubbing his thumb along the corner of the tabletop. I stuff a forkful of rice and chicken into my mouth and nod at him. He purses his lips and slumps forward more onto the table. "Where was I at, again?" He asks, his cheeks tinting pink.

I almost start drooling at the sight of it. I've always had a thing for guys with ruddy cheeks and seeing Edward's little blush just makes him all the more attractive. But he can't be attractive to me right now. It's too inconvenient and inappropriate. "The confrontation." I tell him, looking over his shoulder as another couple enters the restaurant.

"Oh, right. Sorry… Well, umm… I begged Renee not to do it, you know. Not to date my faux big brother… I told her I loved her and that we were meant to be together. She told me that she loved me back but she refused to end the relationship. She said ours wouldn't work out and that she really liked Charlie. So I did what lovesick twelve year-old boys do… I bawled my eyes out like a baby. She comforted me… and told me that she'd _always_ be there for me. That she'd _always _love me no matter what." He chuckles and rolls his eyes like it's the stupidest shit he's ever heard.

And if Alice were here she'd agree with him. Renee was only fourteen years old, how could she love him? And Edward! He was only twelve! How could HE know he loved Renee? To Alice it would be a laughable situation… Mom used him to get to dad and then strung him along because she liked that he worshipped the ground she walked on. She didn't love him… she loved his attention. And she'd say anything to keep him coming back to her…

But I'm not Alice. I'm Bella and I refuse to acknowledge what is glaringly obvious. I subconsciously push my epiphany to the back of my mind and refuse to react at all. I just stare at him, my face completely devoid of all emotion.

"Things between Charlie and Renee became serious once she started high school… while her and I's relationship began to escalate into something I didn't really understand in the background. We continued to talk constantly; we were closer than ever. And honestly, it felt like I was her second boyfriend… After a while, girls really started to notice me and openly pursue me. Renee became even more controlling and possessive than she was before. She'd stop talking to me if I did anything that upset her—and believe me… everything fucking upset her. She'd tell me what to do, what to wear, whom to talk to… and then threaten to tell Charlie about the things I'd said to her if I refused to comply. I was so confused and conflicted, but still under the impression that it was love that made her act this way… She would tell me she loved me every day, yet continue to date Charlie like nothing was going on…"

He stops to clear his throat, his thumbs drumming against the table nervously. "I know you're not going to like hearing this part… but it's a necessary part of the story, Bella." I nod at him, gripping my chair under the table. I don't know how much more I can take. This is already hard to swallow. Its like I don't even know who my mother is…

The epiphany I had a moment ago struggles to come to the forefront of my mind but I refuse to acknowledge it. If I don't think about it, it'll eventually disappear… right?

"_Your problems aren't going to go away if you keep ignoring them, Bella!"_

Alice's words from earlier today echo in my mind and make me clench my teeth in frustration. It's like she's standing behind me whispering them into my ear. I know she's right… And try as I might to ignore the epiphany, it's there and not going to go away.

"I started dating a girl—Becca—my freshman year. Renee was livid. She got her friends to gang up on Becca and started rumors about her. She completely isolated her. I had no choice but to confront Renee about it to get to the bottom of things. As usual, she begged me to end things with Becca and threatened to stop talking to me if I didn't. When I refused to comply… she forced herself on me and did…" He pauses, looking up at me as he finishes the sentence. "_Things…_ to me to convince me to do her bidding. The next day Becca and I were broken up and Renee was happy with me again."

_She forced herself on him? Did things to him?_ Where the hell is this story going? "What the fuck are you talking about? What _things?_" Edward grimaces and my mouth dries up instantly. Did they fuck? Did Edward fuck my mother?

If he… if they… what if? Is there a chance that Edward could be my fucking biological father? Oh my god I think I'm going to throw up.

I slap my hands over my eyes and drop my head down onto the table, letting out a shuddering sob. Why did I listen to Alice? Why couldn't I just allow myself to continue hating Edward? All this is doing is making an even bigger mess in my head than there was before!

I can hear Edward ask the waitress for our check and don't even bother trying asking to pay for half. This isn't a fucking date… but he owes me a meal after torturing me with this conversation and putting even more fucked up ideas into my head.

"Is there a chance…?" I gasp out, struggling to see his face through my blurred vision. "That you could be my _father?_ Oh my god this is so fucked up!"

All of the color drains from Edward's face. He leans toward me from across the table and grabs ahold of my forearm. I try to jerk away but his hold is strong and unyielding. "Sit up and stop crying!" He demands. "That is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard, Isabella! Your mother and I have _never _had sex. There is no way you and I are even remotely related."

I let out a gasping sob and lay my face against the table, completely disregarding his order. "I just wanna go hoooome." I cry, hiding my face behind my hands. I don't want to hear any more of this. Why did I do this to myself? I can't… I won't… This is just _way_ too much.

"Okay, okay." Edward murmurs softly, getting out of his chair. "C'mon sweetie, lets get out of here." He says, lifting me out of my chair by my shoulders.

_Now he wants to be nice?_

I push away from him and start for the door while he pays the bill. I don't want to ride back with him. I'll walk back. It's not that far of a walk anyway.

"Bella, please wait!" Edward yells from behind me as I speed-walk out of the parking lot, completely bypassing his stupid Jaguar. "Damn it Bella!" He cries. I can hear the crunching of gravel as he chases me down. I speed up to a brisk jog to try and escape him but I know that I won't get very far before he catches up. Damn his long legs.

"Please… just stop." He pants as he wraps my wrist up in one of his big hands. I'm jerked to a stop when he plants his feet, not allowing me to go any further. He lets out a sigh of relief and gently pulls my arm until my back is leaning against his chest. I squeeze my eyes shut and wrap my arms around myself, wanting to hate how it feels to have him pressed against me…

But I can't deny it. He's warm and he smells like home. And it's so wrong but so fucking right. I want to turn around and bury my face in his chest. But I know if I do that, all I'll get is cold words and rejection.

My stomach knots up at that thought. It's just wrong of me to feel that way. He has no right to reject me. He shouldn't even have the option of being near me. _I _will be doing the rejecting this time.

"I don't know why you keep jumping to these conclusions." He sighs into my hair, his hands slowly creeping up to hold my biceps. "I don't know why you keep thinking I'm this sick man. Is it because I slept with you while you were underage?" He asks, getting no answer from me. I just clench my eyes shut tighter and dig my fingers into my shoulders. He keeps talking.

"I know it was wrong… what I did with you. I want to say I felt bad about it afterwards… but I really didn't. I enjoyed myself… and I thought you did too. I didn't feel like I was corrupting you. You were so perfect… _are_ so perfect. So mature for your age… I just couldn't resist you. I _still_ can't resist you." He pauses, dipping his head down to run his nose along the back of my neck. I drop my chin to my chest and clench my teeth. I must resist.

"I'm not going to lie and tell you I moved to Miami for you. I moved here for work. I wasn't even going to get anywhere _near_ you again… but when I saw you at Moe's last night and witnessed how volatile you were towards me I knew I had to fix this. I know—from personal experience—how it feels to leave things unresolved. They fester and eat away at you. I don't want that for you… I don't want you to hurt because of me anymore." Edward lets out a soft sigh, his breath washing down my neck and chest. My eyes involuntarily roll back into my head and my hands clench into fists against my shoulders.

_Feels so good._

_Resist._

"Please Bella… just let me fix this and I promise I'll leave you alone." He drops his hands from my arms, lifts his face away from my neck, and takes a step back.

I feel bereft. Barren. Alone. Empty. All those words. So many synonyms for how I'm feeling right now. I force myself to nod… to speak the words. "Okay."

This isn't how I pictured tonight going.

I follow him back to his car and open the passenger side door for myself. The car still smells like him. It's intoxicating.

He starts the engine and turns in his seat to look through the back window as he backs out of his spot. I stare down at my hands; they're neatly folded in my lap.

_He's not my daddy. Thank god, he's not my dad… _

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"We can just talk here." He tells me as he pulls into a spot in the Wellness Center parking lot. I nod at him and look out the windshield. A couple passes in front of the car; the headlights cast shadows over their faces, making them look like something out of a horror movie. They glance at us briefly as they head towards the dorms.

"It was in the beginning of my freshman year when Renee found out that she was pregnant with you. I was the first person she told… I didn't even realize that they were being physical with each other… I thought that _that_—her affection—was reserved for me. God, I was so delusional." He stops and stuffs his fingers through his hair. "Things got a little… _weird_ between us and I started to distance myself from her." He pauses for a second. I glance over at him and watch as his jaw clenches and unclenches.

_What is he thinking about?_

"Weird, how?" I hear myself asking. His head snaps in my direction, eyes wide like he forgot I was even in the car with him. I watch as different emotions cross his face. Fear… anger… sadness… regret… anger… and finally sadness again.

"I want to tell you the whole story, Bella… but I'm really having trouble with this part. I don't even know how to phrase it correctly." He murmurs, sounding like he's going to break down.

"Just tell me in a way that feels right." I say to him, tugging at my lip with my teeth. What could have him acting like this? He seemed so eloquent before and now he's at a loss for words?

"How do you tell someone you witnessed their mother trying to self-abort them in a way that feels right!" He yells suddenly, his face wild with desperation. I blink in surprise and just stare at him. He stares back, his chest heaving.

"Excuse me?" I say, fixing him with a lethal glare. How fucking dare he? He's been trying to turn me against my mother this whole time! There is no way mom would ever try to kill me! She told me she was disappointed in herself when she first found out she was pregnant, but eventually was excited to see me.

"Yeah, you heard me correctly." He snaps. I open my mouth to say something equally as combative back but he holds up his hand to stop me. "No, shut up Bella. Let me fucking speak!"

I shrink back into my seat and wrap my arms around myself. I don't know why he has to be so fucking rude and abrupt all the time. "I came home from school one day and walked in on her trying to convince my father to give her an abortion. He refused to go through with it and told her to talk to her parents if she wanted it done so badly. When she realized that he wasn't going to help her, and that I had witnessed their conversation she ran out of my dad's office. I wasn't fast enough to stop her… I didn't realize what she was doing until she flung herself down our staircase. When she tumbled onto the second floor landing, she stood up and threw herself the rest of the way down to the first floor."

He stops his angry tirade and turns to look at me. My eyes are clenched shut as tears stream down my face uncontrollably. I try to jerk away from his touch, but he holds my head in place so he can smooth away my tears. His thumbs are warm and soft as they move tenderly across my face. "I'm sorry." He murmurs. "I didn't want to tell you… especially not like that. I knew it would upset you to hear that."

"S-she didn't want me?" I gasp out, pulling my face away from his comforting touch.

"Bella…" He sighs, "She loves you very much now… but back then she was a confused and depressed teenager. She was scared of being a mother and of what her parents' reaction would be. You know how your mom is… she's selfish. She didn't want to give up her plans for the future. And she certainly didn't want to share her body with anyone else." I roll my eyes at him and wipe the remaining tears from under my eyes. That totally sounds like something mom would say.

"What happened to her? Did you guys just send her home?" I ask, my voice trembling. "Obviously she didn't lose the baby." I laugh bitterly, motioning to myself. Edward shakes his head at me and runs both of his hands through his hair.

"No, we didn't send her home. Obviously she was… troubled and really beat up. My dad took her to the hospital to make sure that she was taken care of… and to check to see if she was… successful. While we were there he called in her parents. That's when Luiza and Jose found out about you… they thought you were _my _baby at first—because I was there with her in the hospital room—but _I_ made sure they knew who the real father was. Renee was all beat up from her fall, but you were fine. Better than fine, really." He smiles at me cheekily and winks. I try to push the corners of my lips down into a frown, but his smile is infectious.

"Um… so the drama didn't end there…" He says, side-eying me hesitantly as he drums his fingers against the steering wheel. "The next day at school, Charlie fucking jumped me at lunch. I tried not to fight back but I couldn't get him to stop hitting me. He kept goading me. He was saying shit like '_you were never good enough for her_' and '_she'll never leave me for a little pussy like you_'… He fucking knew what he was doing! I've always had temper issues and shit like that only makes it worse! So I stopped trying to calm him down and laid into him instead. I beat the shit out of him until he stopped slinging insults at me—until he started moaning stop—and then I drove him to the hospital myself. I didn't find out until later that Renee had told him that _I_ had pushed her down the stairs. I guess she claimed that I was jealous of their bond and their baby…" Edward pauses, and I immediately glance over at him to make sure he's okay. When I see that he's just responding to a text I continue gazing out the window.

I'm so confused… I shouldn't feel relieved. I feel like after he slapped me with the whole self-abort thing I stopped resisting and accepted the truth. This situation is more fucked than I thought it was… but less fucked at the same time. More fucked because now I know the truth about how my mom was… well _is_. She's still up to her old antics. I mean she manipulated this whole story so that Edward looks like the bad guy.

"But the most fucked up part is that all happened _before_ you were born. And the yearbook she showed you must have been her junior year yearbook because I didn't even go to South Dade her senior year. My dad transferred me to Gulliver Prep to go to a school with a better Baseball team."

Wait… what?

"What are you talking about? It _was_ her senior yearbook. I saw her senior picture in there and everything!" Edward's face scrunches up in confusion.

"I just told you, Bella. I didn't go to South Dade during her senior year… I went to Gulliver. I didn't even talk to them again until I saw them at my wedding." No… what the fuck. This doesn't make any sense.

"Then why was your signature in there?" Edward huffs and shakes his head, looking just as baffled as I feel. "You had to have signed it! The signature like took up an entire page and was like… this huge dramatic declaration of love!"

Edward scrunches up his face and drums his thumbs against the steering wheel of his car. "I can honestly tell you that I the last time I saw Renee—before I saw her my wedding—was on the last day of school my freshman year of high school. I didn't sign that yearbook… and I would have never written a sappy little love message to her where Charlie could have easily seen it…" We both stop breathing at the same time, the realization hitting us like a ton of bricks.

I'm the first to break the heavy silence. "She must have written it." I state the obvious. I should have known. There's no way a left-handed sixteen year-old could have handwriting as good as the writing I'd seen in her yearbook. The yearbook writing was a mixture of loopy cursive and neat print, very aesthetically pleasing—to a girl, that is. Edward looks like the kind of guy who writes in slanted all-caps letters.

Look at me… here I am analyzing handwriting when I've just found out that my mom is a manipulative, murderous bitch. Talk about avoidance issues…

"She must have… Wow. No wonder you flipped out. When you mentioned some yearbook entry I kept trying to remember what I wrote the last time I'd signed for her… I'm pretty sure it was something stupid like _have a good summer_ or something." He laughs, looking overwhelmed as he scrubs his hands over his face. "I was so confused as to why you kept bringing it up… but then you said something about imagining Renee while fucking you and that just… really fucking creeped me out… so I kind of forgot about you mentioning it until now."

"This is just… I don't know what to think about this." I moan, palming my face. "I think my brain is going to explode."

"No it's not." Edward laughs, shaking his head at me. I allow my eyes to wander over his face between my separated fingers. He really is beautiful. I can just imagine what he looked like when he was younger… I mean he's devastatingly handsome now, so he must have been absolutely beautiful then… No wonder my mom did all of these things to keep him interested…. Not that that justifies her behavior.

"I don't know how I will ever look at her the same way…" I groan, "What am I supposed to say to her when she calls me? I can't even think about her without getting angry."

Edward sighs and scrubs his hands over his face. "Just… don't say anything. _Please._ She didn't tell you the real story for a reason… and I don't want to start any unnecessary drama. It's in the past and we're all finally okay with each other. Just let it go, Bella."

I sigh and lean forward until my face is resting against my thighs. "Okay…" I say, feeling emotionally drained. "I won't say anything because you asked me not to… God, I'm so _tired_."

Edward watches me with a small smile on his face as my mouth opens in a yawn. "It's alright, go on up to bed… that's the end of the story."

"But what about your wedding?" I ask between yawns. "Why were you so unhappy? And so _young_?"

The smile instantly falls from his face. I watch through tired eyes as his jaw clenches at the mention of his failed marriage. "That's a story for another night…" He murmurs tensely. "Thanks for listening to me, Bella… I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I take that as my cue to leave and gather up my bag from the floor. Edward watches me stoically as I pull my purse over my shoulder and open the door. I step outside into the humid heat and duck my head down to give him a parting smile before I slam the door closed.

I try not to think too much as I make my way to my dorm. I know if I do I'll just end up super overwhelmed. My brain can't take any more tonight.

My feet hit the sidewalk that wraps around the backside of my dormitory and I can't resist turning and watching the retreating taillights of Edward's Jaguar.

What the hell just happened? How did I go from detesting him to liking him in just a few hours?

* * *

**Hiiiiii...**

**What do you guys think? Renee is pretty fuuuhh'd up isn't she?**

** Funny story… (not really tho) I based Renee off a friend of mine in high school. She always had two boyfriends like this. She'd have one that she would publicly date and then another that she strung along on the side. The one that would officially be her bf would usually be the hotter, less intellectually stimulating one and the one on the side would be a shy, smart cutie. Nobody ever suspected a thing because she always presented herself as this sweet little girl… Needless to say we're not friends anymore.**

**Question: **how did you guys start reading on FFN? And if you're a writer, what made you want to write FF?

* * *

**Now for your weekly installment of "**_**Edward's Pants Party: Your Baby Daddy's Juicy Lemisodes" **_**where Edward completely ravishes the readers…**

**Lemisode Four**

"N-no." You say, "Go ahead." Edward just hums in response and unzips the back. You lift up a little to help him pull it off your body and are left in a pair of red lace cheeky underwear.

"Fuck." He gasps, his hand gliding over the lace that covers your left butt cheek. "How did you know?" He asks reverently, both of his hands now cupping your ass. He kneads the flesh in his big, warm hands.

"I had an idea…" You moan out, desperately wanting him to forgo the massage for… other activities.

* * *

**Okay, now I'm getting really jealous. I want Edward to massage my ass! It actually really hurts from doing squats… :( **

**See you guys Wednesday!**

**xoxo**


	16. Chapter 15

**Happy Tuesday everybody! I'm a day early… but a week late… depends on how you choose to look at it!**

**But really, I'm super duper sorry for being so late. Work has been… trying. I've had to wake up at 5 am every morning to do shit for football camp and when I get home for work I'm just way too tired to do anything but eat, shower, and sleep. Plus side of it all: football pants. Fuck yeah. And after practice they're all sweaty and see-through… I'm just going to point out the fact that I'm a pervert. Aaaaaannnnddddd that was unnecessary because you all already know that.**

**Thank you to my marvelous prereaders for being ready to get to work right off the bat. Rachel and Ocsickgirl you two are literally the most amazing people in the world for putting up with my psycho emails/messages at weird times of the day.**

**To my reviewers: Again, thanks so much! Thanks for waiting for me… even though it was only a week but whatever. To sdvolleygurl- thanks for your compliment! I don't exactly want to be a novelist but I'm studying PR so that involves a lot of writing. So you all will eventually see my writing published… most likely as press releases but still, that's legit.**

**Catch ya on the flipside, sexy betches!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight series characters. I own the plot.**

* * *

"How'd it go?" Alice asks from underneath her giant comforter. I ignore her question and fall face-first into my bed instead. "I'm guessing not so well." She says with a laugh.

"I have a massive headache." I grumble with my face smashed into my pillow.

"That tough, huh?" She sighs. I can hear her get up from the bed and start moving shit around on the other side of the room. "Here" she says after a minute. The bed dips slightly as she sits down next to me. "Take some Advil."

I flip onto my side and give her a weak smile. She drops the pills into my palm and hands me a bottle of water. "Thanks." I murmur before stuffing the pills down my throat and taking a few gulps of water to wash them down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks after a pregnant pause. I curl into myself and shake my head. I don't want to think about it right now. All I want to do is sleep.

"I just need some time to think all of this through, Alice." I sigh, rubbing my eyes tiredly. "I'm on information overload… I still need to process it all before I can even begin to sift through this mess."

Alice eyes me warily and combs her fingers through my hair soothingly. "Okay, I get it… Just know I'm here for you whenever you're ready to talk about it."

I nod and wrap my arms around her middle. Her hands immediately cup the back of my head to cuddle my face into her stomach. "Thank you." I mumble into her shirt.

"For what?" She sighs, her fingers rubbing my scalp soothingly.

"For everything." I murmur, pulling my head back to gaze up at her. She peers down at me with wide, sad gray eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I'm sure you'd manage." She giggles, tickling me under my neck. I tuck my chin into my chest and struggle to roll away from her wiggling fingers.

"You really know how to kill the mood." I grumble jokingly, still trying to escape her attack.

"I had to do _something_ or else we would have ended up making out!" She laughs, flopping back onto my bed next to me.

After a moment of laying together in silence, I feel Alice shift next to me. My eyes slide closed as her arms wrap around me. Her tiny body settles down behind me, spooning me from behind. I feel the tension slowly draining from my limbs as my body relaxes into her comforting embrace.

My eyes slowly roll back into my head as I drift to sleep wrapped up in my best friend's arms.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

_I close the door to my house firmly behind me and slide the lock into place. Toeing off my shoes, I place my book bag down on my couch and head into the kitchen. My feet slap against the wood flooring. It's so quiet… _

_I'm so thirsty and I really want a glass of grape juice. _

_My fuzzy reflection blinks back at me as I take a moment to inspect my face on the shiny surface of my stainless steel refrigerator. After a minute of examination, I yank open the fridge door and rummage around inside. I could have sworn we had a full bottle of grape juice in here… Where the hell is it? _

_My hand pauses as I'm pushing shit around. I have this eerie feeling that something isn't right… _

_Taking a deep breath, I lean out of the fridge and peer around the door. I'm half expecting someone to be standing behind it, and am surprised when I find myself alone in the kitchen._

_Huh… that's weird. _

"_Mom? Are you home?" I call out into the empty house. My voice echoes throughout the room. Goosebumps break out on my arms. _

_She should be home by now…_

_I jump as a loud thump followed by a muffled groan comes from where my parent's room is nestled in the back of the house. What the hell was that? _

"_Mom?" I ask more urgently as I close the fridge door. My search for juice is completely abandoned now. _

_My feet unsteadily take me through the arch that leads into the living room. I wrap my arms around myself; the air feels chillier in here. I pass by the staircase that leads to my room and follow the hallway back to my parent's wing of the house. _

_The hallway is dark, despite being mid-afternoon, and cold. The ceiling seems so far over my head, yet still presses down on me. Ahead of me, my parent's bedroom door is ajar and miles away. A sliver of light shines through the crack between the door jam and door. _

_Another thump and a groan sound from the room ahead of me. My feet stumble over nothingness as I pick up my pace. _

"_Mom?" I call out again, my voice hoarse with urgency. I get no response. _

_I feel like I'm running on a treadmill. No matter how fast I run, I'm getting nowhere. The door seems to slip farther and farther away as my feet struggle to carry me to my destination. _

_Another thump. Another groan. "Mom!" More urgency. _

_If I can just push a little harder… Run a little faster… Just a little bit more._

_And then suddenly, it's like something snapped—like a rubber band being pulled to the absolute limit only to pop and fling across the room. Some unseen force propels me forward and my hands break my fall against the wall next to my parent's door. _

_Thump. Groan. "Mom?" I'm breathless as I slowly ease the door open and peer inside._

_It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the shock of bright lighting. My vision is blurry and dotted, but when I blink the blackness away I have to cover my mouth in surprise. _

_Mom is in bed… and she's not alone. _

_I stumble back a few steps but am unable to look away from the scene in front of me. Mom is naked from the waist up, hunched over on her knees on the bed in between a tall man's bent and spread legs. Her head bobs up and down as she sucks the man's cock; his fingers are tangled in her curly hair. His head is thrown back in rapture, exposing the tanned column of his neck and the soft specking of blond hair that adorns his broad chest._

_I take another step back. _

_Thump. He pounds his hand against the bedpost. _

_Groan. He lifts his head to look down at what mom's doing. _

_We make eye contact. Hazel eyes fixed into a boyishly handsome face. He's young… closer to my age than hers. He flexes his hips against mom's face and bites his lip, giving me a look that tells me he'd have us both. _

_I stumble backwards, trying to get away before mom notices that I've seen them. But I can't get away. I'm walking up a down escalator. The more I back up, the closer I get until I'm standing at the edge of the bed. _

_The man-boy thrusts his hips harder while simultaneously pushing mom's head down onto him. She gags harshly and rips her face away to come up for air. A string of saliva follows her lips. She wipes it with the back of her hand._

_I'm fucking speechless. _

_She sees me now… through the reflection of the mirror set over the headboard of her bed._ Their_ bed. My _parent's_ bed. A smile tugs at the corner of her lips and she quickly turns around to greet me. _

_I'm sick to my stomach taking in her swollen mouth, tear-stained cheeks, and abused purplish nipples. "Baby, this is my daughter Bella. We share _everything._" She says as she grasps me around the forearm and pulls me towards the bed like a fucking offering._

_We. Share. Everything._

I jolt awake suddenly. I'm fucking sobbing again and Alice is wrapped around me. I wipe the tears away from my face and look down at my clothes. I'm still in my jeans and top and I'm so fucking uncomfortable.

I slide out of the bed quietly, trying not to disturb Alice. Sifting through my chest of drawers, I select a random big t-shirt and strip down to my underwear before throwing the shirt on top of my shivering nakedness.

That was one fucked up dream.

Glancing down at Alice, I feel an overwhelming need to wake her up. But the way she's sleeping so peacefully makes me feel guilty for wanting to burden her with my drama so I slip into bed beside her instead.

This can wait. It was just a dream. It didn't mean anything.

But as I close my eyes and will myself to let the heavy darkness of sleep to take me I can't help but feel like it really _wasn't _just a dream. Maybe it meant something.

I shift over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling.

Maybe mom _had _changed some… but not fully. And the fact that she could lie to my face and come up with that bogus yearbook story completely backs up that thought process.

And if _that _hadn't changed then that means other aspects have the potential to be the same as well… Like, if Charlie wasn't enough for her back then… what's to say that he _still _isn't enough for her _now? _I mean, Edward is gone… but there could be another one like him that replaced him? Mom isn't a bad looking woman. She can get any man she wants…

But even though she's certifiably psychotic… she's still my mom. She's never once seemed like she resented me for being born. She's raised me in a home full of love and warmth and I can't—even though I know that what she did was wrong—find it in myself to hate her.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"Pssst, Bella!" Emmett whisper-yells from beside me. I tilt my head in his direction and shoot him a glare from the corner of my eye. He smirks at me and turns his head back to face the screen.

Shaking my head, I peer down the aisle we're sitting in to make sure nobody is pissed at Em for talking during the movie. I make eye contact with a frustrated looking elderly woman at the end of the aisle and immediately sit back in my seat.

Not a minute later, Em places one of his big paws on my knee. I promptly knock it off and cross my legs. Seconds later it's back, but this time it's wedging its way between my crossed knees. I let out a frustrated sigh and yank his hand away and place it on his lap.

Leaning around him to look at Rose, I give her a look that says _he's doing it again._ She just shrugs and stuffs her face with popcorn before washing it down with a sip of her drink.

I sit back into my seat with a huff and cross my arms over my chest. Glancing to my left, I make eye contact with Goose who looks really fucking uncomfortable stuffed into his chair. They're most definitely not designed to accommodate someone of his enormous size.

On the other side of him, Alice is practically sitting on Peter's lap with her tongue thrust down his throat. I roll my eyes at them before slumping back in my seat. They're sickening. It's like they can't keep their hands off each other long enough to watch the movie. It reminds me of high school… which reminds me of Jasper… which reminds me of Rose… who is doing nothing to stop her handsy boyfriend from pestering me during the movie.

Em's arm pushes it's way behind my head and drapes casually across my shoulders just as the movie starts to get really scary. In a moment of weakness, I tuck myself into his side and bury my face into his chest. Rose laughs on the other side of him, her eyes unflinchingly watching the screen as she continues to pop popcorn into her mouth. I fucking hate her for making me go to this movie. I'm not a horror movie fan. And I'm _especially_ not a fan of horror movies that involve possession and ghosts and shit. I swear, in every movie like this, someone's leg gets pulled while they are sleeping and I scream EVERY TIME.

On the screen, the woman creeps down a dark hallway armed with only a single match. I watch between my separated fingers as the match slowly burns out. As the woman is shrouded in darkness a loud rumbling noise erupts from somewhere next to me. I immediately flinch further into Emmett's arms and whip my head to the side to see where the noise came from. Goose's head is hanging to the side limply, his mouth wide as he snores loudly. I stifle a snicker and shake my head.

Em giggles next to me and retracts his arm, pops his finger into his mouth, and then slides his arm back around me. I watch—biting my lip in anticipation—as Em slowly slips his soaked digit into Goose's ear. Goose's forehead creases as Em's wet pointer finger slides in and out slowly, finger-fucking his ear. I cover my mouth with my hands as Goose puckers his lips in his sleep and lifts his hand to smack Em's away.

Goose's eyes slide open slowly and then blink rapidly as he registers what just happened to him. He frowns deeply, his forehead creasing in disgust as he starts to vigorously rub at his ear. Em just smirks and blows Goose a loud kiss. Goose rolls his eyes and looks to his left at Alice and Peter. A giant grin spreads across his face, signifying that he's up to no good.

Both Alice and Peter are too in the zone to notice Goose leering at them. I have to bite my tongue to stifle my laughter as Goose lays his hand over Peter's crotch and starts to rub at it vigorously. Em leans around me to see what's caught my attention and immediately lets out a huge guffaw of laughter as Peter's hips lift and thrust against his own brother's hand.

Em's laugh, which makes Peter realize that he's on the receiving end of an incestuous handy, causes the person behind us shush us and kick the back of Em's seat. Em angrily whips his head around to shoot the person a glare and they immediately back down when they realize how huge he is.

"You're fucking sick!" Peter hisses at Goose, his swollen lips pulling down into an angry frown.

"You looked like you needed some help." Goose murmurs with a shrug while reaching out to honk Peter's junk again. Peter lets out a frustrated sound and gets up. With his hand firmly wrapped around Alice's wrist, Peter storms out of the theater with a huff.

Jeez, he's so dramatic.

Goose and Em chuckle and then bump knuckles in celebration. My friends are mature.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"Are you avoiding me?" Alice gripes, throwing the door to our dorm open. It bangs against the wall and then slowly slides closed with a muted click.

"What?" I ask, barely looking up from my laptop as my fingers glide over the keyboard. I have a paper due in a week and I'm in the zone right now.

"I said _are you avoiding me_? You've barely spoken to me this week and you totally keep trying to distract me with Peter, which isn't working _by the way._" Alice huffs, tossing her shit onto her bed in frustration.

"Can we not talk about this right now? I'm in the middle of something." I growl, slamming my fingers onto the keyboard aggressively.

The truth is I _have _been avoiding her. My head has been a complete mess ever since that dream. I can't get the idea that mom could be cheating on dad still out of my head and it's really bothering me.

"No." She shouts, stomping over to my bed. "You've had your time to think, now it's time to talk this through. Don't think I haven't noticed you moping around! What did he say? And have you heard from him since?"

I cover my face with my hands and take a few deep, cleansing breaths. I can do this. I'm going to calmly tell Alice what Edward told me, and we're going to sit down and have a mature discussion about this whole mess.

So that's what I do. Alice sits herself at the end of my bed and doesn't speak until I finish recounting the entire story. Her face is pensive as she steeples her fingers underneath her chin.

"Well… that certainly conflicts with the story Renee told you." She states. I give her a look that says _well fucking duh, stooopid._ "What do you think? Do you believe him?" She asks, shifting so that she's now hugging her knees to her chest.

I gnaw on my bottom lip before I reply. "I didn't at first… I thought he was trying to turn me against my mom… but partway through his story I realized that he really was telling the truth. From a girl's perspective, it really seems like mom was stringing him along because she liked the attention she was getting from him. And she controlled him like that because she wanted to keep him to herself."

Alice nods and strokes her thumbs against her shins thoughtfully. "So what's got you all tied up in knots? You know now that Edward fucked you because he wanted to fuck _you._ What more is there to freak out over?"

I shrug my shoulders and scrub my hands over my face. "It's not that simple. Now I know there's like… this huge cluster fuck of a situation in addition to the cluster fuck we created by having sex with each other. Like the whole yearbook thing… What the _actual _fuck is up with that?"

Alice shakes her head and smirks at me. "Sounds like your mom is taking crazy pills or something. Did the ink look fresh? Or was it like… old?"

I wrack my brain to try and conjure the image of the writing. It was written in blue pen, and appeared to be faded. "It looked pretty old, Alice… I don't think she wrote it just so I would see it… I mean, what would be the purpose of that? She doesn't even know about Edward and I!"

"How do you know that?" Alice says back, her eyebrows lifting suggestively. "You two weren't exactly sneaky about it."

"She doesn't… if she knew… she'd like… say something!" I huff, growing more and more and more anxious. "She's not that passive aggressive. That's just not like my mom at all."

"But do you even _know _your mom, Bella?" I give her a bewildered look and nod my head. "Are you sure? Even after all you've learned this weekend?"

I pull my lip into my mouth and suck on it as I mull over what she's said. My mind conjures up the image of her sucking off that guy in my dream.

Maybe she's right… maybe I really _don't _know my mom. Maybe she does know about Edward and she planted that yearbook for the sole reason of scaring me away from him… or whatever.

But when I think back on it… I can't help but feel like she didn't do it on purpose. The writing _was _faded. It was actually pretty hard to read, like the pages had rubbed against each other and blurred the letters a little bit.

"Maybe I don't know the girl she was _back then_ but I know the woman she is now." I reply, leaning back onto my pillows. "Besides, the writing was entirely too faded to be fresh."

"Okay." Alice sighs, dipping her head to peer at her freshly painted nails. "So you think the yearbook thing was an accident. And that the entry was put in there for another purpose…"

"Yeah." I sigh, "I think so…. What that purpose was, we'll probably never know."

"Probably." Alice says, "Unless you confront her about it."

"I don't…." I begin but trail off, thinking of how a confrontation between my mother and I would go. It would be explosive, that's for sure. If you think _I _have trouble reigning in my emotions and opinions, you should meet my mom. It would be a frustrating rollercoaster of a fight.

"You know, even if you did confront her about it there's no way she'd tell you the truth. She went to great lengths to cover up what actually happened with the yearbook… brewing up another lie wouldn't be so hard for her after she came up with that extremely convincing tall tale."

"I would never confront her, anyways…" I murmur, picking at my cuticles. I really need a manicure.

"Why not?" Alice asks. "You never back down from a good confrontation."

I roll my eyes at her and shrug my shoulder. "Edward told me not to. He doesn't want any more drama… I'm sure he's got enough with that crazy ex-wife of his. Did I tell you she beat the hell out of his Range Rover with a tire iron?"

"Why would she do that?" Alice asks as her face morphs into a look of surprise.

"No idea…" I murmur, bringing my finger to my lips to nibble on my thumbnail.

"Stop that." Alice growls, smacking my hand away from my mouth. "You didn't ask him why?"

"You're so bossy." I say with a huff. "And no. It's none of my business."

"Right." Alice laughs, "For the short amount of time that I've known you, you've never struck me as the kind of girl that does what people tell you to do."

I purse my lips and look away. She's right and she knows it. I don't like being told what to do and I usually make a point of doing the exact opposite of what you tell me to… But that isn't the case this time.

It's not that I'm doing what Edward's telling me to do… it's that I don't necessarily want to open that can of worms. Especially after that dream… I mean, obviously I know it was just a dream but what if… what if it's actually _true._

_What if mom is cheating on dad still?_

Do I want to know? I'm not even sure… And if I found out… how would I proceed if I became privy to that information?

_Would I tell dad?_

No… I mean I would _want _to…. But I don't want to be the person that delivers the news that breaks his heart.

_How would I even act around mom after that?_

I probably wouldn't even want to see her again after that… which would be sad because, I mean, she's still my mom. I can't _hate _her, but I'd _want _to. Dad's been nothing but great to her. He adores her. He treats her like his Queen. Everything he's done in life has been for her… and of course for me. If she's been cheating on him…

_I don't even want to think about it._

"I'm not doing it for him… I'm doing it for me." I reply, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth.

"For you? How would being quiet make things better for you? You'd get your questions answered. You'd get the satisfaction of sticking it to her for being such a psycho!"

"I just…" I say, pausing to chew on my lip. "I just don't want all that drama."

"Says the biggest Drama Queen I know." Alice huffs. "You confronted Edward in front of a whole bar! What's changed? What's different about this situation?"

"You don't understand!" I cry, slapping my hands down onto the bed.

"I KNOW!" Alice laughs, "That's why I'm asking you these questions! Make me understand, Bella!"

"Fuck!" I growl, rubbing the heels of my hands into my eyes. "I just… I just don't want to know any more than I know now, okay? This is enough. I'm scared… I'm scared I'm going to dig something up that I can't fucking handle and it's going to kill me… Kill my dad… ya know? I'd rather just… not know."

"Here we go again with the avoidance issues!" Alice huffs. "If you just sweep it under the rug it's going to get worse! What are you scared of? I thought you told me the whole story…"

"I did… I'm just being paranoid." I sigh, worrying my lip.

"Tell me… stop holding it inside… I'll understand, I promise." I widen my eyes at her and huff.

"You can't promise to understand." I say with a laugh, "There are going to be some things that I say and do that you'll never understand, Alice." She just gives me a look that says _you know what I mean_ and motions for me to continue. "Okay, I'll tell you… just let me think about it for a second."

"Let you think about it? You've been stewing over this for days… I'm pretty sure you've had tons of time to think!"

"Fine!" I huff, "I just… don't know how to phrase this… I had this dream that my mom was cheating on my dad still… but with a different guy—not Edward. And it just got me thinking… if my dad wasn't enough for her back then, what's to say he's enough for her now… ya know? I just… I don't know how I would handle finding out that that is going on… I don't think I would want to keep that from my dad… It's just not fair to do that to him."

"Hmmm…" Alice hums, pinching her lips together. "I feel like, although it's a definite possibility, you're being too hasty and jumping to conclusions. Don't be afraid of learning the truth… if you find out, you find out and then you'll go from there. You can't live your life hesitating at every corner because of what _could _happen. You'd never get anywhere!"

"You're right…" I sigh, rubbing my temples.

"I'm always right!" Alice laughs, patting my knee. "You'll be okay. You know what to do."

"Yeah..." I murmur, "I guess I do."

"You know you do." Alice chirps, "Gotta go or I'll be late to class. Meet you downstairs for dinner at 6?"

"Yup!" I reply. She then slings her backpack over her shoulder and hurries out of our room gracefully.

With a sigh of relief, I fall back onto the bed and curl into myself on my side. I'm really getting tired of being in the middle of all this drama.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Later that night, my phone lights up as I receive a text message. It's from Edward. My stomach ties up in knots as I slide my finger across the screen and unlock my phone in order to view it.

_**Hey, how are you doing?**_

That's a loaded question. I'm not even sure how to respond to that.

_Good, wbu?_

God, that was a lame response. I should have put more. He's not even going to reply now because my response makes it seem like I'm not interested in talking. Should I send something else? I really hate double texting people… especially guys. It makes you come off desperate… But maybe older guys are cool with girls double texting them?

Fuck, I'm going to give myself an anxiety attack.

_**That's good. Have you thought much about what I told you?**_

Huh… that's funny. I haven't stopped thinking about what he's told me.

_Yeah, I've thought about it a lot._

I'm so verbose… I just… I'm really fucking up with this.

I throw my phone down on the table and fist my hands in my hair. Alice peers at me curiously as she takes a bite out of her chicken wrap.

"What's up?" She asks around a mouthful of food.

"I suck at talking to boys… I mean men… or whatever." Alice raises an eyebrow and drops her wrap down onto her plate.

"Who are you texting?" She asks, then leans over to look at the notification on my phone when it vibrates against the table. "Edward? Lemme see! I can coach you through it!"

"Stop it!" I cry, wrestling the phone out of her grasp. She pouts at me and slumps back into her seat with a huff.

_**And…? What have you decided?**_

_That I believe you and forgive you for the crimes you did not commit… or whatever. _

There we go… I was a little more verbose this time. I smile at myself in congratulations and go to place the phone back onto the table. Alice—of course—lunges across the table and snatches it up before I even set it down.

I watch calmly as she scrolls through the entire conversation. Her face not giving away any tells on how she feels about it.

"Interesting." She says after a minute, "He likes you."

"How do you know that?" I scoff, snatching my phone back.

"Come _on!_ He's like…. Adamant on knowing whether or not you think he's a creeper still. He likes you." I roll my eyes at her and shake my head.

"Or maybe he's just a normal person checking in after a really emotional conversation." I say back, pushing the ice around in my cup with my straw.

"Okay, well since you refuse to recognize the fact that he likes you I reserve the right to say 'I told you so' when you two start dating." Alice huffs, giving me an exasperated look.

"You're fucking psycho." I laugh, "Next thing I know you're gonna be planning our wedding and picking out baby name suggestions. Calm your tits, it's just a text convo."

"You're so mean to me." Alice whines. "I'm just being optimistic!"

"Whatever." I laugh, "There's a big difference between optimistic and delusional. Not everything's sunshine and rainbows. We fucked and now we're trying to be mature about it by moving on and being friendly with each other."

My phone vibrates against the table again. Alice tries to make a grab for it but I beat her to it. I shoot her an irritated look and unlock the phone to see what he's said.

_**Good. Can I call you later?**_

"Lemme see!" Alice cries, reaching out her arm and grasping at the air like a little kid would.

"Stop it!" I laugh, swatting her hand away.

_Yeah, of course you can._

I immediately hand my phone over to Miss Nosy and sit back into my seat as she scrutinizes the whole conversation again and again.

"He definitely likes you." She says as she hands the phone back. "You can be in denial all you want, but I'm almost one hundred percent positive he's into you."

"Whatever you say, oh wise one." I mutter, mock bowing to her. She cheeses back at me and frames her face with her hands all cutesy and shit.

"Glad you're learning to worship me." I roll my eyes at her and gather my shit to leave. I've had enough of this conversation and I'm done with dinner. Plus I'm full and not going to be getting any more food tonight. And on top of that the food in this dining hall is shit. The only time I'm satisfied with what I get in this dining hall is when I come in for Late Night Dining. And that is only because I come in shit-faced.

Just as I'm dumping my trash into the garbage can, my phone starts to vibrate in my back pocket. I plop my tray down on top of the trashcan and pull my phone out. The name that lights up the screen makes me pause.

Mom Mobile.

_Accept or deny?_

I let out a shaky breath, squeeze my eyes shut, and clench my jaw before tapping the accept button.

_Here we fucking go._

"Hey mom."

* * *

**Sup?**

**What'd you think? Good? Bad? Whatever? Fuck you for putting in so much filler?**

**About that, I get so bored when writers only do E/B scenes in their stories. So you're going to see more of B's regular life spliced in along with the E/B scenes. I mean, the girl has a life outside of Edward! **

**Oh, and the other day I was looking up pictures to use for a banner that I'm going to make for my next story and I was on Google images of RPattz… dude… I'm sorry for being a butthead a while ago. I told you guys that I didn't think he was hot, but that is false. Because he's actually pretty hot! I just hadn't looked at him, _looked at him _in a while. That leads right into my weekly story...**

**So, I was out with my friends like a week ago. And we went to Monty's for happy hour (Bar/Restaurant in Miami) with my friend's guy friends. So one of them is a recently graduated UMiami football player and he was telling me that Tacobell is his "orgasm food." And I was like, "yo, Tacobell is trash" and he goes off on me! He was all like "when was the last time you ate Tacobell?" and I was like "I don't know, 7th grade?" And he goes on to tell me that I probably had some shitty thing on the menu like a soft taco and that's why I hate it. But that if I went back now and ordered a grab bag of different things I'll find something that I like on the menu and THAT will become my "orgasm food."**

**Anyways, that story had a point. The last time I looked at RPattz was when his nipples were painted white and he was trying really hard not to speak with an accent (so he ended up sounding constipated) in Twilight... and I was extremely turned off by him. But after extensive research, I've deemed him attractive sans white make up and using his normal voice. So long story short, RPattz in Twilight is my soft taco, but RPattz all scruffy and cute and ruddy in Google images is my Cheesy Gordita Crunch.**

**And in case you were wondering, I have yet to visit Tacobell. I just googled that name because I remember hearing about it on one of the Tacobell commercials and I'm pretty sure that's what the football player said was his orgasm food… ****Also, if you were wondering what my orgasm food was… it's definitely got to be chocolate lava cake. I mean, c'mon… so fucking good.**

**Question: **What's your orgasm food?

* * *

**And now for your weekly installment of "_Edward's Pants Party: Your Baby Daddy's Juicy Lemisodes" where Edward totally ravages the readers..._**

**Lemisode Five**

"Ow!" You gasp, your body jerking in surprise as his teeth sink into the flesh of your ass. His soft tongue flicks out to soothe the irritated skin as his hands crawl up your body to knead your hips

"Fuck you're so sexy." He gasps, placing tender kisses all over the skin of your behind. His fingers trail up your sides and brush the outer edges of your breasts before retreating back to your hips.

"Unnfff." You moan, arching your back as his tongue slides up and down over the line of your spine. His hands creep underneath you and his arms fold over your waist, holding you to him as he lavishes your back with kisses.

"Your skin is so soft." He sighs, nuzzling the side of his face between your shoulder blades. You can feel his prominent erection pressing into your ass. He's huge.

"C'mere." He says, grasping your chin in his hand and turning your face towards his. His mouth immediately descends on yours, soft lips sucking and pulling as he consumes you. You lift your ass up a little and rub it against his crotch, drawing a moan out of his chest.

"Fuck, you feel so good." He gasps, scrambling to flip you over onto your back. His hands immediately go to your exposed breasts, fingers plucking and pulling your nipples.

"Oh, fuck. Edward…" you gasp. One hand tangles in his wild hair, the other travels over his body above yours. He's shirtless… when did he take off his shirt?

* * *

**Cock blockin' like no other.**

**See you… Saturday?**

**Yeah, Saturday.**

**xoxo**


	17. Chapter 16

**Happy Hump Day everybody! **

**Whew, last weekend was busy… I had to work a fan festival for work and that shit was stressful and crowded and… ugh. Plus side of it all, I looked really cute AND I got to boss around football players! I even got to touch a few (; not sexually… unfortunately.**

**Anywhooo. I'd like to thank my beautiful prereaders Rachel and Domie for being amazing. Literally don't know what I'd do without you two… Probably write boring ass filler chapters for 10 chapters straight… LOL**

**Also, to those of you that reviewed: lurrrve you. I know people are getting cranky waiting for more E/B time… I just ask that you be patient. The E/B time will be here before you know it...**

**Stephenie Myer owns all Twilight series characters. I own the plot.**

* * *

"Hey mom." I say as I run my fingers through my hair.

"_Hey baby doll! How's your week been going?"_ Her voice instantly pisses me off and makes me want to tear things apart but I push those feelings aside because I'm still unsure how I'm going to proceed with this. It can go one of two ways: I can confront her and get into a giant fight or I can pretend like nothing's wrong and salvage the teensy shred of a relationship that exists between us.

"It's been… busy and stressful." I answer truthfully as I make my way out of the dining hall. I motion for Alice to go on without me when she stops at the door and gives me a curious look.

"_Aw, I'm sorry baby doll. I'm sure it'll let up later on in the year, yeah? Or you'll just get used to the course load after a while." _I don't understand the point of this phone call. Why did she call me if she was just going to make small talk? She should have just texted me.

"Yeah mom, I'm sure it will…" I reply as I sit down on one of the gliders positioned on the bridge between the two freshmen towers.

"_So your father is going up to Miami tomorrow to visit with Edward. I'm going to send up some food and money with him so he can stop by the dorms and give it to you." _I stop trying to rock the glider back and forth and stare down at my feet as they bounce against the floorboards. Just hearing his name come from her lips causes memories of the dream—both dreams—to flash back in full force.

Mom and Edward… Mom and thumper… Sickening pairings that _shouldn't_ exist…

"Oh…" I say, my heart pounding in my throat. "Okay, that's cool. Thanks mom. What are they going to do?" I ask, and then add at the last minute, "I didn't realize Edward lives in Miami." Because I really _shouldn't _know that he lives in Miami. As far as my parents know Edward and I have had zero contact since his fishing trip two years ago.

"_He lives in Brickell, whatever that means… They're going golfing with one of Edward's colleagues." _ Golfing, of course. I should have known. There's nothing Dad loves more than fishing and golfing.

"Oh, sweet. That's awesome. I know dad's been wanting to hit the links for a while now…"

"_Yeah, baby doll. Well I've got to run. I was just checking in on you and letting you know about your father. Knowing him he'll just show up at your dorm without any notice and expect you to be downstairs waiting for him already." _I bring my thumbnail up to my mouth to tear at my cuticle while I force out a harsh laugh.

"Yeah, okay mom…" Should I do it? "Ummmm…."

"_What is it baby doll?"_

Just say it.

Do it.

Open your mouth and say it.

Say you know.

Tell her.

Fucking say it.

My mouth won't open.

_"Just… don't say anything. _Please._ She didn't tell you the real story for a reason… and I don't want to start any unnecessary drama. It's in the past and we're all finally okay with each other. Just let it go, Bella."_Edward's words echo in my head. He doesn't want any more drama. _I _don't want any more drama. _This _would be _way _too much drama.

She's my mom. If I confront her about something that really shouldn't concern me it'll fuck up our entire relationship. Do I want to do that? Is it worth it? Maybe… But after I get my answers the relationship between my mother and I will never be the same.

Can I live without a relationship with my mother?

No. Regardless of the fact that she annoys the hell out of me sometimes, I can't see myself hating her and never talking to her again. If I do this, I'm almost a hundred percent positive we'll get into an explosive fight that will result in us never speaking again.

Well… maybe not _that_ dramatic… but we'll be pissed at each other for a long time.

"_Baby doll? Are you there?"_ Mom asks. Her voice has a panicked edge to it on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, I'm here. Sorry, I got distracted there for a second."

"_Hmmm, anything you want to talk about?"_ No… god, no.

"Just saw a hot guy, is all." I fib, pulling my finger away from my mouth when I taste blood. Shit.

"_Oh, okay. I'll let you go. Go to talk to him!"_

"Alright mom." I sigh.

I'm not avoiding the issue. I'm not. I know it's there. I acknowledge it. I'm doing this for the good of my family. There's nothing I want to do more than get some answers. And if I thought I could accomplish that, all while keeping a good relationship between mom and I, I'd confront the bitch right now. But I'm being realistic right now. If I confront her, I lose her. And I can't lose her… she's my _mom._

"_Bye baby doll."_

"Bye mom."

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

_**bella im downstairs**_

I smirk when I see the text from my dad the next morning. I bet he typed that all out using one finger.

_Coming!_

And then in a separate text I say:

_Since when do you text?_

Dad doesn't respond, and when I walk up to the driver's side of the Tahoe I see him cupping his iPhone in his palm while his other hand hovers above the screen with only his index finger extended.

_I fucking knew it! He's a one-finger texter!_

"Dad!" I giggle, knocking against his window. He immediately locks his iPhone and moves to get out of the car. I take a step back and allow him to swing his door open before I launch myself into his arms.

"Daddy! I missed you!" I cry into his warm, cinnamon smelling neck.

"I missed you too, baby." He murmurs, dragging his hand down the length of my hair while holding me to him with his other arm. With my arms still wrapped around his neck, I pull back to look at him. And I mean _really _look at him.

He stares right back at me with soft, baby blue eyes that are framed with long lashes and a network of smile and laugh lines. My eyes scan his face, taking in the nose that I had once pretended to finger-ski-slope down as a kid, the freckles that dot his high cheekbones and the bridge of his nose, the deep dimples in his cheeks that never seem to disengage, the full bow shaped lips that hide teeth marred only by a small gap between the top front two, and the longish wispy light brown hair that he is apparently growing out.

My dad is most definitely a fox. I have seen girls my age stop and stare at him. At 36, he can still pick up young girls so why would mom ever cheat on him?

"What're you staring at? Do I have a booger?" He laughs, wiping at his face. I just smirk and press my face against his chest again. Dad's arms awkwardly lift off of my shoulders for a second before coming back down. His chest rumbles underneath my ear as he speaks. "Wow, you really must have missed me. I need to stay away more often if I'm going to get love like this every time I come visit you."

"Love you dad." I murmur against his pastel blue polo shirt.

"Love you too, sweetheart." Dad sighs, rubbing his hands against my back. "But I have perishable food in the car and I was supposed to meet Edward ten minutes ago…" _Edward. _He didn't call me last night like he said he would… I wonder what that was all about.

"Okay." I murmur, releasing him from my clingy hug. "I'll let you get to it, then." He just smirks at me and opens the back door to get my food. After bogging me down with four bags of food, he kisses me on the cheek before bidding me farewell.

Standing on the curb with my hands aching from the plastic bags, I watch the Tahoe pull out of the parking lot wistfully. My theory has to be wrong.

It _has _to be.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Later on that night while sprawled across my bed watching Game of Thrones on HBOGo I'm surprised to see my dad calling me. I pause the episode and it's awkwardly right at the part where Theon Grayjoy is fucking that sailor's daughter from behind. I have to skip forward a little in order to not have that image staring back at me as I talk to my dad on the phone. I hope I don't look that constipated and awkward while being fucked doggy-style.

"Hey daddy! I get talk to you twice in one day, what gives?"

"_Hey sweetheart. Yep you do, you're one lucky girl."_ I roll my eyes at him and cross my feet at my ankles while casually reclining on my bed.

"Not that I don't like talking to you but I was in the middle of a TV show. What's up?"

"_Sheesh, you don't mess around do you? I'm calling because I just left Edward's and I have a question for you." _I sit up immediately at his words, already expecting the worst.

"Yeah…?" I gasp out. "Ask away." Please don't, really.

"_Are you down to make a little money? Eddie boy is taking a trip out to Oregon this weekend and he wants me to ask you if you'd be willing to watch the boys while he's away. He'll be home Sunday morning so it won't be for too long. And you'll be able to stay at his place, drive his fancy car, and eat up all his expensive food."_ I let out a huge sigh of relief and brush the hair out of my face as I mentally go through my schedule. I haven't heard of anything going on this weekend and I don't have anything too important due Monday so I most definitely can watch the boys.

But why doesn't Edward just ask his ex-wife, Tanya, to watch them? Can't he just dump his kids off with her while he takes his trip to Oregon?

"Yeah, I can definitely do that… but why doesn't he just ask Tanya to watch them? She's their mom after all… I'm not exactly sure that I'm qualified to babysit for that long… I'm not a very experienced sitter."

"_But you're an experienced shitter." _Dad says with a laugh.

"Ha ha ha, you are _so_ funny." I say sarcastically.

"_Glad to see you've finally acknowledged that. But all joking aside, Tanya doesn't have any visitation rights with the kids… so Edward's basically alone with them. And his parents just recently renewed their wedding vows so they're off on their second Honeymoon, otherwise he would have asked them. You're more than qualified, sweetheart. Brody is still obsessed with you, and he's the tough one according to Eddie boy. You'll be fine. I'll give Edward your number and let him coordinate everything with you. Hell, this could turn out to be a regular gig for you! Get that cash money, or however you kids say it these days."_

"Ew dad, stop trying to be cool. You're not." I say with a snort. "But if you think I can do it, I'll do it. Send him my number."

"_Oh good, sweetheart. You're the best! I'll talk to you later, okay? I'm about to get on the stretch and I don't want to get into a wreck."_

"Okay dad, drive safe."

"_Bye sweetie."_

I drop my phone onto my bed and immediately fist my hair in my hands. No visitation rights? But those are her kids! I wonder if she fought back? I would if my husband was trying to take my kids away from me.

Feeling the need to investigate, I pull up a new window on Safari and log onto Facebook. Ignoring all the new pictures and statuses on my newsfeed, I type Edward's name into the search bar up top.

His profile is pretty barren of anything new. He hasn't updated his status in a while and any pictures he has up are ones people have tagged of him. His profile picture is one of him shirtless, holding a Kalik, and standing in crystal clear blue water with the endless ocean as a backdrop. The caption reads "_Bahamas Trip, 2013."_

After lurking almost all of his tagged pictures, it's obvious that his ex-wife has unfriended him and untagged him from all of her pictures.

My curiosity is piqued.

I type Tanya's name into the search bar. None of the Tanya Cullens are the right Tanya, so I pull up another tab so I can Google Edward's boss to find her maiden name. The first result that pops up is a link to Edward's twitter page. I make a mental note to stalk that later and keep scrolling. After a few more links, I find what I am looking for and go back to Facebook to see if it works.

_Tanya Denali. Sounds like a slutty GM SUV. _

But I'm still unsuccessful. I can't find that ginger bitch anywhere. I go back to Google and search her using her maiden name… and then I have the information I need. She's remarried to some guy named Aro Volturi who looks to be old enough to be her grandfather.

_Now _I type in the correct name on Facebook. A giddy smile spreads across my face as I click onto the correct profile. I just love it when my stalking skills pull through for me. Alice isn't the only one who knows her way around the Internet.

The first thing I notice is that her Facebook security is tighter than a nun's ass… except for all of her profile pictures. Those I can look at. All but her most recent picture, which is a shot of her and her decrepit husband posing at their wedding, consist of obvious tit-shots or "model" pictures of her in her bikini. And none of them indicate that she has any kids or family other than her new husband. It's like Edward, Brody, and Gavin never even existed.

After a while I can't take it anymore and exit out of her profile. How a mother can completely abandon her kids and act like she never had any is beyond me. This Tanya bitch is a fucking nut. She could give my mom a run for her money.

_What the hell is it with Edward and psychotic women? And what does that say about _me_?_

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

_**Your dad just called me. Thanks for this! I really appreciate it.**_

I stare down at the phone in my hands, reading and re-reading the text over and over again before I finally tap out a response.

_It's no problem. I love your kids._

I worry my lip with my teeth and resume watching Game of Thrones in order to distract myself. Mom always says a watched pot never boils and I have a feeling that that can somehow be applied to text messaging.

After a minute or so my phone vibrates against my belly, notifying me that I have a text. I scrunch my eyes shut and unlock my phone before looking down at the message.

_**And they love you. So here's the plan: my flight on Friday is at 4 so I can pick you up at the school and you can drop me off at the airport. Sound good?**_

While I'm formulating a response, another text comes in.

_**I'd also like to have you come over tomorrow so you can see where my place is and meet my doorman. Just so you're not lost.**_

And then another text comes in.

_**And I also want to make sure you can handle driving my car. It's pretty fast… and expensive…**_

And then another one comes in right after that one.

_**Not that I don't trust you with it… but just to be safe.**_

I let out a nervous laugh and fist my hair in my hands. It seems like he's just as nervous as I am.

_Okay, all of that is fine, Edward. Pick me up any time after 2 tomorrow. _

His reply is instantaneous.

_**I'll be there at 3.**_

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Edward texts me telling me he's here at 3 o'clock on the dot. So fucking punctual. I've barely changed out of my pajamas, and yet he is expecting me to come downstairs.

With jittery hands, I brush the snarls out of my hair and then throw one of my light gray muscle shirts on along with a pair of distressed jean shorts and my black leather sneakers. I sniff my armpits as I'm heading to the door and immediately backtrack to reapply deodorant. I've got to smell fresh if I'm going to be flouncing around Miami with a hot daddy like Edward.

I don't hesitate this time when I see Edward's Jaguar parked against the curb behind my dorm. I just open the door and slide right into the passenger seat. He doesn't even look up from his phone as I buckle myself in. He just keeps typing away with an aggravated look on his face.

"Stupid son of a bitch." He murmurs under his breath as he punches his fingers against his phone rapidly. I watch, amused by his ramblings, as he continues to angrily type away.

"Fat fuck." He grumbles again, tapping his screen with finality as he sends whatever he's typing—or so I presume that's what he did.

"Well… you must not like this guy." I laugh, watching as he tosses his phone into the cup holder.

"Excuse me?" He asks, looking up at me for the first time as he shifts his car into drive. His intense pale green eyes meet mine, making my stomach jolt in surprise.

Trying to get myself to settle down, I break eye contact to stare out of the window for a second. When I bring my eyes back to look at him he's still staring at me shamelessly with one wrist draped over the top of the steering wheel in front of him. I watch as he tilts his head to the side a little while his eyes trail over my bright red face. I open and close my mouth a couple times before I'm finally able to speak.

"You were saying some pretty rude things as you were typing away on your phone there…" I say with a nervous giggle. "Something about a fat fuck."

Edward's eyebrows pull together as he looks me over one final time before he turns back to face the road. "I'm having an issue with a rival agent. He just so happens to be a giant asshole and fat fuck."

"Well that explains it." I say with a snort, my face finally cooling off. Edward just shrugs his shoulders and continues driving. "So, what's first?" I ask, reaching to change the radio station. Edward swats my hand away and frowns at me before looking back at the road.

"We've got to pick the boys up from school first, I'll show you our place, then let you drive us back to your dorm. You know how to drive stick, right?" He asks, peering at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Um… no… I don't." Edward just shrugs and continues driving like it's nothing. "Is the Jag a stick shift?"

"Yes, it's a manual transmission." He replies casually, "but it's not hard to learn."

"Edward!" I gasp exasperatedly. "I won't be able to learn before Friday! I can't drive stick! _It's not that hard _you say! I have a friend who still stalls out driving stick and she's had her car for years!"

"It's not a big deal, Bella. If you can't drive stick I'll swap my car out for one of my dad's cars before I pick you up on Friday. He's got a few automatics." I let out a sigh of relief and sit back in my seat.

The rest of the ride is relatively quiet aside from the country music that plays lowly out of the speakers. I vaguely recognize Luke Bryan's voice and scowl. Nothing against Luke—to be honest, I'd love to be _held against _Luke if you know what I mean—but country music just rubs me the wrong way. I can't fucking stand it.

I thank god when Edward pulls up to a school and puts the car in park before turning it off. He lets out a huge sigh and slides his fingers through his hair before moving to get out of the car. I watch his long body unfold, in a trance, before I have to scramble out of the car in order to follow him as he makes his way towards the school.

I have to run to catch up with him, and then lightly jog to keep up with his long strides. He barely looks at me as he ducks through a doorway and leads me down a long hallway bustling with little children.

I almost run right into his back when he stops in front of a classroom door and peers through the small window fixed into it. It's like—in that moment—all the tension in his body is drained out. His uptight shoulders drop minimally and his hands unclench. He swings the door open slowly and steps inside the room, his outstretched arm keeping the door open for me so I can pass through behind him.

My eyes are immediately drawn to the two little boys sitting together at one of the dwarf-sized tables. Brody, with his longish messy brown hair, is busy playing a game on an iPad while Gavin colors violently on a huge piece of paper. They both look to have grown a lot since the last time I've seen them… which was two years ago so it's no surprise.

"Oh hey, Edward! I didn't expect you to be here so soon! I thought you had work." A sugary sweet voice says from the other side of the room. My eyes immediately snap in that direction and narrow as they take in the petite ginger sitting behind a desk in the front. She smiles warmly in my direction and stands up from her chair to come greet us.

I try really hard not to scrutinize her as she walks over but it's like second nature to me. She's annoyingly pretty in a natural way. She's dressed modestly in a shirtdress, leggings, and ballet flats… without an ounce of make up on her face.

"Hey Vic. Nope, no working late for me today. I'm just showing Bella the ropes, she's agreed to watch the boys for me." I bite the inside of my cheek as I watch the two of them embrace. That's a bit _too _personal of a greeting for your kid's teacher… Who the fuck _is_ this bitch?

"Oh, you're Edward's new sitter?" She asks, addressing me with the most genuine looking smile I've ever seen. I want to spit in her face. "What happened to the last one you had? Did she try to seduce you?" She says jokingly, jabbing Edward in the ribs with her elbow. When he looks away and refuses respond her mouth falls open in surprise. "No way! That's hilarious! What was she, sixteen or something?" I grind my teeth together at the mention of _that _age. Little does this Vic woman know… Edward has _no _problem with sixteen year-olds.

"She was twenty, Vic. And _no _it wasn't hilarious. It was extremely inappropriate and unprofessional." Vic holds her hands up in surrender and backs away a couple steps with a huge smile on her face.

"Oooo-kay Mister Serious." She laughs, scrunching up her nose and shaking her head with a mock hoity-toity expression. _"So unprofessional."_ She grumbles, mimicking Edward's voice perfectly. "You better watch out, Bella! This one's one tough boss!" Vic says with a wink and a cackle.

"After that sordid performance, I think it's time to go. Come on boys, you two haven't even said hi to Bella yet!" Edward says. He seems to have cheered up after addressing his kids. I watch Vic out of the corner of my eye as she gives Edward a small smile before heading back over to her desk.

_Who the fuck's this bitch? _I fix her with a glare as she sits down at her desk and starts sifting through papers but when Gavin wraps himself around my legs I have to free ginger bitch from my lethal glare in order to stare down at his cuteness. "Hey Gav!" I cry, squatting to his level in order to get a proper hug.

"Hi Miss Bella." He shouts at the top of his lungs in cutest little helium voice before he wraps his arms around my neck in the most violent hug I've ever received. I give Edward a weak smile over Gavin's shoulder and rub my palms up and down over his tiny back.

Brody barely spares me a glance as he continues to play his game, but the pink tint to his cheeks and the tips of his ears lead me to believe he's more aware of me than he's letting on. After a minute of him ignoring me, Edward snatches the iPad right out of his hands and demands that he go say hi to me.

With an air of suffocating shyness, Brody stumbles over to me and awkwardly wraps his arms around my neck in a hug. I almost die when he whispers "Hi Bella" right into my ear. He's literally the cutest thing I've ever seen.

"Aw that's so sweet!" Comes Vic's voice from behind me. My spine stiffens immediately, which makes Brody pull away from me minutely and peer at up at me with wise blue-green eyes. He watches me for a second, pinning me in place with those eyes, before he pulls away to start gathering up his stuff.

Once the boys have all of their belongings together, Brody sidles right up next to me. I glance down at him as he slides his hand into mine and leans his head against my arm affectionately. Edward watches us silently as he robotically stuffs Gavin's sweater into his tiny backpack and slings his lunch box over his shoulder.

Brody, who is suddenly in a hurry to leave, drags me over to the door. "See you Monday, Auntie Vic!" He calls over his shoulder as he pulls me out of the classroom.

_Auntie Vic? _

But Edward doesn't have any siblings…

"She's not really their aunt." Edward says from behind me as he shuffles an energetic Gavin out of the classroom. "I don't have a sister… and Tanya's sister Irina doesn't really come around much. Victoria's my cousin… she watches the boys for me after school sometimes until I can come pick them up."

She's his cousin… Fuck. Now I feel bad for being rude to her… Especially since she's so genuinely nice. I'm an asshole… a jealous fucking asshole.

But then it dawns on me… if she's usually the one who watches his kids for him then why didn't he ask _her _to watch them this weekend?

Would it be over-stepping if I asked him?

Then again, he asked me to do it for a reason… so she must not be available. Or maybe he didn't even think about asking her. So then if I ask him about it he might just change his mind about me watching them. And I want to watch them!

_Do you really?_

Yes… or I might just want to spend more time with Edward… and this is a pretty good way of doing just that. I'll do pretty much anything to spend time with him.

"Makes sense." I say in response. Wow, I'm so verbose when Edward's around...

Edward just gives me an odd look before guiding us out of the building. Gavin runs ahead of us like a hellion until Edward tells him to stop, which he does immediately, while Brody stoically follows along next to me with my hand still clasped in his.

Both boys wait patiently at the back door for Edward to unlock the car, and then scramble inside once it's unlocked. I watch through the rearview mirror as Edward checks and then double checks to make sure they are both strapped in safely before getting behind the wheel.

Before he can even throw the car in drive, Gavin is whining for him in the back seat. Without even asking what he wants, Edward switches the radio onto CD mode and turns up the sound. I have to stifle a laugh as I watch Brody's face morph into a deep frown through the side mirror as _The Circle of Life_ starts playing loudly through the speakers.

And then I hear it. Gavin's little high-pitched voice singing along to the opening lyrics of the song… And I just know, no matter what… Edward will never be pussy-whipped because he's already baby-whipped by these two sweet boys.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

The condominium we pull up to is literally the most ridiculously big building I have ever seen. Edward hands the valet his keys before ushering us to the glass doors that lead inside.

They swing open before I can reach for the handle and a portly man with a giant smile ushers us inside through the glass doors.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Cullen." The doorman says, leading the way to the bank of elevators. The lobby is spectacular: all shiny marble and modern decor.

"Hey Will. " Edward says, watching as Will presses the up button for us. "You know I can do that myself." He says in a frustrated voice.

"I know… but it's my job." Will says with a genuine smile. Edward purses his lips before he shrugs his shoulders in defeat.

"This is Bella, she'll be staying at my place this weekend to look after the boys while I'm away on a business trip. Bella, this is William." Edward murmurs, gesturing between Will and I.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella." Will says with a kind smile.

"It's nice to meet you too." I reply, following Edward and the boys into the elevator as the doors slide open. Edward quickly presses the button for the 45th floor. The ride up seems to take forever and Gavin won't stop poking at Brody, which causes Brody to push him to the ground. With a sigh, Edward immediately picks up a crying Gavin and wipes away his crocodile tears while giving Brody a look that says _do that again and you'll see what happens. _

After what seems like an eternity filled with Gav's fake sniffles, the elevator comes to a stop and the doors slide open to reveal a stylishly decorated lobby. We all step out of the car and into the room, which consists only of a set of double doors, a potted plant, and several pieces of abstract art. Edward quickly unlocks the door and Gavin immediately squirms out of his arms and runs screaming into the apartment.

"Home sweet home." Edward says with a laugh while gesturing for me to head inside. I step through the threshold hesitantly and take in my surroundings. Edward's apartment, which is more of a house in the sky rather than an apartment, is an open floor plan backed by wall-to-ceiling windows that lead out to a wrap around terrace that houses a gorgeous infinity pool.

I follow Brody as he ambles into the kitchen and peers through the glass door of the fridge without even having to open it. The breakfast nook, which is covered in drawings of stick figures and indecipherable images, sits right up against those floor-to-ceiling windows.

"Would you like a tour?" Edward asks from beside me, ripping me from my mindless staring.

"Uhh… sure." I murmur, tearing my eyes away from one beautiful sight to stare at another. His looks are surreal.

Edward guides me through his home, which I now know is one of the many penthouses in this condominium, with ease. I feel like I am being led through a fucking maze. Who needs 5 bedrooms and 6.5 bathrooms? Apparently Edward Cullen does! And it's two floors! TWO FLOORS!

I thought by saying apartment, he meant a small shoebox with like 2 bedrooms and 1.5 baths... Not this opulent penthouse that basically takes a giant, steaming shit on my home in the keys.

"So, yeah, this is it." He says, gesturing around him widely. My eyes take in the room we are currently standing in. One wall is decorated with a scene from the Jungle Book and the wall opposite it is decorated with a scene from Tarzan. Gavin literally lives a little kid's fantasy room. It's a wonder he even sleeps at night. I sure wouldn't be able to… not with all the gorillas on the walls.

"_This _is _it?_" I repeat incredulously. "Edward… this isn't even real."

"Uh… yes it is Bella. This is my home." I roll my eyes at him and shake my head as I follow him out of the room, narrowly avoiding stepping on a Leggo with my socked foot.

"This place is incredible. I didn't even know places like this existed…" I murmur, following him down the stairs.

"This doesn't even compare to my parent's house. You should see that if you think this is impressive." Edward murmurs, taking the stairs two at a time. I follow behind him as he strides into the kitchen and pulls out a water bottle from the fridge. He holds it with two fingers and shakes it back and forth between them, raising his eyebrows at the same time. "Want?" He asks.

"Sure." I reply, completely enthralled by the view through the terrace doors. "How do you afford this place?" I ask as he hands me the water bottle. I immediately snap my mouth shut and cover my face in embarrassment at my stupid question. "I'm sorry." I mumble. My voice is slightly muffled by my hands covering my face. I need to develop a better brain-to-mouth filter.

"It's okay." Edward says through his hearty laughs. "I used to make a lot of money working for Clay Denali… but now I make even more money working for myself. It's not an extravagant amount but it allows me to lead a certain lifestyle and make sure my kids aren't wanting for anything."

"Mmmm, yeah. These boys certainly have it made, don't they?" I say as my eyes take in the modernly designed kitchen, the living room decorated in teals and tans, the sleek formal dining table, and the hallway that I now know leads to a home theater, gym, playroom, and stairs to the second floor.

"Yeah… they do…" Edward responds, looking more sad than happy about that. "Anyways, this weekend should be a pretty easy gig. Brody has a piano lesson with the music teacher after school on Friday. Gav usually has t-ball practice but his coach is getting married this weekend so it's cancelled. That's all the boys have going on, so other than that you guys are free to do whatever you please. I try not to let them go swimming in the terrace pool… for obvious reasons." He says, eyeing the infinity pool that appears to endlessly extend 45 stories above the ground. "There's a pool downstairs that's open to all residents that I prefer to take them to. I'll leave you with my credit card. Use that to buy whatever you need. Any number you'll need is on the notepad by the fridge… Um, what else?" He murmurs, scratching the back of his head. "Do you have any questions?"

"Do the boys have any allergies?" I ask, feeling proud that I even thought to ask that essential question. I'd feel so bad if something terrible happened while he's away.

"Nope, they're both completely allergy free." He says, shooting me a grin that makes me weak in the knees. "Anything else?"

"B-bed times? Any shows they can't watch?" I murmur, my heart hammering in my throat. Jesus he's gorgeous. I have no idea how I'm going to be able to stand being in the same room with him any longer without fucking attacking him or something. I mean I already know the attraction is mutual.

"They're pretty good about going to bed before 10. Gav can be difficult sometimes but he'll knock right out if you get in bed with him and rub his back for like… 5 minutes or so. Brody's pretty obedient. He'll head to bed when you tell him to… You just have to check in on him periodically to make sure he's not up reading instead of sleeping." Edward pauses and runs his fingers through his hair before continuing. "As for shows… the boys prefer watching movies versus TV. Gav likes anything animated and Brody is all about the Superhero movies. If you're going to watch TV I just ask that you make sure there's no cursing or nudity."

"Okay." I reply. "Got it. Which room do you want me to sleep in?"

Edward looks me over with squinted eyes while sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. After a pause that seems to last forever, he releases his lip and crosses his arms over his chest. My eyes involuntarily flit down to check out how his shirt stretches over the planes of his chest and highlights the ridges and ripples of his taught upper body.

_Holy shit…_

"It really doesn't matter to me. You can stay in my room or any of the guest bedrooms. Whatever's most comfortable for you." My stomach jolts when I hear him mention staying in his room and I already know I'm going to take him up on that. Earlier—when he was giving me the tour— I had to stop myself from jumping into his bed when he'd shown me his room. His giant, California King size bed looked so comfortable and now I can't wait to snuggle up in it. I bet it smells like fucking heaven.

"O-okay." I murmur, my chest and cheeks becoming hot with my blush. The corner of his mouth lifts as his eyes take in the change in my complexion. Busted.

"If we're all done here, I'll go ahead and take you back to campus. I'm sure you have more important things to do…" Edward murmurs as he pushes off from the counter he's leaning on. I shrug my shoulders and follow him—shamelessly checking out his ass—as he ambles into the living room to gather up the boys for our drive back to campus.

Taking in his home one last time before I head back, I can't help but picture what it would be like to live here... with these boys and their gorgeous dad.

That would be a dream come true…

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"Tell me again why you're not going to my party tonight?" Emmett asks impatiently, tapping his foot against the grass. He's been harping on me all week via text about how I'm not going to make it to his party. I've been pretty careful about avoiding him so he can't do in person… but unfortunately he caught me off guard as I was leaving class and hunted me across campus until I relented and allowed him to confront me on the green.

"I've said it several times but I guess I'll have to say it again. I made a commitment to babysit over the weekend. I can't back out of it." Em makes a face and huffs like the little girl he is.

"But _Bella!_ It's a party!"

"Yes. I'm aware of that, Emmett." I laugh, rolling my eyes at how fucking dramatic he's being. It's just a party and I'll be able to go to another one if he decides to throw one again.

"But _Bella! _It's _my _party!"

"Yes, Emmett. It's _your_ party." I say tiredly, rubbing the back of my neck as I watch people walk by. Some of them stop to gape at the big man whining at me and I can't help but glare in their direction to get them to look away. Emmett isn't some display in a museum. He has _feelings_, which apparently I've hurt by refusing to go to _his _party.

"You have to be there. It won't be right without you!" He cries, grasping my biceps in order to shake me back and forth.

"It wouldn't be right if _you _weren't there, Em. It'll be fine without me. A bunch of Rose's sorority sisters are going so you won't even notice that I'm not there. I can't back out of this commitment. This guy is my dad's best friend." _And the guy I'm completely obsessed with but that's beside the point._

"Okay… fine. I hate arguing and you're too good at it. I pray for your future husband because he's really going to need some Astroglide for all the ass-reaming he's going to potentially get." Em sighs and wraps me up in a hug. "I'll just miss you, is all."

"And I'll miss you too, Em." I grumble out against his massive pecs. I can't believe he gave in so easily. Then again, does he really care if I'm not there or is he putting on a show? With Emmett, you never know.

"I gotta ride out. Papi's picking me up by the UC so we can hit up the liquor store. Have fun with the munchkins, Bella!" Em yells, clapping me on the back before turning to walk away.

"Yeah, okay. You have fun too." I call after him. He shoots me a thumbs-up over his shoulder and takes off towards the UC. I watch his big body jog down the steps of the rock before it disappears beyond my field of vision. What a fucking weirdo, he is.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

_**Thanks again for agreeing to sit on my spawns.**_

I snort at Edward's text and immediately tap back a response.

_No problem. You going to be here soon? _I say instead of what I really want to say…

Is telling him I'd rather sit on his face too inappropriate or am I just being a prude?

While I'm waiting for his response I double check the duffle I packed for my extended stay at the penthouse. I had to make sure to pack appropriate babysitter clothes that are comfortable but still cover up the necessary parts. I also packed a few bathing suits just in case we decide to take a trip down to the pool.

_**Be there in 5. Sorry I'm running a little late. **_

_No worries. Take your time._

In order to kill time I scrutinize my appearance and second-guess everything that I've packed for the weekend. I'm wearing navy blue high-waisted pants with big buttons on the front, a tight white scoop neck top, and white and blue printed Toms.

_Do I look like a child?_

_Should I change into something that isn't as form fitting?_

Before I can formulate the answers to those musings, my phone vibrates on my bed. It's a text from Edward.

_**I'm downstairs.**_

The outfit dilemma is pushed to the back of my mind as I hurriedly scoop up my duffle and purse before heading out of my dorm. I comb through my purse, the door slamming shut behind me, to make sure I have everything before I jog down the hall to the elevators.

I count the floors impatiently as the elevator slowly makes its descent. I know this is time sensitive. Edward needs to be at the airport for his flight… that leaves in two hours. And I need to be at the school to pick up the boys in three hours.

When the elevator comes to a stop at the ground floor, I immediately hop out of it and speed walk out of the lobby. The humidity is stifling as I step outside, but I ignore the sweat the builds on my brow and continue my brisk pace until I'm standing on the sidewalk behind my dorm.

A shiny, silver Volvo pulls to a stop in front of me almost immediately after I set my bag on the floor. The trunk pops open at the same time as Edward slips out of the driver side in order to help me put my bag in the back. He looks fucking scrumptious in a pair of dark wash jeans, a cream-colored Henley, and navy canvas shoes with his aviators hiding his intense eyes. I hand him my duffle and avert my eyes in order to pull myself out of the daze his good looks have got me in.

"Want to drive?" He asks me, the muscles in his arms tensing and releasing under his skin sensually as he slams the trunk shut. Fuck… everything he does is sexy. He'd make scratching his ass look hot.

"Um, nope. I'm good. You're in a hurry so I'll let you… I don't want to make you miss your flight." Edward sucks his lip into his mouth and nods before heading over to the driver's side. I rub my hands down my pants as I hurry over to the passenger side and slide into the car.

The buttery leather seats are warm and comfortable against my skin. I'm fucking obsessed with this car. "Right so… there's navigation in the dashboard… so you can use that to get around. It's pretty easy to operate. Also, this car handles better than any car I've ever driven, so you should be good with it." Edward says as he speeds out of the parking lot. "All the insurance and registration information is in the glove compartment in an orange envelope… should you get pulled over."

"Okay, got it." I say as I watch Edward's profile. His face scrunches up in concentration as he drives. I try not to gawk as he sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, just now noticing that his top lip kind of flattens and bills out like a duck's beak when he does that. I glance away quickly, not wanting to get caught creepily staring at him.

Our drive to the airport is filled with comfortable silence. I only need to reprimand myself a couple times when I realize that I'm staring at him for too long, but he doesn't seem to notice or mind.

Edward's face is calm and gives away nothing as we pull up to the Departures area of Miami International Airport. I'd give anything to know what he's thinking right now…

He takes a deep breath, licks his lips, and unbuckles his seatbelt before hopping out of the car. I watch him impassively as he hurries around to the back to open the trunk to get his luggage out. When I hear him slam the trunk closed, I scramble out of the car to stand awkwardly on the sidewalk as he situates his bags and pulls his flight itinerary out.

"Alright." He says, joining me on the sidewalk after a minute. "I'll see you Sunday. Take good care of my boys, Bella." He murmurs, giving me a smile that makes my thighs quiver. "I'm sure you'll do fine. They love you."

"And I love them." I reply breathlessly, giving him a dazed smile. He smiles back and sets his laptop case on the floor to give me a tight, one-armed hug. I can't help but wrap both of my arms around his middle. He's so warm and smells so fucking good. I press my face against his chest and breathe in deeply before pulling away.

His eyes are closed but they slowly slide open when we separate; dark lashes lifting to reveal smoldering sea foam green eyes. I tighten my hands around the scrap of shirt I've unknowingly bunched in my fist and dart my tongue out to lick my lips. He peers down at me intensely, his eyelids drowsily lowered over his glazed over eyes.

It's one of those moments, like in the movies, where everything around us seems to slip away. If I could recreate this moment in a screenplay, the set would be pitch black with a single spotlight illuminating us.

My feet take two timid steps forward, bringing my chest flush against his stomach. His hands, which were previously balled into fists at my side, slowly slide up the back of my arms and leave a trail of goose bumps in their wake.

I'm pinned in place by his intense stare, his eyes sliding over my face and neck. My chest rises and falls with my rapid breaths and my thighs clench together tightly. All of my senses are tingling and focused on him and this moment. His hands glide over my shoulder blades and gently pull my hair back and away from my face.

I pinch my bottom lip between my teeth; my eyes focused on the general vicinity of his chin and neck as his thumb strokes the back of my neck. I watch his throat constrict as he swallows and then let my eyes drift up his face and settle on his lips. They look so soft… so pillow-y and inviting. My hands fist his shirt tighter as his pink tongue slides out to lick a long line of moisture across his bottom lip. Fuuuuuck.

My hands press down on his back, trying to pull him to me. He's so tall… I can't possibly reach his lips with mine without his help. His hand moves to cup the back of my neck as his face lowers towards mine. Slowly, so slowly.

He's so close; my eyes start to hurt from trying to keep his face in focus. His nose slides against mine like a lover's embrace. My heart flutters in my chest wildly. His thumb keeps stroking the side of my neck. He must be able to feel how fast my heart is racing for him. Our lips are only a breath apart. Just a little push forward and we'll be kissing.

I part my lips; my lungs desperate to take in the air that he expels with each exhale. I'll take anything he gives me.

I tilt my chin up to slide my nose along his. Up and down and over, I nuzzle him. Our lips brush against each other's several times, a kiss without pressure. It makes my stomach jolt every time my skin makes contact with his. I slip my tongue out a little, desperate to get a taste. But I won't actually _kiss _him. He has to do that. He has to _want _to do that. It's obvious that he wants to… but I want him to make the decision to… I want him to initiate it.

His breathing is just as labored as mine. His hands have fallen to my shoulders, cupping each blade in order to hold my chest against him. Preventing my escape. I slide my eyes open just a little and peer down at his mouth as I drop a kiss on the skin right beside it. His lips are parted, his pink tongue sitting just behind his plush bottom lip. I place another soft kiss on the other side of his mouth and his head turns, lips seeking mine like a magnet.

The first kiss is soft, our lips barely brushing against each other. I expel a puff of air I didn't realize I was holding and pull back a little, but his lips follow mine. All of the air is squeezed from my lungs as his arms wrap fully around me and crush me to him just as his mouth crashes against mine in a bruising kiss. One arm stays anchored against my lower back, the other slides up my spine and slips into the back of my hair. His lips part in order to suck my top lip into his mouth and my tongue reaches out to taste the bottom ridge of his lower lip. He releases my lip and sucks my tongue into his mouth instead. His mouth is so warm and soft. I taste everything I can reach before retracting my tongue, and then his pulls it back. My hands slide up the back of his shirt, trying to get as close to him as possible.

Our kisses turn hard and fast, all tongue and teeth and hands. All push and pull. He consumes me with an almost angry passion. I struggle to keep up with him, my mind stuck between being dazzled and highly aroused.

A car horn blares right beside us and it's like a bucket of ice cold water is thrown over us. All the lights come on, revealing the entire scene. We're standing in front of Departures, beside his father's car.

We quickly separate, still breathing heavily. My eyes scan over his face, taking in the bright red spots on his cheekbones and his swollen lips, trying to find any signs of regret. All I see is a highly aroused man who just got goodbye kiss cock blocked.

He clears his throat and pulls me in for another hug, drawing me to him by the hand he cups around the back of my head. I slip my arms around his waist hesitantly and press my face against his chest. My breathing, which is still labored, stutters when he leans his head down to drop a kiss against my temple before pulling away. Trying to milk this moment for as long as I can, I slide my arms from around him slowly. Taking my time, my palms slide over every dip and curve of his muscular back, sides, and stomach. When they've made a full circuit, I drop them down to my sides.

He peers down at me through long, dark lashes for a tense moment before he starts to speak for the first time in minutes.

"Here are the keys." He says in a gravely voice, dropping a set of keys into my palm. "I, um, attached the condo key to the keychain… It's a spare copy but it… it shouldn't give you any problems."

"Um… alright…" I murmur, watching as he bends down to pick up his laptop case before he slings it over his shoulder.

"Okay… well I'll just be going." He says, licking his lips while giving me another once-over.

Heat travels down my face and neck, settling on my chest as I bob my head up and down in a jerky nod. "Uhh… yeah… bye." I stutter out. His eyes scan me over once, up and down, before he lifts his hand to gently caress my cheek. I turn my face into his hand and press a kiss into his palm. His eyes, dark and hungry, watch me intently.

"I'll see you Sunday." He murmurs, running his thumb along my bottom lip once before he drops his hand to his side.

"Sunday." I repeat, licking my suddenly dry lips. He gives me a soft smile before pivoting on his heel and heading inside the airport. My feet refuse to move until the doors close behind him, blocking out my view of that perfect ass.

Once he's out of sight, I slump back against the passenger side of the Volvo and lay my head back on the hood.

Holy shit… what the hell just happened?

* * *

**Is it hot in here or… yeah it's hot. **

**Not going to lie, I'm starting to hate myself for being so good at writing love scenes but not so good at getting actual guys to reenact them with me. What is my life?**

**So, since I talked about the football players above I'll make today's story about the one time I went on a date with a football player. As a little background info, I'm 20 and smoking hot. No really… I'm j****ust kidding. I _am_ 20, but the smoking hot part is up for debate.**

**Back to the background info. I met this particular FB player at a party where he misunderstood my friendliness for flirting and kissed me. Although _he_ is smoking hot (this is not up for debate) I freaked out and dumped him off with his friends and then left the party. I'm not really into the whole kissing random dudes at parties...**

**This summer, he's finally registered for summer classes and is an official student athlete at my school. He'd been following me on twitter for a while, so I decided to DM him to see how he's liking it. We talked for a bit, and then he asked if I wanted to hang out. So I picked him up at his dorm and we went to the movies. He wanted to see The Conjuring (the movie I told him I didn't want to see) so of course that's the movie we went to. I was fucking scared out of my mind the whole time. Literally sweating my ass off and crying. He, on the other hand, was amused and kept trying to make out with me. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly into any of his advances because I was too preoccupied with how fucking scary the movie was. ****AND THEN when I went to drop him off he kissed me (which I was more than okay with) and groped my fucking boob… GROPED. MY. BOOB. During a fucking pop kiss! Like NO. That's just awful… LOL. **

**Anyways, that's the last time I'm going on a date with an 18 year-old… **

* * *

******And now for your weekly installment of "_Edward's Pants Party: Your Baby Daddy's Juicy Lemisodes" where Edward totally ravages the readers..._**

**Lemisode Six**

Regardless of the shirt mystery, your hands skim over his wide chest and down his cut abs, his skin smooth and hairless. The button on his jeans comes undone easily and he helps you push them down his legs, leaving him completely naked. You grasp his dick in your hand and groan. It's hot and long and thick.

The tip is moist with pre-cum, which provides you with little lubricant for the hand job you want to perform on him as foreplay. Getting innovative, you slip your fingers into your panties and lather them up with your juices before slipping them out. Edward watches, his mouth open in awe, as you slick the moisture on your fingers over the head of his dick and down his shaft.

"That's fucking hot." He whimpers, his hips tilting as he fucks your hand. You lean up and snag his bottom lip between your teeth and speed up the movement of your hand. The needy throbs of his dick match the ache between your legs. You've had enough of foreplay. And so has he.

* * *

**Guhh…**

**…**

**…**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**Sorry… I needed a moment to calm down a bit.**

**Expect the next update by this weekend… **

**xoxo**


	18. Chapter 17

**Hello my loyal readers! Yes, this is an update! I'm not going to write much up here because I'm sure you all are eager to just get to reading! I'll explain my absence at the bottom.**

**A big thank you to my prereaders and everyone who took the time to review/PM me asking if I'm okay! I'm fine, don't worry! Just having some time management issues! **

**On to the story!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight series characters.**

* * *

"I'm sorry I'm late, traffic was insane!" I grumble, pushing my damp bangs off my sweaty forehead as I hurry into Vic's classroom.

"No worries!" Vic says, her smile infectious as she ambles around from behind her desk. "Edward is usually two or three hours late. A half an hour is nothing. Anyway my flight doesn't leave until late tonight so it's not like you're keeping me from anything."

"Flight?" I ask distractedly while gathering the sheets of music Brody has spread out over the arts and crafts table.

"Yeah, Edward didn't tell you?" She asks, tucking a lock of wavy hair behind her ear. "My husband and I are taking a weekend trip to the Bahamas. That's why Edward needs a sitter."

_That explains it._

"Oh… he didn't tell me." I murmur, noticing the modestly sized canary yellow diamond ring set situated on her left ring finger for the first time. I don't know how I missed that.

"Well, it doesn't matter now… Anyways, I had no idea you were Charlie's daughter until Edward mentioned it! I should have realized…" She murmurs, shooting me a sincere smile. "The dimples." She says after a slight pause, gesturing to her own smiling face.

"Yeah." I laugh, threading Gavin's arms through the loops of his backpack. "He's my dad!"

"And… um… How's your mom?" She asks, perching herself on her desk. I look her over warily for a second over Gav's head before responding.

"She's good…" I say, my voice coming out slightly unsure.

"Still working at the hospital?" Vic inquires; her face is next to impossible to read. What is with all the questions? Does she know about mom and Edward's sordid history?

"Yup. And my dad's still a cop." Vic nods and flashes me a smile.

"Great! Next time you talk to them tell them I say hi." I smile back and nod.

"Sure, of course. Come on boys, lets get going." The boys follow me towards the door, hands clasped in each of mine. "Have a safe flight and enjoy the Bahamas!" I tell Vic just before I close the door to her classroom.

_Phew, that was strange._

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"No."

"Yes!"

"I said no, Gav."

"YES!"

I stare down at the box of ice cream sandwiches I have clutched in my hands. Is ice cream and cookie a sufficient enough dinner? It most definitely isn't nutritious. Is this worth an argument with a four year old? It arguably is, but I've been arguing with said four year old all day so to me it isn't.

"Okay fine. But you have to eat your green beans afterwards." Fat chance in hell he will, but it's worth a try.

"OKAY!"

Where is the remote to control the volume of this child's voice? And is giving him more sugar really a good idea?

Brody glares down at his little brother from his perch at the kitchen bar. He's being cooperative and has eaten all of his chicken nuggets and most of his green beans.

"Is he always like this?" I ask him as Gavin runs off with his melting ice cream sandwich clutched in his hand.

"Yeah." Brody says, flashing me a shy smile identical to the one his dad sometimes does. "He's crazy."

"You think?" I say with a laugh as I dump the box of ice creams back into the freezer. "You didn't want one, did you?" I ask him as an after thought.

"No." He murmurs, pushing the beans around his plate with his fork. "I don't like cold desserts."

"What!" I cry, "You don't like ice cream?"

He just shrugs and looks away, his cheeks all pink and cute. "They hurt my teeth and head."

"Brain freeze." I say with a nod. "I get it now. Good reason."

He gives me another shy smile before scooting off of his chair. "I'm going to go do some homework."

"Okay." I say, picking up his dirty plate. "Yell for me if you need anything." He just nods and scurries off.

God he's such a cute kid.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

"What movie do you want to watch?" I ask Gavin as he jumps up and down on the couch.

"SHREK!" He yells at the top of his lungs. Brody, who spent maybe 20 minutes in his room "doing homework," covers his ears at the sound of his brother's shrill voice.

"You okay with that, buddy?" I ask Brody, who just shrugs and lays his head back onto the back of the couch.

Okay… Shrek it is. I'm just thankful it's a funny movie.

I take my time scanning the spines of the DVDs stacked on the shelves of the entertainment center. There are the obvious kiddie movie titles, the classics, and then some odd balls I would have never expected Edward to own. Like _Zorro: The Gay Blade_…

First of all, why the hell are there so many Zorro movies?

Second of all, what the fuck does "the gay blade" even mean?

It takes a ridiculous amount of time to find Shrek. But that might be because I'm too busy trying to psychoanalyze Edward based off of his extensive movie collection.

Not halfway through the movie both Brody and Gavin are passed out against each other. I take a minute to take in the cute sight before snapping a picture of them to send to Edward. My phone immediately lights up with his response.

_**Did you drug them? They're never asleep this early.**_

I smirk as I type back my response.

_No I just tired them out._

I start picking up the throw pillows the boys knocked off the couch as I wait for Edward to respond. I can't help the smile that tugs at the corner of my lips at the thought of him. That kiss earlier today was something else… My lips are still tingling from it.

My heart jumps into my throat when I hear my phone vibrate against the coffee table. I have to take a deep breath to collect myself before making my way over to it. The slight smile I have on my face falls when I see it's just a text from Alice.

_**Can I call you?**_

_Yeah, I guess._

My phone comes alive in my hand almost immediately after I send the text. "Eager are we?" I laugh into the phone.

"_Don't act like you haven't missed me, boo."_ Alice chirps. _"How is babysitting going? You're not too tired, are you?"_

"No. They're really well behaved." I murmur as I carry a glass of water that was left on the coffee table into the kitchen. "What's up? Aren't you going to Emmett's party?"

"_Yeah. I am. I'm just calling to check in on you…"_

"Awwww, do you miss me already?" I cry, dumping the contents of the glass into the sink before depositing it in the dishwasher.

"_Yes… it just doesn't feel right going to these things without you! I almost don't want to go… but Peter says I have to… and Rose said she'd kill me if I didn't come meet her brother." _

"Wait… you said her brother. Is Jasper here?"

"_Yeah… he didn't tell you?"_

"No…?" I trail off, the end coming off like a question rather than a statement. "I wouldn't be surprised about him being here if he had told me."

"_Oh… well that's strange. I'll tell him you said hi! But really, what's new with your life? I've been away from you for like… hours and I feel like it's been a month. What car did he give you to drive? And how awkward was the goodbye?"_

"He let me use his dad's Volvo." I laugh.

"_Volvo? I was expecting something more… flashy from a plastic surgeon!" _Alice exclaims.

"I know right?" I say back, barely containing my giggles.

"_And the goodbye?"_ Alice prods. I bite my lip to hold in my smile.

"It was the furthest thing from awkward." I sigh breathlessly.

"_What does that mean? OH MY GOD BELLA EXPLAIN!"_ I have to pull the phone away from my ear to avoid getting my eardrum blown out by Alice's shrill voice.

"Well… I'm not sure how it happened… but one minute he's getting his bag out of the car… the next we're kissing." The high-pitched scream that follows this statement cannot be English.

"Alice?" I say after a minute.

"_Just… hold on." _She mumbles in a raspy voice. Wow… she acts like she's the one who got kissed! _"Okay, I'm good now. Let me get this straight… you and Edward kissed?"_

"I'm pretty sure that's what I just said." I laugh, pushing my hair away from my face.

"_Holy SHIT! Was it good?"_

"Good?" I scoff, "it was _much_ better than good. It was indescribable. I can't even explain how amazing it was."

"_Wow, the man must have some talented lips on him."_

"And tongue." I add, biting my lip at the memory of what his tongue has done to me in the past. My thighs clench at the thought of it happening again in the near future…. Maybe even on Sunday when he comes back.

"_Can't forget that tongue." _Alice says with a giggle, _"So what now?"_

"What do you mean, what now? I'm going to watch his kids and then come home Sunday."

"_No. I mean… like with you guys? Are you guys like… talking… hooking up? Like what do you think is going to come of this kiss?"_

"I honestly have no idea." I grumble, running my fingers through my hair. "I haven't even thought that far… I mean, we aren't texting or anything… and we didn't like… talk about what happened right after it happened… so I guess everything's still the same as it was before."

"_So you still hate him, then?"_

"Um… obviously not. We literally made out in an airport earlier today. If that kiss would have been in private I swear we would have fucked."

"_Well then you can test that theory on Sunday."_

"Tempting… tempting…" I giggle, pushing off from the kitchen counter to make my way to the living room. "I gotta go… I need to get these boys up to their rooms."

"_Alright, you do you! I'll talk to you later."_

"Byyyyeee!"

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Sleeping boys are like dead bodies. They're so fucking _heavy!_ It took me like… ten minutes to get Brody upstairs just because I had to stop and take breaks every so often.

But now that they're all tucked away I have nothing to do with myself. I've tried to busy myself with cleaning up… but Edward's place is pretty tidy so I don't really have much to do…

I find myself roaming the hallways downstairs, taking in the pictures hung on the walls as I pass by them. They're a mix of cute candid shots of the boys, professionally done family pictures (without Tanya of course) and sports memorabilia.

I peak my head into the home gym and take in the wall-to-ceiling mirror that spans the right wall, fancy-looking treadmill and all the different weights and bars and balls strewn around the room. He must work out here a lot. I would if I lived here.

I feel super nosy as I creep down the hall and slip into Edward's office. He didn't really show me this room during his tour and I've wanted to explore it all day. A big wooden desk sits in the middle of the room with mountains of paperwork kind of exploded across it.

I cross the room and settle my butt down into the comfortable tan suede computer chair that sits behind Edward's desk. The cushions are soft underneath my shoulders as I slump back into it. This is definitely the kind of chair I'd want in my office.

After a minute of luxuriating in the chair, I sit up and start peering at the papers strewn across his desk. They're mostly contracts and stats… boring.

Leaning back, I pull the top drawer of the desk out and sift through its contents… pens, pencils, and a pack of gum. I find pretty much the same thing in the right drawer and then encounter a lock on the drawer underneath it.

After a minute of jiggling the handle I give up and slump back into the chair. Blowing my bangs off my forehead, I spin myself around in the chair to take in the rest of the room.

Bookshelves line the far wall and Edward's several degrees hang on the wall to the left. More sports memorabilia hang on the available wall space. I can vaguely pick out the messily scrawled names of LeBron James, Dan Marino, Ray Lewis, Tiger Woods and Peyton Manning.

What a weird mix…

I spin the chair back around and stare at the blank monitor in front of me. I wonder what kind of stuff he has on here… Does he look at porn? I can totally check if he does unless his browser history cleared…

I hesitantly grasp the mouse and shift it from side to side to awaken the computer. It whirls to life and prompts me for a password. I go out on a limb and just press the enter button. The computer immediately comes to life. I guess I'm not the only one without a password lock on their computer.

"Where to start?" I ask myself as I move the mouse along the dock on the bottom of the screen, watching as the icons scroll by. When the mouse moves over Safari my mind is made.

I don't even bother typing in a web address when the window opens. I just get right to snooping. I click on the Show All History button and start scrolling through all the websites Edward's been on. They're mostly sports sites... a lot of college athletics pages and player bios.

The history stops after a week and I almost give up my lurking when something jumps out at me from the screen. It's my name. He's been lurking my Facebook page…

My heart hammers in my chest as I scan the few pages that display my name on his browsing history. He was looking at my pictures… three of them. I bite my lip and sit back into the chair, closing my eyes at the thought of him sitting here in this very chair stroking himself with my picture on the screen.

_Holy fuck, that's hot._

My phone vibrates against the desk.

My eyes immediately flash to the lit up screen. It's a text from Edward. My heart flutters underneath my ribcage. I wipe my clammy hands down the tops of my jeans before reaching for my phone.

_**What are you doing now that my boys aren't up annoying you?**_

I roll my eyes at his words and spin around in his office chair, trying to think up a response. I'm definitely not going to let him know that I've been snooping.

_Your boys could never annoy me. And I'm just exploring._

It's the truth…. But put in a better light.

I close the browser and put the computer back to sleep while waiting for his response. It only takes around a minute for him to respond and when my phone vibrates I'm back to being nervous again.

_**Oh? And what do you think about my office?**_

My phone falls to the floor with a clatter. My eyes dart around the room, taking in everything, trying to find where he could be… or where a hidden camera could be…

My phone vibrates again and I stoop down cautiously to pick it up from underneath the desk.

_**I'm a father, Bella. I need to make sure my kids are safe… especially when I'm away.**_

I gulp and pull my bottom lip into my mouth before lifting my eyes to sweep the room once again. Where the hell is the camera? I don't se one anywhere.

_How long have you been watching me?_

His response is instantaneous.

_**Long enough to know that you're a nosy little girl.**_

Little girl. I don't like that word. I sit back in his chair and spin it around again, contemplating what to say next. I don't know what direction this conversation is headed, but I do know what way I'd _like _it to head.

_Do you have cameras in every room?_

He doesn't respond for a while and I start to get impatient. It's not a hard question to answer.

After a few minutes of me spinning around in the chair and glaring up at the ceiling, my phone vibrates. I try really hard not to lurch across the table to check it.

_**All but the bathrooms. **_

My mouth falls open in surprise. That must have cost a lot…. It's also kind of strange that he's gone above and beyond to get surveillance in every room. What is he looking out for? It's not like he's this crazy rich or famous guy… He's just an agent.

But maybe it has something to do with one crazy ex-wife… I mean he has sole custody for a reason… right?

Deciding now that I want to give this conversation a push in the direction I want, I type back with a coy smile set firmly on my face.

_So then you can see everything I do?_

His response is instantaneous.

_**More or less, yes.**_

_Interesting… _

I set my phone down on the desk and spin in his chair again, scanning the walls of the room. If only I knew where the camera was… I'd be able to do this properly.

My phone vibrates against the desk. I swivel around slowly and check the text.

_**What are you up to, Bella?**_

I shrug and drop the phone down on the table again. I'm up to no good, but thankfully there is nothing he can do to stop me unless he just stops watching all together… I'm just hoping he wont resort to that.

I'm still wearing the outfit I dropped him off in earlier, minus the shoes. Now seems like the perfect time to disrobe…

I slip the top over my head, leaving me in just the navy high-waisted pants and nude demi-bra. The cut of the bra accentuates my cleavage perfectly.

My pants are the next to go.

My fingers deftly slip the zipper on the side down slowly, making the fabric slacken around my waist and hips. I lift my ass up off the seat and tug the fabric off of me until the pants pool on the floor beside my top.

I'm now sitting in nothing but a skimpy bra and a barely there silky nude thong trimmed with neon pink lace.

I spin around in the chair to face the desk and check my phone. There's nothing from him yet to indicate that he's watching.

I shrug my shoulders and spin around in the chair again. I let my eyes drift around the room as I rub my thighs together. Where the fuck is the camera? Is there more than one camera? Is he even watching?

My phone vibrates against the desk behind me. I casually reach back and open the text.

_**What do you think you are doing?**_

Bingo. He's watching.

I drop the phone down onto the chair beside me and reach back to unclasp my bra. The straps slacken against my shoulders and slide down my arms. I lean forward a little and let it fall off of me and onto the floor.

I'm down to my panties and I can't help but wonder whether he's getting undressed too.

I cup my boobs in my hands at that thought, rolling my nipples between my fingers. I let out a soft moan and widen my legs so that the cold air can hit the damp spot on my panties.

I pull and tweak my nipples roughly, imagining his teeth… his tongue. My hips lift up off the chair, seeking friction.

My thighs are vibrating with need.

And then they stop.

And then they start up again.

I crack open my eyes and flit them down to where I know my phone is nestled against my leg. The screen indicates that Edward is calling.

I bite my lip and reach down to grab the phone, wanting to cup myself in my hand instead.

"Hello?" I answer breathlessly.

"_Bella, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"_ Edward asks angrily. His voice does nothing but add fuel to the fire blazing inside of me.

"Getting off, obviously." I snap back. I move my shoulder so I can use it to hold the phone against my ear as I slide my hand down my body, my other hand still playing with my nipple. My legs fall open further as I cup myself over my soaked underwear. "Oh fuck." I groan, taking in the feel of my warm palm against the wet silk.

"_Jesus, Bella." _Edward snaps. _"I can't even… what are you…"_ He pants out, starting to sound more turned on and less angry.

"Oh fuck…" I groan, rubbing my clit through the soaked material. "Just keep talking."

"_Bella… I…." _Edward stutters out, pausing to most likely watch as I slip my entire hand into my panties. His breathing is heavy as it carries over the receiver. I run two fingers down the entire length of my pussy, imagining its one of his as he pants into my ear.

"_Fuck… just take them off." _He murmurs, his voice heavy with lust.

"You want me to?" I ask, my fingers slipping out of panties. I trail them up my body, leaving a glistening path behind. The left over moisture on them feels fantastic as I twist and twirl my damp fingers around my nipple.

"_I don't know… fuck just take them off… let me see you…" _He sounds so conflicted… but I decide to just take the panties off anyways.

The silk slips off my legs easily and flutters to the ground not far from the rest of my clothes. I sit back in the chair; my shoulders slumped against the midpoint of the backrest and my ass hardly on the seat. The cold air of the room feels fantastic on my heated skin.

If it wasn't for Edward's deep breaths I probably wouldn't be able to tell that he's there.

"What are you doing?" I ask him, reaching up to cup my boobs again.

"_Nothing…"_ Edward murmurs breathlessly.

"You're not touching yourself?" I ask him, biting my lip as I drag my hand down my stomach.

"_Fuck…" _He groans, _"Not yet." _After a pause he adds, _"Why? Do you want me to?"_

"Yes!" I cry out, cupping my wet sex in my hand. My middle finger immediately curls inward and slips inside of me.

"_Fuck, Bella… what are you doing to me?"_ Edward groans. I can hear the sound of fabric rusting in the background and the distinct sound of a zipper lowering before he sighs. _"Move your hand, let me see."_

I drop my hand to my thigh and spread my legs wider.

"_Turn a little to the left… toward the bookshelves." _His voice is raspy and breathless. My stomach jolts at the sound of it. I swivel the chair so spread thighs are facing the bookshelves. _"Fuck you're so wet… I just want to suck on that little clit." _My thighs immediately clamp together at the thought of that. _"Does that make you hot, Bella? Want me to eat that pussy?" _

"Yesss…" I groan, rubbing my thighs together to get a little friction.

"_Open your legs." _Edward commands, his voice breathless and needy. I reluctantly spread my thighs. _"Sit up… and prop your feet up on the edge of the chair." _I follow his directions. My legs are spread wide.

"_Fuck… look at how wet you are." _I pry my eyes open and glance down at myself. My skin is flushed, swollen, and glistening with need. I drop my head back onto the chair and slide my hand down my body. I'm hot, wet, and throbbing.

"_Mmmm, fuck yeah. Play with that clit."_ Edward groans breathlessly, encouraging me as I slide two fingers down either side of my clit. I let out a strangled moan as my fingers make contact with the engorged nub.

"Fuck…" I bite out. "Edward… are you touching yourself?" I look down at myself as I say this, watching as my index and middle fingers wildly swirl around my clit.

"_Yesssss."_ Edward hisses out. _"Fuck… finger yourself. Imagine it's my fingers… my cock… my tongue…" _

My thighs clamp around my hand at the thought and I immediately open them again, imagining Edward's hands roughly spreading them. I slide my other hand down my body and slip two fingers inside myself as I continue to play with my clit.

"I wish… I wish I could see you!" I say around breathy moans. "I wish you were here… I want to… I want your cock… Your fucking everything…"

"_Yeah…" _Edward groans, _"I want to fuck you so bad right now… Bella… Fuck you're so sexy…" _Edward's breathing is ragged as I lift and thrust my hips against my hands, my thighs shaking as I start to reach my peak.

"_Fuck, Bella. Come… come all over my chair." _My eyes roll back at the sound of his voice, raw with lust. My toes curl around the edge of the chair as my hips lift up higher, my fingers still working inside of me as I start to come. Pleasure rolls over me in waves, making my stomach contract and blow out… undulating sensually.

"_Fuck! Uhnnn, Bella!" _Edward cries out, sounding like he's climaxing as well.

My hips drop down onto the chair, my fingers still buried deep inside of me. Edward's breathing starts to even out and silence descends over us.

I slip my fingers out of myself and pull them into my mouth to clean them off.

"_Fuck, Bella."_ He groans, _"I bet you taste so good."_

I shrug my shoulders, finding that I don't really taste like anything in particular. His laugh is soft and breathless as it carries over the receiver.

"_Okay then."_

"Okay." I murmur back, dropping my hands down to my thighs.

"_I should get cleaned up… I made a mess of myself."_ His voice is soft and sexy, still a little raspy from our phone sex.

"Yeah…" I murmur, moving to stand up. "I should too."

"_Yeah… you look a little… wet." _He jokes. I smirk at the bookcase as I stand up and stretch my arms over my head.

"I'm fucking _soaked._" Edward responds with a groan.

"_Fuck… Bella… That was…" _He trails off, leaving the statement open-ended.

"Awesome?" I finish for him, smiling at the bookcase as I slip into my underwear.

"_It was awesome." _He laughs, _"Don't put those on. Leave them in the right top drawer." _Edward murmurs, stopping me from pulling my panties up my thighs.

"Okay." I laugh, pulling them down my legs again and slipping them into the drawer.

"_Go get cleaned up… I'll be watching." _He murmurs, his voice soft and sensual.

"Okay…" I sigh, slipping into my pants. "Night, Edward."

"_Goodnight Bella."_

When the call ends I quickly slip my top over my head and grab my bra up off the floor before scurrying up the stairs and into his room. I toss my bra onto his bed and then slam the bathroom door shut behind me.

When I know that I'm free from prying eyes, I lean back against the door and slide down onto the floor. The smile that spreads across my face is so wide it hurts my cheeks and I can't stop the giggle that bubbles out from my chest.

Holy fuck… did that just happen?

* * *

**Hiiiii, did I make up for being gone for so long with this chapter? (: **

**Sooooo, if you all are interested in what's going on with me I'll tell you. Feel free to just skip down to the lemisode if you want.**

**I haven't updated in a while because I've been super busy. I just started my junior year at UM and I literally have homework EVERY NIGHT. I also have to work in the office at my internship every MWF so I'm literally being loaded down with all this work. ON TOP OF THAT, I have to work _EVERY SINGLE HOME GAME. _And I'm not allowed to cheer in the press box. And I _LOVE _football. It's like physically impossible for me to not cheer during a game.**

**So that's why I haven't updated in a while.**

**I'm going to try really hard to get the next update out by next week. Fingers crossed!**

* * *

**And now for your weekly(?) installment of "_Edward's Pants Party: Your Baby Daddy's Juicy Lemisodes" _where Edward completely ravages the readers...**

**Lemisode**** Seven**

Edward slaps your hand away quickly and hurriedly tears the red lace panties from your body. The sting of it is immediately forgotten when he slides his dick along your slit. The head brushes against your clit, making your legs twitch closed and your eyes roll back in pleasure.

"Want me to fuck you, dirty girl?" Edward murmurs into your ear.

"Yesss." You keen, lifting your hips to get more friction.

"I'm going to fuck you so good and hard you'll loose your voice from screaming my name." Edward growls, his teeth sinking into the skin on your neck. You cry out and lift your hips just as he plunges into you. You're so full, so fucking full.

Edward lifts his torso off of you and reaches up to grab onto the headboard before thrusting his hips back and forth, his dick pounding into you at a punishing pace. You struggle to hold onto something, for fear your head will be knocked back into the headboard if you don't. After a few bangs against the headboard, you position your hands flat against it and use it as leverage to meet Edward's hard thrusts.

Fuck he feels so good.

* * *

**Get it E! **

**Leave me some love... Some hate... PM me dirty things... FB message me... tweet me... whatever! **

**Love you all!**

**xoxo**


	19. Chapter 18

**Happy hump day everybody!**

**I don't have much to say today. I'm sick... my throat hurts and I'm losing my voice. **

**I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You all are the best! I also want to send out a shout out to my two favorite bitches: Domie and Rachel! You two are the best prereaders _ever!_**

**Also, I doubt you need a reminder but this is a Rated M fic for a reason! And that reason is because I'm a sexually frustrated pervert with a keyboard. **

**Steph Meyer owns all Twilight series characters. I own da plot.**

* * *

I am walking on eggshells for the rest of the weekend. After finding out about the nanny cams I try to spend little to no time hanging out with the boys in the condo just to avoid being spied on. Not that it's not hot or anything… it just makes me jumpy and self-conscious.

The boys and I spend Saturday morning on South Beach walking along the sand and rough housing in the water. By the time I get them back to the condo they are both covered in sand and sporting ruddy, sun kissed cheeks.

After our showers—I deliberately strip for mine in Edward's bedroom, in plain sight of his nanny cam—I take the boys to Monty's for dinner. I figure a little continuity is in order. We spent the day in the water; why not eat by the water as well?

As we are leaving I almost understand why parents put their kids on those leashes when Gav takes off after a seagull. I actually lose my shoes chasing him through the parking lot. Thankfully I have Brody, my trusty little assistant, there to pick them up for me after I pull a Cinderella.

Covered in sweat and with feet riddled with pea rock, I finally slump into the driver's seat of the Volvo and start the car.

"Miss Bella!" Gav cries from the backseat. I raise my tired eyes to check on him through the rearview mirror before pressing the button on the stereo to start his CD.

With the opening strings of _The Circle of Life _filling the car, I reverse out of the parking spot and zoom out of the lot.

"Can we get ice cream?" Brody murmurs from beside me, reaching to turn the radio down so I can hear his soft voice over the music.

"Sure, do you want something like Cold Stone or Swensen's?" I ask, instinctively taking the route that will lead us toward the University.

"ICE CREAM!" Gav yells from the back. I smirk at Brody as he covers his face in embarrassment.

"Cold Stone is okay with me." Brody murmurs from between his fingers, his tan face crinkled cutely.

"Alright, buddy." I say with a laugh, reaching over to brush his tousled hair out of his face. "You need a hair cut."

"NO!" He shouts, knocking my hand away from his hair. I immediately drop my hand back down onto my lap and frown at the windshield.

I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction from him.

"Sorry." Comes his soft, apologetic voice. I glance over to see him peering at me with somber blue-green eyes. "I just don't like it when strangers touch my hair. _You_ can touch my hair because you're not a stranger… just not the hair cut lady."

"Okay." I murmur, patting his hand affectionately. "You don't have to get a hair cut if you don't want to."

"Thanks." He sighs, relaxing back into his seat.

"ICE CREAM!" Gavin yells again, making his presence known. Brody and I make eye contact before rolling our eyes and looking back at the road.

"Yeah, we're getting ice cream G." Brody says to his brother, leaning between our seats to tickle the bottom of Gavin's foot. The car is filled with Gav's cute tinkling laughter and Brody's soft chuckles as they engage in a mild tickle fight.

I have to bite the inside of my cheek and force my eyes onto the road to resist smiling and trying to watch them act so cute with each other.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * * **

The boys are finally in bed and I find myself with nothing to do yet again. I'm tempted to have a repeat performance but there are other matters I need to address. Like what happened last night at Emmett's party.

"_Hello?" _Alice, being Alice, picks up on the first ring.

"What's up, what's up?" I say, closing the guest bathroom door behind me.

"_Um… nothing really. Doing… uh… doing homework. How's babysitting going?" _I frown at her weird tone but decide to let it slide… for now.

"It's been going good. Edward comes home tomorrow morning. How was Em's party? Did you get to meet Jasper?" There is rustling in the background before Alice clears her throat and it stops.

"_It was good. Peter and I got into a fight… over… some things. Em and Rose broke up for like 5 minutes. Some Lineman threw a table off of the balcony… Over all it was a strange party. And yes I met Jazzy." _I frown at her nickname for Jasper and sit down on the closed lid of the toilet seat.

"Sounds eventful. What did you and Peter fight about?" I decide to cover one question at a time because she's being really short with me right now. She must be stressed out or something.

"_It's a complicated story… Can we talk about this when you get back tomorrow?" _She murmurs urgently. The rustling in background returns and I can hear the low baritone of a male voice along with it.

"Um…. Alice? Is there someone there with you?" I ask, bringing my finger up to my mouth to nibble on the nail while I wait for her response.

Only her soft breathing can be heard for a minute before she finally responds. _"Yes. I'll explain later. This isn't a conversation I want to have over the phone." _

I frown at her tone. It explains why she's being so short with me. But why won't she tell me who is there? Unless…

"Alice… are you with Jasper right now?" I murmur lowly, my chest tight with anxiety.

"_Bella…" _she whines, giving me an answer without actually answering me.

"We'll talk tomorrow." I snap, feeling extremely agitated that she's trying to hide this from me. He's my ex boyfriend. I deserve to know whether or not my best friend is sleeping with him.

"_Okay… I'm sorry."_ She mumbles, actually appearing to sound apologetic.

"Okay." I sigh. "Tomorrow."

"_Tomorrow." _She interjects before I end the call.

I place my cell onto the counter beside me and drop my head into my hands. Its not that I'm jealous. I'm not even close to being jealous right now. I could care less if Alice and Jasper are sleeping together. It's the fact that she was trying to keep this from me that bothers me so much.

It also makes me wonder how long this has been going on behind my back. Alice mentioned Jasper coming down and Rose wanting them to meet just the other day… Is it possible that he purposely came down the weekend I was going to be unavailable so he can finally connect with Alice? I just… don't see him doing that.

And why didn't he tell me he was coming? I don't understand. I mean we've become more distant over the last month or so… but I feel like he would have told me if he was coming down to visit. I feel like he would have liked to see me at least _once_.

Obviously that isn't the case since neither he or Rose told me he was coming down. And there's also the fact that he's currently shacked up with Alice in my dorm room.

I shake those thoughts out of my head and wander out of the bathroom and into the kitchen just as the house phone rings. I peer at it curiously before heading over to check the caller ID. The person calling is listed as "PRIVATE" and no number is displayed underneath it.

I shrug and place the phone back into its charging cradle before turning to the fridge to scour its contents. I pull out a jug of milk and make my way over to the pantry to pull out a box of Oreos and a glass to pour my milk into.

I'm in the middle of pouring my milk when the phone rings again. The ID, once again, says it's from a private number. I press the end button to silence the call and go back to pouring my milk.

Just as I'm about to head in the living room to watch some TV the phone starts ringing again. At this point I've about had it with who ever is calling. The phone hasn't gone off once this weekend and now it's suddenly blowing up.

I don't see any solution other than answering the damn thing.

"Hello, Cullen residence." I respond in my most professional voice. Who knows who is on the other line? Edward _is _a sports agent… for all I know it could be Tom Brady!

"_I'm looking for Edward Cullen."_ A very firm feminine voice says.

"I'm sorry, Edward isn't here at the moment. But I can take a message for you." I reply, eyeing my Oreos hungrily.

"_Jesus, who are you? His secretary? Where the hell is he? I bet he's off in the other room fucking some bimbo while you're in the kitchen making him a sandwich. Tell the fucker that his ex wife is on the phone; he'll drop whatever he's doing to talk to me. I guarantee it." _My mouth falls open at her crude language.

"Um… I'm sorry… I'm just Edward's baby sitter. He's not home at the moment so… I can't get him to the phone right now." Tanya huffs on the other end before responding.

"_Fine, whatever. Just tell the asshole I called." _She says before hanging up. I frown at the phone before pressing the end button and placing it back into the cradle. That was probably the strangest call I've ever taken.

I slip my cell out of my pocket and pull up Edward and I's text thread.

_FYI- your ex wife just called. She says to "tell the asshole I called." _

I press send and scoop my snack up. Some mindless TV is definitely in order after that random turn of events.

His response comes pretty quickly.

_**I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I'll handle whatever that psycho wants. Don't worry, there's nothing between her and I anymore.**_

That's all the reassurance I need. I text him a smiley emoji before going back to watching _Chopped._

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Warm. So warm.

I pull my feet out of the warm patch they're situated in and stick them out of the covers to cool them down. As I'm doing that, I turn to face the other way and my face lands on something warm and firm. Whatever it is is smooth against my cheek and smells downright delicious.

My eyes immediately pop open. After a moment, they adjust to the light and focus on Edward's shirtless sleeping form next to me.

My stomach immediately jolts in surprise and my hands knot up in the blanket covering me. I didn't realize he was going to be home so early… he must have gotten a taxi home.

He looks damn good in his sleep with his face all relaxed and his lips parted. I have to resist the urge I get to trace my fingers over his features, not wanting to creep him out.

He stirs in his sleep and brings his arm down to pull me against him so that I'm laying mostly on top of him. My body immediately tenses, but then relaxes when his breathing evens out.

I take a moment to adjust my arms to make myself more comfortable. I curl one around his shoulder so that my hand is resting against his pronounced trap. I lay the other against my side and splay my hand on his stomach. My thumb slides perfectly into one of the ridges of his abs.

After I'm comfortable I lay my cheek against his chest and let the sound of his gentle breathing lull me back to sleep.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

Deep rumbling under my ear rouses me from sleep. I flex my hands around the bed underneath me and shift my face against my pillow, taking in its smooth quality and manly scent.

And then I remember.

I crack open my eyes and am met with the sight of Edward's pajama clad crotch. I flex my hand again and realize that I'm not holding onto the bed, I'm firmly gripping Edward's knee.

I try not to laugh at the position we're in. Edward's back is propped up against the headboard and my head is in his lap. I turn my lips down and shift my face away from the blue light his open laptop is emitting, which is propped up on the bed next to Edward's thigh.

"Yeah, okay. We'll work out all the specifics at the meeting tomorrow." Edward threads his fingers through my hair absentmindedly as he says this. Goosebumps erupt all over my body in response to his actions and I have to resist the urge to nuzzle his crotch affectionately.

"Thanks for calling, Jamie. See you tomorrow." He murmurs, his thumb sliding along my temple and around the curve of my ear. I let out a soft puff of air against the front of his pants, hoping the warmth of my breath seeps through his pants and warms his flaccid dick.

"I know you're awake, Bella." Edward murmurs, sliding his fingers down to cup my face in his hand.

I scrunch my eyes shut and turn my face into his crotch even more, hoping to stay in bed as long as I possibly can. For adults, being awake always means getting out of bed and immediately starting the day. I prefer to spend my Sunday mornings in bed with my laptop streaming something I selected randomly from the endless choices available on Netflix.

"Stop pretending to be asleep. I know you're awake." He repeats, combing his fingers through my hair. I dig my face into his crotch and have to bite my lip to hide the smirk of victory when I realize that I'm not the only one awake now.

"Bella…" he groans, "It's time to get up."

"No." I murmur, opening my lips up to form words and then leaving them parted so I can continue to huff hot air into his crotch. The speed his penis goes from a semi to a full-blown erection with just a little hot air as the catalyst amuses me. Or maybe it was the visual stimulation of my face buried in his crotch.

"Fuck." He groans as I nuzzle the ridge of his erection with my nose. "What are you doing to me, Bella?" He says as he tilts his hips upwards into my face.

Now that he seems resigned to getting freaky, I take the opportunity to lift my head from his crotch to get a good look at him this morning. He's shirtless, rumpled from sleep, and wearing those black-rimmed glasses that make me want to hump.

I drag my parted lips up the underside of his clothed erection and dart my tongue out to press against the head when I reach it. Meeting his hooded gaze, I drag my tongue from side to side making the wet fabric rub against the ridge there.

"Shit." He groans, dropping his head back against the headboard. "What are you doing to me, Bella?" He repeats, lifting his hand to cup my cheek as I drop kisses down his shaft and suck one of his balls into my mouth through his pants.

"If you didn't want a blow job." I murmur, reaching up to grab the elastic top of his pajamas. "You shouldn't have put my face in your crotch." I say as I tug the pants down, letting his thick cock spring free from its confinement.

"God, Bella." He murmurs, watching as I tug his pants down his thighs and settle the blankets so they're covering everything but my head and his throbbing dick.

"Spread your legs." I murmur, reaching up to stroke my hand up and down his ruddy length as he situates his legs for me. He bends his knees outward, staring down at me through those fuck hot glasses with his pouty lips parted.

"Thanks." I sigh, sliding between his legs so that he's straddling my shoulders. He nods and cups my face, guiding it silently to his dick. I give him an amused frown at the change in his attitude before dipping my head to trail my tongue up the underside of his dick.

"Fuck." He groans, his dick twitching against my tongue. I curl my lips up in a smile before dipping my head even more to swallow him down.

His other hand flies down to cup my other cheek as his knees lift upwards. I have to contain my amusement as he makes a startled noise when the head of his dick hits the back of my throat.

"Jesus!" He groans as I swallow around him and tighten my hold on him. I stretch my tongue out and wiggle it against the base of his cock before releasing a little bit of the pressure and bobbing my head.

My lips tighten and loosen against him as they slide up and down his length. Taking him almost all the way down my throat before I retreat again, my tongue wiggling against him the whole time.

I force my eyes open and upward and watch in fascination as his stomach rises and falls with each of his harsh, uneven breaths. I almost gag in surprise on my down stroke when I feel his foot settle between my thighs and his toes curl upward against the place that's hot, wet, and throbbing for him.

"Fuck, Bella." He groans, flexing his hips against my face and his toes against my clit. I tilt my hips and grind myself against the top of his foot as I pull him out of my mouth and into my hand. Gripping the slick skin tightly, I drop my head down to tongue his balls as I pump his dick. The moan this wrenches from him makes my already wet panties positively soaked.

"Oh my god, just like that!" He pants. Hooded eyes lustily gaze down at me as I pull each of his balls into my mouth.

"You like that?" I ask, biting my lip before going in for another lick. I drag my tongue in one continuous line from his balls, up his shaft, and around the head of his dick and back down again.

"Yessss." He hisses, watching through hooded eyes as I suck his balls back into my mouth. I hum around them and release them one by one before cupping them in my hand and dragging my mouth back up to swallow his cock.

"DADDY!"

The covers are over my head in an instant. Shrouded by darkness, I blindly reach out and tug Edward's pants up over his hardness. "Why is Miss Bella hiding?" Gav asks as he jumps up on the bed.

"I lost my earring!" I cry, moving as though I'm searching underneath the blankets. "FOUND IT!" I yell, emerging after I wipe the taste of Edward's dick from my lips.

I eye Edward with a look of restrained panic as I pretend to fasten my earring to my ear. He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and widens his eyes behind his glasses; his cheeks still streaked red from being so worked up.

"Can you make me pancakes?" Gav asks, curling his little body around his dad's frenzied one.

"Come on, buddy. I'll go get them started for your daddy." I murmur, moving to hop off of the bed. Edward's eyes follow me as I move across the room with his son in tow. His lips mouth the words "thank you" as his hand dips beneath the blankets to adjust himself, or at least that's what I think he's doing.

I pinch my bottom lip between my teeth and tilt my cheek so a dimple appears in it before ushering Gavin out of the bedroom.

Next time I need to make sure the door is fucking locked.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

We don't seem to find a moment alone until Edward urges the boys to go to their respective rooms to get ready to drop me off back at the dorms. When they're gone, Edward ushers me into his bedroom and closes the door behind us.

I pause by the bed and watch him as he takes a deep breath, still facing the closed door. His shoulders lift and drop with his sigh and his hand clenches around the door handle.

"I don't know what I'm doing." He murmurs, dropping his head against the door in front of him. "I'm making a huge mess out of everything. I'll be lucky if your dad doesn't kill me after he recovers from the heart attack that finding out about this gives him."

"Edward." I sigh, feeling completely sure of this and myself for some reason. "They don't have to know… not right now. Not ever if it doesn't work out… I just want to… I just need to _try_. I can't stay away from you any longer." I say, now close enough behind him to wrap my arms around his waist and rest my face in the curve of his spine.

"But what do you even want to try to do? You don't know me, Bella. Once you do you'll want to run in the opposite direction. I guarantee it." His voice is laced with bitterness. Like he's upset that what he's saying is what he thinks is the truth. Like he'd want to try something too. Whatever something ends up being.

"Why does all of this need to be so dramatic? I just want to hang out and get to know you. We have this connection… I can't stop thinking about you, Edward. I want you all the time." Edward's ribs extend with his breath and then contract with his exhale.

"Fuck, Bella. I want you too." He mumbles against the door, his hand grasping mine and guiding it to where he's still hard for me. I cup it in my hand and squeeze lightly before sliding my hand back up his body to where it was previously resting against his stomach.

"I want to try." He says after a minute of comfortable silence. "I can't stop thinking about you either. You've been all I've ever thought about ever since I saw you in those sweats in the Beach Club lobby."

I tighten my arms around his body and press a kiss against his back, not even trying to hide the smile that tugs at the corner of my lips.

It's happening. We're going to try.

*** * * ~ DILF ~ * * ***

After sharing a few chaste kisses, Edward leaves me to shower and pack up all of my shit. I luxuriate in his shower, using his shampoo for the last time this weekend before rinsing off and stepping out into the foggy bathroom.

Encased in a towel, I wander into Edward's bedroom and stop to take in the sight before me. Edward's dressed in a pair of basketball shorts and a garnet colored Florida State t-shirt with his laptop in his lap.

Edward distractedly glances up at me with his bottom lip sucked into his mouth and brow creased in concentration. Not really seeing me at first, he drops his eyes back down to the laptop screen. But then, as if he's realized I'm standing there in a towel, his eyes fly up to take me in. His fingers lift from the keys and move to close the computer and place it on the nightstand next to him. With his lip still sucked into his mouth, Edward beckons me to him.

My feet shuffle forward hesitantly as heat rises in my cheeks in response to the look he's giving me. Its only when we're knee to knee and his hands are cupping the back of my moist thighs does he speak.

"I only want to look, baby." He murmurs, flexing his fingers against my legs. "We don't have time to do much more than that."

I feel my head nodding in response as my heart pounds in my chest. Edward's fingers crawl up my body and gently peel the towel away from my skin. My eyes follow it as it slackens into his hands and then plops onto the ground.

"Look at you." Edward sighs, tilting his head back to scan his eyes over all of the dips and valleys of my newly exposed skin. "So fucking sexy." He says, his hands finally finding purchase on my naked waist.

My lids involuntarily lower over my eyes in desire as my core tingles. New moisture joins the residual wetness from the shower and the failed attempt I made at rubbing one out in said shower not minutes before. I'm sure that my swollen sex is a dead give away to what I had been up to.

"I just want to do one thing." He murmurs, guiding me so that I'm sitting down on the bed next to him. I watch, my lips parted, as he moves so that he's kneeling in front of me. It doesn't take much of a push for him to get me to lie back on the bed and spread my legs. I already know what's coming before his tongue even makes contact with my inflamed skin.

"Can you be quick?" He asks between licks.

"So close." I grind out, reaching down to thread my fingers in his hair in encouragement. "Just don't stop, never stop." I groan out, squirming underneath the pleasure of his tongue.

Every lap against my sensitive nub sends me closer and closer to my peak. And every swirl and twist of the strong muscle makes my thighs twitch around his head and my fingers clench in his hair.

"So good. You're so good." I pant out, my toes starting to cramp from being curled so tight. The lapping and twisting becomes relentless, the pressure building until warmth spreads in my belly and I'm finally panting with my release.

But Edward keeps licking. The lapping is unyielding and bordering on painful. I try to jerk my hips away from him but he follows me, tongue lapping away hungrily.

"Edward!" I whine, reaching down to push his face away.

But he won't budge.

"Stop!" I pant out, feeling a pressure inside me build again. "Fuck, stop… stop… stop…" The final stop coming out more like a moan than a command.

With every lap, the pain turns to pleasure. And suddenly my thighs are no longer clenched around his head but have fallen open in invitation instead.

"Fuck." I grind out, gripping his hair tightly as my second orgasm approaches steadily. "Fuck, yes. Uhnn Edward, baby, yesssss."

His hands squeeze my hips in response, his tongue otherwise occupied. I palm his face affectionately, watching through barely open eyes as he wiggles his tongue against my beyond swollen clit.

"Just like that." I pant out. "Don't stop. I'm gonna!" I moan out just as my orgasm crashes over me. My hips jerk off the bed when Edward slips a finger inside of me, curling it up so it's touching the place that makes me want to pee. My walls contract around his lone digit as he strokes that spot a few times, prolonging my orgasm to the point of pain and physical exhaustion.

"Does that feel good?" He murmurs, after he's removed his mouth from my clit.

"So good." I groan out, reaching down to pull his face up to mine. "Can't you just put it in? Just once?" I ask between kisses as I palm his hard cock over his pants. "It won't take long. Just fuck me baby, please. I need you inside of me." I beg, reaching inside his pants to stroke him.

"Fuck." He groans in resignation as he reaches down to free his dick from his pants. I stifle a gasp as he picks me up, pushes me against the wall, and fills me with his dick.

"I'm gonna be selfish." He murmurs, leaning down to suck my nipple into his mouth.

"Just fuck me." I groan, widening my legs so that his hips can piston back and forth freely.

The wall is cold and smooth against my heated back as Edward pounds into me. My hands are holding the back of his head as he buries his face in my neck to muffle his moans. His short, blunt nails dig into the skin of my thighs as he holds my legs open.

"Fuck… Bella…" He moans against my neck as his back tenses. "So tight."

"Just like that, baby." I urge, clenching my hands in his hair and curling my toes around his ass as he starts to hit the pee-spot inside of me.

"You like that?" He rasps, pulling his face away from my neck to watch his dick disappear inside of me. "Fuck." He gasps, "I'm gonna come."

I dig my toes into his ass and urge him to fuck me harder and unrestrainedly. His hipbones are painful as they crash into mine and then still as he comes inside of me.

"Shit…" He groans into my neck, "That was so quick."

I shrug and slide down the wall, dropping a peck on his pec when my feet are finally flat on the ground. "No matter." I murmur, sashaying around him to pick the towel up from the ground.

I gingerly mop up the sweat from my body before sliding the towel between my legs to clean up the mess he made there. "You might want to change your shirt." I say as I slip into my underwear. "It's all gross and sweaty and probably smells like sex." I state, wiggling my way into a pair of jean cut off shorts. "Plus it's fucking ugly."

Edward glances down at his shirt with a frown etched across his face. "Hey, I went to school there, you know." He murmurs while pulling the offensive shirt up and over his head.

"Yeah, well you should be glad I let you touch me with that thing on." I remark, threading my arms through the loops of my bra and fastening it in the back. "Fuck the Seminoles." I say, giving him the middle finger chop.

"Classy." He shoots back, throwing up the Miami U complete with middle fingers. "Down with the U." He says, flipping his hands so the U is tilted downwards.

"Number one school in Florida, baby." I laugh, pulling my tank top over my head. "And there's nothing you guys can do to catch up to us."

"Lets agree to disagree." Edward murmurs bitterly while throwing another Florida State shirt over his head.

"Someone's salty." I giggle, raising an eyebrow at his shirt choice. I've never seen he sport any form of school pride. I'm not exactly sure where this is coming from.

"From sex and sweat?" He laughs, completely misunderstanding what I meant by that statement.

"Aw, you're so cute and old. I meant that you're bitter. Look it up in urban dictionary." I laugh, slipping my feet into my sandals while tugging my bag over my shoulder.

"Sorry I'm not hip and young like you anymore." Edward grumbles, sounding exactly like he looks. Salty.

"It's okay. Thankfully for you, I happen to like older men." I quip, bumping him with my hip playfully.

"Thankfully." He grumbles marching his ass out of the bedroom. I watch him go with a smirk tugging at my lips, feeling happy and satisfied for once.

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**Phew... that was hot.**

**So, I just wanna address some things that were asked through review. The Lemisodes are just me being quirky. There is no separate fic to come from them. Sowwy. **

**Also, no story today because I'm too tired to think of one. But go ahead to tweet me or facebook me and I'll totally entertain you with my charming sense of humor!**

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**And now for your weekly installment of "_Edward's Pants Party: Your Baby Daddy's Juicy Lemisodes" _where Edward completely ravages the readers...**

**Lemisode Eight**

"You like that?" He asks between pants, one of his hands slapping down on your stomach. His thumb seeks out your clit, where he rubs vigorously. You tighten your legs around him and nod your head as warmth and pressure builds up in your lower stomach. "You gonna cum?" He asks, his jaw clenched tight.

You nod again. He speeds up his thrusts and rubs, his pale green eyes focused on the spot that you two are joined. The pressure keeps building and with one more thrust and rub, you fall over the edge.

Your knees jerk up as your back arches off the bed, spasms of pleasure rendering you speechless and out of control. Edward pulls out quickly and manages to flip your limp body over so you're kneeling on all fours.

"Fuck you look good this way." He groans, palming your back so you'll arch it more. He slides the head of his dick over your clit teasingly before pushing it inside. "Come on." He grits out, "fuck me." He leans back a little and pulls your hips back onto him then pushes you forward.

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**There's some more sex if the two lemons in this chapter weren't up to par for you!**

**I plan to update sometime next week! See you then!**

**xoxo**


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